It is unlikely that any 'asbestos dust' is going to fall through cracks into the basement; large particles might, but not 'dust'. If your removal releases any fibers, those are going to become airborne real easy and remain suspended for a time. Testing would be the way to go and then you can make your decision about removal.

I've had both tile and hardwood in my kitchens. The tile was very easy to take care of, indestructible, and impervious to spills. However if you dropped a glass, or someone knocked a jelly jar off out of the fridge, smash! into a million pieces. It was hard on my feet and back, and cold in winter -- radiant heat would've fixed that, of course. Hardwood is more comfortable to walk on, warmer even without radiant heat, and more forgiving when you drop something on it. It isn't waterproof if you have a major flood, but a good finish will keep everyday drips from harming it. Sand and grit are the biggest enemies because they become like sandpaper ground in with every step. We have some scratches from the dog skidding around the corners but it's a distressed type of flooring so I don't mind so much. If you are doing radiant heat, what type of wood floor would you put down? Some floors move (expand and shrink) more than others, and radiant heat can make it worse. An engineered floor will move the least. Antique lumber moves some. New wood planks will move the most, QS less so than flat sawn. (These are generalities of course -- dryness of the wood and subfloor, species of wood, and board widths are huge factors as well.)

Just keep going with the natural finish. Having slightly darker trim (in the same tones) should be fine. You have enough of the deeper coloured wood to allow the trim to stay darker...it is a way to tie things together. If you wish to change out the trim, you will need to look at changing out ALL the wood tones in the home...ouch! The trim+wood cabinets will allow each one to remain as-is without looking out of place. In design, the INSTANT you 'duplicate' something (colour, pattern, material, shape, etc) you create a 'design element'. Which is what will happen if you leave the darker trim alone. It will duplicate the darker colours of the wood cabinetry throughout the house = Tah Dah! Design Element! Congratulations.

Here is the BIGGEST sign that engineered hardwoods are *recommended (but not required): "We live in the midwest and have extreme changes in humidity." That's your red flag RIGHT THERE. Now that's not to say solid hardwoods are NOT allowed. They are. But an engineered product has a better CHANCE of dealing with the climate than a solid hardwood. Now on to the Pink Elephant in the room: humidity control via your heating/cooling system (aka HVAC system). Did you pay to UPGRADE your HVAC system to ALLOW hardwood in your home? Do you have BOTH A/C AS WELL AS a humidifier/dehumidifier attached to that HVAC system? I know the midwest can have HIGH summer time humidity (especially during storm/tornado season) and LOW humidity in the winters (to the point that fuzzy socks cause shocks when you touch the door nobs in your house). The HUMIDITY control is THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT PART of your build. No I am not kidding. Make sure you look at the specifications of your unit (you bought it...you should know what it is and how it functions). Ask the questions of the HVAC COMPANY that installed it. Now onto hardwoods. If you have the RIGHT HVAC system you can have any wood you want. Solid or engineered it won't matter. Now let's look at the quality of the products you are looking at. Shaw 1/2" hickory = thin. The WEAR LAYER is what you are looking at. A nicely made product should have 3mm wear layer or thicker. A 1/2" engineered plank is considered rather thin but can be acceptable SO LONG AS the wear layer is decent. Next is the Asian Walnut. This is a cute way of saying Acacia. Now Acacia has two concepts. One is the Acacia TREE and the other is an Acacia bush (aka 'short leaf'). Sigh. The cheaper versions will be the bush. That means SHORT PLANKS. Like 11" - 48" (less than 1 foot long up to a MAXIMUM of 4 feet). Wow. That's short. Bella Cera website is NOTORIOUS for being difficult to find a specific species. You would have to send a link of the actual product you are looking at. My next question is what is the price range/budget you have for hardwood? You might want to work with a less exotic product if you want a higher quality wood floor. I would hate for you to pay all that money only to find out you picked one of the lowest level hardwoods on the market. But first things first: check your HVAC system and it's ability to keep the house a happy healthy humidity level specifically designed for keeping hardwoods happy.