Ya, it's that "all about me" mentality. As of yesterday we now have a statewide mask mandate for all public indoor places. I only noticed one family of dissenters at the grocery store today - the mrs had a mask covering mouth only, the kids and the mr had no mask. You could say "survival of the fittest" but for the fact some fit people have no choice but to risk exposure to the unfit.

I have this theory that coronavirus is here to make a major correction to mankind. Whatever you believe - higher power, mother earth, etc. - we are unable to fix ourselves so we are being fixed by something much greater than all of us. DH has thrown out the idea that nature is taking care of itself - a virus to rein in the humans who are destroying the earth. Your mind can run wild when you have a lot of time on your hands.....

People who say that they are willing to take the risk to do X, Y, or Z for whatever reason; everyone dies of something, they are young and healthy, their "strong" immune system will protect them, etc. don't get it! I'm not careful just for me, I'm careful for everyone else too!

Pink, I think you are being far too generous in your assessment of people who are Covid deniers when you said this: “But denial for them and my Dad serves a very important psychological coping purpose.”

For the people I know personally or have seen myself, denial serves no purpose whatsoever except to prove that they are effing idiots. I saw a t shirt the other day that I was tempted to buy that says it even more succinctly:

maire_cate, are your Florida friends by chance located in or near Indian River county? Several weeks ago my husband and I took a long drive while listening to book tapes. It’s almost as though people never heard of covid in that area.

For me, the resentment of people who aren't following the strict stay at home rules, or resisting masks is that THEY are the ones who are keeping me in covid jail. I, (and others like me), are following the rules, staying home, no travel, no get togethers, no restaurants, curbside service, etc. Yet the virus is spreading uncontrolled and it's not being spread by me or others like me.

So, yes, I am furious that they are just living their lives and risking further spread, risking other's lives, bringing our whole healthcare system to the breaking point, risking those who will have to take care of them if they get it. Risking the heartbreak of giving it to their own loved ones, or risking their loved ones losing them, or having to arrange to care for them if they are disabled from the effects of the virus. They all can justify their selfishness with whatever justification they want, but selfishness is what it is.

And I wonder, if things get much, much worse for all of us in the near future, if they will think their trip to the beach or that plane ride or that restaurant meal, or that fun gathering will have been worth it. I have my doubts.

For me, the resentment of people who aren't following the strict stay at home rules, or resisting masks is that THEY are the ones who are keeping me in covid jail.

Yes, yes, yes! And worse than keeping me in Covid jail, they are keeping my young adult children there.

Terrilynn - they were my neighbors here near Philly but moved to South Palm Beach 4 years ago. They are true beach lovers and have always enjoyed Florida. Her DH is a retired physician and she was a nurse and they are just dismayed at how the majority of people behave. They're so concerned about the rise in the number of cases that her DD plans on asking her OB about having her baby at a Birthing Center rather than a hospital.

When I told her that nearly everyone here is compliant she laughed. I asked if the stores had "no Masks - no Service" signs and she said some do, but no one enforces them.

Everything Oly said. I’m judgmental as hell.

So, those of y’all who are judgmental...you think that no one should ever leave their home? I’m confused. In our state, we are in Phase 2, which allows small, socially distanced gatherings (10 or less), restaurants are open at 25% capacity, and we have a mask mandate. We also have a Democrat governor, lol! So you are judging people who are following the rules set out by our state government? I had a socially distanced bday party for 6 friends in my backyard. We followed every protocol. We are NOT current in a Stay At Home order. When we were, I didn’t go anywhere except the grocery store. No one came over. I followed the rules, like I currently am. I don‘t understand what I am doing wrong.

Nini - your comment is good in that it points out the fact that we are responding to a Health Crisis with Politics and Policy- specifically meaning a patchwork of rules and proclamations that are not anchored in science.

We have done some of the same things You mentioned - -all outside, but also cancelled because we were not comfortable with the set up. We have an extended group text going, so I am confident Knowing where members of our pod have been and who has a loser definition of the rules. Our contact is very limited.

I don’t judge that your are or are not playing by the rules set forth by your local government based on the unique characteristics of your community.

