First, let me say that I'm not a commercial vendor or business. I have more varieties & seeds than I can grow and offer my extras at a cheap price to cover shipping, special envelopes, expenses, ebay & Paypal fees, etc. What I make is miniscule--it's almost a break-even in small amounts, and considering what it costs me in supplies & utilities to grow them til harvest, it may even be a net loss. Any money goes towards food on the table & my mother's Rx's or supplies. Without getting too personal here, she's diabetic & mid-level Alzheimers and I have more than 1 handicap/disability. As many here may know, I've given away many seeds for free in the past, both here & other places, as well as sometimes trading & bartering. This is just a way to get some harder to find seeds out there to people to grow, some aren't easily available commercially, (Olive Hill was great this year!) so it's a good cause both ways. I've distributed probably 20+ packs for free this year at the Buffalo-Niagara Tomato Tastefest party, in addition to donating 60 packs to the event as winner prizes, some still unclaimed (actually 50 packs--I won Smallest Tomato category! Anybody that won please contact me by e-mail if you still haven't picked your choices--yes, YOU get to choose 10 packs!) Anyway, generally 20-30 seeds per pack, even more for some small seeded varieties... about 300 tomato varieties, it increases every year. While I often use generic descriptions, I also try to include personal comments on how they did or what I thought of them. Pics are available for most so you know what they should look like, what the seeds came out of. Many are not bagged but I use some unique practices like isolation, distraction planting, timing, location/selection, etc. Commercial places don't bag blossoms, though they do grow larger #'s of plants to reduce their chances of crossing. I actually make it very difficult for crosses to occur. You really have to throw the plant distance/closeness theory out the window and think outside the box on this one--I've actually found that others that plant with sufficient or great space between plants often get crossed seeds and I don't. Plus I often regrow my seeds the following year to insure what it's supposed to be, not just germinating to check leaf type. If you feel you've got a variety that isn't what it was meant to be, I encourage everyone to e-mail me at matermark@gmail.com to let me know about it and I'll pull it and make good on it. And if I grow a variety from well known commercial sources that you've already mentioned here, and it's not correct, (yes, it happens many times, from many you've recommended above), I come right out and say it's suspect (say, PL Watermelon Beefsteak or WinsAll) & don't offer it, pull it or replace it. I usually outright discard seeds and try another source if it doesn't seem like what it should be, instead of selling those seeds or giving them away as "bonus" seeds like some often-recommended-here companies do--ie: Azoychka bonus seeds many are familiar with....plus you know what I've went through re: Dr. Lyle... Yes, many places charge shipping or handling charges that often are higher than the seeds... plus many people compromise what they grow because of high S/H costs incurred from ordering from multiple places. I've found ways to cut those costs considerably, so I pay the shipping. I don't really have any minimum order levels though try to stay in nice rounded numbers like $3-5-10, and have even worked with people with smaller quantities of each variety, of course it takes much more time & is more expensive for me to pull 20 packs of just 5 seeds than 5 packs of 20 seeds. And you don't need to be an ebay member either, it's just that that is my most common, easily accessable outlet, and I use it in the spring mostly, when I have all my seeds together, ready to decide which to plant. I also put my extra plants on craigslist in May for a buck or 2. So, once again, I'm not a business, and this isn't an ad or an offer--I'm an enthusiast. Like I said, if someone is looking for just 1 variety or so, I often help at no cost or SASE if it's something I have enough of and easy to get to & have time. Hope this helps. Mark, who must harvest peppers, take a "non-compliant" diabetic mother shopping for Halloween candy "for Trick or Treaters" she says, carve 2 Atlantic Giant pumpkins in the cold, and hopefully finish planting my garlic. Still no frost yet here in the metropolis named after "beautiful river", but expecting one tonight, almost a month later than usual...

1) A reporter called the governor's PR man Eli with a video to get a comment on. He thought it was about the ethics woman's baby's father, so he saw her. (There was a missing video of the ethics woman meeting with her one night stand, Peter,) It was a video of 2 people stealing a voting machine/ballot box. The reporter said it was of Peter stealing his election. 2) The music video was being analyzed by the blond investigator. She found comments online and then heard the sound of bowling balls, proving that the TV show stole the actual copy of the original satiric song, even though later they made their own copy. 3) Kalinda was pulled over by the woman cop who had an affair with her. Kalinda was mad at her because she clearly blabbed to the Irish(?) lawyer from LG, who commented on the conversation the two women had had that night about Katie Perry. The policewoman said she does not like to lose friends, indicating Kalinda is a friend. 4) The ethics in politics woman introduced Eli to Peter Bogdonovich, the father of her baby.

Well, as im reading, all of you have such great input on what the actions i should take, but im not sure everyone understands the situation, i can suggest counseling and some other types of help we can get, but it doesn't seem to matter, because if i suggest it, she will say "your right YOU do need it." just like the other day she was telling me that i needed to back off on our son, MY argueing is affecting him, as if she never done anything wrong, its not just my argueing, its hers too. but she doesn't see it. that way, another thing, our son backing her up in the situation of our argueing she doesn't see anything wrong with that, even though she knows our son is in the wrong, and for her to admit that shes wrong would crush the whole essence of her being right all the time and she couldn't live that down. Thats why i say im in a NO WIN situation anymore. I can admit when im wrong, she cannot, even if she knows she is. and that alone is affecting me. Bottom line, no matter what happens, between anyone in our family, no matter whos fault it is, SHE SEES THAT SHE DOES NO WRONG no matter what, and the blame goes to me. I rather just not even talk to her anymore, its pointless, i can't win. she is also emotionalless, i mean that to the extreme, she has no emotion anymore, but she also doesn't see that as affecting our lives. In fact her quote was " i don't have to have emotion to show that i care about someone" if im not mistaken, isn't caring an emotion. Im so frustrated, and i honestly don't know what else i can do. In her eyes, im root of the problems.

