Changing older books for political correctness--your opinion
3 years ago
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I am trying to be polite but... (long)
Comments (24)What would I do? 1. Report his e-mail address as spam to my ISP and to his. 2. Set my spam filter to block his e-mail messages. 3. I would not go to his home again. I'm not impolite enough to tell someone how to behave in his own home, but I won't subject myself to behavior I find unacceptable either. 4. If he made remarks to me in other settings, I'd say, "Oh, I never discuss things like that. My philosophical, ethical, religious and political beliefs were set long ago. Nothing will change them. (Smiling broadly.) Indeed, I'm quite certain that I'm right and that anyone who disagrees with me is wrong and dimwitted. And I'm sure that they think the same of me, so such conversations are just wasted time and breath." Then I'd ask him when or where he bought his pinball machine. Your sister is much harder. It's never easy to see a loved one go in a different direction on religion or politics. Your sister may be parroting the views of man she dates. It's also possible that she does "think for herself" and decided that his views make sense to her. Either way, telling her to think for herself will just reinforce the directions she heading. I'd try to keep this about manners rather than what or how she thinks. I'd want to do my best to give her an easy path "home" in case the man turns out to be truly bad news. That doesn't mean that you can't set your own boundaries. You can tell her that the views she's expressing now seem out of character for her, that the change is hard for you, and it scares you. You can also ask her to remove you from her distribution list for messages that have political content....See MorePolarized politics and passive aggression ...
Comments (72)I wanted to see if people would be offended by a comment about someone from the left being accused of not having a mind of their own and only using talking points from a left wing media person. I wanted to see if anyone would be flabbergasted that a lefty could be annoying at a party with his politics. I wanted to see if I could use the name Rachel Maddow in any form and not get attacked when it was perfectly acceptable for others to use Rush in derogatory insinuations. And what you found out, jterrilynn, is that the only part of your story anyone here took offense to was the derogatory name-calling you chose to employ that Rush Limbaugh is so famous for. If you had just used her given name, people would have read it and moved on....See MoreChange for the sake of CHANGE?
Comments (14)Yep, Yaya (have you read the Yaya Sisterhood book?) you are right, and when he lashes out it really frustrates me. I understand his reasons for it, but it still is unsettling. The fact he is hard of hearing, has bad knees and cannot do much construction work anymore, also depresses him. I've tried to get as much into this remodel to keep him from even trying to do the work himself. His poor knees cannot take hours on ladders, or hours putting in flooring. He once did ALL the work for additions or improvements but these days no way. I think that is part of his problem too. Of course, he wants to do it the OLD way, which is not up to the stringent code now in place for hurricane zones. So our disagreements about the ways they do things NOW contrary to the OLD FASHIONED way, or the way they did things up in MA which has different requirements (no worry for carrying heavy snow loads here, at all), puts him out of his element. We are not cutting many corners at all, with quality of flooring or roofing or strength of lumber and such as that. Even though we are OLDER PEOPLE, and should not worry too much about definition of "lifetime warranty" that is something he expects. I suppose that is why he insisted the cabinets be custom and wood, instead of the IKEA much less expensive kitchens. I figured that even 10-15 years from now, or not long thereafter, this kitchen would seem OLD to a buyer (more than likely a buyer would consider this a starter home) and they'd want to do some "updating" of the kitchen anyway. I know we updated appliances in our river house that Katrina destroyed, and that kitchen had been redone 10 years before. Steph, I think you make many good points, I like light floors too, which is why we have the ash hardwood going in. And, the new lighting fixtures will be super easy to deal with. I'm not going to keep big closets filled with anything stuck back for a rainy day if I can help it. Or shopworn chairs either--although he has 4 windsor chairs, and he takes pride in those. Somehow I'll have to find a place for them....and NOT at the dining table or in the living room! Right now I'm thinking about the Shaker style of hanging chairs on the wall out of the way. They would do okay in my Teahouse, up about 10 feet on a traditional Shaker "chair rail." with pegs for securing them up high. Hmmm, sort of lends new meaning to the term "chair rail" doesn't it! When I painted and decorated his MA cape, I took great delight in the house. I thought I was making it a traditional and pretty place like other capes. However, everybody who saw it said, "Oh, it is so SOUTHERN." I guess they were right. I believe the structure a lot similar to the cajun style and raised creole cottages of the south and the bayou. Both are charming homes to live in. Anyway, I must add that today he is more amenable to the work in progress. We've had a few days of respite from the work. The old roof, which is so bad it was crumbling beneath the feet of the carpenters, is to be removed tomorrow and the stickyback underlayment is to be laid down. The chimney will be refurbished with copper cap and flashing, new vents and turbines. He was much concerned about the dilapidated state of those crumbling shingles. As soon as GAF delivers our ultra high definition architectural shingles, maybe Thursday or Friday, we shall present a new face to the street. Namely a color called SLATE which has some green in it, and dark enough not to stain easily. The imminent install of the new roof has brightened his outlook considerably. And now I'm going to go read the last 150 pages of COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO. What a book!...See MoreBook clubs: When the book stinks.
Comments (30)What makes me chuckle when reading this thread is how often book clubs are reading the same books. Fall to Your Knees, The Memory-Keeper's Daughter, Wicked, A Fine Balance (which I loved) Water for Elephants, etc. and I've noticed this in other bookclub-themed threads. My club is 5-6 years old; most of us make a sometimes herculean effort to finish the book out of respect for the person who chose it (though every book we read has been voted on) as well as knowing that the discussion doesn't have a snowball's chance of success if the book hasn't been read. Personally, I could not finish "Seabiscuit" to save my life as I kept falling asleep while reading it. "A Beautiful Mind" was our inaugural book and nearly did our club in as almost noone could finish it. "Wicked" was also an unpopular choice with a number of members not finishing it and so was almost impossible to discuss which I found disapointing. We all read "Crossing to Safety" and enjoyed trashing it, unlike most other clubs who loved it. By and large, our best discussion come when any or all of these factors come into play: most, if not all, members have read the book; the designated discussion leader has come PREPARED with questions, background info, etc.; the book actually has some meat to discuss (please don't ever make me read Sophie Kinsella again); and the book isn't universally liked by the members. My club just had a terrific discussion using "TMKD." Even though I didn't find it well-written, it resonated with our group and had some grist for the mill. So--yes, I usually try to finish up the book, even if it is just a cursory and skimming read. I also thought "The Little Children" was an awful book with flat characters and a nonsense story line and I would have to be "locked in" somewhere to re-read and discuss it. On the other hand, my clubs meets in restaurants for dinner and drinks and I have no doubt that some late nights, the restauranteur would like to lock us out......See More- 3 years ago
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