My experience is not the same as yours, but there is something similar- maybe it's FOMO. I find that when I am physically browsing things the selection seems too limited. After all online, I have unlimited choices- seemingly. And while historically I am one of those people who enjoys walking around stores and shopping in real life, my online shopping is much more utilitarian. I know what I want and get that thing. I find little joy is browsing online and am always amazed at what great finds people here come up with. For me the online world has marred the physical experience without replacing it at all.

Salonva, I have the same experience as you do. Everyone in my family kids me because I almost never buy unless it is something I need. I could never see the sense of buying something just to "buy". Sometimes I will walk through the entire store with something in my cart, then decide I don't need or want it and put it back. I do the same thing online also.

" I have always enjoyed browsing in stores”. I’m taking out my therapist pen and pad of paper here…is there anything else you are not enjoying? Do you feel okay?

Interests do change, but it seems like there is an awful lot of emotion in your words. Rita and Patti aren’t mentioning anxiety shopping.

Just concerned….

I get frustrated with the lack of products on the shelves. I also don't like the layouts forcing one to go through a maze to simply pick up a few needed items. Carts with squeaky wheels or bumpy wheels. Carts with trash in them all add to the negative experience. I grew up in an era when carts were cleaned daily and noone would dare put their child in the food area of a cart.

But the worst is the music. I loved Target when they were quiet. It was something they did on purpose. Apparently they are being run by young and stupid today. They have changed over to loud awful music in their new and remodeled stores.

I don't think this is shopping anxiety. I think it's shopping annoyance. Except for the music and noise. That creates such anxiety that I have simply abandoned ship. My hearing loss includes a lot of recruitment.

Since I am constantly on a mission to inform and educate:

Recruitment refers to a condition related to some hearing loss.

Recruitment causes your perception of sound to be exaggerated. Even though there is only a small increase in the noise levels, sound may seem much louder and it can distort and cause discomfort. Someone with recruitment can have problems only with specific sounds and frequencies or may have problems with all sound in general.

The theory of recruitment is that as the hair cells in your cochlea become ineffective, they "recruit" their (still working) neighbor hair cells to "hear" the frequency the damaged hair cell was supposed to hear, in addition to the frequency the still working hair cell was supposed to hear. This increases the signal from the still working hair cells.

The sounds reaching our brains appear to be much louder that normal. This is because the recruited hair cells still function in their original critical bands and also in the adjacent one(s) they have been recruited into.

The net effect is that people who have recruitment along with their hearing loss will experience an increasingly narrow range between the softest sound they can hear (caused by the hearing loss) and the loudest sound they can comfortably tolerate (caused by the recruitment).

Not everyone with hearing loss also has recruitment. It's a condition of the hair cells and their nerve endings in the cochlea. So, people whose hearing loss comes from other sources (such as conductive losses or nerve losses not involving the cochlea may not experience recruitment.

I wouldn't stress over it, just sounds like a "phase". The only thing I stress over buying are high-ticket necessity items like cars, large appliances, furniture, etc. Sounds like you just aren't really in need of anything in particular, which is a good place to be IMO. Also, some people think that shopping for clothes, shoes and beauty items are strictly necessities. That's how I am. About once a year I allow myself one of those dreamy browsing sessions and even try to buy something that I just think is drop dead gorgeous but not necessary and it slakes the yen.

If more than 90% of the times you go into stores you don't buy anything, I'd say that you're not going into stores to buy things. You're going in for the walk or to exercise your eyeballs with what's on offer. There's no reason for anxiety, buying is a low or even zero priority with what you're doing.

If you want to have a higher hit rate, I think you need to change your methodology and expectations. Why go into a store if you don't know what you want or need? Find other places to walk and other ways to window shop. Or, accept that buying isn't a priority and enjoy the visits for what they are - non-buying visits with a walk.

Maybe it's a male thing (though the females in my family are the same) but I don't "shop'. I buy. When I need something, I may do some advance checking but my buying is a surgical strike - I decide what I want, I decide where to get it or where to go to have a selection, I go in, make the purchase, and walk out. Try it.

I use the mind set that if I find a deal, say in a thrift store, I have to get it because I may never have the chance to buy it THAT cheap ever again! Or....JC Penny's has these coupons $10 off $10. I go and buy "something" just to use it. I find fleece jackets, capri's.....things I can always use "more" of and after the sale price & the coupon it's maybe a dollar!

A bit reassuring to hear others have similar takes on it. I hesitated using the word anxiety but couldn't quite think of how else to say it.

Elmer-I do plenty of walking outside - we have awesome parks and such here, but sometimes weather is not great or I just feel like exploring in a store.