I do judge people who are uninterested in responding to a health crisis with concern for how their actions may impact others. And those are the people who chose self over community, even if their actions are deemed safe.

I also judge the bureaucrats from all sides who refuse to set up a national set of rules to respond and minimize the risk across all parts of this country. For some it would be too much, for others barely enough. But if we focus on how our actions impact others, then we become unified in our attempt to put this -temporarily at least - to rest.

That being said, my friends(from all over) are my friends for a reason and I can’t imagine that changing over time as a result of this blip in our history.

nini, it sounds like you aren't doing anything wrong! It sounds like you are doing it right. I'm mad at people who are not following guidelines, won't mask, hop on a plane or drive 3 states away to some small community because they perceive it's safer and potentially take the virus with them, overwhelming the systems. I am talking about the gatherings with no masks, the crowded beaches, the churches who won't follow the rules, etc.

Or people who just think they have it so bad because they can't do all those things. Ssssttttrrrrreeeettttccccchhhhhhiiinnnnggggg the rules to suit their situation, well, maybe just this one time, I'm sure it will be fine. But it turns out it's not and we are reaping the "benefits" of their selfishness.

Interestingly, I listened to this yesterday - an excellent discussion with Julia Marcus of the Harvard Medical School:

https://www.npr.org/2020/07/23/894556787/why-shame-is-a-bad-public-health-tool-especially-in-a-pandemic

"So much of dealing with the pandemic is about how each of us behaves in public. And it's easy to get mad when we see people not following public health guidelines, especially when it looks like they're having fun.

But Julia Marcus of Harvard Medical School says there are pitfalls to focusing only on what we can see, and more empathetic ways to create new social norms.

Julia's written about that for The Atlantic. Here's some of her recent work."

Although it might not sound like it when I post on a thread like this, I'm not investing a lot of my time worrying about the topic (because I'm usually at home) unless it is during a discussion IRL or otherwise.

I think we need to act more like the EU and open and close according to state numbers and only under a set of federal guidelines and federal testing. I think we are far to large to close every part of our country when some have spikes.

I wonder if the rebellions to lock down is really just fatique. Florida, California, Texas all had far lower numbers in April than ny, nj , ct and MA but were forced to close under the federal "thirty day" pause. Now they need to step back into phase 1 or more likely lock down again while the north east has low risk and gets to live freely. Ca will be 100 days of strick closing rules this week. Maybe shut downs should have only applied to our states early on that had over 5 percent positivity. Just like reopening has a set of federal guidelines closings should be so organized.

I think it is almost criminal to open all schools when many are over 5 percent positivity rates. Equally, l think it is sinful to keep schools closed in areas where there is less than 1 percent infection. Italy closed weeks before the Uk. Germany opened before france. All countries with less than 1 percent positivity have or will fully open schools in most of the world.

And those are the people who chose self over community, even if their actions are deemed safe.

Not sure I follow this?^

My friends that live in Dallas, TX posted photos on Facebook of their recent trip to Maine. I'm sure they didn't quarantine, but maybe they tested negative on Covid tests so I'm not judging.

A woman from my book club retired and moved to Florida last winter, but kept her house here in NJ for the summer months. I don't really consider her a friend as I don't really like her, but we are "friends" on Facebook. She keeps posting memes and articles slamming our governor for mask mandates and closed restaurants & gyms. I don't engage with her, but I really want to tell her to go back to Florida if she wants her "freedumb" and don't come here and complain. People like her, yes I do judge. She has made it quite clear that she truly cares only about herself.

It's not like states, counties or cities and towns have closed borders, so low numbers are not a dependable measure of safety, IMO.

And the shut downs worked at limiting new infections, and then people behaved as if the virus was gone. I agree people got tired of the restrictions.

Lack of a cohesive national approach to this enormous public health crisis has certainly caused this fiasco.

Somewhere around 100 people are dying daily in my state.

Nini, sounds like you are following the rules. :)

I do wish we could have a discussion without resorting to the "j" word. Judgmental? We ALL are, in some form or fashion. We're human beings. We take in information and process it through the filter of our own experience and form opinions that might run counter to the thoughts and choices of others. Do we have the "right" to be opinionated about the activities of others? Of course we do. And of course, anyone has the "right" to refer to contrary opinions as "judgmental", but do be aware that it has a really off-putting way of shutting down dialogue for some.

