No, it isn't something I need to do. I have no one to hide from but myself! But I know it is common. My ex used to hide gun purchases and the cost of hunting trips and fudge on a lot of things. I guess he felt that was how spouses deal with each other regarding purchases that are obviously self-centered. I hated it and it set up a poor environment for trust on a lot of other levels in our marriage.

I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about buying. Aren't you purchasing things that will result in a pleasurable dining experience for your family?

What Eileen said...

These are, you know... small expenditures. Unless your family is on an extremely tight budget, they don't have much of an impact. Ask yourself if you really need to hide them.
Openness and honesty are more important than avoiding hearing "What did you buy that for?" and feeling guilty may be telling you that. I would not feel guilty about the purchases themselves though.

Okay, you got me. Although as a compromise, before I brought out my haul, I cleaned out one of my kitchen cupboards. I got an eyeroll, as I was cleaning my stuff. I barely felt it. Done. The mop came in last night because I was excited about it. No, the things I felt shame in came in at no more than $35. Super good deal on most of it. Can't wait to make some cute things. As long as there is room for my stuff I don't think he really cares what I get. It's just such silly stuff though that really isn't necessary.

Well, Like Eileen I have no one to feel guilty to or is that for?
But when I did I would just fess up right off the bat!
I still remember one sterling salad set...fork and spoon salad servers and tossers. they were an incredibly good deal but my husband didn't seem to think we needed them. I felt guilty for a while, but then realized we used them every night...and when I have a bowl of salad I still use them. On a per use basis they cost about $.01.
But I will feel guilt to myself. Earlier in the summer I had a lot of bracelet guilt...I got started buying silver bangles on eBay and couldn't seem to stop!!
Don't feel shame over a $36 purchase....what would a fast food dinner and a movie cost?
Linda C

The first step is knowing you have a problem. :-)

Jim

Since I hate shopping for the most part, and am pretty much a spendthrift, I rarely feel guilty for spending money, cause I usually only buy things we need. I don't have space for stuff, so even if there's a gadget I want, I have to ask myself where I'm going to put it. However, I've recently started to go to estate sales more often, and that's where I tend to lose control. Not kitchen related, but I bought a piece of pottery at a recent estate sale that was just so beautiful, and priced very well, I couldn't resist it. But before buying it, I called DH and told him about it and asked his opinion. He agreed it was a good purchase, so I bought it. I still feel a little guilty over that, but not too guilty. I did resist the bread machine that's that brand that starts with a Z, (I can never remember that name or how to spell it), because I just couldn't justify the space it would take up. Sometimes I regret that decision, since they were only asking $50, but there just isn't space for it.

As for hiding purchases, I've known of people that do it, but I don't feel the need to do that, unless it's a surprise gift, of course.

Sally

Sally, just call the bread machine a Zo. I have one and that's what I do.

Luckily we can afford most everything we want. This past week we went to St. Augustine for lunch then over to the outlets. My husband knows I hate to shop. He said he was happy I bought something other than "just basics". There was this intense blue cotton jacket that fit just right. It will be great whenever fall/winter come to FL. I'm waiting for a change of season. Ma Nature, are you listening? Tapping foot.

You can't come to New York.

Within 30 minutes from me, six, seven major supermarkets, Three Trader Joes, two craft stores each about half of a football field size, and a place called Chef Central that's about half of an acre big, where you name it they got it, everything for the kitchen, dinning room and BBQ.

Oh, Japanese store, Two big Chinese stores, Little India (Jackson Heights) 30 minutes away, all kinds of Spanish shops------.

dcarch

dcarch, you are a wonderful addition to this site. However, nothing but nothing would entice me to go to NYC. I don't care how much is around you. It reveals just how much population is there too!

My ex-husband wins the prize for Best Hiding of a Purchase. He bought an airplane and hid it from me. No lie.

Personally, I don't like "stuff." I have no one to hide things from, but clutter makes me crazy. I definitely have too many shoes, though.

Cookie:
Go out again and by some more but not as much.

