Hi I am new to homesteading as well. I bought property in NE Tennessee. I don't think it was cheap, but then again my property has a house on it. I find Tennessee to be great. I did a lot of research and while I have different priorities, my goals are similar. I have close to 3 acres, and want a milk cow, chickens, ducks, turkeys and possibly a pig. I have been here around a month and haven't even started yet. As to TN its quite nice. There is good rain fall the summers are not nearly as hot and humid as where i was before, and you actually get to enjoy all 4 season. I made sure to get land in a nice valley, as you tend to accumulate more water, have thicker greener grass, and stay just a tad warmer then on a mountain. I know I am late in responding to this, but I am quite new and have just seen this.

For over 20 years we have been having a nice little party. Started the first year we were married, and none of our friends were. All of us right out of school and no money to go out to the big scene. We used our silver wedding dishes and leftover napkins from the reception. Had a really fun time. Then in our first house we would have the babies asleep, and people could bring their kids and playpens. Low key fun with friends. Onto the house we raised our kids in. Everyone could bring their kids to the party, so no one had to pay for a babysitter. Somehow the kids all played together famously, and managed to stay up past midnight and be a delight. Everyone brought an appetizer to share, so it was a casual party and not much work since the house was already deep cleaned from the holidays. This is the first year in our new (empty nest) house. Our kids are in college, and they are still coming to the party, except now they are all old enough to take part fully. When we told our friends we were moving, usually the first thing they wanted to know was if we still planned to have our new years eve party. It has become a really nice tradition. I think that us and all of our friends like to get together, not spend any money, and not shout over a loud bar scene. It is really a nice time. Just wanted to put this out there in case anyone else might want to start a nice little tradition like this too.

Mona, you're not crazy. I've had a little experience with what you're feeling. Older teen and young adult stepkids will sometimes feel threatened by a new family structure and they will try to assert control over activities and meals to "recreate" the old family structure. Often, Dad will pander to them because he's keen to maintain their interest in the family. However, kids can't run the family and we've had a few conflicts over the years, especially on vacations, when the big kid doesn't get her/his way. We've also had some problems with the big kid pressing Dad to spend money that he can't afford. You can solve some of this problem, to some extent, with advance planning. Prior to a visit, make sure that you and your husband have a plan in place for important meals (like Christmas dinner) and activities (like visits with relatives). If the big kids balk, be sure that you have an "out" for them so they won't cause problems (i.e. "We're taking baby to see Santa today at noon. You're welcome to tag along, or you can stay home and get some homework done"). Also, have a few pre-planned jobs in mind to keep them busy (i.e. they make cookies, wrap gifts or do a craft that you've purchased with the little kids). However, there will be times that you will just have to grit your teeth and bear it. That happened to me on Easter weekend when I was snafu'ed with an activity on Good Friday that I wasn't informed about and hadn't planned on. It didn't adversely affect my weekend, so I just smiled and went along. Rest assured, that the problem becomes less frequent as the big kids get older, and become occupied with their own careers and relationships.

"Ima, FD clearly said, as you quoted EVERY TIME. Which means just what is said." What are you babbling about??? I only addressed TOS. I didn't say anything to FD. "In that case it is up to the mother to convince her daughter to come - which shouldn't be too hard if she has "big plans." Presumably if her daughter didn't want to go because her mother had embarrassed her by yelling at her in public, she would have to sense to apologize. It is not, however, acceptable to cancel at the last minute - either the parent or the child - except in an emergency." Agreed. The father in OP's situation should be allowed to try to convince his children to come see him. He has big plans (a wedding) and without knowing them, nobody can say how the kids feel about it. If they resent dad getting married, then of course they'd refuse to go. But, if mom has guilted them into declining, then he should try to convince them how important it is for them to be there. It really isn't acceptable to cancel at all (not just last minute) unless something more important (emergency) were to come up. If the kid has a championship or activity they are really looking forward to, dad should understand. If they have no plans, then they should be encouraged to spend time with the other parent. The parent should only cancel if they might lose their job or some other major reason, not because they just don't feel like it or they have a date or some stupid reason that is going to make their child feel unimportant. Showing our children they are a priority will teach them how to prioritize their own lives. (and I kinda think that is what finedreams is saying and I agree. If the parent doesn't show them they are their priority, then eventually, the child will decide on his/her own that the parent isn't a priority either) [makes me think of that song: cat's in the cradle]