The music is a non event for me- I hadn't noticed that Target now has it.

JudyG that is really interesting- I think I am honestly pretty good- but we did recently move and I am getting kind of frustrated that I haven't really made progress in the decor.......

I appreciate that I can come here and vent.

The move could be the root of it. They (whoever they are) say that moving is right up there with divorce, death of a loved one, when causing stress and anxiety.

Hey, you came to the right place. Want help with the new house? Post some pictures and we can all have fun with suggestions and I, for one, will help you use that charge card.

Found the article:

https://www.healthstatus.com/health_blog/depression-stress-anxiety/top-5-stressful-situations/

I am a lot like you are, but it doesn't get to me. I enjoy just "window shopping" as they used to call it. Just browsing around. I seldom find anything to actually buy but I guess I sometimes get some ideas. Maybe I have something similar already that I'd forgotten I had, get it out and use it when I get home. I just am at a place where I don't really need anything. Not too worried about fashion for clothing nor fashion for the house. I buy very conservative stuff that stays fashionable well into its golden years...HAHA!

Watchmelol, I agree about that loud music in stores...it drives me crazy! I cannot stand it. I think I'm going to start bringing ear plugs! SERIOUSLY! It's funny too, my cousin that I'm pretty much best friends with, was just telling me that she went to the store the other day and was about to go out of her mind with the loud music going and could hardly concentrate on grocery shopping! Why do stores think we want that? UGH! I suggest that you complain to corporate! When they opened a new ULTA in our town, the music was so loud any annoying that I literally could not stay and shop and just had to leave. I got home and wrote the corporate email a letter and told them of my experience. The next time I went there, the music was totally different and not nearly so loud.

My enjoyment of clothes shopping ebbs and flows with fashion trends. I buy utilitarian clothes online--Elmer's "surgical strike"--but I do visit brick-and-mortar stores and make purchases opportunistically, when something catches my eye or looks particularly good on me. Going into women's clothing stores with something particular in mind is more often than not an exercise in frustration, unless your want is something a vague as "T-shirts." My frustration comes when the winds of fashion produce nothing that I like for a season or two. A couple years ago, the in colors were olive, melon, citron, and aqua, and I bought absolutely nothing. The current obsession with shoulder and sleeve details leaves me completely cold. I'm just biding my time waiting for the tides to turn.

I love to shop for home stuff, but my house is furnished. I don't have room for anything else, and I don't want to replace anything that I have. So nothing comes of it, other than that I stay on top of home trends.

For me, the selection in the actual stores is limited. I remember years ago being able to go in and buy. Now, I do most of my shopping online at just a few sites.

My go to online is Loft and Loft Outlet. But......I buy one or two things at a time. Sometimes that involves shipping costs.

If you want to upgrade an entire wardrobe, you might have do shop weekly online, or if in the stores find out when new merchandise comes in.

The only store I like to browse in is Marshall's. It's like a treasure hunt and I have to be in the mood for this type of shopping. The only thing I can count on there is the active wear, but just the pants. Tops are scarce there. Other than that, I peruse the shoes (lucked out finding a pari of Pumas!) and the women's wear. I like their selection of towels and there is alway things in that department.

I like to grocery shop. I usually do my household shopping at walmart, and depending on when I go, I enjoy wandering and perusing. Sometimes I will reconsider an impulse and put it back, but usually I will do the consideration before it goes in my cart.

I also like stores like Marshalls,Ross, and TJ Maxx. Like eld mentioned, it's like a treasure hunt. I found almost ALL of my pink kitchenaid stuff at TJ Maxx and Ross years ago. The last few times I went though, there wasn't anything interesting and I havent found such a pink bounty for many years in a brick and mortar store.

I do not like clothes shopping. I used to. But now I hate it and don't do it unless I HAVE to and even then I will just order them online and just hope that they fit. My weight gain is probably the reason I dont like buying new clothes at the moment. On the one hand, if I need it than I need it. On the other hand, I feel like buying things in a bigger size is in a twisted way somehow resigning myself to BEING a bigger size. Sigh.

I also enjoy online browsing. I have things in my Amazon wish list and my Ebay watchlist that I like,but dont NEED. I would probably buy them if I came across them in a regular store. I keep them in my lists so when SO feels the need to get me a gift, I am full of suggestions.