Then you will forget about the first purchase.
You can praise yourself for not spending much.
Especially if you use a Credit Card. That don't count as spending.
You don't have to feel guilty about treating yourself, to things that you will use.

Just tell your husband you bought them for him too.
You felt like treating him ,
for being such a good husband.
LOU

"Posted by beachlily ---------However, nothing but nothing would entice me to go to NYC. I don't care how much is around you. It reveals just how much population is there too! "

And I don't blame you.

Two things happened today after work.

I went to a supermarket. A lady had to park her cart in the middle of the aisle. I asked if she would move a little so that I could pass. She said in an annoying tone," CanÂt you wait a few seconds? I was here first."

Then I went to a store to buy a plate. At the check out place, there was only one cashier and there were five cash registers. There was only one customer checking out. The area was zigzag roped four times for customers to line up. Being there was only one customer there I just walked right to the cashier behind that customer.
"Sir, you have to go back to the front and take a number and wait there until you are called."
"You are kidding, right?"
"No. Sir, this is the way it works here."
I squabbled with her a few rounds. I didnÂt bother to call the manager and walked out without the plate.

You do need to have a different attitude to live here. :-)

dcarch

I sometimes feel guilty if I know I didn't need it that much. I try not to buy anything for the kitchen until I've noticed a repeated need for it. Other stuff tends to sit around and then get thrown out. If I had more space and more money, I might feel differently. As it is, my impulse purchases tend to take place at the grocery store :-)

My impulse kitchen purchases often come from the kitchen gadget shelf at the thrift store. Grins. Sometimes Marshall's. I'm out of room, too, for anything new. I'm starting to weed things out. I sent a lot of things to new homes at a garage sale on Labor Day. I don't miss a thing! Lots more to go.

There's no problem here with my buying, although during the remodel clean-out DH did mention that many of my "good buys" had ended up in the give away pile...
My method is to buy something and then tell him how he's going to benefit! My trade-off for some appliance that I wanted in the kitchen remodel was buying him a water chiller plumbed into the sink. He adores it and tells everyone how I bought it for him! So you see, I got a new kitchen and he got a chiller!! LOL

Nope, no problem with me buying either. Of course, I hate to shop, so there's not much buying and I'm completely out of room in my small house. Any extra cash right now is going for Amanda's wedding, that doesn't take up any room in my cabinets, LOL.

Elery? He's the kitchen gadget shopper. He bought the panini press, the instant pressurized marinator, the cherry pitter, the smoker. I did buy him the sausage grinder and the pasta press for birthday and Christmas gifts.

Annie

I'm all clear. I used everything in one day (yesterday). Besides my loaf pans at $1.50/piece are so cute, it was all worth it!
Sorry can't find the directions to post the picture directly on the screen. (hint hint to anyone who has some spare time)

Here is a link that might be useful:

Cookie, good for you! You didn't do anything wrong, except not fessing up right away--it wasn't much. Bet your husband didn't even notice. Enjoy, don't stress!

I love those little pans!

I would not feel guilty. Especially if you both work. A number of years ago I was engaged to a guy that suggested that I turn over my paychecks so that he could manage the money. I said to him - I bought a new car last year and paid cash. I bought a condo when I was 22. You are 31, rent an apt. and have a huge car payment and large credit card balances. I'm managing my money just fine thank you.

Needless to say I let that one go!

Cookie8
I've been thinking about this Post and it has kept coming back to haunt me.

I would have been married 55years.
We never had problems with either of us buying things.

If my wife over did it,spending she would rest her chin on her hand while sitting at the table and
flutter her eyes.

I would call her a Drip Face and she called me a S#!~ head.

It was over !!!

If you have a good relationship, there is no need to keep things; you buy, a secret.

Just be open and don't be influenced by others who may have had bad experiences.

Of course you can keep their problems in your minds PC.

Just flutter your eyes, if you did over spend,a little ???
( in your mind ).

If you still think you did ,
Do something good for someone that day and
Have a good one ,
LOU

Oh Lou. What a sweet post. I've been married 31 years and I agree. Keeping some secrets hurts the trust. I think money secrets is one of them.

