OH my gosh! I just saw this thread and I posted a story over in Stacy's thread that would have been perfect for your thread!

The most exciting thing that ever happened to me was for a progressive dinner. It was when we first moved to where we live now - and the community had this newcomers organization that sponsored this. With some reluctance after several years of not participating in this I went out on a limb and agreed to host a main course. This was kind of a big deal - lots of people would quickly volunteer to have salad - since it's so easy and you don't have timing issues.

So anyway, I decided on this stuffed halibut that I'd never made before. First problem was determining that there was no way my halibut was thick enough to stuff - second problem was figuring out how to whack the skin off of it. Third problem was that the drain on my new kitchen sink started leaking profusely as I was preparing for the dinner in the afternoon. Then as I was dealing with that, DH says - what's that gawd-awful fish smell. By this time my confidence was shattered but I was stuck so I finished up the prep and headed out for the first courses of the dinner.

By the time we got back to our house I was more relaxed about the whole ordeal - probably thanks to a couple glasses of wine. So I'm getting the fish in oven and hoping to heck I'll be able to figure out when it's done - I didn't cook much fish back then and wasn't exactly sure how to tell. We're all standing around having more wine and waiting for the fish to cook - and the electricity went out. We scurried around to find more candles and flashlights - including one for me to shine on the fish to see if it was done. Of course my oven has now shut down and the fish is just cooking on whatever warmth is quickly dissipating from the oven.

Somehow the fish managed to be done perfectly - with stuffing sitting in between two slabs of halibut laying side by side - and it was all a big hit. It was quite fun and memorable in the end but I had a major anxiety attack early on. I hadn't done much of anything like this before and there were some "hoity-toity" people I didn't know coming to this thing. Ever since then though - I'm really not afraid to try new things when entertaining - if that could work out anything could.

The only other interesting thing that's happened was one year when we cooked our TG turkey on the grill - and it was done - and black - two hours before anyone arrived. That all turned out fine too - and again a very memorable TG - it was all just family though so not as much at stake.

I was in my early 20s and had moved to a new area, joined a new church and wanted to impress these new friends. I was having a training meeting at my house and had prepared a table filled with finger foods and desserts. Everyone loved the gingerbread. I was thrilled that everyone liked it and wanted to know how it was made. It was a recipe that came with my Oster Blender and I meant to saw that it was a "blender batter". Instead I announced to a roomfull of my new church friends that it was a "bladder blender".

It almost was - by the time people stopped laughing.

Back when the earth was still cooling we belonged to a science fiction club which often played hosts to fellow club members from interstate and overseas. I invited one visitor from England for dinner one night, in the very early days of microwaves (and we didn't have one).
About an hour before he was due to arrive I realised I had not defrosted the leg of lamb planned for dinner, and by this time the shops were shut and I had no chance of replacing it with anything else (we had early closing times then, not that they're much better now). In a panic I raced across the street to a neighbour's who had a microwave, explained the crisis and asked her to defrost the roast for me. She defrosted it and brought it back for seasoning etc, before taking it back to her place to get it started on cooking in the microwave, before bringing it back again so I could finish it off in the oven. It turned out delicious!
And I was soooooooooo glad I didn't decide to go for the possible option of pork chops which were also in the freezer (and packed for quick defrosting), because halfway through the dinner it turned out he was Jewish! Obviously he didn't keep kosher but I would have felt very uncomfortable giving him pork chops, even if he was gracious enough to eat them. I hadn't asked because it's not often an issue here, there are very few Jewish people.
I'm not sure if that was the same dinner where I set the cheese croutons for the French onion soup on fire (twice :-) ), but it was the same house.

Well....which nightmare do you want?
One time I was having a surprise birthday party for a friend and decided to have a sit down dinner for 28 to 30.....with cloths, stemmed goblets, wines...the whole 9 yards. Don't remember what I served, because it was the setting of the tables that did me in!...I sprained my ankle very very badly a few days before...And I am sure the trouble I have with that ankle to this day is from hobbling around on it when I should have been sitting with an ice bag.