The only time I feel what you describe is at a garden center. I will go in there, see a bunch of stuff I want, load up the cart, then before I go buy it, will have second and third thoughts about it. ("Where I am going to plant it? Do I want to fiddle with taking care of it? Will it come back next year? Do I WANT it to come back next year? They want HOW MUCH for this?!?!?! Etc.If it's an edible I can talk myself out of it usually by reminding myself that my sister grows it and I dont need to. I still grow maters though. Because its fun.) Then I will usually put everything back and start over. Usually. My last trip to Walmart didnt go that way. I ended up with 2 "babycakes" dwarf BlackBerry bushes and yet another hydrangea. Note to self" STOP GOING INTO WALMART THROUGH THE GARDEN CENTER ENTRANCE!!!!

I don't know how old the OP is, but as I age my shopping needs change. When your younger you acquire stuff you think is needed or wanted for your home or family. Then you reach a point in your life where you look and wonder where did all this stuff came from and do you really want to bring in even more stuff. No. I never was much of a browser. Only when a new store opens do I browse to see what type of merchandise they have. I make a list of what is needed and usually only head to those stores if I can't or don't want to buy it online. Some things I want to feel, try out or put on before buying and online doesn't let me do that. My max is 2 hours for shopping. After that I don't want to be in stores anymore and go home. I never could understand people making a day of shopping. That would drive me nuts. Now my mother would of lived in stores if she could of. She loved shopping.

When I was young and spent a year in NYC in retailing school, shopping (ie, just going in multiple stores) was a joy for me. SO many interesting stores with such interesting things!

When I go to London, I still enjoy shopping if I can have someone push me in a wheelchair - just can't walk enough to truly "shop". Again, interesting stores, interesting merchandise.

I found Paris very similar although I found their department stores confusing and overwhelming.

I almost never shop in stores anymore. Between my mobility issues, there is simply very little in the stores. So much is "online-only" even in big name stores. The floor is poorly merchandised, crowded, disorganized and hard to find anything. No dept store gives room to T-stands that feature merchandise anymore - it's stuff as much in as possible in a small space. No one does any floor merchandising the way we were trained to in NYC in the mid-1960's. Retailing is VERY different today.

Even shopping in NYC is no longer much fun. All the small, unique stores have been forced out due to astronomical rents and it's all luxury chain stores or mass-market chains. No uniqueness or individuality.

At time I loved to shop - "just looking" and actually buying. I loved clothes and wore them well. Alas, no more. For Easter this year, I wore a very basic Eileen Fisher dress I bought out of the Garnet Hill catalog - I own in in dark navy and black. It's becoming to a shapeless old woman.

Over it, I wore a gorgeous dark navy, lightweight wool coat I had made several years ago. On it, I wore a truly spectacular brooch I was given the opportunity to buy at a great price several years ago. And my triple strand pearl necklace. As my DD said, I looked like the Queen only I couldn't reach up to get my hat on the top shelf this year! I took that as a compliment as I think she always looks very smart and lovely - just "right" for her age. She has a few years on me, but we're both old and shapeless.

I was just thinking about this very phenomenon today! As I age, I'm just not interested in acquiring anything else. I think part of it is that retailers focus on the 18 to thirty-whatever age group and I really don't need that stuff.

I was thinking about this today as well! I seldom go into a store just to browse. If I do, it's because I have some time to kill or happen to be in a certain area where there's a store I used to love, but inevitably I walk out empty-handed and with a nagging feeling along the lines of, "Well, that's 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back." It feels like time wasted, walking up and down aisles and taking in all the ... well, honestly, JUNK. Most of what's out there is stuff I neither need nor want; in fact, it's superfluous and not made to last, and just one more indication of what a disposable society we have become. I used to adore browsing antique malls, but the last couple of times I've done so, I've been overwhelmed with the profusion of substandard offerings that sellers are trying to pass off as "antique" (or even vintage), the lack of quality items, and the high prices on everything. It truly feels like an exercise in futility. And sometimes that makes me feel a little bit sad, particularly where the antique shops are concerned, because I used to love them so - and a couple of decades ago, I WAS able to find some cool things in those places that spoke to my heart.

On the other hand, it occurred to me today that I rarely spend money on trifling little things anymore (my Coro necklaces notwithstanding -- some of you will recall our fun thread on costume jewelry!), but much prefer to save money to put towards travel and other such experiences. I have the "things" that I need and want, for the most part. Oh sure, I thought just the other day that I could stand to have another pair of black pumps for work, but I certainly don't NEED them and thus the thought of shopping for them goes out of my head about as quickly as it came in. Shopping fails to provide me with the thrill of the hunt anymore. I have really lost interest.

Last year I did sink a fair amount of money into creating a little "secret garden" off our patio, and over the past couple of weeks it's been a joy to see so many of the perennials starting to bloom again and to realize that I don't need to spend a small fortune at the garden center this season (although I did enjoy selecting from among the countless pretties there last year). It's like I feel I HAVE ENOUGH, ya know? I have enough of just about everything, and what I don't have enough of are the things that I can't be bothered to care about obtaining. More than anything, the loss of a love for shopping is liberating. I like feeling like I'm the one in control, and knowing that I choose not to shop can be a rather heady thing.