Cookie-Examine why you feel guilty. It was a smart buying decision. If you feel bad, do you not have the money? Do you feel you can't make that kind of decision without clearance from your DH?

I loved your comments about heading to the shower afterwards. I recognize that one. I sometimes just putter in a store to look at things but don't buy. It's the hunt I enjoy the most. Not necessarily the acquisition.

We all make decisions from time to time that we have second thoughts about. Its human nature. Just fess up and move on!

Jean

Cookie's cute pans!

{{gwi:1561295}}

Those are cute pans! I'm like jessicavanderhoff, in that my weakness is the grocery store, especially places like Whole Foods. I made the mistake of going here the other day while hungry. NEVER do that. $160 + later, I made my way home. I did fess up to DH, but he was too busy stuffing some of the cheese I bought in his face to get mad. lol

OT. A nice thing happened to me at Whole Foods on that trip. One of the things I needed was dried cranberries, and we like their bulk dried cranberries. They were completely out, other than little pre-packaged specialty dried cranberries at about twice the price of the bulk. The grocer, after looking and not finding any more of the bulk cranberries, asked me which of the specialty cranberries I would like. I picked one out, and he stuck a sample sticker on it. This was about a $6.00, 8 oz. package. I thought he might write on there 1/2 off or something, but he gave them to me free. I know they're a very expensive store, but still, I thought that was a nice thing to do.

Sally

Cookie,

Man you crack me up. Good thing you're so cute, cause it's easier to forgive you for buying all this cr*p.

Demo.
ps. next time...don't leave your threads on your computer.

LOL BUSTED ....

That's funny...

Yup, busted. And that IS funny.

Or did Cookie leave it up on purpose, a not quite accidental "confession". LOL This could get to be a mystery!

Oh, and I really like those cute little loaf pans!

Annie

I love those pans! This reminds me of Lucy! Of course her strategy was to put it in the closet and not wear it for a while and then when she did and Ricky asked if it was new, she'd say, "No, it's been in the closet for months!"

Shopping for kitchen stuff (and floor care stuff, the most exciting thing on your list to me was the steam mop LOL) is SOOOOO much better than shopping for clothes.... I hate trying them on too!

Something similar happened on the quilting forum a few months ago. It's been a while since I read it, but I'll try to remember. A lady bought an expensive long arm quilting sewing machine... she brought it in and put it in her sewing room. Husband didn't notice and she was scared to tell him because she didn't know how he would react. One night right after dinner, she confessed... he stood up from the table, kissed her on the cheek, said, "Good for you" and went on about his business. It was great! All that stress for nothing!

Kitchen toys are usually less expensive than power tools or lawn tractors anyway, so no reason to feel guilty! :o)

I don't show DH anything I buy anymore; but I don't hide anything either.
He used to have a blank look when I showed him stuff, so I just don't.

I don't know about other areas, but here in NY in the past few years, I have noticed these mini rental storage facilities everywhere.

I figured that:

1. The Antique Road Show must have encouraged people to save everything.

2. With shopping so easy on-line, people must be buying too many things they don't need.

dcarch

How funny! An interesting way to confess!

Sally

Oh, and Demo? Welcome to the Cooking Forum!

Annie

I leave my threads open all the time! The title must have caught his eye. I always close my secret website though- ha ha. Who I really want to hide this from is my 9 yr old who wants everything under the sun. I am forever lecturing him about not caving to whims, wanting so much, waiting it out, etc. BTW, am still making use of all my purchases! And, if prying eyes come again - I really don't want the mini gravy boats, it was just an impulse want and am over it.

Demo's the husband?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Ha.

HA!!

I want those mini ceramic loaf pans. Where did you buy them! Mini gravy boats I can live without, too.

I got them from Michaels craft store for $1.50 each. They are probably even cheaper in the US. The mini gravy boats were super cute though BUT no way would one of them hold enough sauce that I would need. I love gravies and sauces.