I agree 100%. After many, many tries I finally got my grandmother's chocolate pie. I'm still working on her yeast rolls. It has been a lot of trial and error, and I'm not there yet, but I have eaten a LOT of delicious rolls in the struggle. :)

Annie, that is so true! ! There are a number of things my mother made that I would love to be able to make now, she never wrote them down, and they didn't come from a cookbook, either. She only had one cookbook, and seldom used it. She was in "inventive" cook, using what was on hand and available at the time. Going through World War I, the Depression, tnen WWII, she never really had the luxury of many ingredients we consider basic now. And she never taught me to cook, either. We lived on a farm, my Dad often had an additional job to the farming chores, and Mom always said he needed my help in the fields and barn more than she needed it in the house and garden. So many of my favorite dishes from my growing up years are pleasant memories that I try periodically to recreate. A few I can come close with, but it's been so many years, I'm not sure how close because I may not be remembering all that well, my memory of some of those dishes may be 'enhanced'!

So, when my kids started calling with the "Mom, how do you make ..........?" I started writing things down. My plan is to eventually create my own, personal cookbook to give to them.

Rusty

And then you meet up with those that are possessive and make all types of excuses, even if someone is willing to measure and write down the process while they make the food. Others don't include all of the ingredients. I've become convinced some want to take it to their grave, and not let anyone else's ever match up. Sad, really. Instead of "This is your great Aunt Maggie's [whatever] recipe--it is the best!", followed by what else is known about her, it becomes lost in one generation. Soon no one has ever heard of Aunt Maggie or what she did that was great. I also know children that have stolen written down recipes after the cook dies, or is moved to extended care facilities, and then refuse to share them with siblings. People can be awful and selfish.

When people ask me for my recipes, I not only share the original, if applicable, but my version with any alterations I have made described. Plus brand named goods used if I think that makes a difference. They often alter the recipe to suit their tastes anyway!

I second writing down your recipes or at the very least, have your offspring watch and write while you cook! I was very fortunate that my Mother and my Oma taught me their recipes and watched me make them. My bookshelf has all her cookbooks, most in German. I have also written down most of them, just for me, in case my memory fails me.

AnnieD: Could the creamed kohlrabi have been steamed and then heavy cream and nutmeg added? That was my Mom's recipe.

yup, my grandmother had this graham cracker dessert thing. She baked it, let it cool and then filled it with a chocolate mint pudding filling and chilled it. She cooked the pudding and added mint. It was special for xmas holidays. Have bee able to almost recreate it but not quite ... no recipe, lost to the ages. My recreation has creamed cheese-whipped cream as the second layer ... chilled and then a pudding whipped cream filling. It's really good but not quite the same

I wrote my own cookbook crammed with all the family favorites that included what few recipes I got from Mom, MIL, Grandmother and others. I gave copies to very close relatives, telling them to hold them safe in case I croak. My Mother never used written recipes and although most I learned by watching, others not. I wish I had her way of making Cole Slaw, BBQ Sauce and Corn Bread especially.

Thanks pkramer, but I don't ever remember them having heavy cream in the house unless it was for whipping for dessert. Maybe something with milk, butter and flour? I suspect that would be more likely. The problem is, I don't think I ever ate it so it'd be hard for me to recreate...dh would have to do all the tasting.

So true! Dh has talked about his mom's pineapple squares for years. No one he talked to had her recipe ... until today. He's visiting his brother & SIL in Denver and she found it in one of her cookbooks. Hopefully, it's what he remembers.

And that is another problem. What mom made is always better than anything I can come up with. In my husband's case, I suspect it is the meds. He craves a recipe he remembers from his mom for chocolate pie. He knows it had 3 eggs, used 2 squares of chocolate. Chocolate meringue pie recipes are pretty similar, I have tried every one. I ate her chocolate pie and it was good, but like most every one I have had. He thinks they all taste like jello pudding. How can milk, eggs, butter and chocolate with flour to thicken taste like jello pudding?

Reminds me of the old joke.

Newlywed doing her best to please her new husband with all the meals she prepared. But he keeps saying, "Doesn't taste like mother used to make." As her frustration grows, finally she breaks down in tears expressing to him how hard she's tried to please him. He replies, "You don't get it. Mother was a lousy cook!"

I was finally able to guess at the ingredients of my mom's delicious potato salad and deviled eggs. So many other recipes we loved are gone. My aunt made the most delicious boysenberry pudding, and I cannot find any such recipe.

