If the roots can grow deep then they can get down where the moisture fluctuates less. If one waters them constantly from the beginning the roots stay near the soil surface where it is more prone to drying out. So the idea is to water to get them going well, get water deep (if it isnt already there) and encourage roots to grow down to find that water once established by actually cutting back on watering. Too get water "deep" (if it isnt already) water for long periods but less frequently vs watering for short periods more frequently. Drip or soaker hoses are a good way to do this and prevent run off. Leave the hose on for several hours or if it has been dry over the past year leave it on overnight at a low pressure so water goes deep. When you consider only watering this way 1-2x in the early season vs 15-30 minutes each week over an entire season - it is actually using less water. Mulching is still important. Dry land farming I think (and so do others) produces better flavored tomatoes. It definitely makes a difference with melons if you have the right soil conditions.

I'm so sorry for the pain you still are experiencing. How did you deal with your loss at the time it happened? I wonder if you didn't deal with it at all and maybe that is why it still hurts so much? I really can't say, just a thought. If that is the case you may need counseling to help you and you may have to approach it as if it just happened? Regardless, I hope you find your peace somehow. My Dad died 8 years ago from the complications of Alzheimer's and, like cancer, that is a horrible, horrible ending. By the time of his death he couldn't communicate with us, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything but lay there and make a constant noise that I can't even describe. My husband's death was sudden and unexpected and I have to say that I am glad he didn't suffer for long if at all. I just had a thought: why don't you see if in your community there is a bereavement group that meets. Usually there is a contact and you could maybe call and see if they think it would be ok for you to come even though it has been a while since your loss. After all, there really is no end to a loss, is there? It's pretty much there forever. Good luck to you -

missingtheobvious is correct. In New York, the supreme court is the court of general jurisdiction that hears cases. It is the opposite of most states and the opposite of the federal court system. I have a law degree but don't practice law and am not well versed in estate law. THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE. However, as far as I know, she can't come after you personally. She can only make a claim on the estate. I believe if the estate is probated already and sufficient time has passed without her making a claim on the estate, she is out of luck. See e.g. http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/nycode/SCP/18 § 1802. Effect of failure to present claim If any claim is not presented on or before the day fixed in the notice published pursuant to the preceding section or if no notice is so published, within 7 months from the date of issue of letters, the fiduciary shall not be chargeable for any assets or moneys that he may have paid in good faith in satisfaction of any lawful claims or of any legacies or distributions to the legatees or distributees of the decedent before such claim was presented. Such 7 month period shall begin on the date letters were first issued to any fiduciary, including a temporary administrator or a preliminary executor, and shall not be interrupted by any subsequent issue of letters, except that the time during which there is no fiduciary in office shall not be counted as part of such period. and § 1803: Every claim against the estate of a decedent other than claims for expenses of administration and claims of the United States or the state of New York must be in writing, contain a statement of the facts upon which it is based and the amount thereof. In addition the fiduciary may require the claimant to present proof by affidavit that the amount of the claim is justly due, that all payments thereon, if any, have been credited, that the claimant knows of no offsets and no evidence of indebtedness and holds no security, except as specifically described in the affidavit.

The problem is always trying to find the answer to who is right and who is wrong. The "right thing to do", if what you are looking to do is improve your relationships is to stop trying to make everything so black and white. Sometimes you are right, sometimes somebody else is right. That is the nature of relationships. Unfortunately, if you can't get past all of the percieved wrongs somebody else has done to you, you will not move on and your relationship will not change. Thurman is on here seeking advice, but everytime he gets advice that he doesn't want to hear, he ignores it. If he would try to get past whatever beef he has with his SD and if he starts to see her as she truly is, he would be much better off, and so would she. It doesn't matter what she does, in Thurman's eyes, it is never right. If she did something nice for Thurman, he would view it as being underhanded and for some alternative purpose. Colleen...I agree with kkny and finedreams that anybody who wants to send a card and to whomever, it's nobody's business exept for the sender and the reciever. So, if you sent a nice card to you SD's inlaws and she blew up at you over that and only that (and nothing else), then you are right and she is wrong. However, what difference does that really make? Why dwell on that? Why not try to move forward and try to make the relationship better instead of focusing on who is right or wrong?