Husbands relationship with his ex step son
HU-249048672
5 years ago
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HU-249048672
5 years agoRelated Discussions
My son doesn't like his step mom...
Comments (17)When my SD was 3-5 she lived with her mom and mom's BF who started 'nice' and turned angry and abusive. Mom is a screamer/thrower and apparently he's a screamer/hitter so you can imagine how much fun that was for SD. After the police had to intervene a few times DH was able to get custody, but that's a story for another day. Anywho, SD was witness to most of these fights and the police visits, and then dealt with her mom afterward as mom talked to her about it all like a girlfriend rather than her toddler daughter. For YEARS afterward if DH and I even seemed to disagree (and I don't exaggerate when I say we don't fight and rarely ever raise our voice) she would start to shake and run to her room. We used 'pick' on each other and play argue for fun, but we had to stop as SD thought we were serious. Mom and her new husband fight often and it still deeply effects her. When she was younger she blamed the fighting only on the BF/step as mom did no wrong, but once she hit about 11 she started to see that the pattern followed mom. Point being, if SM is loud, angry and hostile it could truly affect your son. I don't advocate jumping to conclusions or assumptions about their household, but some investigation is in order. Having your son talk to someone else to get a better idea of what goes on there and why your son dislikes SM so much is definitely in order. Perhaps dad should be involved as well? Hearing from a 3rd party might give it a little more weight... Good luck to you. Keep us posted....See MoreMy husband neglects my son He doesn't know how to be a step paren
Comments (1)Assuming that Nick was tired, or that he thought you were interfering with something that he should have chosen, or something, & that he really doesn't feel like Chad is someone to swear about, in other words, assuming there's something to work with here... One thing I've noticed that men *are* good at is detailed directions/instructions. 1. When alarm goes off, push button. 2. Throw back covers. 3. Put feet into slippers. 4. etc Send Chad to a friend's house for the evening, & take Nick for a walk or a bike ride & tire him out, since people are more open-minded & less likely to erupt when they're a little tired ("physically tired", not "stress-tired", do *not* try this when he's just spent 10 hours on an excruciating project at work!). When you get home (be sure this isn't on a football night, or whatever night he has something else on his mind), sit down with him & tell him that you want everyone to be happy in the family & that you want him & Chad to have a good, strong, enjoyable relationship, & that you want to try an experiment. & have an outline of your "project" in front of you, with one goal & a few basic or simple steps to achieve it. Tell him you haven't thought past this first small goal, you want to start small, & ask him for his ideas for more steps toward the goal. Agree to get together in a week to talk about how successful it's been & what can be done to fine-tune the steps or refine the goal. At that get-together, agree to have another meeting the following week. Praise every tiny improvement as it happens during the week. (We know to praise dogs, & yet we forget to do it with our nearest & dearest!) When the first goal has been attained, or is within reach, ask him for thoughts on another goal. That first get-together may give you a yes/no answer: if Nick is willing to give it a try, even if he's wary (& people are often wary of something new), hang in there, but if he blows up & tells you to mind your own business & stalks off *& doesn't come back to make up & explore the idea further after he's cooled down*... then I'd say you need to take your son & get outta Dodge. I wish all of you the best....See MoreMy husband cheated on me with the ex and now I resent my step son
Comments (3)Get back into counseling ASAP! I don't think your feelings are unusual nor do I think you are a terrible person for feeling that way, but if you don't deal with the hurt & anger you have, it will destroy you... your life & your marriage. There is very little that a forum like this can do to help you with this problem, I think it will really take professional help....See MoreDH & ex have been divorced over 40 yrs, ex entering back into his
Comments (11)Mary 1956, whoever said that there is something wrong with you because it bothers you that your husband's ex-wife is included in his family in a way you aren't has obviously never experienced this kind of hurtful treatment. I have! I am not sure why people act as they do, but a friend of mine told me that many people just don't have the ability to think about other people's feelings like "we" do. I am not sure I agree, but I do see it on a daily basis. Why your husband's ex-wife doesn't see how inappropriate her attendance at his family functions is eludes me. My guess is that she doesn't give a rat's a__ about your husband or you. She must not have any pride. Maybe she does it to hurt your husband and you. Even if your husband says something to his family, it may not help. I am in almost the identical situation, and although my husband and I haven't been married for as long as you, his ex-wife attends many of his families events. To make matters worse, she had an affair that ended their relationship about 15 years ago, and his family seems to not care. She has driven a wedge between him and his kids, and they don't seem to care about that either. And she has done everything she can to prevent me from having a relationship with his adult kids, and for some reason these kids just allow themselves to be manipulated. I hate to say this, but there is probably not much you can do about the situation unless your husband can influence his family. In my mind, they shouldn't have to understand why it bother's you, they should just accept that it does, that YOU are part of the family, and that they should make things comfortable for YOU. Good luck and let us know how things work out!...See Morecolleenoz
5 years agoSuzieque
5 years agoSuzieque
5 years agoAriel Anderson
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoSuzieque
5 years agoAriel Anderson
5 years agolast modified: 5 years agoHU-249048672
5 years agoSuzieque
5 years agoKerem Labero
4 years agolast modified: 4 years agoKaren Peltier
4 years ago
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