Finally got an Instant Pot. What else should I have?
6 years ago
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What should I have done? I was only 18 when I got married.
Comments (47)I second what mizscarlett said. PTSD or even TSD is a very real thing that happens to many people, not just soldiers. Arcy- I understand why you wrote what you did, it is the common stance of the general public to abused and battered persons; I used to feel much the same. BUT....unless you have lived through it yourself and had the same crushing emotions, guilt, worthlessness and self loathing that these people have experienced from years of emotional abuse, you really are in no place to judge. It is easy to view as an outsider and say, "you should have just left", it is FAR more difficult to do when you've been, slowly over time, made to live in fear for your life and the lives of those you love or been made to believe that you are, in fact, worthless. The worst damage people like OPs husband do isn't physical, it's emotional and mental. Her mother was willing to pay for the divorce but she was so worried for her mother's safety from this lunatic that she was willing to endure additional abuse to keep her mother safe. You berating her for something she already regrets is simply blaming the victim and encourages other people to NOT come forward. Many people who are abused (not saying this is necessarily the OPs stance) state that their abuser is quite charming at first, a "catch". Slowly, over time the verbal and emotional abuse escalates but they still say, "s/he's so great, and they've never hurt me!". Then the first time comes and they are physically abused. They are so shocked that it happened and "it's never happened before" that they write it off. It happens again, a few months go by and it happens again...and again....and again. At this point it is happening at an alarming frequency but by this point, the battered person is so broken, so ashamed at not recognizing what was initially happening, that they stay silent. The victim blames themself. THEN, in worst case scenarios, they begin to actually believe what the abuser says. They believe they deserve this. They believe they messed up, believe they are worthless, believe they are at fault. Frankly, as much as I want to judge and blame someone for their past mistakes, I can NOT sit by and blame a battered person for their poor decisions regarding their abuser. It's not right and it's not fair. msgenie- you've been given some great advice already. The only thing I can add to it is that you've already given him power and control over 50 years of your life. He is gone now and you can finally live. Try to NOT let his ghost take any more of your life from you. You only get one life, one chance at this big game; make it count. Regret nothing, learn from it....See MoreHow often should I water my Peace Lily & what else can I do for it?
Comments (10)That PLs are usually found in riparian settings (streamside or in boggy environments) where they naturally occur is absolutely no cause to believe they will do well in boggy soils. They adapt well to various types of water culture, and perform very well in fast-draining, well-aerated soils, but should be expected to perform poorly when asked to make the transition in soils from lengthy periods of significant saturation to times when the soil has dried down and become reasonably well-aerated and more hospitable to the plant. The reason, as has been pointed out, is the fact that the plant will grow roots structured to allow the plant to deal with one or the other set of conditions, but not both in a cycle that starts with a long period of saturation transitioning to the more appropriate moist (rather than wet or soggy) medium. How well a soil drains is determined almost exclusively by the size of the particles it is comprised of. While the arrangement you have with the pot sitting above the effluent in the collection saucer is commendable, it has no impact on how well the soil drains or its level of aeration. 1. How often should I water? Intervals will vary with season, light load, amount of air movement, ....... Unless you use a soil that allows watering on a schedule as opposed to on an 'as needed' basis, and yours doesn't, you should absolutely stick to watering only when the plant gets dry to the point it needs water. In fact, in spite of the stress it would create, it would actually be better if you waited for this plant to exhibit signs of the first stage of wilt before you water than to water before the plant need it. I'm not advocating using drought stress indicators to signal the plants need for water - just trying to establish a feel for the idea that a little under-watering is less limiting than over-watering. For this plant, marking your watering date on the calendar and OCCASIONALLY waiting for the first signs of wilt to establish appropriate intervals between waterings is a reasonable strategy. If you'd rather, buy a wooden birch dowel rod (1/4 or 5/16") from a hardware or big box store. Cut into appropriate length pieces for your plants, sharpen the ends with a pencil sharpener, and use the pieces stuck deep into the pot as 'tells' that will let you know the moisture conditions deep in the pot. If they come out wet or stained dark from wet soil, withhold water until they come out clean. MUCH better than "watering gauges/meters". 2. What else can I do for this plant? The answer to that could easily fill a book. You could try reading this (click on link). I read someplace that liquid fertilizer once a month is good too. Yay or nay on that? To be meaningful, any advice regarding frequency of fertilizer applications has to take into consideration your soil choice and watering habits. For example, if you water in small sips to avoid your MG soil remaining soggy too long, a one month interval at the regular rate is an automatic problem for more than one reason, and the type of fertilizer as well as its NPK %s both play a part in determining the criticality of the issue. If you're using a soil that allows you to water at will w/o the need to fear consequences centering on the fact the soil will be saturated for a length of time measured in weeks, you can actually fertilize at low doses every time you water, which is how I choose to fertilize all my plants during the winter. One type of soil (those that are very water-retentive, like yours) make it almost impossible to maintain control over effective nutritional supplementation; other types of soil that support little or no saturation make establishing and maintaining a sound supplementation program monkey easy. Al...See MoreDoes anybody have an Instant Pot?
Comments (29)We just got one ... I am unimpressed. Yet another gadget my SO thought would solve all problems and solves none. It's FRICKING HUGE! ... can't fit where the appliances it supposedly is replacing are stored. It makes lousy oatmeal - far slower than my stovetop method and gluey textured. And the lid can't be tossed in the dishwasher like a pot lid. It won't replace the rice cooker, because if I'm Instant-Potting some meat and want rice, I'll need rice cooker too. it's also slower than the rice cooker because it needs to build pressure and depressurize....See MoreInstant Pot--what do I do with this?
Comments (18)haha. I had an itchy finger cyber Monday. We thought maybe for the beach house but rarely use the crock pot. (once a year). Amazon pulled the sale by mid day...sold out their limit pretty quickly. I really don't need it anyway. I was relieved. Though I do like a good challenge with a new toy. Caution. We, as a family, re-gift all the time but openly. A purposeful re-cycling. My SIL gave us, wrapped, a very nice wine decanter they received as a weeding gift yrs ago. And told us so. Etc, many re-gifted exchanges on purpose. Books, movie promo free copies, on and on. It is a great gift for that age bracket and busy student. But you may find yourself bluffing the fact that you have never used yours, nor a recipe to share. Because you have never used it and in fact gave it away. Could get uncomfortable if asked how you like it. After the gazillion sold this past weekend, they may get ten. Or may have one already. Seems the entire country has a few in every household going by the sales #'s. : ) I would call them and say after reviewing, the smaller one would suit best for your needs and see if you can exchange it. Or just get something else with the return. Or send a thank you note and state your fridge/freezer concerns. Ask if they have a few good recipes or if it can be returned.... Must be a straight forward way of playing this out that suits your relationship with them. Rather than getting caught up in a little 'fibbing' that snowballs....See More- 6 years agocloudy_christine thanked dcarch7 d c f l a s h 7 @ y a h o o . c o m
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