Mary, you don't want to start with too large a pot. It depends on the size of the citrus tree you start with. If you start with a 1 gal. potted tree, you would want to size up by about 50%. Not more than 100%. Better to re-pot then start with too large a pot. I tend to try to stretch things with my potted plants (non-citrus), basically because I'm a wee bit lazy, and hate repotting :-) So, sometimes I don't always follow that rule, especially if I find just the right decorative pot. Also, I would suggest using the "gritty mix" that is discussed on this forum. If you search for that, you'll see the formula to use, and Mike can get you hooked up with the right components. Again, I tend to be too lazy to make my own mix, and here in S. California, we actually do better with a more moisture retentive mix, so I usually use EB Stone's Cactus Mix. Also, Farfad's has a great line of Professional mixes. Either the Nursery mix or the #3 will also work well (can't find this product in my area anywhere). Make sure your citrus gets lots of sunshine. Water frequently - Mike can give you tips for your area. And fertilize every other month. Foliage Pro is a great choice for container citrus. And I personally prefer Miewa kumquats because the rind is sweeter. I think it's by far the best tasting kumquat. I also have Nagami, and they're probably the most popularly known kumquats, but the skin isn't as sweet, so the overall taste will be more acidic (you eat peel and all with kumquats). Some folks also like the Fukushu kumquat because they say rinds are very tender and sort of melt in your mouth. I personally thought they were a bit acrid, but then, I'm kind of a wimpy citrus lover, I like my citrus on the sweeter side :-) Plus, I like the form of the Meiwa, they're kind of rounder, fatter littler fruits. Very cute. Patty S.

Hi Gertrude, Welcome to RMG! And a "future welcome" to Denver! You're gonna love it! Thanks for telling us about yourself! This is going to be uncharacteristically short for me! I'm sitting in a little cabin in Yellow Jacket, and need to get up early in the morning to pack everything in the car and head for another little cabin on Grand Mesa! But when I read your post I had a whole lot of things to say and will try to quickly hit a few of them now. When you're looking for a house: Try to find out what kind of watering restrictions you might have in summer before you buy so you'll know up front how limited you will or won't be in what you can grow (water)! If you're seriously thinking all xeric, look for a yard with as much sun as possible. Most of the truly xeric perennials don't just want a lot of sun, they NEED it. If you buy a house in one of the "older" Denver neighborhoods, you will almost certainly get a yard that comes with built-in weeds. For instance, many years ago I lived in a house in Park Hill (NW Denver) and had some nasty weed I called "carrot weeds" because of the big, nasty taproots they had. After living there for several years, and constantly "fighting" them, they were still there as big and beautiful (NOT) at ever! Newer houses have had the soil dug up more recently and will often not have the "deeply established" weeds you'll find in the older neighborhoods. Many of the older "original" Denver areas--like the Denver Bungalow areas--will also tend to have smaller yards, but not always. The far south side of Denver, like around Parker and Castle Rock, get more snow--usually--than Denver proper, and the north end of the Metro area. That can be good for moisture, but can be bad for plants that are already growing! Double edged sword! Just thought I'd give you a heads up! There are nice areas all over the Metro area. I recommend if you're considering a specific area you come post and get pros and cons from the folks here about it. We have people who live all over the Metro area. I live on the north end in Thornton, and there are some really nice subdivisions up this way, like the Eastlake areas. Don't have time to post links, but when you're looking for plants I recommend Paulino's for nursery stock--trees and bushes. They still carry a pretty good selection in the nursery. Broadway and about 62nd. For the best selection of perennials, including xeric perennials, Timberline gardens on the far west side of town, at 58th Avenue and about Simms. When planning your yard you might want to consider a smaller area that you'll be watering more often where you can plant things like shasta daisies and such that require more water. That way you can have your cake and eat it too! Mostly xeric, but one spot where you can plant things you really love that need to be watered more often so you don't need to go completely without them. What's your biggest problem gonna be? Soil! Somebody mentioned sand or clay--chances are you'll have some pretty bad clay, but either way you'll need to plan to just keep adding organic matter--year after year after.......... I very highly recommend you plan for a compost pile somewhere in your yard (as opposed to some rinky-dink little store-bought "compost bin"), so you can "grow" your own "organic matter," and, if you build it directly on the ground, grow your own worm supply too! I don't have time to reread all the above, but I think somebody mentioned the awful stuff they bought, and even if you find some "good" stuff to buy, it's not gonna be as good at the stuff you make yourself! Now my questions! Where are you moving from? (If I missed it in your post I'm sorry!) Do you have any idea when? You can definitely "make it" in Denver! It just takes a little "adjusted thinking" if you're from a "wet and humid" place--and be sure to bring your Sense of Humor with you! It helps! And there's always moral support here on RMG! Gotta go, Skybird P.S. Almost forgot this! When you get here and come to a swap I can/will very definitely get you some Ajuga to play with! Two or three kinds! But remind me when you're coming to your first swap! This post was edited by skybird on Sat, May 17, 14 at 2:09