Then there was the time I was having the group of 10 for potluck at my house...I had made the main course and people brough appetizers, veggie, salad and dessert. Just before they were due to arrive I did a load of dishes and water poured out of the dish washer....the drain was plugged....and the vinyl tiles on the floor started buckling.....and when you stepped on them they broke!
I called Roto-rooter....put the bar out on the deck ( thankfully it was summer!) and said we're not serving dinner until the rotorooter man has come and gone!....and we ate all the appetizers....so I went to the larder and made a quick dip out of something and got out some cheese...and I said...please have another drink....
Finally the Roto-rooter guy came and went and we ate and no one fell asleep on the table!
Then there was the time the toddler turned down the oven where the Christmas turkey was supposedly cooking. That was my introduction to high heat turkey cooking!
Linda C

One of the first times in our marriage that my in-laws came to visit, I'd planned to make one of my best meals - roast beef in the Crock-Pot. My MIL is a great cook, so my DH had suggested that as a good meal idea.

We went off for the day, I turned on the Crock Pot. When I got home, the roast was not even cooking - I'd forgotten to plug the darned thing in!!!

My MIL chuckled a little, said she'd done similar in her day, and suggested that I cook it in the pressure cooker. Mind you, she does not like or use a pressure cooker. But my FIL loved the roast that came out of there.

DonnaR/CA

Ladies those stories have literally cracked me up, I have been in a lot of tough situations but no real cooking stories but a few and they really don't compare to what you went through, but here is one.

I had my son for thanksgiving (separated) when he was 3 yrs old. Wewere talking and he asked me if I was going to cook a turkey and he was excited about it, so I said sure!
Biggest thing I had ever cooked by myself was fried chicken (I think) at that point and very little else actually.

Anyway we drove up to this "Turkey Farm" and bought a turkey that was picked and read to go! I asked them what temperature to cook it at and they said 325 deg, OK!
Next morning I got up put some salt and pepper on the bird (I saw my mom do it) and stuck it in the oven, I was real proud of myself, "easy peasy" I thought!!
We then went to a local park and he played on the slides and things, then I went to a local grocery and bought some ready made stuffing/mashed potatoes/etc,. Then we went home, this was 2 maybe 3 hours later.
I expected to smell turkey cooking smell, but there was hardly any, I stuck the temp probe in like they said and it wasn't even close. so I just let it keep cooking! Remember I had never even roasted a chicken at this point.

Through out the day I kept sticking that bird with the Temp gage and it was making ground but VERY slowly, to me. Around 5/6:00 my neighbor came over to see how I had done, I told her it was a big turkey and it wasn't done! She said, didn't you put it in this morning, yes, well somethings wrong (8/9 hours)! So I took the turkey over to her house and she cooked it that night, she also made my son and me these huge plates of "EVERYTHING", it was awesome!
Turned out the heating element in the stove was collapsed and had broken about 3/4 in half, this wasn't allowing the proper voltage through!!!!!!!
If not for her it would have been a disaster sure enough.

The following year My son and I was invited over to some friends for thanksgiving, when the lady asked him how was the turkey he just calmly said, GREAT, I was really scared dad was going to cook that turkey like last year, LOL!!!!

I've had very few entertaining nightmares and all have been minor. But a friend of mine had a MAJOR problem when she threw a rather large house warming party.

They were nearing the conclusion of a major gut on a huge early 1900s farmhouse, I'd say probably a 2 year job. She decided to throw a huge house warming party and even had a party co-ordinator. I'm not sure what the co-ordinator did because she was stripping me of ideas for at least 2 months.

But any how the day before the party we had a major storm roll in and I can't quite remember if the storm knocked the power out or if there was an car accident. But any who she had no power for the party and being we are all on well water out here, she had no water and therefore no bathrooms either.

I remember the Port-a-Potties all lined up behind the barn which was a distance from the house but not too inconvenient. We had power/water so I bought as many containers of water as I could. But the weather was gorgeous as was her home and party went on without a hitch and all had a great time.

Michelle

Thanksgiving 2004!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Perfectly beautiful morning. I am in the kitchen and everything is going like clockwork. We were expecting 24 for dinner at 1:00. DH was out shoveling off the drive about 10:00 A.M. He looks up and several cops are running up the street towards him with their guns drawn and are motioning for him to get inside.

He comes running inside and grabs his police radio. The first thing we hear is that they have set up a perimeter all around our cul-de-sac. Then we hear the first of all the gun fire. So we are in the kitchen on our knees praying literally and basting turkey at the same time. Then we hear the automatic gunfire. By this time, I was in tears as we listened to DH's police radio.

Our newest neighbor's ex-boyfriend had broken into her house and shot and killed her 24 y/o son who was home on leave from Iraq. The ex tried to escape with her in the car and that is what the second gunfire was from. Within minutes the police were at our door making sure that we were all right, since this happend in front of our home.