Nancy, I'm not sure what Jell-o pudding tastes like, but basic chocolate pie does taste like basic chocolate pudding to me, but stiffer. Do you think maybe his mom had a "secret" ingredient? Like a dash of cayenne or something? My mother put coffee in the honeycake and mustard in the gingerbread, but it's not written in any of her recipe books. She did note down some changes in proportions, but there are other recipes where I know she would open a certain book, but what she made wasn't what's actually on the page.

I did get most of the important ones, especially the arroz con pollo, and her great aunt's blintzes. Most things, I've cooked with her so I could probably recreate, and simple things like meatloaf, casseroles and fried chicken I've come up with my own recipes (leaning on her advice and experience), which I think are better. I even got my grandmother's way of making gefilte fish from my father, who used to help her, even though I'll never cook fish.

Annie D., thank-you, I'm going to thank my mother when I talk to her today, for not only teaching me to bake and cook, but for making sure I knew the recipes and how to buy and handle the ingredients, and all the rest. (Though the only thing I know about buying the fish is to avoid the ones with the evil eye. :D)

ETA: It is the cream pie at the bottom of the page. He wrote chocolate next to it, the chocolate variation is just under.

I was fortunate to have found my grandmother's cookbook or at least the one she used all the time. Her recipes were written on 3x5 index cards and lost to time, but the cookbook helps with recreating some of what she made.

I've been preserving my recipes on my website. Feel free to visit and poke around.

Mission accomplished. Mother has been thanked. I told her about our discussion and Nancy's chocolate pie dilemma. Just trying to amuse her. It's not like I've ever seen her make a chocolate pie (fruit only). So, as soon as I said I"d thought there must have been a secret ingredient, she came out with "a spoon of brown powder." "Cinnamon?" I asked. "No. You know. Coffee."

Nancy, maybe it's worth trying some instant coffee powder in the chocolate pie? I have chocolate cake recipes that call for espresso or coffee. It doesn't end up tasting like coffee or mocha, just more complexly chocolate. It would elevate the pie from Jell-o pudding-ish for sure.

Ricky, thanks for your link. I love it. All your cookie recipes in one spot. How convenient. :)

Sherry, I will check. I have his mother's old cookbook, Better Homes & Gardens, I bet it is the same recipe. May be the same cookbook. The process is certainly right, with the butter being stirred in at the end.

He actually used to make the pie before we were married. I used a recipe that used cocoa, and he said at the time it tasted just like his mother's. He would have known about the coffee, and would refuse to eat it. Even if he can't taste it. But sounds good to me, I need to make a pie crust this weekend and try That! Thanks! I really think it is his taste buds, or medication. He is diabetic, high blood pressure, cholesterol, baby aspirin and blood thinner. And no, he really should not have it anyway.

Some foods don't taste as good to me either these days. But that is mostly packaged foods I used to like, such as hostess snack cakes. Probably because I bake from scratch now and can tell the difference.

We created a family cookbook for both my mother's family and my father's family because we didn't want to lose the recipes from their parents' generation. We included copies of family photographs, a family tree and some family stories. The two books are two of my most treasured possessions.

When DD left home I gave her a blank book in which I had written the recipes for her favourite dishes. As she’s asked for other recipes I’ve added them in, today I added banana cream pie which her husband likes :-)

There are a couple of my Mom’s recipes which clearly she had a technique to make them turn out as they did, which I’ve never been able to replicate. I’m not sure if she would have told me if I’d asked, because she was a little secretive with her special recipes, not passing on the complete ingredients list, for instance.

DH’s Mom was 10 when the war started in the UK, so her “learning to cook” years fell mostly during rationing. As a result, she’s an OK if uninspired cook. She doesn’t really enjoy cooking, or eating for that matter. DH prefers my cooking :-)

My Son IL inherited what they call his grandma’s cake pan. It’s a rectangular heavy aluminium roasting pan which I’m sure his Depression-era grandma used for everything, not just cakes. It’s perfect for a roast but DD gets antsy if I cook a roast in it when I visit. SIL’s cousins claim that grandma’s cake recipe doesn’t taste right baked in other pans but DD and SIL don’t care to lend it out because it probably wouldn’t come back. I told them to suggest the cousins look for a heavy aluminium or iron roasting pan.