Mom & I used to love going on shopping sprees...we'd even overnight it to the outlets and had such a blast finding bargains and wonderful clothes for cheap. Shopping was a real sport for us, a total pleasure.

But now that I'm older, retired, and lost my shopping buddy, my shopping habits have changed tremendously. There are a number of factors....it's not as much fun shopping alone and I'll never find a friend with the same shopping habits/tastes as Mom and I had...the quality of the merchandise has really tanked so it's much harder to find decent clothing at a decent price...I agree in a lot of stores the music is annoying...in other stores the lighting is horrendous...being retired and knowing my body as well as I do, I have no need for trends that won't look good on me or fashions I think are just too out there...being retired, I have little need for clothes beyond jeans and tops, and I have many jeans already and more tops than I know what to do with, and I like what I have so much better than what I find in the stores, plus I have all the dress clothes I'll probably ever need given how little I wear them now.

So now my shopping is a lot more utilitarian...put what you need on a list...go buy it...go home.

I hate shopping, and I've also gone into stores just to see what they might have. Homesense, Winners, etc.

I recently was shopping for jeans and went to the mall. I haven't been to a mall in years. Like others the music was so loud in the stores, it was offensive. I went to several stores no jeans. No boot cut jeans. The Levis "outlet" had one shelf with a few on, the rest of the store was the slim, skinny, jeggings, super-slim style. And at $89 I walked out.

I finally found 2 pair at my local consignment store and they're perfect. Thank heavens!!! I was desperate.

The only stores that hubby and I would enjoy browsing in are the kitcheny type stores and we'd often find something to buy.

I only shop when I need to buy something and still get frustrated. I enjoy Costco though!

All your comments are resonating with me---- and particularly Annie's about the shopping buddy. I typically like to do it on my own, but it is tiring and I do (very fondly) remember going with my mom. I guess we had a routine and knew our limits as we rarely got irritable and whether or not we made a purchase, we had fun. I guess it's rarely fun any more and I definitely miss having someone to bounce ideas around with.

I am going to take Judy's offer and at least for the house, bring back a few of the posts I had after we had moved initially.

JudyG I sincerely hope you don't regret your kind offer! (and everyone else's assistance lol)

To me most of the stores just have a bunch of Chinese carp, some may be better carp than others but to me its all carp. When I furnish my house it either has to have meaning to me or I have to love it. Otherwise I can do without it. All the stores push are trends and they are always changing trends so that they can get you to buy new carp. Furnishing a new to you house is different in the sense that you actually need the items you are purchasing - sofa, chair, etc. This is my opinion anyways, I have lots of them!

I haven't read all the posts but will chime in. I used to love to "poke around the stores" as my mom used to say, but now it doesn't delight me a whit. I guess it's because I don't need anything anymore--it took awhile to build up our household, and I don't switch out the decorative stuff like my friend does. And maybe it's a feeling of pushback against the constant barrage from retailers to buy, buy, and buy some more, usually items that somehow utilize plastic or chemicals. What a downer I am! :)

Nail on head, shopping was a fun way to hang out and talk to mom.

salonva, bring it on!

You have made some pals here. My suggestion is to stay with this post and start anew with the house. Pick one thing at a time, starting with what is the most important dilemma with the house decor. Give us a chance to weigh in.

Oh my goodness. I remember that brochure!

Salonva, I am in a similar position as you! I also am in a fairly new home (although soon to be 1 year) and I have tons of ideas and inspiration but cannot seem to find what I want. I think part of that is I have budgetary limits so that sucks. And that sometimes leads to me look at items I can afford but don't really like. Then out of moments of desperation of just wanting anything I do buy something only to regret it later and hate that I wasted my money. Then I go back to the paralysis of not being able to make a decision bc I just made a bad decision.

I never used to be that way either. If I saw something I liked then I bought it and never regretted it. And I usually saw something I liked haha.

too funny- I remember those pamphlets (but obviously I am older because) I think I remember it in black and white!

I did have a thread a while back which had photos and drawings- and can certainly re-do or link it. JudyG I will start another thread-----My first item to address which I really want to resolve is a TV stand, console, sideboard, console table for the TV in the Family room where we spend most of our time.