So now our street is cordoned off and we have 24 people already on the road to our home. Doorbell rings again, another cop ask what our plans are for Thanksgiving. We tell him that we are expecting company. He looks at his watch and then looks down our street and says that they would figure out a way to get everyone here. So DH gets on one phone and I on another to let everyone know that we are OK because by this time it is all over the news.

OK, so now I am an hour behind schedule and still shaking like a leaf. Somehow, I pulled it all together and got dinner ready and the police escorted everyone of our guests through our backyard from a street over.

Our dinner was only a half hour late. I don't remember eating a thing that day. There was one detective that kept coming back to our home about every 45 minutes. Just making sure that we were ok. We ended up sending all the extras to all the cops that were working the scene.

So, succesful dinner, but tragic day that will never be forgotten. It is the day we found out that it doesn't matter how good of a neighborhood you live in, violence can find its way to your front door.

Linda

Well, I certainly don't have any mishaps that come close to Linda's! The worst disaster at a dinner party I gave was at Christmas dinner about 12 years ago. We had about 15 family members over. It was my nieces first Christmas and she spent most of dinner screaming at the top of her lungs. After I finished eating I told my SIL to give her to me so she could finish eating. About 2 minutes later she spit up the entire bottle she had before dinner all over the living room carpet. I got out my carpet cleaner (my son was about 5 so I needed one!) and cleaned the carpet, then I went to put away left overs and wash the dishes. When I was putting the glasses away in the cabinet the top shelf broke, when it landed on the second shelf that broke too. Every glass, mug and china plate in the house shattered on the kitchen floor. So after sweepning and vaccuuming the kitchen I finally put out dessert, after my husband ran to White Hen and begged for some paper coffee cups. Everyone thought the meal was great, they also said it was a very entertaining evening.

OMG, Linda, what a horrifying mess!! Nobody could top your tale, but here's one on a little lighter note...

I was (very) newly-married and couldn't cook a lick. DH invited best friend and his wife to dinner without consulting me first. I wasn't mad -- just in a mild panic, because I knew she was a great cook and I was so afraid of letting the 'home team' down.

Well, as it happened, I'd gone to the fishmonger's the week before and bought some catfish fillets. (Yes, I'm that old. When I was a bride, grocery stores didn't even have seafood counters.) DH was dynamite on the grill and really good at frying things also. He'd battered and fried the catfish, and it was superb. Sensing my fear, he said not to worry, he'd do fried catfish again, knowing his friends loved it. Whew!

We decided we didn't need to buy anymore. The fish had been wrapped in two packages of equal size. We'd eaten two meals from one, with some left over, and the second package was in the freezer, so it should be plenty for 4. I took it out that morning to thaw. But when I unwrapped it about 15 minutes before our guests arrived, to my absolute horror all it contained was fish bones! I'm proud to say DH rose to the occasion and immediately went flying to the store to pick up some steaks and baking potatoes. Dinner was delicious, and nobody was the wiser. But, oh, how my heart was pounding! A rough start as a hostess...

I went to the seafood place the next day in an absolute fury. Their explanation? They always included the bones in a separate package so customers would know they were getting their money's worth by weight. Sheesh! Could they have mentioned that?!?

sm

Every time I tried to cook for the In-Laws something bad would happen. There was the time the duck I was making exploded. The recipe said to cook for so long, then prick the skin to release fat and continue to cook. I guess I cut too deep because juices ran out of the duck into the pan of hot fat, which errupted like Vesuvius into the GAS OVEN. Can you say fireball?

Then we decided to use the Ronco Rotisserie to cook a small turkey. Somehow we did something wrong converting the weight from metric to imperial when figuring the cooking time. That sucker crunched when we cut it ROFLMAO! My FIL, bless his heart, took a big forkful of that bone-dry and crackling bird and was about to put it in his mouth when I screamed "PUT SOME GRAVY ON THAT!". I was horrified that he might choke to death LOLOLOL.

Eventually I could manage a dinner with no mishaps, but by then they had already decided I could not cook and I am pretty sure ate before they came.

Oh, I have one more to share. I'd almost forgotten the first year I was the "official" cook for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. For several years before, I'd been helping my mother with the holiday rituals she'd previously insisted on doing
all by herself. But she was finally forced to give it up.

Sooo... I went into a frenzy, determined as hell that nobody at the table would be able to make unfavorable comparisons between my mother's fabulous holiday parties and mine. I polished silver, I ironed antique linens, I scrubbed the baseboards, I washed the windows inside and out. In short, I went bananas. I'm embarrassed to say that I even went so far as to paint the living room and dining room. (Well, actually I didn't paint them. I made my teen-aged sons do it.)