Nini, you are doing all you can do. My gripe is with those who don't wear a mask, and don't keep physical distance between themselves and those outside their bubble. You took a trip to the beach and did that in accordance to all the best practices we know.

Mt, an example of following the guidelines yet still be putting people at risk can be found in my state of georgia. We are not required to wear masks, and therefore when people “comply” with the no mask policy they put their own and others’ lives in danger. They are not claiming they didn’t know their actions were dangerous, they are flaunting their compliance with our state guidelines.

Not all states have guidelines that follow scientific principles.

I hope people understand that Florida is like 67 different countries making their own rules. Masks are mandatory in some counties, drive 15 miles and not mandatory in the neighboring one.

Except for bars, bars are closed throughout the state. Unless a bar starts selling wings (bought in from Publix) then the bar is a restaurant and can stay open. The 50% of income from food sales was changed earlier this month. But that bar/now a restaurant can’t have live music Inside.

It’s a mess. DiSatin needs to make some decisions, tough ones that are state wide. Since he lost the GOP convention last week thoughts are that he might start putting the state’s welfare first. I doubt it though.

KSWL, oh i guess it depends on how one defines "deemed safe." Just because a few pandering politicians say it is safe, does not mean something it "deemed safe" in my book.

I agree completely, and that is what I think the other poster was referring to. Just because a local authority has deemed an activity safe doesn’t mean it is safe. But people who justify unsafe behavior by claiming they complied with all local laws or mandates or guidelines are not acting in good faith IMHO.

***Nini, I am in no way referring to you or your trip, as it is evident you went above and beyond what was required —as any sane, educated person would do. In georgia we seem to have a lot of insane, uneducated people who shop and talk to the checkout kids at the grocery from 30” away and cough onto the cardreader, maskless and indifferent.

Speaking of the "insane and uneducated" ... I was astonished yesterday as DH and I were out for our regular walk, when a female runner came up behind us and blasted past, so close to me physically as to nearly brush against me. I literally felt her "air" move into mine. Yes, we were walking two abreast on the trail, but we move far away from others approaching in either direction - when we see or hear them. Her approach was quiet and "stealthy", and we had no idea she was upon us until she nearly bumped right into me. What on earth would compel a person to nearly TOUCH another person on the trail, when there was more than ample room for her to run a few steps around us in the grass or in the road? I wanted to scream at her when I realized what had just happened as she went by, but it happened so quickly that I didn't even have time to react. Too, who wants to have a verbal altercation in the middle of a walking trail? I remain disgusted that she forced her heavy-breathing, airborne "gunk" willfully into my/our personal space.

Ida, I see runners all the time blowing by unmasked, projecting their stuff as much as any chorister.

My husband is considering wearing a mask now when he goes for a bike ride on the bike path. He says there are enough bikers, runners, and walkers, that he wonders about spread, and it isn’t that easy to distance on a 6’-wide path. On the other hand, it is 90 today, 80s this week, i can’t imagine wearing a mask for that.

It is a continuum of risk. You have to assess your risk based on where you are locally and then with your own personal risk factors.

Some potentially helpful images:

We've been to the beach at Galveston, only because we could drive there. Going there and back we stopped at Buc-cees, a huge convenient store. It was so crowded, I'm talking shoulder to shoulder, and I don't see how anyone could not get Covid, if it is so contagious. Maybe they did, we didn't, or if we did, we showed no symptoms. No masks were required at the time, not sure if they are now. Most weren't wearing a mask.

I just got back from San Marcos in Texas, went shopping with some friends. The outside mall was very good about letting very few people in the store and of course, had to wear masks. A couple of stores, like Gucci, for one, we had to stand in line outside and we were six feet apart. I was getting cranky towards the end, the masks are just too hot and breathing in hot air while outside, pushed me to the limit. We went to eat in Austin, and we chose to eat in their outdoor area. Despite all that, we had a good time.

We are driving to Colorado real soon, before school starts. More camping style and going paddle boarding and outdoor things-getting out of this heat here. Although, it hasn't been too hot this last week.

