When they were teens (17 and 18) we bought one daughter a puppy and got the other a kitten. We still have two pets, tho the younger daughter has moved into her own apartment. That dog misses her so-she waits at the top of the stairs near her bedroom door, hoping DD will come home. She never does. When she does stop by (a couple times a week) the dog goes bananas with joy, jumping and running all around. Even tho I am the one who always feeds her, lets her in and out, brushes her, and allow her to come up on my bed antime she wants. Go figure!

I feel the same way about my husband's exwife. I am custodial stepmom of 3 chlldren. My husband has always had custody because the exwife decided one day she no longer wanted to be married or a full-time mother. Before I came along she constantly dumped 99% of her time on my husband, he of course never said no, she had full control of her old household only she lived in a differnt place and had her own life. It was a very unhealthy situation. My husband just never stood up to her, he struggled to keep a full-time job and take care of 3 children. I give him tremendous credit because many men in his situation would not be able to take on that responsibilty. Well, then I come along, we get married and all of a sudden she begins to take a deeper interest. Mainly because I would not allow her to control my household and my husband began saying "no", She always used us as her babysitter, whether it was a work meeting, an exerecise class or a European vacation. She has been nothing but a major PIA, she wouldn't pay child support when my husband enforced the order she opened a full blown custody case, suing us for full custody because she did not want to financially support her children. We also have a screwed up schedule. During the school the chldren visit their mother Mon&Tues 4-8pm with alternating weekends. During the summer they visit her Mon-Wed 4-8pm with alternating weekends. The exwife wanted some crazy, they live with her 3days one week, then us 4days, and the next week it was the reverse. Mind you, she only had a 2bedroom condo. All three children sleep in the same bedroom. 2 girls 13&10 and a 8yr old boy. The master had enough sense to reconize that the living arrangemnents were not appropriate and would not grant anymore overnight visits except for the already standing 2 weekends a month. The schedule is crazy. The exwife is crazy. She teaches the children it is ok to lie to us. She is NOT supportative of myself or my husband. She has harrassed us to the point that she is not allowed on our property, she can not contact us by phone, she may only communicate via email, unless it is an emergency related to that day's schedule, then she may leave a message on our cell phone. She would call my husband at work and pull him out of meetings with the CEO of the company for some nonsense question. HE would get numerous calls on a daily basis. I never saw 2 divorced people talk on a daily basis. We have insulated ourselves as much as possible but everyday there is some new issue. She never returns clothes that the kids wear over there, one day she sent my ss home with no shoes on. She won't take the kids to baseball games and then tells them we did not give her the information. I could go on and on. But your words say it best I HATE HER!!!!! If I had hindsight my posting would be alot differnt. I would be like that one woman who used to be involved with a man with children. Trying being involved with a man who has custody of his children. The rewards have been few and far between. I have lived this from the first day I moved to where my husband lives (I moved from a different state). So the entire two years of my marriage have been filled with this crap. My husband's relationship with his children has also suffered terribly. I was divorced for 11yrs before I remarried and never experienced one ounce of the trouble I have in this life, and it isn't even my divorce. The best advice I can give you is stand your ground. Say NO, she is responsible for her custodial time. It took my husband a long time to be able to say no, it is very easy for me. I know that he is still uncomfortable with saying no but I help him, Remember you can't let her control your life. Good luck, God Bless. I understand, it's one hell of a way to live.

Not sure if I can be of alot of help, but will try and lend what I can. My daughter lived with her dad for approx. 4 years, and I recieved custody back 3 yrs. ago. (by the way the reason I let dad have residential custody because at time I thought it was in her best interest- but later found out how very wrong I was!) Anyways, not sure if you are trying to get custody or just protect the best interset of your SD...but my advice is to document EVERYTHING!!! Write down the clothes she comes in and if they fit or not (perhaps even take a photo). If you call her and she explodes into a RAGE- write it down and what was sd. (i would suggest taping your telephone conversations-but don't think that is admissable in court if both parties don't know their being taped). If you and hubby take her for a haircut or for shots- write it down. Don't forget dates. Also if it is something that you think is very serious and harmful- there is always Child Protective Services. Call them and you can make an anonymous report and they need to investigate it. If this is something you want to pursue through the family court- then go ahead. But unfortunately it is very expensive to hire a lawyer to pursue something. I paid over $6,000 to get my daughter back- but best money I ever spent! I do feel for you and will keep you in my thoughts. We have LOTS of problems with my hubby's EX- she is like you sd- swears and is totally unreasonable about everything! It's very frustrating! Try your best to be there for your SD and let her know you and BH are always there for her if she ever needs anything or just to talk. Sounds as if the poor thing has no stability at home. Hugs to you.

Oh my. This is such sad news. My condolences to her family. Nita did have warm and huge hugs and she shared them with many people. I believe her heart was just as loving and large as her hugs. May she continue her adventures as an angel. She inspired me to hold a gathering during her visit to Alabama many years ago and I met her and Bobby. That gathering was responsible for several long-time relationships that I hold dear. Thank you Nita and goodbye.