I don't want a divorce so help please!
Irricca Brightharp
6 years ago
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Melissa R
6 years agoakl_vdb
6 years agolast modified: 6 years agoRelated Discussions
I know I need help so please don't criticize!!!
Comments (8)Dad has GOT to take a more active stance. Bio-Mom doesn't get to dictate all of the terms just because she has primary custody. The problems you describe are serious, and heading down a nasty, difficult road. If Bio-Mom doesn't change her ways, this child will be one of those 'never grow up, live at home' adults who can't hold down a job or maintain an adult relationship. I know Momma loves her 'baby', but it's going too far, waaay too far. Is there any indication that the child isn't capable of doing for himself? Any signs of a developmental disability? Since he's old enough to be in school, I'd schedule a conference with his teacher. Or rather, I'd make sure your husband does it, then show up there yourself "to be a supportive wife and stepmother." It'll be walking a tightrope, but it's necessary. See what types of difficulties he's having in school, of if he's able to cope there, but just not at home. Whether or not to include Bio-Mom is a tricky issue -- Maybe talk to the teacher first on the phone so you get an idea of whether or not she has the same concerns you do? If she does, let her be the one to take the lead with Bio-Mom on ways to encourage independence and self-reliance. If the teacher isn't concerned, it could be that stepson's behavior is specific to your household -- which would be a whole 'nother can of worms. (If you have the same last name as the child, odds are good the teacher won't even know you're the step-mom until you tell her -- Which of course, you'll do at the 'appropriate' time.) There are ways to encourage a child's independence without saying "You have to do it yourself." Try showing him once, then asking him if he can do the next one. (Make sure it's something small and simple where his chances of success are near 100%.) If he's slow to comply, be 'unavailable' to help for a few minutes -- maybe "as soon as I get back from the bathroom" or "take the clothes out of the dryer" or "stir the pot for dinner." He'll probably rather do it himself than wait. Or tell him how much the 2 year old looks up to him since he's so much bigger, and ask him if he can show the little guy how to do something. (Never mind that it could be the reverse...) Letting him know what to do, then walking away and leaving him to fend for himself can be a very effective strategy. Praising small advances, looking for good behaviors to reward, and admiring 'big boy' things may also encourage the types of behaviors you want to see. Good luck - and hang in there. Above all, try to remember that the little boy's self-crippling behaviors are a result of his mother's actions, not (yet) a character trait....See MoreSick, sad, weird, divorce......Don't want to offend anyone!
Comments (21)SAD.........Yes Divorce is sad in most instances, especially after so many years. A divorce is better than living in fear or being abused any longer. SICK.........Nudity isn't necessarily sick. He's an adult. Its his camera his cabin and he hasn't broken any laws by having nude pictures of himself. WEIRD 1......I'm not sure what an attorney would mean by "ammunition for support". A good attorney knows Alimony/ is determined by how much one spouse supported the other during the marriage and if there is a hindrance to the spouse who is seeking support from working and supporting self at the same level of lifestyle. Child support is determined by who has primary custody and how old the children are. Any children over 18 are not eligible unless there is some previous agreement such as continuing education and housing costs for students. Both Alimony and child support amounts are totally up to the judge how much and how it is paid. Trying to use as ammo or blackmail with, deleted pictures???? Sounds like the attorney is not an ethical person. WEIRD 2.........Yeah a little. I'm surprised she asked to borrow his camera. While going though with what appears to be an ugly divorce, then borrow a camera like he is a good friend. Obviously it only takes a few minutes to download pics from a digi cam to a computer so why the immediate need to borrow another camera? Oh well one woman's life up for scrutiny based on a few sentences on the web is better than anything on TV tonight. LIL...See MoreDon't want to mess this up Please Help!
Comments (6)I would,as it gives the fabric more body,and it makes it hold up better,when you are working with the corners/points etc.I've made hundreds of dolls over the years out of many different fabrics,and I almost always use ,the appropriate interfacing.Just be super careful when ironing the interfacing on,that your iron is not too hot. Kathi...See MorePlease help me pick my wall paint so the cabinets don't look yellow!!
Comments (5)blue cancels yellow. it's your lighting. during the day they look whiter. This looks perfectly white to me. when you turn on the lights it looks yellow. yellow lighting. get 4000K bulbs in every light fixture in the room. every, single one. Look how yellow this is!! when you do that, take new pictures and come back. 4000K is a nice, bright white. when you start getting into the 5000 range, it turns very cool and blue. just stay w/the 4000K. Personally I'd paint the kitchen walls another color. the one that is currently there doesn't do much for the cabinets or the counter....See Morehummingalong2
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