So Feast Day finally arrived. The pies were made. Amazingly, everything was cooking on schedule. I proudly carried the beautifully-browned bird into the dining room for carving.

Something was wrong, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. The silver gleamed. The crystal shone. The food looked fabulous. BUT.. Suddenly I realized what it was, and I absolutely howled with laughter. In protest of their 'forced labor', my kids had placed a paint bucket under each silver candelabra on the sideboard. Oh, I laughed for days........

Oh, I have one more to share. I'd almost forgotten the first year I was the "official" cook for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. For several years before, I'd been helping my mother with the holiday rituals she'd previously insisted on doing
all by herself. But she was finally forced to give it up.

Sooo... I went into a frenzy, determined as hell that nobody at the table would be able to make unfavorable comparisons between my mother's fabulous holiday parties and mine. I polished silver, I ironed antique linens, I scrubbed the baseboards, I washed the windows inside and out. In short, I went bananas. I'm embarrassed to say that I even went so far as to paint the living room and dining room. (Well, actually I didn't paint them. I made my teen-aged sons do it.)

So Feast Day finally arrived. The pies were made. Amazingly, everything was cooking on schedule. I proudly carried the beautifully-browned bird into the dining room for carving.

Something was wrong, but I just couldn't put my finger on it. The silver gleamed. The crystal shone. The food looked fabulous. BUT.. Suddenly I realized what it was, and I absolutely howled with laughter. In protest of their 'forced labor', my kids had placed a paint bucket under each silver candelabra on the sideboard. Oh, I laughed for days........

Christmas of 2005 I volunteered to do The Dinner for 10 extended adult family members; I planned a relatively simple meal & it should have been a breeze. Christmas morning, DH's nephew decides that his vegan girlfriend can join us after all - terrific, I'm serving tenderloin & the stores are closed so where do I get vegan food for someone I've never met. SIL saved the day by bringing trophy sized shrimp for appetizers & we saved some for her entree. First crisis averted. Then everyone (except me & SIL who are scurrying like rats to get food ready) are in the greatroom/kitchen drinking, eating shrimp & opening presents & DH cuts his finger on a new pocket knife. Blood is flying & about the same time, a bowl of vinagrette gets knocked out of the frig sending an oily mess everywhere. Finally, dinner is ready & everyone is seated. I plated & served the 1st course of oyster stew with the last 2 bowls given to an elderly lady & myself. I guess most of the pepper had settled to the bottom of the pot & we got the dregs; she choked on the pepper & had a huge coughing spell. Next, the entree was put on the table & it wasn't until later that I realized that I placed a huge platter of very rare tenderloin directly in front of the vegan! In the meantime, I went to pour red wine only to find that DH & his BIL had drunk all except 1 bottle of the good stuff, leaving the rest of us with an amount equal to communion. We decided to take a break before dessert & DH went to the basement to feed the dogs while everyone was settling in the living area. We waited, & waited, & he didn't come back. Finally, I went downstairs & found out that he had passed out on the couch & was dead to the world.

That was the last time I've done Christmas Dinner for a crowd. I have no plans for future Yule festivities for this bunch, either.

I just remembered: on his way out, BIL missed the step down to the public sidewalk & broke a bottle of port.

Another young bride story. I invited about 20 friends over for a New Year's Eve party, and set out an elaborate buffet of meats, cheeses, breads, spreads, and savories. We lived in an 8th floor walkup loft on the Bowery in NYC, very hip because this was 1969. We thought our fluorescent shoplight lighting fixtures were hip, too, until someone opened the first bottle of champagne, and the cork flew off and shattered that fluorescent tube into a zillion pieces that sprinkled down on my lovely buffet. Instead of eating, we just drank.

I'm curious, antique silver- did the vegan eat the shrimp? Vegans don't eat any animal or seafood products at all, no dairy, no eggs. Vegetarians generally eat dairy and eggs, but neither should be eating seafood.

Well, summer before last I hosted the Cooking Forum Canny Camp, where Master Canners KatieC from Idaho and Annie from Michigan taught everyone how to can. Mind you, there were a lot of cooking forum people here, some spending the night. Well, first morning of camp, hubby tells me, "tell your guests that they can't use the toilet. The septic tank is full." I was furious cause I told him I thought we needed it pumped a month before and he didn't believe me and didn't get it done. Then I was in tears. How can I tell my guests that can't use my toilet. What are they suppoed to do? Well, luckily, even though it was a Saturday, hubby managed to get someone to come and pump (of course, at time and a half) and all was well. But, that was a real near disaster.