Yesterday morning, as I got dressed and was putting on my gold chain necklace that I ALWAYS wear, I heard something "clink" on the floor in front of my dressing table. I looked down and there was a tiny piece of gold there. I realized it had come from my gold chain necklace. I went ahead and put on the necklace. BAD decision as last night, I could not remove it - that tiny piece was part of the clasp. So, I slept in my necklace.

Today, I took it to a nearby jewelry store. I knew they had their own henchmen there - none of that "we'll have to send this out and it will take 3 weeks stuff". I had not been in this store in 3-4 years and was shocked at how low the inventory was and how pedestrian it also was. It used to have a lot of really beautiful, often unusual fine jewelry. No more.

One of the henchmen is the owners son and I asked him about the small inventory. He said they do mainly repairs and re-settings these days - women are no longer buying fine jewelry. I was stunned until I thought for a bit and realized I should not have been surprised.

About 10 years ago, I was asked by a woman I knew who owned a small jewelry store that carried lots of high end fine jewelry, to come help her at a small trunk show at out town's most expensive ladies clothing boutique. We sat there for 4 hours and did not sell one single thing!! I told my friend that this was not their customer. This customer liked "showy" clothes with lots of details - lots going on with these clothes. Jewelry requires simple, plain clothes that allow the jewelry to shine.

Well, today, not only do women prefer "showy" clothes if they actually bother to dress up (yes, they still DO dress up for Derby here!), but most often today, women are dressed casually to the point of it being rather "careless". Just what jewelry goes with Lulu Lemon work-out clothes? Work clothes? Pretty casual these days - even lady executives no longer wear beautifully tailored suits and dresses for work. With "casual", a simple necklace, a bracelet (maybe - some people have trouble typing on the computer while wearing one), perhaps a ring (again, some have trouble typing) and perhaps earrings (always having to take on off to talk on the phone).

When women go out to dinner at night, it's "dressy casual" with more emphasis on the "casual" than the "dressy" part. Church? If they go, it's either VERY casual or dressy casual.

When I went to church Easter Sunday, one woman greeted me and said she was hoping I would be there as she always looked forward to see what lovely brooch I would be wearing. These days, the Queen and I are about the only ones who wear brooches anymore - occasionally the Duchess of Cambridge, but pretty rarely.

So yet another "pretty" thing that has gone the way of the Dodo bird. I wonder what my DD will do with my jewelry? Will she actually wear it or sell it? I only have one granddaughter and her mother and maternal grandmother have tons of jewelry, much far nicer than mine. And then there are the three grandsons. It rather breaks my heart to think that probably no one will even want my lovely jewelry, lovingly collected over the past 50+ years - some even earlier gifts from my parents.

I hate change...

Here is the link to the [the new thread for my family room please have a look[(https://www.houzz.com/discussions/help-me-and-my-new-to-me-house-decor-decisions-dsvw-vd~5680504?n=67)

The only stores I've ever really enjoyed poking around just to poke around have been groceries (okay, that's the foodie in me) or bookstores. And there aren't many of the latter left. I'm too tall for most clothing stores to carry things that fit me (other than short sleeved tops and the like) so I do most clothing shopping on line, or in moments of desperation for short sleeved stuff that fits, in person. I may be weird as a woman - I've never, other than those two exceptions, enjoyed shopping just to shop.

Okay, actually now I've developed a fondness for shopping at Tractor Supply. But I think that's entirely for my chickens...

I find that shopping in general is anxiety producing for me, too many other shoppers parking their cart on one side of the aisle and blocking the other side with their bodies :-) I'm a grumpy Gus today I guess.

Ah yes. Tractor Supply, little hole in the wall ranch shops, Riding Warehouse, home improvement centers and related small fabricating shops. Used to like kitchen shops but they are all about costly brand names over quality now. So I prefer restaurant suppliers or online for that.

When they passed out the clothes shopping /make up /gawd forbid the maul gene I was checking out the scenery elsewhere I guess.

The only shopping anxiety I have is when the only place that carries (locally) what I want to buy is at someplace like Joann's Fabric or Michael's and I HAVE to go there.

I can barely believe these stores stay in business. There is never anyone to help you find what you want. At Joann's, if you're buying fabric, you have to stand in line to have it cut. Today, what I would have guessed would be a slow day, I was 5th in line to have fabric cut and there was one clerk. The woman ahead of me had about 10 bolts to have cut. My blood pressure is rising just writing this. THEN you have to go stand in line again to pay for your purchases - I was about 8th in line, but there were 2 cashiers. It's inhumane, lol! I'd rather poke my eye with a stick than go to either of those stores.

Olychick, I agree Joann fabric is the worst. Last time I went the girl didn't even know how to cut the fabric. I had to show her! Plus the fabric is over priced and their coupons are mostly useless.