I moved out of my parents' home 30 years ago. When I was single and first married, I (we) would come "home' for holidays, etc for short visits and my parents gave up their room and bath for me (us) to use. We now have two kids, and we continued our visits when the kids were little. The kids are now 19 and 20 and no longer want to visit Grandma, they have school and jobs and their own friends. Now when we visit, we take a plane (Jetblue is cheap), rent a car and get a motel room. We really like staying in a motel, we have our own bath and feel like it's a "vacation". It's also costly, but it works for us.

Depends on what my dad wants. Usually we stay at his house but once he paid for a motel for us to stay in. I can't remember why, I think it was because his plumbing needed fixing or something. Oh, and the last time we went we stayed at my brother's house. He lives alone with his dog.

When I go back "home" I stay with my siblings. Which ever town I visit, that has a sibling, I stay with them.

When we go to Jerry's siblings, we stay with them.

All always stay with us, cept on my 50th. I reserved a block of rooms, and everyone besides our kids, and my sisters had a room there.

I LOVE company.

But, now in this house it will be different. We no longer have a guest room.

Company has to sleep on inflatable beds, in the exercise/computer/sewing room.

We will see, how that goes, prolly next March, when Jerry turns 60.

Moni

I don't think I've ever stayed with relatives, ever--except for at my Dsis's shore house. Of course, that's a special situation, my dad built it when I was 4, we grew up going there every summer, and when Mom needed to sell it, sis bought it to keep it available for the family. Now, my close relatives, all live relatively nearby (an hour or less), so there really isn't any need to stay with them. If I were going to visit cousins or such, I'd be much more comfortable staying in a hotel, rather than putting them out.

On the other hand, my dd has become quite comfortable staying overnight at the country house (our 'new' house, not the 'old' one where she grew up). She was even saying yesterday, that she's going to bring one of those little plastic drawer things to put in the guest room so she can store some things there. I'm glad she feels so welcome in the new place. Especially since if she goes home at night, it's an hour drive over dark, deserted country roads.

I guess my issues are with not putting the siblings *out*. They have families, and putting up an additional three would put someone on the floor in a sleeping bag.

I don't travel if I can't afford to pay for myself. And seriously, I know my sibs would have air mattresses and such, but I'm over 50, I'm grumpy, and I don't want to sleep on an air mattress (I've done it before, and I will never do it again).

So if we visit, we stay in a hotel, and none of the siblings take offense, as far as I can tell.

I expect to feel like family, which means relaxed, working together, no pretentions. I don't expect to be treated any differently than when/if I lived in that house every day, like a working member of the team. If I arrive and the bathroom needs cleaned, I'll clean it and not give it a thought. If dinner hasn't been planned, I'll go to the grocery and come back and cook and enjoy it. I want to feel like I belong, not like a guest. Plus, I bring such a group that I really expect to take care of my own.

I think when my parents visit they expect the same. We will unbunk beds and give them a room to themselves w/two twin beds, move a couple kids elsewhere. But sometimes the sheets are still in the dryer, so mom will make the beds. Mom and I pitch in, whichever house we're at. My dad comes expecting a to-do list, he doesn't like to sit around very long. He starts looking for something to fix, so I save things for him. ;o)

DH's parents don't visit us really. Sometimes they stop for a night (and I'm talking 12 hours total) on their way to/from Florida where they spend winters. Last time they got a hotel room farther up the road and didn't stop here at all. They pass within 10 miles of our house on their 1300 mile, 2-day trip and didn't stop. It's not us, it's them. LOL. MIL can't stand that we have animals in the house (they're cats, not goats!). I just think the chaos of our normal life is too much for them, even though we really try to tone it down for them. When they do come for the night, it's an inspection stop. They expect to find the house and even our cars spotless and be fed a homecooked meal. We do our best to pass the inspection, cleaning every nook and cranny for days before they get here.

When we go to DH's parents' in Ohio, we have plenty of beds for sleeping and are well taken care of for meals and comforts, they won't let us lift a finger to do anything, and I'm not even allowed to use the kitchen sink. But it is NOT relaxing. It is 4 days of tension. Even though they ask us to come, it disrupts their routine more than they are really prepared for and we can feel the "vibe" of mixed feelings about us being there. They are retired and used to/enjoy the empty, quiet house. So we gush our gratitude and I follow the kids around with wet wipes.

At my parents' we are more squished for space, and cooking/cleaning duties are shared between mom and myself. My mother still works full time, she takes vacation days when we are there. I don't expect her to spend them waiting on me and mine. I'm not only allowed to use the kitchen, I'm expected to. It's not the house I grew up in, it's small, built after we moved out and just for the 2 of them with occassional guests. But it's still "home" b/c I'm treated like family, not a guest. We are taken care of, but not without expectations to pitch in. It's so much more relaxing!