The other time I was hosting the County Manufacturing Council board to a brunch at my house. (I was the prez, and liked to cook for others)As I took the oven baked maple french toast casserole out of the oven, it slid out of my hands and smashed all over the floor. Thank goodness I had a savory casserole and other stuff as well, so there was still enough food. But it was embarrassing, not to mention I found glass clear around the corner into the next room, and kept finding othr little pieces of glass for weeks.

Then there was my very first deep dish apple pie as a teenage bride. (It was a frozen pie, I did not know how to cook anything). I took it out of the oven, and immediately dropped it upside-down onto the oven door. I cried for hours. Hubby cleaned it up.

Way back in the happily married days, ex invited one of his law firm partners and his wife to dinner. I made piles of steamed clams, fresh bread, pasta with pesto, and a green salad for our dinner. The wife was thrilled and dug in happily. Her husband politely ate everything but the clams. I had no idea he was a fussy eater and was strictly a meat and 'taters man. I wish I'd known! I might have still served clams but I'd have had something for him as well. His wife just ate his share!

Another time I'd invited two families to Sunday brunch and was up early and busy making quiches. I'd made the crusts and was making the filling. The oven was on. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bright flicker in the oven through the glass door. My heating element was on fire! I tried turning it off at the breaker outside with no luck. I tried my tiny fire extinguisher, nothing, still burning white hot. At this point I called the fire department. 3 ladder trucks responded to my little oven flame. My kitchen and quiche crusts were covered with extinguisher powder when they were done. We went out to eat that morning...

The stories are terrific and getting better and better...:)

Colleenoz,
I guess she's a reformed vegan; she ate the shrimp & since then she's brought frozen fish if she comes to my house. She's very nice, but a PITA to cook for if I don't know she's coming - & she loves to comes to my house when she's in town! Go figure. We usually serve oil/vinegar on most salads & she'd never had that before; doesn't particularily like it or green salads in general - or veggies. Likes pasta, alcohol, & desserts. I guess I might understand the salad thing if it had been AFTER the time I served a bagged mix & a worm appeared in her dish, but she didn't really care for it (the salad, not the worm) before that either!

Years ago shortly after we got married, my wife's parents came to visit. Since they were coming from Maine, they decided to stop on the way to the airport and pick up 4 lobsters as a suprise treat.

We were suprised all right. Having never made lobster before, we didn't have any pot large enough to fit four lobsters. In fact our largest stock pot completely filled would barely fit one lobster, leaving the last couple of inches of tail sticking up in the air spasming wildly for 5 to 10 seconds, splashing boiling water over all the four of us standing around the stove kibbitzing. So we quickly learned to drop it in and immediately put the lid on and hold it in place until the sounds abated.

Eventually the lobsters were cooked, and the next problem presented itself. We didn't have any lobster crackers, or nut crackers, or pretty much anything to open the darn things. The best I could come up with was one nearly new, fairly clean, pair of pliers from the workbench, which we had to hand around the table. My FIL grew impatient and wrapped his in paper, and headed out to the deck with a claw hammer. He came in and unwrapped it and it looked like it had been run over by a car, and he ended up taking quite a bit longer because he had to keep picking tiny pieces of shell that had been smashed into the meat.

Other than that the rest of their visit went great, but it certainly got off to a bad start.

Well this isn't even a hitch in comparison to some of these great stories but...

When my husband & I moved into our new home he brought his cat & I brought my dog. Everyone played together nicely, even though none of us had any prior experience living with the other. My husband's cat, Suki, was a calm, mature, lovely tuxedo cat and a wonderful introduction to life with a cat in the house. Unfortunately she died suddenly & I told my husband that when he was ready, of course we would get another cat.

Months later- enter Gremlin. A small, grey blur of incessant energy and the need to go vertical whenever possible. A radical change from the noble & refined Suki. I had never lived with a kitten and it was a radical learning curve for me. I learned to keep everything covered or put away, anything fragile or dangling or remotely interesting had to be kept under wraps.

So I was learning. We had invited a friend over for a birthday diner & I baked a beautiful Guinness spice cake. When I took it out of the oven to cool I knew that I had to cover it to keep the Gremlin away but was afraid that if I used a plate the condensation would ruin it. So I used a kitchen towel.

My husband was the one that found Gremlin asleep on top of the warm, towel covered cake.