I never host but I am expected to cook the food most of the time. 100% of the times when my parents host i do most or all of the cooking. If my sister hosts I do a lot of it as well. The difference is that if my sister hosts she will usually do the main protein and I will do all the sides. My parents will not do that. Anyway, that is all that is expected of me during the holidays,so i can't complain.

I don't expect anything of them as hosts except that they provide the ingredients I asked for. They don't always live up to that, so I have to improvise or go get it myself. Oh well.

As my mom has gotten older and less able, I've been cooking more and more of the meal. It's still at her house, since she has the space, but we're all stepping up and taking care of all the work.

This is the first year I'm cooking everything but the mashed potatoes, which my cousin is bringing.

Mom is still the hostess, though. We gather and eat and visit and then go home, no other special activities. I like to stay home on Friday and just be lazy and putter about the house and gorge on leftovers.

We live the farthest away - an hour to an hour and a half, depending on whose house we are going to - so we rarely host Christmas or Thanksgiving. When Mom was alive, Christmas was always at her house but with Sister and me doing the cooking and cleaning up afterwards. Tomorrow we’ll be at Sister’s. The next day, we’ll be at DD’s in-laws, they were friends of ours before our kids got together. Having your child married to the child of friends certainly makes for easier holidays.

Sister put me in charge of Friday morning breakfast. DD’s MIL wanted me to bring a non-green vegetable and 3 desserts. Most everything will be prepared at my house.

Thursday will be wall to wall college football on the TV with eating between games. Friday may be too. Christmas evening is nearly always spent playing Trivial Pursuit, even the year that Sister was in the hospital on Christmas. We all piled into her room for Trivial Pursuit Christmas evening!

My Friday after Thanksgiving tradition is not going shopping. In fact, not going anywhere unless the weather turns magically spectacular. We have plans for Sat. night though, going to a concert.

Football. Especially if the Bears are playing. Black Friday has become a week-long event. And the only important tradition is to make your guests feel at home and then usher them out the door when you run out of food.

Do you mean expectations of "but this is how we always do it?" When I took over the family party planning, I had to adapt it to how my house works. The guests adapted too.

I mean, what could they want? A decent meal that's well prepared (i.e., cooked properly and no food poisoning), tasty, and plentiful, a place to sit, a warm or cool house depending on the season and with some leniency for the heat that large groups generate of their own. A place to hang coats and set drippy umbrellas. A nicely appointed, clean powder room with nice soaps (I have solid and pump), disposable guest towels, lotion, some ladies' products, and more tp easy to find and reach. Interesting and pleasant company if you have control over that (sometimes you just have to accept them as is if they're family). Bonus for a place to park. :) Double bonus when it's a really big party in a tough to park neighborhood, for kids to shag cars, or even professional valets.

Yes. A table nicely set. You are the CEO of the party so you must have a plan for the coats, any games you think are a good idea, who brings what to the dinner and who brings who to your house. If you want the dishes done or prefer that they wait quietly on the table. There are many responsibilities that are on you that create a nice get together. The answers do not need to be formal but little things like alcohol for those who like it --unless your values do not allow this. Having other options to drink and always a big pitcher of water available. Set it up so people do not need to ask for every little thing. The actual food and what is served is far less important than the staging. Good luck!

Bragu, I always host, and I rule with an iron fist. Empress of the Universe, you know. (grin)

No politics allowed. None of us drink. If there's a family squabble with any one, leave it in your car, my house is Switzerland, we're neutral here. The kids run wild, both daughters and my stepdaughter will probably bring their dogs. The Princess will try (yet again) to beat me at Scrabble while Madison (age 8) "helps" her.

Our Thanksgiving dinner is Saturday, as my son in law is a Detective with a local police department and my oldest daughter works the midnight shift as a CNA in a local assisted living facility. Neither work on Thanksgiving but they both have to go to their Dad's and to their in-laws' homes. I'm less demanding, I don't care what day it is.

We'll eat at 4 pm to give Amanda time to sleep as she works Friday night AND Saturday night. Ashley will be with her DH and two daughters, Amanda with her DH and The Princess and Bud, my 84 year old Mother, my brother who is "eccentric" and smokes like a chimney which I don't allow in the house, but he's allowed to use the garage. Plus Elery's daughter will be here from Ohio with her husband and they will probably bring their dog because the kennels are full for the holiday. So add 4 dogs and 2 cats to the mix, LOL.

Elery is actually looking forward to just sitting and watching football on Thanksgiving tomorrow, while I start prepping things like cranberry sauce and making sure linens are clean, etc. I'll make a meal that WE like for tomorrow, and gear up for Saturday.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Annie

SWMBO makes the desserts, most of the sides, the appetizers, and sets the table and decorations. I occasionally polish silver as I did tonight.

Here she is starting to set the table. We'll have 20. A friend who is living in her studio and camper during the two weeks between leaving her apartment and moving into her rental house might possibly come to, in which case I have no idea where she'll sit but we'll figure it out.

I do the mains and some sides.

When guests arrive SWMBO entertains them or puts them to work, as appropriate. I cook and hang out in the kitchen.

During dinner I bring out plates unless we're doing buffet as we will tomorrow. I clear dishes and wash. Unfortunately tomorrow's dinner is being served on fancy gold rimmed dishes and glasses, so I'll have to hand wash everything, my Hobart dishwasher can't help me much.

A lot of politics is usually talked at our table, local and national. Never sports, unless you count bike racing and Formula One. Sometimes economics, and just plain silliness too.

I also bring up the wine. I'm normally pretty indifferent to wine, as in we just open whatever guests bring. But we are nearing the end of a decade so I will probably go find some good stuff downstairs. No real drinkers in tomorrow's crowd but we'll have the makings for a couple basic cocktails.

Beautiful!!

I agree, seagrass, that table is lovely, even worth washing dishes by hand!

Annie

That setting is super impressive! How nice to have so much space for 2 tables.

I was blindsided yesterday when an extra 6 people showed up, and I had already planned for and set the table for 8. Had to scramble at the last minute setting up a card table, finding a tablecloth, getting extra dishes, napkins and utensils, when I was supposed to be getting the food ready. We had plenty of food for all, but bless her heart, my dear 89 year old mother had forgotten she invited more people until they showed up. We ate a bit later than normal, and everybody enjoyed themselves and the food.

I should've known better - she invites everybody she knows - and sometimes doesn't know - for every holiday & get together. Thank goodness the rest of the holidays will be buffet style and not as formal.

Oh love-a Mama!