So, we get out, but go by the guidelines and try to be as safe as we can, while doing so.

My husband is a runner, and typically doesn’t wear a mask when running. It would be very difficult to do so In the heat. He goes out of his way, however, to stay distant from others, by crossing the street if necessary, or going on the opposite side of a path. When the weather is cooler, he wears a buff, like a thinner neck gaiter, that he can pull up like a mask when needed. He tells me all the time about the rude runners, walkers and bicyclists that he encounters while running, who do not even try to maintain a safe distance.

As for the psychological need to be in denial, well that's pretty well documented as a dysfunctional problem for a lot of folks. It's a habit of mind developed in certain people and families, often so that they can maintain some type of surface appearance and not have to majorly disrupt their lives because of an ongoing issue, like abuse or alcoholism, for example. My mother practiced a lot of denial. Sometimes it is useful, since being able to ignore problems you can't do anything about helps you function day to day. As ever, one had to do a cost vs. benefit of the denial. For a lot of folks who are forced to go to work in conditions that put them at risk every day, and can't control that reality, denial probably helps. But my anger is towards those who have the ability to know better and have the ability to problem solve or even easily act immediately do something about it, but chose not to because they are either too financially invested in the old way of doing things, or they are inflexible and don't want to extend the energy to adapt.

But also, it is a social issue because a lot of people follow social norms. They don't spend as much time thinking and evaluating their behaviors as maybe I do, being a scientist. They don't or can't handle a lot of variables. That type of person will perhaps be motivated by "keeping up with the Joneses" or jumping on what appears to be a successful or fun bandwagon, or want to do what "all the cool people are doing." Such people are being encouraged to flaunt public health measures in my community, in a whole host of ways. Me being someone who has several risk issues exposed, find that particularly infuriating. I think the main reason in my community is that the working class are being encouraged to deny a whole host of local social problems so why should this be any better or different. G-d forbid we hold anyone accountable here. "Can't be done" and "Costs too Much Money" (often said without any actual cost analysis) and "Don't make a fuss/be difficult" are the norms. People here already die quietly from often preventable health issues because they don't have money for treatments or don't trust doctors.

And now another rant about testing. Hubs is going to take some risk and go visit his grandchildren three states away, driving. All states in midwest/east coast with similar virus spread conditions and regulation. Most of the people in hubs family bubble are reasonably cautious, but not ideal due to the size and circumstances of the "bubble." I'm not going, no sense both of us being at risk. So when hubs comes back, he really should quarantine before re-joining our risk pool. But how?? Our house is small and not condusive to quarantine. If he goes to a motel, what about eating and just sit or two weeks? Even one week or even a few days! Is there a friend with resources either of us can stay with? That's a lot to ask even if we did have someone like that. We are in a real pickle. NOW, if hubs could get tested, then the quarantine and problematic period could be greatly shortened! Testing is absolutely NOT available in our community other; than for health care workers, and only on a limited basis with travel up to an hour. I have direct knowledge and experience with this.

Being a scientist, I don't expect a miracle pace, but there is no reason the gas pedal can't be put on covid testing, particularly when there is profit to be made by labs on this and a very large demand, plus considerable economic benefits to access to rapid testing. This is a capitalist economy after all. I'm furious, because I am pretty sure that political power is being expended so that certain companies and certain people can profiteer from this! Also political impetus for "not knowing" what is going on, which absolutely will never help solve a problem. Given the environment, political will should be exerted to protect American citizens from this kind of thing. We managed to do that at least to some extent, during WWII, not that I am so naive as to think it didn't happen. But at least we acknowledged it as a VICE to profiteer from a public crisis!! Also we considered it a value that the federal government did all it could to protect US citizens. Wish that was happening now, instead of denial, "Not my problem, you're on your own."

Since when do we get to live in a world where our behaviors don't affect other people?? Not reality. Never has been, never will be. Maybe in these "virtual" worlds that some people spend so much time in, but there's a price to be paid for being a living being, you need constant matter inputs and you give off byproducts and use energy. Thus, you constantly interact with and affect your environment. First and second laws of physics/thermodynamics. Even a virtual world only comes to you with money and energy expenditures that have to come from some type of interactions.