I have no "home" to return to. My parents died when I was still in school, and the house was sold and our belongings too.

Since then, we 4 siblings have moved to the West. I am close to my younger sister and recently returned to frequent visits with my brother. We three live within an hour of each other and get along great. They love my kids, who are young adults, and my kids love them. Since we are so close, we don't spend the night in each other's homes.

I am the second of four children; and my hubs is the oldest of five. Both of his parents and both of my parents had died before hubs and I ever met.

My brother died in 1994; and both of my sisters live within 15 miles of us.

One of hubs' brothers lives in Nevada; two in Southern California; and one in Illinois. We've never gone to Illinois; and when we go to Nevada or Southern California we always stay at a hotel.

We have a four-bedroom, three-bathroom home, but only one guest bedroom (with a queen bed). Only two of hubs' four brothers have been here to visit, and both stayed with us (well, the brother, the wife, and infant child), but that was many years ago -- I think it was 1991 for one of them, and 1992 for the other.

"The brothers, et al." do plan family get-togethers/reunions, but they're the sort of thing where EVERYONE stays in the same hotel.

When we go to mom and her dh's, we stay at their home because they have room for everyone. My dh and I share the cleaning/kid duty with no problems from anyone. I do basic cleaning while visiting but generally don't do deep cleaning. I would do what ever mom asked though. I feel I will be needed more as they grow older and I'm kind of looking forward to helping out.
Now,,dh, he often does some heavy duty thing with mom's dh to help them get a complex job done. He enjoys that because it gives him something important to do and of course his help makes things better for his in laws.

When my family visits, they stay in our finished basement so they can have some privacy. They can sleep in, read, watch tv, until they decide to come up and visit. It works for us.

I've only had one "argument" with my FIL and mom's dh. Both times I left very quickly with out a word. I think everyone knows I don't put up with stupid crap more than one day. That's just the way I work. Life is to short to live with chaos.

i go home to chicago (from orlando) a couple times a yr, atleast. i still have my place there so i don't usually stay at relatives. we/i always fly, it's 9+ hrs drive and i don't get much time off, so driving is a waste no matter how much airfare is. i have stayed at my dad's house when it was super cold in my house at christmas but i feel weird not having my own space.

i often stay at hotels in downtown chicago as a treat, may fav is the Pennisula on michigan ave :-) which does make my dad mad cuz he doesn't want to drive into the city to see me but sometimes i just want to stay somewhere luxurious and not have to pick up after myself. it's far more convienent to stay downtown when most of the things i go home to do are downtown already. ~ liz

We stay in a hotel. We prefer it that way. We do eat some meals at siblings homes but we also go out to eat. I think once their kids are out of the house we will stay with them to save money on hotel cost. But maybe not.

we stayed once with fil and never again..it's just much easier to stay at the local best western...

when my sister was living, we stayed with her. but then she had the space...and who can give up being on a lake? lol...

when i visited my mom, it always was an emergency, so was alone and stayed with her...

when dd1 (sil and 3 dgd) comes to town it's always with us...but then with the "empty nest", have the space, lol...and UNLIKE her mil (get this, the dog breeder) i allow her to bring the dog...

If it is just me, I stay with my Mom. If it all of us, we get a room. The only reason I stay with her is so I can have as much time as possible to spend with her and to help. I have only stayed with siblings once when it was only me and that was a long time ago. When relatives come to visit here in CA, they ALWAYS stay with us. I think they are too cheap to get a hotel room, on both sides.
Clare

We lived in New Hampshire for 24 years and now reside in Pennsylvania. My siblings and parents all live in New Jersey and have always opened their doors to my family. I tried to alternate sleeping arrangements over the years so no one got sick of us. They always stayed with us in return.

In fact, the best thing about my family is our shared love of animals. Several of our homes are dog friendly and the welcome mat and water bowl is always out!

My trip to New Jersey now is only a two hour drive, so I rarely spend the night. It is reassuring to know I always have a place to stay when and if I stay the night.

Kim

Being elderly, our parents are gone. I have no siblings. Hubby has two siblings but we never see them. Our "family" is our daughter and family. If we were to go there, we'd stay at a nearby hotel. Their house is very small. When they come to visit us, they stay with us. I wouldn't want it any other way and we have the room.

My parents are gone, 2 sisters live close, Dotmom (MIL) and her DH are close. When we go to visit our adult kids, we always stay in a hotel.