"You are right, but this is about extras, not CS. If SM feels that on top of CS and regular necessities SD requires (during her 50/50) that BM is expecting Dad (and therefore SM) to pay for extras, I can see her problem." The problem is that not only are there bound to be plenty of costs for "extras" that are going to be incurred in raising children (I mean, if we're considering anything beyond food ---but not necessarily FAVORITE food, just food--- and, like, Hanes 3-pack basic white tees as clothing and the cheapest uglist Walmart notebook and Dixon Ticonderoga #2 pencils as "extras")... but that the definition of "extras" is very debatable... "It would feel like BM considers her husband's money as separate and not to be used for her child, but SM's to be part of Dad's available income. Who would be purchasing the sports equipment if there was no SM, and therefore no item to borrow? Assuming Dad's income was the same, and his CS and custody the same, could he afford this item on his own, or would he ask BM to split the cost? (BM could use some of her CS, or ask her husband to help.)If both parents were still single, how would the item be procured?" I just gathered that there happened to be already in existence in the house an item of the kind that was required, which was not being used by anyone else at the time it was going to be needed. In that case, why SHOULDN'T OP's daughter be able to use it? Is it inconceivable that OP's daughter would loan something to her step-sister in a similar situation? Has that never occured before? I mean, yeah, I suppose that for everyone to be perfectly even and everything to be perfectly fair, there should be two of absolutely everything in the house for each of the girls, no matter how easily worked out a sharing plan may be... just so nobody feels like BM is "getting off scot free" or "taking advantage" of the already-purchased hockey stick (or whatever it is). But why spend the extra money (which Dad would be, since he's presumably already paid for half of his step-daughter's item, we can presume he'd be paying half of this item too) or insist or suggest that someone else (BM) spend extra money when there is a perfectly good item right there, which will not be in use, and which the user of (step-sister) has already agreed to lending? It's not costing step-sister or SP anything to lend it, and if it's damaged it won't cost them anything either b/c Dad & BM would pay for a replacement. The only reason would be to (pardon the pun) "stick it" to the person(s) who would be asked to pay for a second one, in one way or the other. Now, obviously, if the item is lost or damaged, or if OP's daughter will be using such an item more frequently in the future, then it's appropriate to purchase another. But to go around and imply that anything shared in the house that's an "extra" has to be purchased separately even for one-time use is just not very family-like. In intact families, no one would dream of proposing a waste of money (on anyone's part) or excessive consumption (and clutter?) of this sort as a general practice... I guess that's what I find so colossally sad in these blended family situations. That, as much as many SP's regard the situation like the SK's are "spoiled" b/c they have two households, it's just as often that they end up getting shafted b/c everything gets nickel-and-dimed and bickered over to death. And I'm not even really thinking about in the *material* sense, but psychologically... How do you think it feels growing up where every little item or expense you require as a kid is argued over, debated, and you're made to feel like you're such a source of financial burden and your parents arguing all the time and the expenses paid for are all conditional on how well you (or your mom) behave? Like someone's sitting there all "ca-ching! ca-ching!" every time you express a cereal preference that costs an extra 80 cents, or scowl ("deduct a dollar for the "extra"-nice notebook b/c of your attitude! I don't HAVE to do anything for you!")... and you may, perhaps, be in the regular presence of a step-sibling who (b/c his/her parents aren't divorced) doesn't face the same kind of nickel-and-diming, or you feel like you have to run a decathalon of requests and requests-for-requests to DARE to borrow the item of its "rightful" owner, whom it WAS procured for, presumably without much hubub... I CERTAINLY can understand the need to budget to the point of splitting hairs (b/c there's no choice) when funds are tight (but in OP's case it didn't sound like that was necessarily the case)... but when the situation is more comfortable, nickel-and-diming is unnecessary and rather depressing. Not to mention an enormous waste of energy and a veritable minefield packed chock-full of potential explosions at every little teensy turn. (Which, btw, ain't so great for the marriage, either...) Come up with a plan, an agreement, based on reality, decency, common sense, and what you think "family" should mean and general principles of what will/won't be split (or set a dollar amount limit, or an age limit, or limit the extracurricualr activities by quantity). Figure out and decide once and for all on the definitions of "extras" you and spouse agree on and everything should fall into place. If this can't be agreed upon between current spouses, it is not the ex-spouse's fault, and they shouldn't be dragged into the mess. If the CS arrangement is unsatisfactory to both current spouses, seek to have it changed instead of whining/nickel-and-diming/b.s. psychological games. If it's satisfactory to one spouse but not SP, or if expenditures just CANNOT be agreed upon no matter what, then maybe consider splitting finances. But acknowledge that it is the CURRENT SPOUSES who cannot agree on expenditures or come up with a workable plan, so it isn't anyone else's fault or burden to bear if you two can't work it out between yourselves.