I live in California and walk every day wearing a mask unless there are no other people visible. It's not humid here but it can get hot and I'll admit that wearing a mask can make breathing and keeping cool more difficult. So I try to walk early in the morning and/or keep to shady routes. I'm grateful for still being able to get outside and exercise and modifying my behavior a bit isn't a big deal.

And then there is This

“'The Whole Church Has Got It, Just About.' Alabama Pastor Says More Than 40 People Have Coronavirus After Revival Event”

Here is another viewpoint on church gatherings; one to which I personally subscribe.

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/messyspirituality/2020/07/are-church-services-essential/?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Christians+For+a+Better+Christianity&utm_content=43

When I see a runner wearing a mask in Oklahoma, in our heat and humidity, I'm sorry, but I think they are being ridiculous. Rarely, I have seen it, but I have, and I could maybe understand it, if they were running in a crowd. Here, it is very easy to run "around" people.

They may be wearing a mask because they are immunocompromised and trying to protect themselves in any possible way. I don't find fault with anyone wearing a mask in the public realm, although occasionally I'll see folks driving a vehicle - alone - wearing one. Hard not to wonder why, but hey - more power to 'em.

If they can't run six feet away from people, and are that immunocompromised, they don't need to be out in public running. I'm not really finding fault, I'm just thinking what a waste of good fresh air, albeit, hot and humid here. I'm sure he/she has their reasons.

we didn't: were you wearing masks? Or maybe it because you weren‘t in the store long enough to breathe in enough for the virus to take hold. Maybe you’re lucky. Is it that non-mask wearers don‘t care about the poor clerk stuck there 8 hours a day, possibly breathing in enough virus from one or multiple people to reach viral load? Is this what Jesus teaches us about being each other’s keeper? As long as it doesn’t inconvenience me, then I’ve got your back.

or if we did, we showed no symptoms: And if you did catch the virus but remained asymptomatic, then you were spreading it to others, particularly if you go out and about not wearing a mask. Maybe you’re the most diligent mask-wearing, hand washing, socially distancing family ever, in which case, thanks from the rest of society.

The family I know that all caught CV on vacation, then had to drive home, through multiple states, using gas pumps and bathrooms, maybe even convenience store or restaurants. I assume they wore masks but at least one of them was exhaling the virus as they went along.

I am a 2nd property owner, which is in another state 12 hours drive away. I cancelled two visits this spring and I don’t have any plans for going there the rest of this year.

hhireno, no worries. I'm a mask-wearer.

Ida, I thought your article you tagged above about churches/religion/Covid sounded interesting. However, when I encountered the T word in the first 10 seconds I stopped reading. Do you have other articles about the issue which are not political?

Littlebug, the "T" statement in the article was contextual and germane to the comments about religious persecution, but I have redacted it for you and pasted the rest of the article below:

By Jason Elam [portion redacted]

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to spread like wildfire across the United States, many local health officials and government leaders are mandating that their citizens wear masks when outside of their homes and restrict non-essential activities that might put people in close proximity to one another and risk spreading the virus. Of particular concern are “super-spreader” venues like bars, funeral homes, and churches.

Religious Persecution?

Obviously, no one enjoys being told where they can go and what they are allowed to do by the government. Most U.S. Americans take their freedoms seriously–especially when it comes to matters of faith. Some U.S. churchgoers are vehemently opposed to the government restricting churches from holding gatherings–even during the pandemic. Some are having a downright visceral reaction angrily pledging to continue meeting in spite of government restrictions. The controversy has given rise to a fresh round of claims of religious persecution ...

The Desiring God website published a guest post yesterday by The Gospel Coalition’s Managing Editor Matt Smethhurst arguing that Christians must gather for worship services, even in the midst of a pandemic. Smethhurst calls this “the ministry of attendance”. All of this begs the question, just how essential are church gatherings to the Christian faith? After more than twenty years of local church ministry, my answer is: “not very”.

What is Essential?