It's so funny how so many things happen coincidentally. Just last night DH's cousin called to say another cousin is visiting and can we get together. Mind you I haven't spoken to her in a couple of years. Next thing I know, we are talking food, cooking and we both have a copy of an old czech cookbook that she said she found on ebay now for $145!! When we get together, in addition to family tree stuff, we'll have to swap recipes!

Sherry, I love your photo of the cookbook page with splatters and drips; it makes me smile. Pristine cookbooks seem so sad and unloved in comparison, making me wonder if anyone ever used them or cared about the recipes. Obviously used books make me visually picture the cook preparing the item, making those oops moments, and everyone enjoying the finished product.

I remember reading in a newspaper column or Readers Digest once many years ago, a tale from a mother that had to leave suddenly for a week or so. The children later told her they were thrilled that the temporary caregiver made their favorite meals. The mother was curious how she knew what the favorites were, since there hadn't been time to discuss meal plans. And the temp replied that she just used the recipes from the messiest, most food splattered, pages of the cookbook. :)

Dad was kinda messy. You should see the entire cookbook, the tabs on the dividers are worn off. He was a good cook though. Mom, who was probably the one who got the cookbook when they got married, couldn't boil water.

I'm making a cookbook for our 50th with our favorite recipes by year and event

Nancy, have you tried a chocolate chess pie? It basically is a baked chocolate. . . might be something he would like as it certainly is not a pudding pie as it is baked. As for my mom and recipes, for a long time I had to "sneak" and write down stuff because she refused to share secrets. Later, she did give to my older sister and to me some recipes -- but we both will swear she didn't include all the ingredients or perhaps left out something from directions. At times we have compared what was given to each of us and some things are different. We finally decided that she combined a few recipes and didn't admit it because she would swear she made them up herself. My older self on occasion remarked to her about the omissions from what she gave to me as her recipe and what actually went into the dish. On that occasion she left the kitchen and told me to finish cooking myself. Mom did not play well with others.

I treasure, and use, my grandmothers recipes from the 40's onward. My mothers too, but she was a product of the next generation after grandmother, so she used a lot of new fangled processed and frozen ingredients.

No one in my family seems much interested in all the recipes that I have written down. I started writing down recipes in case I became an invalid and could no longer cook for myself, and I wanted someone to know how to cook for me after I was no longer able. It looks like that was a was a fantasy. My one sister-in-law has collected a few recipes from me, but she is the only one and my no one in my family seems to like her except my brother - certainly not her step-children. After my parents passed, I have only been back to Texas once (briefly), and I do not expect to spend much more time there.

Lars, we are blessed that you share here!

Lars, I like your recipes, my husband who eats about 10 things (and as little vegetables as possible) wouldn't, so I don't even try. Every now and then I cook something just for me. It helps if it can be froze for later.

My grandmother from Grand Bay, Alabama (Mobile), always made oyster dressing. After she died, it took me several years to figure out how to make it. Most of them eat it at Thanksgiving, but no one wants the recipe. One cannot eat it, allergic to fish and one won't touch it. I guess it will die with me.

Oh, I do make a chocolate chess pie, he loves that one, but when he is in the mood for chocolate meringue pie, just not the same.

Nancy, have you tried different kinds of chocolate or cocoa powder? There's a big difference, for instance, between Valrhona and Nestle, Droste and Ghirardelli. Etc.

BTW, my mother has been bringing up all kinds of other recipes that I've never seen her make. Most are classic American recipes, like the chocolate pie, that she learned before she was married but had put aside by the time I was old enough to remember. The one that did come out of hiding when I was in my '20's, and which I did get from her, was apple pie. The apple pie she learned from the neighbor when she was a teen (apparently the one time the neighbor was that nice to her) is different from what most people make. OTOH, she doesn't really remember the old family beef stroganoff recipe. I don't really care other than for posterity's sake since her mother didn't cook much, but I can't see myself ever making it.