Dementia can be difficult to understand if you've not been close to it before. Hard to evaluate its depth or its practical consequences because of its seemingly infinite number of levels and because its manifestations seem to come and go. And most of the time they look just fine. I've been living for more than a decade with 97-years-young mom. Also knew all of her friends but they're all gone, now. I'm not a professional, but I offer these opinions about your questions..... 1) Yes, correct her...gently and lovingly. In my case, mom asks me what day it is a dozen times a day -- it's no big deal. Main thing is to avoid becoming annoyed because of the repetition or the triviality of the subject. Don't refrain from interacting or act irritated or grumpy because then she'll become increasingly hesitant about interacting with you. Remove the word "embarrassed" from your thinking about any of it. She's no longer in quite the same world as you are but your verbal participation will still help her to keep connected. This will help keep her on track and by keeping the conversation going will allow you to see how the condition is progressing. 2) I care for my mom in a retirement community. Lot's of people here your mom's age and older. Giving up driving is a HUGE deal. They all know it's the end of their independence so they resist it.....until they have an accident. Most are just property damage but often much worse. There isn't one in ten who will stop voluntarily. One 92-year-old plowed through the wall of the community center sending 6 people to the hospital. It was the second time he'd done it. He was adamant that he was a good driver and was being treated unfairly because authorities pulled his driving privileges. I'm sure you know your own stories. Usually its a combination of factors that make them hazardous. They can't see well. Their ability to evaluate and react to situations on the road is often severely impaired. They can't swivel their heads and shift their eyes as quickly as they used to. Many have numbness or impaired sensation in their legs and feet and can't tell which pedal they're pushing. And they almost all have spells of more intense mental impairment than normal that come and go -- almost like daydreaming in the degree of inattention. Since they've almost all been driving all their lives, they can accomplish most of what they need to do by rote and reflex -- but its not the same as it used to be. When something happens that demands immediate reaction -- the nature of driving -- they often can't handle it. They look and act "normal" but they are, in fact, rolling road-hazards. Their awareness of their surroundings can be slightly impaired to almost non-existent. They're not carelessly inattentive -- they're simply incapable of being attentive. They are clear and present dangers to themselves and others. On the plus side, whatever they do is usually done slowly so normally-functioning drivers and pedestrians can usually avoid them. I don't know anything about your MIL except what you've said and I'm certainly not saying she's anything like I've just described. What I am suggesting is that you continue to pay close attention to her driving abilities. Nobody else will. If/when the time comes that you may see she shouldn't be driving anymore, I encourage you to do whatever you need to do to keep her off the road.

twotogo - thank you for your nice welcome. This is kind of a weird situation - kind of premature for real retirement planning - but it is a one time opportunity that we need to make some decisions on in the not too distant future. I know from past experiences when we considered building a home that I have a hard time compromising on what I want vs. what I can afford. Remodeling our kitchen was very educational in terms of the cost of different choices. I have actually spent quite a bit of time over the years pondering house plans and other house stuff - either at times we considered building or at times we considered remodeling to improve things in our current home. I'm a big fan of The Not So Big House - spending more on the character of a smaller space vs. on more space. I know I have a hard time with the idea of making a decision from a plan where I've never actually been in the house - or at least seen photos of the "finished goods". That is why I am drawn to things that are closer to what I've had. Also entirely unclear at this point if we would sell current place in the foreseeable future and build new place in next few years - or just buy the property now and build retirement place in 10 years or so. All kinds of ideas spinning around at this point - it's fun to consider the possibilities.