The Sunday morning gathering–featuring congregational singing, a lengthy sermon, and public prayers taking place in a large building designated specifically for those purposes–is a thoroughly modern invention that would be unrecognizable to first century Christians. Christianity thrived for centuries without large scale weekly gatherings. In the early church the focus seemed to be more on shared meals, ministry to the economically challenged, private prayer, and interpersonal relationships shared in homes and smaller settings.

Since the time of Constantine, however, large gatherings with public expressions of faith have largely come to define Christianity in the eyes of many. Once Christianity became the state religion of the world’s most dominant empire, the prevailing mentality seemed to become “the bigger the better”–a mindset still very much on display in the modern megachurch age. Can anyone imagine Jesus of Nazareth frequenting our modern church sanctuaries with our flags of empire and million dollar budgets for staff and programs primarily for the benefit of the membership?

Redefining Essential

The modern Sunday morning worship gathering is not essential to genuine Christian faith. The Christian faith is rooted first and foremost in the life and ministry of Jesus of Nazareth. We can faithfully follow His call to pray, bear each other’s burdens, forgive one another, feed the hungry, care for the oppressed, and love our enemies without sermons and songs. While I’m grateful for the inspiration and encouragement offered during Sunday morning gatherings, they are no substitute for day to day lives lived in Christ-centered community. In the midst of a viral pandemic, there is simply no excuse for large gatherings of people singing and releasing such significant viral load potentially spreading the virus and potentially killing the most vulnerable among us–many of whom are the most faithful members of local churches. Sometimes, loving our neighbors looks like wearing a mask, praying at home, and maybe getting some pastoral encouragement online rather than in person.

Of course, spending time with one another in genuine relationship is absolutely essential to a vibrant faith. During the ongoing pandemic, however, we might have to get creative about how to go about that without endangering those we love.

Man - I checked out for a bit, but saw your comment. KSWL answered for me with a statement that made more sense.

ME: And those are the people who chose self over community, even if their actions are deemed safe.

KSWL: Just because a local authority has deemed an activity safe doesn’t mean it is safe. But people who justify unsafe behavior by claiming they complied with all local laws or mandates or guidelines are not acting in good faith IMHO.

Exactly, 1929Spanish, because, whether or not we say the "T" word, this entire pandemic is steeped in politics.

Pinkmt, early on in the pandemic I read a great piece by a new york city resident who got infected explain how they contained the infection from her husband and child in a small apartment. I decided then on a similar plan for my family if one of us is exposed or infected.

She stayed in one room and had meals left at her closed door. They knocked then left she opened her door masked to get food. They used all disposable cups, plates and cutlery that she tossed in a trash in her room. They had two bathrooms so one was just for her use during quarentine. It was not attached to a bedroom so she wore a mask when she used it always. She sprayed lysol behind her on the way back to her room. She did this for two weeks. No one in her house became infected. If you have two bedrooms you could do a similar plan. Good luck.

Pink, the only obvious answer given the restrictions you suffer with lack of testing in your area is for your husband not to undertake the trip if he cannot effectively quarantine when he returns. I’m very sorry for you personally that he doesn’t understand or acknowledge that. With respect to denial, drug abuse and alcoholism are completely different situations than being one person of many in a pandemic. I don’t think the parallels you’ve drawn with denial as a coping mechanism in those situations are really comparable to those denying the veracity and /or severity of Covid-19.

Just to clarify, I think this is Political but not just Trump. For example, our democratic governor (CA) was doing a really good job before he bowed to pressure to reopen too fast, putting us in the situation are today.

Pink, if your husband decides to make the trip to visit grandchildren, is it possible for him to be tested in their community prior to making the trip home?

