Your description of your son reminds me very much of my older son when he was little - another baby who held his head up the day he was born. Bright, curious, highly active children seem to be a great match for Montessori, so I'd maybe get him on some waiting lists for when he is the right age... Please also know that not all Montessori schools are created equal. We had 2 wonderful and 2 not-so-good before we were done. That said - I had a nanny for older DS when he was little, and it was *wonderful*. She was a lovely young woman (26) originally from Africa but raised and educated in Sweden. She lived out (which kept my work hours reasonable) and drove her own car (excellent driving record - I checked). I gladly allowed her to run her personal errands with baby-DS provided she kept her cell phone on and respected his nap times. She enjoyed the flexibility, and I know DS enjoyed the outings. She stayed for 2 years before moving across the country to finish college and reunite with her lost love (now husband). During that time, we became dear friends, and I know my son and I still have a place in her heart as she does in ours. Sounds like the kind of help you would most like is part-time nanny (while SAHD tries to work) and part-time housekeeper? Here in Texas, there are many 'grandmotherly' women (mostly Hispanic with limited English) that fill that type of role. I don't know if that's a viable option where you are, or one you would consider -- but it might be a more comfortable fit for the whole family. By 'fit', what I mean is that a pure 'nanny' role doesn't normally include any housekeeping that isn't child-related. In other words, she'd do your son's laundry, but not yours. Fix lunch for him, but not Dad. For most European girls and Au Pairs, I think this is a very meaningful distinction. (I know it was for our nanny, a distinction that drove my Ex nuts.) Anyway, in those cultures, nannies are treated as quasi family members and housekeepers are 'domestic servants'. A nanny would be insulted at being asked to do 'maid's work'. My only other piece of advice? Look, look, look until you find the right person. You'll know it when you do. And it's as much 'heart' and 'judgement as 'qualifications'. Then pay them well and treat them well, remembering that your son's happiness and emotional health depend on it!

DD had a "3" suite freshman year at college. She had one great roommate, and one who was very dirty. Didn't wash her clothes, bedding or hair for days, sometimes weeks. Fastforward to this year, DD is rooming with her "clean" freshman roommate again. In the Spring she will be in an apartment in Italy with another college friend. Come fall, the three girls will have an apartment near campus. My DD is by no means a neatnik, but leaving dirty clothes around and not washing your hair for days will make a small college room smell. You can't change someone else's behavior. DD was beside herself, but felt uncomfortable talking to the third roommate about it. So, I mentioned to my DD early on last year that she might want to think of a way to handle this as it wasn't tolerable or fair to DD or her other roommate. No, DD didn't want to do that, etc. I then explained that the room will stink, and when your friends drop by to hang out in your room, they are not going to know it is "so and so" who stinks. Well two days after going back to school, DD had a very diplomatic talk with her 3rd roommate. I was so proud of the way she handled it. She didn't accuse or make judgments, just asked if the 3rd roommate could make more of an effort. Worked for a bit, but not long term. This girl would take her dirty clothes home in the hamper and return to school with them dirty, smelling worse than when they left on break! Not much us as moms can do except guide our DD's to address their problems without confrontation or accusations. Hope this works out for your DD!

With my MIL it was "all about her", but you need to let that just wash right off your back. That's sounds like my MIL. She'll cut you off if the subject of conversation doesn't interest her. But.. if you talk about her, you have her undivided attention! When my daughter was little, my MIL would ask her how she was doing. Before my daughter could say one word, my MIL would turn away and start talking to someone else. My daughter would stand there with a puzzled hurt look on her face. All days, any hour, she thought she was entitled to just turn up My MIL used to drop in (only visits when she wants something) at 11 pm, sometimes 11:30pm. DH finally told her not to bother dropping in at that time again because DD has to get up early for school and it's not a time to visit people. He even told her about calling so late. Now she'll call at 10:30pm LOL. My DH often says that if he was married to his mother, she'd drive him to drink like she did with her 2 husbands! He once told her that he thought she was bipolar and all she's really looking for is a slave, not a partner/companion. My DD (16) told me just the other day that she thought her grandmother wasn't too bright about things. That her grandmother could only talk about certain topics because she can't hold a conversation about too many things unless it's about her, her belongings, her house, her garden, her thoughts. It's always all about her! This somewhat concerned me a little cuz I didn't want my DD to think that of her grandmother, but a person would have to be deaf not to notice. When one of her granddaughters, who lives about 5 hours away, came to see her one day. All my MIL could do is complain about her. My DH started telling me about it and was somewhat in agreement with his mother. I told DH that I thought it was cruel of her to complain about that since the granddaughter came all this way just to see her when she had a break from school (GD is 21). MIL complains that she's lonely, and complains when she has someone stay over. You can't win with her. She's never happy/satisfied. When DH's baby sister and her husband moved back home from out West, they stayed at the MIL's house for a couple months. SIL told us that "I love her, but she drives me nuts! I can't understand why she never wants to go visit family." At one point, when SIL and her hubby finally found a place to live in a city an hour away but had to wait a month, they told us that they couldn't wait cuz MIL was always putting SIL's hubby down with rude comments. Since they've moved out, MIL drives down to see them once a week! LOL So in a nutshell, I just listen to what she has to say. Sometimes I even ask her a question about something to show interest in her and she gets all excited and acts like I'm her new best friend! LOL It makes her happy (she's 72) and it makes my DH happy. My MIL, however, has never told us how we should raise our daughter and I respect her for that. The one thing that I feel for my DH is the fact that his mother was there more for her "friends/employees" than she was for her own kids (8 of them) and her grandchildren. Now that she's retired, she's a very lonely woman. Her children are scattered everywhere throughout Ontario and she doesn't really know all of her grandchildren (except for the first 4). MIL often comments on how she doesn't really know our daughter, making it sound like it's our fault. DH tells her that it's because SHE's the one who never took the time to get to know her. This hurts DH and our DD because she sees for herself how her grandmother was with her other grandchildren. MIL once commented to me that my DD was very close to my mother. I said it was because my mother gives her undivided attention when she sees her and shows a genuine interest in her. My MIL then said something like.. well it's different when you have grandchildren when you're young cuz you can do more stuff with them. When you get a little older, you don't do as much. I told her that my mother was older than she was and still did a lot of things with her grandchildren. My MIL didn't say too much after that. She was just trying to justify her not taking time with our DD. Geez... for the first 8 months of our DD's life, my MIL lived a 2-minute drive away and never came to see her once! My parents live 15-20 minutes away and came once a week, every week!

justgottabeme: That is a very sweet story about your Mom. DD seems to enjoy having my attention on her room--sometimes before she'd get annoyed when I spent so much time on "decorating." What I am doing is sifting through the myriad of choices to 1-3 choices which I think are acceptable in terms of cost, color and durability and have let her make the final choice. Having this forum as a sounding board to determine the options is very helpful, but for the most part I try to let her make the choices. The JCP rug is a tad smaller than I'd like, though bac717 brought up a good point that with JCP returns are not a problem. I may actually work from the chair fabric backwards and see which fabric she chooses then choose the opposite color for the rug since we have two options. One concern I have with the dotted fabrics is that they are all 100% cotton--and perhaps not the most durable choice for the seat cushion. Here are some of the ones from the Susan Sargent line I thought could work. The first two are woven and look to be of a heavier weight. cartwheel: 54% cotton, 46% polyester, woven jacquard medley: 60% cotton, 40% rayon, woven linen dot: 100% cotton, printed