The way I have seen it work well is for the children to walk down the aisle but not stand through the ceremony. Rather, they sit in a front or near-front row with some appropriate relative who is ready there to collect them when they get there (and take them out if necessary). Children of three or younger are pretty unpredictable. Even well-behaved ones can be overwhelmed by a wedding. But the problem then isn't the children -- it's the adults in charge of them who don't scoop them up and leave if they become disruptive.

TOS, I don't need a website to tell me that the majority of kids today are in non intact families. I was surprised back when I worked for social services, how many children lived with grandparents and other relatives. I was equally shocked at how many father's had custody and uninvolved mothers. I was a single mother and I figured that there were very few mother's that didn't have custody or see their children. While KKNY can yell from the rooftops that only 10% of fathers have custody, I think that's an outdated statistic. It may not be much higher, but that doesn't mean 90% of mothers have custody. Obviously, if 4.5 million (and I still think it's higher) children live with grandparents and I saw many cases of children living with other relatives that would not be included in those statistics (as well as non relatives raising someone's kids)... when you factor that in, the percentage of mother's raising their children drops. KKNY, like I said, you can't discuss EVERY possible scenario before you get remarried. When there are children involved, you have to accept the unexpected. I guess the first rule is IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, DON'T MARRY SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T LIKE CHILDREN. Doodle married someone with small children and it's clear she loves kids. How can you anticipate whether you will want to babysit grandkids or how often (I think most people would want to babysit their grandkids) 15-20 years from now? Nobody can look into the future and tell what will happen years or decades from now. Like I said, i am looking forward to my grandkids. I can't say for sure if I will be available to babysit when my kids want me to. I think that when you get married, the best you can do is discuss how you feel about family and look at your partner's family ties... Id family as important to them as it is to you? etc. Some families are very close while some only get together at the holiday's or hardly ever. I think it's important to discuss family in general, it would also alleviate disagreements over in laws, etc. And then since the divorce rate is over 50% (and rising), I suppose that prior to the first marriage, while talking about whether they will have kids and how many, they should start discussing who will get custody and what kind of parenting plan they might have in the future. They should discuss how a step parent will play into the equation. After all, it's more likely than not for today's children to experience their parent's divorce, live in a single parent household, and eventually, live in a blended family. Might as well discuss it before having kids. I think you are right, the more you discuss, the better. And I'm always in favor of putting it in writing. People tend to change their minds and forget what they agreed to.

I agree with Cat about the marriage situation. I think the adult children problem will work it self out. It maybe that they will never be close to you, does that bother you? If you love the man try to work out a solution. I really think in most cases the 'kiddies' are jealous. Just be sure to discuss it with him in a calm manner and let him know how you feel. Try to keep emotions in check and a trip to a professional does help. It does seem that many adult children are not very 'adult' at all. I met DH when I was 47 and we started a romantic relationship when I was 48. He had transferred from the state where his adult children lived and each year he would pay for 4 to 5 of them to come for a week or two vacation. This cost about $5000! For some strange reason it was always the same oldest daughter that came with her children. I stayed out of it and they were polite. Then he retired and I still worked, they expected the same trips, plus send one of hers to France on a school trip, another two of hers wanted to come each year at Christmas, all at our expense. He had been buying Christmas gifts for each grandchild (12) from a list they provided, plus giving all three of his daughters $300 for gifts and $100 each to shop for themselves. Can you spell guilt lol!!!!! And his 3 girls took advantage of it. I was paying the house payments and other bills and the oldest had the nerve to ask him who was getting the house when he died. I told him we could not afford all of this after he retired and he agreed. That's when they started to get nasty with me, they do not even say hello when I answer the phone and my name is never included on the cards. Of course, it was all my fault. I explained to them we didn't have the same amount of money as before. I guess to punish him they stopped calling, send no cards Christmas, Father's Day, or his birthday. This hurt him deeply and he talked to a counselor. After we had been together for 6 years and a Christmas without hearing from them I called one of his sisters and explained what was going on. I asked her if she thought I was out of line if I called them, she said no, that she thought they were selfish. I wanted until DH went to bed (3 hour time difference, we were later) and I e-mailed one and told her how disappointed I was that as big of a family as he has not one of them could call him on Christmas or the other holidays. I said I would send her the pre stamped cards if that was the problem. I had the phone number for the oldest and I called her. I politely and calmly told her the same thing. She started screaming at me so loud I had to hold the phone away from my ear. She said everything was fine until I came along, he was retiring in their state until he met me. They all 3 did send cards the next holiday so it was worth it. They will not come to visit unless we pay for it. It is not that they can't afford it. We moved to a small area and they say there is nothing to do here. Doesn't visit your father count???? When we send gifts we never get a thank you and DH will call to see if they received the gift. The last time I embroidered 4 burp cloths and we mailed the gift. We had been invited to the shower in another state, but no one sent a thank you or even bothered to send a birth announcement. I told him this hurt my feelings and I would no longer make personal gifts for them. If he sends a gift it's up to him. We have discussed the situation and we met with an attorney and had all papers drawn up and the house is in both our names. It finally came to an understanding for him when his oldest called us last year and was telling him she had to put the kids school clothes on credit cards. I did fell a little sorry for her. 3 months later he receives a post card from Italy, she was on a 2 week vacation with her boy friend. His chin fell to the floor, but now he understands his daughter perfectly!!!!! His brothers and sisters treat me very well, but I did let him visit last year alone when his brother was in hospice so he could visit his children without the tension of ME lol!!!!

Here's a slightly different explanation. It's from a Blog so I can't guarantee it's accuracy. I linked the full Blog below. .............. " Under the rules that regulate the use of the Princely title and the style of Royal Highness only the children of the sovereign and the children of sons of the sovereign can be styled as Prince or Princess. Children of the sovereignâÂÂs daughters " like almost everyone else in the realm "take their style from their father. Given that Mark Phillips is untitled, his children were always destined to be so as well. Princess Anne therefore, had to request nothing..................." Here is a link that might be useful: titles This post was edited by maire_cate on Wed, Jun 19, 13 at 14:18