Being a retired teacher, I was particularly interested in the take on this in schools.

https://www.cmstevensmary.com/post/note-from-the-principal-this-fall-your-classroom-will-be-equipped-with-a-lion?fbclid=IwAR3rV8NsC7fbnIK-tIM4pn0ROK8efL-w1U4fFt_F5DwCg4AbCFNzoaI8H5I

FWIW, I put on a mask when I pick up my groceries - because my car is a hatchback - and I often leave it on for awhile afterwards while driving away. I always imagine someone seeing me alone in my car with a mask on and thinking I'm not clear on the concept😄

And I just listened to this podcast earlier - In The Bubble with Andy Slavitt. He's the former head of Medicare and Medicaid Services and has been doing great work in the realm of public health. this episode is with Larry Brilliant, the man who helped eradicate smallpox, and, sorry to say, Mr. Brilliant says he is fearful.

https://www.lemonadamedia.com/podcast/what-no-one-knows-about-covid-19-with-larry-brilliant/

"[39:37] Larry Brilliant: First of all, I am a fear monger in the same sense that a fishmonger is selling real fish. We tend to use that term to mean somebody who’s selling snake oil. But I’m not a snake oil salesman. I’m fearful of this disease. It is a frightening disease. I’m also fearful of the people who, either out of ignorance or malice, misrepresent the seriousness of this disease to the detriment of their friends and loved ones. How will they feel when they tell their mother or father, sister or brother, that it’s fake, it’s a hoax, and one of them dies, which is happening more? There’s now a Twitter column that lists all the 20 and 30 and 40 year olds who died at COVID parties, or who deliberately infected themselves and whose last words are, “oh, my God, I made a horrible mistake.” That’s a burden that I don’t wish on anybody. This is a serious time. It requires a far more serious response than we’ve had so far. We can’t joke or slough this off. This is not something that’s going to go away in April. It’s not going to disappear in the heat. It’s not under control. It’s not a hoax. It’s not those things. It is a pandemic, and it is the worst pandemic in any of our lifetimes. And we’re learning about it every day, as you would for any novel virus. By the way, there have been 50 novel viruses in the last several decades. There are two or three new ones every year. Get used to it. We are in the age of pandemics. This only happens to be the latest and the worst, but it’s certainly not going to be the last. "

KSWL we personally understand lots and lots. We will put our thinking caps on and come up with a way to quarantine as best we can given the resources in our area. Anyone who thinks testing is possible in such a situation hasn't tried without known exposure. I've tried for months, for example, to figure out a way for my father's private care giver to get a weekly test. Not possible in our area since she is private. We try to get Dad to do the mask thing, that's the best we can do. It's angering and frustrating but we've given it our best shot and now have to accept the danger and risk, I cannot control my father. We distance and mask around him, very upsetting to him so it's an ongoing frustration and upset. Private citizens just wanting to get tested is a whole other ball game, particularly in disadvantaged communities. But the point of my post was, how many other grandparents are in a similar situation when it comes to visiting grandkids?! How about folks not being able to travel to see their elderly parents?! Thousands and thousands. It's frustrating and causes anger and it is also unreasonable to think that we should stay in this level of a carp holding pattern for a year or more. Denial will not solve the problem! We need more public health measures and responses.

I'm a school teacher, teaching in schools has caused me several two month long bouts with lung problems due to side effects of the flu, so the problem of schools transmitting diseases is very common so it is anger causing and frustrating that we haven't come up with better designs, better retrofits and better organizing measures to make public spaces safe even prior to this, and now no sense of national purpose or urgency either. We often live on the myth that we are islands unto ourselves, the virus is a natural phenomenon that does not care about myths.

Also, the tragedy is, that when hubs makes the sacrifice to visit his family, it isn't just a matter of what he knows or believes, or even his immune compromised cancer surviving son, but the whole extended family, over which he has no control. So the whole thing is going to be an exercise in frustration, but one he is willing to try to manage, due to wanting to see his grandkids just a few times a year. On the flip side, I get furious when I see my friends posting pics of them with their grandkids who live in the same city. The main problem is not the visits, they are managing their risks I'm sure just like we are, it's the play dates with other kids, and parties, all with no social distancing or masks. Our neighbors have had some big parties with kids for example, and now our neighbor kid whom we have hung out with for years, refuses to wear a mask around us so we've had to curtail his visits. We could manage this so much easier if we didn't have to travel, so it is frustrating and angering to see people who have so many more resources and advantages, not utilizing them and dissing them. Advantages that we would give our right arm to have! Of course this is always the case. How many folks who have arthritis complain about their joints aching, and yet don't consider those who are confined to wheelchairs and are so much worse off. At least our grandkids aren't in a refugee camp somewhere . . .