My mom was a so-so cook, nothing memorable - dad didn't want anything on his plate to touch anything else there, no casseroles or mixed up foods, would not tolerate any sauces or gravies mucking up his dinner, and anything "foreign" was out of the question - only mid-American = BORING. Mom didn't have a chance. Plain meat or fish, potato, a unadorned single veggie, squishy Wonder bread. Luckily desserts were my saving grace as mom said I could make anything I wanted to. Conquering (pate e choux) eclairs at 12, perfect dark chocolate mousse at 13, savory cheese souffle at 14, baklava at 15, baked Alaska at 16, croquembouche at 17, gave me the incentive to go on to a "real" food experience freedom when I married at 19 and didn't have to feed dad! Every possible "foreign" dinner was presented to the 'then husband' and kids. Now, more than 50 years later, I have tons of recipes that I have written down with reviews by family and so I passed them on to my kids and the grands. Yay or Nay, and why. Too heavy on salt, too tart, too mushy, too spicy, too blah. I made up a recipe book for each of the 11 grandchildren. Result was that for them it is so much easier to use their smart phone and have any possible dinner/dessert delivered. There will be no saved family recipes in the next generation. Sadly, they have no memories of what special delicious things grandma made for them, or even from mom who only knew take-out too.

That's so sad, Nancyofnc, that's so sad! But the young people nowadays are getting more and more into food and cooking, so maybe in another few years the grandchildren will be grateful for their books. Or maybe the great-grandchildren. You never know. These things go in cycles. Example, the woman who was an indifferent to adequate cook and was highly uninterested in cooking, and career focused. Her kids, grown, cook for real. I think the message they received was if you want good food, you'd better find a way to make it yourself. :)

stick a copy of your recipes in your safety deposit box for them to ponder when the time comes ... it will give them some pause

I tried the chocolate pie with some coffee, i liked it, just a little different flavor. DH was not excited :( but he can be very picky. I have tried using Ghirardelli, and the more common brand, Nestle? I don't think he was more impressed by one than another. I thought for a while it was because I used 2% milk, but whole milk or even light cream makes no difference to him. I have mostly given up. I do appreciate the suggestions though.

Regarding the Chocolate Pie, I can only imagine at that time his Mom used Hershey's Cocoa. That is what most households used for many years. Have you tried that brand?

I have tried Hershey's cocoa, he swears it is not right. He remembers either 2 or 3 squares of baking chocolate. I prefer the ones with cocoa, myself. I really feel his taste is off, but seems to be a texture thing more than taste...

It was no doubt Baker's chocolate squares. My grandmother used them and my Dad used them. I used them. It was one ounce per square of unsweetened chocolate. Baker's new and unimproved them a few years ago. There were two sections to each square. One square was one ounce.

There were other brands back when. My mother always used Droste chocolate and cocoa powder.

Every once in a while my DH will unearth an "old family recipe" that his mom wrote down from Hong Kong. His grandmother and a couple of great-aunts were beloved family cooks.

So it was very nice that she wrote the recipes down, but as others have posted, it's not really very helpful when there's no measurement of any ingredient, LOL!

After being unable to recreate some of my improvised successes, I now make myself write down measurements, timing, and ingredients so I can make the dish again [smile].

I don't get into a big thing about lost family recipes anyway. Eating has changed so much in my lifetime; neither we nor my family eat the way we did 25 yrs ago.

I have one recipe I recreated from a photograph that my family loves, and a few years ago I gave the recipe to my niece. But I doubt she'll ever make it. It's time-consuming, and not something her DH likes. So she doesn't have the time to make something like my recipe, in addition to other dishes she's making for a family special event.

My mom, age 80, is making me a cookbook. She had it out but wouldn't let me see it lol It'll be a treasure for me one day because she's a very good cook.

@Jakkon: You wrote, "After being unable to recreate some of my improvised successes, I now make myself write down measurements, timing, and ingredients so I can make the dish again [smile]."

You are so right. Many years ago I created a cake that was so good, my family of four ate in all in one evening. I did not write down what I did, because I thought I would remember. Well, needless to say, I did not remember. To this day, my son will ask me if I have ever remembered what the ingredients were and how I prepared and baked it. I never have recalled. When I am in a creative mood now, I keep paper and pencil on the counter so I can jot down as I am putting the everything together. That one oversight made a believer of me to always write it down.

When my daughter was getting married, I made a cookbook for her accumulated from my family and DH's. I put in family photos of the original cooks, family eating/celebrating, and clip art. Here are a couple of pages. (The one that says Lemon Cheese is usually called Lemon Curd. DH's grandmother immigrated from Australia as a young woman. This is one of many recipes she brought with her.)

Well, heck, fresh hoop cheese used to be the most available cheese and in any store, and now it is nigh on impossible to find, so even on the occasions when one might want to drown in eggs and fat, it's hard to make Auntie S's blintzes, but we improvise on the filling with what we can find, and the recipe is passed down. Some things should never be forgotten. :)