Thank U 4 the Gr8 Gift: How to Send Thanks in the Digital Age
We click open invitations and RSVP via text, but a handwritten thank-you is sometimes still best. Here's how to tell
Laura Gaskill
August 4, 2013
Houzz Contributor. I cover decorating ideas, Houzz tours & the monthly home maintenance checklist. My favorite pieces to write center around the emotional aspects of home and savoring life's simple pleasures. Decluttering course + discount for Houzzers: https://www.lauragaskill.com/welcome-houzzers
Houzz Contributor. I cover decorating ideas, Houzz tours & the monthly home maintenance... More
Etiquette has come a long way from the rules learned and passed down by our grandparents and parents. Not only are our interactions far more casual today (when was the last time you said "sir"?), but new technologies have come along that have completely changed the way we live our lives. Modern life is brimming with unclear rules, such as: Can you text a thank-you note? What about sending an email or e-card? Are there still times when only a handwritten note will do?
In this new series we will be covering the answers to these questions and many more, as we explore the finer points of modern manners. Join us today as we delve into what goes into a great thank-you note, from choosing your method of delivery (handwritten or digital) to finding just the right thing to say. Let's get started.
In this new series we will be covering the answers to these questions and many more, as we explore the finer points of modern manners. Join us today as we delve into what goes into a great thank-you note, from choosing your method of delivery (handwritten or digital) to finding just the right thing to say. Let's get started.
Be generous with your gratitude. There is hardly a time I can think of that a person would not appreciate a little note of thanks for something they did, however small. Gifts clearly deserve a thank-you note in return (we will cover handwritten versus digital notes in a moment), but there are plenty of other occasions that warrant a showing of gratitude. Here are a few people who deserve thanks:
- Helpful neighbors
- Friends who've had you over for dinner
- A relative who babysat for free
- Someone who visited you when you were sick
- The friends who had you as a weekend guest
- In-laws who welcomed you to share a holiday meal
- A coworker who did a favor for you
- A potential employer who interviewed you
- A person who wrote you a recommendation
How did the invitation arrive? Generally, it is a safe bet to send your response in the same medium as the invitation you received. For instance, if you received a paper invitation, send a paper thank-you note; if the invitation was digital, you could email a thank-you.
This is true even with formal affairs — if the hosts sent nontraditional email invitations, it's fine to follow suit with a nice digital thank-you note or personal email. It is likely they avoided sending paper invitations because of environmental concerns and will appreciate your avoiding paper communication, too.
This is true even with formal affairs — if the hosts sent nontraditional email invitations, it's fine to follow suit with a nice digital thank-you note or personal email. It is likely they avoided sending paper invitations because of environmental concerns and will appreciate your avoiding paper communication, too.
Did you receive a handmade gift? Handmade gifts, like knitted, crocheted and sewn items, as well as edibles, take extraordinary amounts of time to prepare. If you are the lucky recipient of such an item, taking the time to send a heartfelt paper thank-you note in the mail is the appropriate response. Effusive gushing over the phone or in person is warranted as well.
What if it was handmade by someone else? People who give handmade gifts, even if they are purchased, tend to appreciate handwritten cards. Send that thank-you note!
What if it was handmade by someone else? People who give handmade gifts, even if they are purchased, tend to appreciate handwritten cards. Send that thank-you note!
Who are you thanking? There are certain people in our lives (you know who they are) who will never embrace digital signs of gratitude. For these folks there is no such thing as too many thank-you notes, so send away! For minor occasions at the very least make a phone call and thank them in person if possible.
For close friends, a quick text sent off just after leaving to thank them for another scrumptious dinner — and a mention of returning the favor — should suffice.
For close friends, a quick text sent off just after leaving to thank them for another scrumptious dinner — and a mention of returning the favor — should suffice.
When your child needs to thank someone. Good manners start early, and they begin with your good example. If you regularly model writing and sending thank-you notes of your own, it will come as no surprise when you ask your child to do the same.
Turn it into a fun, creative project by keeping your child's desk stocked with thank-you-note writing supplies. Kids can make their own cards or save old artwork to turn into cards. For younger kids, having them pose for a photo holding, wearing or using the gift makes a memorable thank-you.
That said, forcing it is bound to backfire. If your child has no interest in writing the note, go ahead and write the note yourself without making a fuss and try again next time.
Turn it into a fun, creative project by keeping your child's desk stocked with thank-you-note writing supplies. Kids can make their own cards or save old artwork to turn into cards. For younger kids, having them pose for a photo holding, wearing or using the gift makes a memorable thank-you.
That said, forcing it is bound to backfire. If your child has no interest in writing the note, go ahead and write the note yourself without making a fuss and try again next time.
Get ready to write. Having attractive supplies at the ready is helpful for adults, too. Make a habit of picking up nice cards when you see them, so you always have a good supply at hand. Store them with addresses, a few favorite pens and a supply of stamps.
For digital thank-yous, start bookmarking online services that stock pretty e-cards, so you know where to look when you need to send one. Also check to make sure your digital address file and birthday list are up to date.
For digital thank-yous, start bookmarking online services that stock pretty e-cards, so you know where to look when you need to send one. Also check to make sure your digital address file and birthday list are up to date.
Be specific. When it comes time to write a thank-you note, the rules are the same whether the note is on paper or typed across a screen: Be specific, prompt and personal. Don't just mention the gift — be sure to include a few words about how you appreciate the thought they put into it. Even if you are emailing your note, begin by addressing the person properly ("Dear Diana") instead of with a cursory "hi" or "hey." For instance:
"Dear Matt,
Thank you so much for the embroidered map of our lake! What a thoughtful gift — I will cherish it. I can't wait to hang it up.
Yours,
Sarah"
"Dear Matt,
Thank you so much for the embroidered map of our lake! What a thoughtful gift — I will cherish it. I can't wait to hang it up.
Yours,
Sarah"
Remember, expressing gratitude is the important thing. You have to do more than think kind, gracious thoughts; let the other person know what you are thinking. Even close friends you see all the time deserve reminding of how awesome they are.
Try: slipping a note under your friend's door after a party, tucking a note in your child's backpack when you notice peace among siblings, putting a sticky note on your sweetie's car after a fab homemade breakfast or texting your mother just to let her know you appreciate everything she does.
Thanking others doesn't always need to be formal; it just needs to be done.
Tell us: Do you still write paper thank-you notes? If so, when? Do you use email, texts or e-cards as thank-yous?
More: The Unsung Power of a Good Neighbor
Try: slipping a note under your friend's door after a party, tucking a note in your child's backpack when you notice peace among siblings, putting a sticky note on your sweetie's car after a fab homemade breakfast or texting your mother just to let her know you appreciate everything she does.
Thanking others doesn't always need to be formal; it just needs to be done.
Tell us: Do you still write paper thank-you notes? If so, when? Do you use email, texts or e-cards as thank-yous?
More: The Unsung Power of a Good Neighbor
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I would like to share also a A small note from my travel: at Kazakstan, when family or friends invite you to their home as guests, the homeowner always give you a gift for thanking you of coming to his/her home.
Saying thank you is the most beautiful thing in this world because it always make both sides happy: the person who say it, and the person who hear it.