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My bf says I don’t do enough with his kids

4 months ago

Me, 37f, divorced and a 6 year old son and my , 40m, bf has a 7 year old boy and 5 year old girl. we have been together for 2.5 years. he moved in 1.5 years ago to my house. He is retired air force and i work a full time job. I have full custody of my son and he gets the kids every weekend, thursday nights, all holidays and breaks, and m,t,w,f he takes his 2 to all of their extracuricular activities. Half of his retirement gets sent to his ex wife, so i foot the bill on most things for him as well. i also cook for them, fold their clothes etc. i used to watch them while he took naps on the weekends, which could range from 2-5 hours. i was expected to keep them quiet, but hed always single out my son for being loud and waking him up and send him to the room. The kids also do not listen to me especially the older boy. im also not allowed to drive the kids around per their mother. i respect her wishes. i also want to point out that he does not plan to marry me. i do admit that he helps out with my son by getting him on the bus in the morning and getting him off of it. he also takes my son to all of their many dance, karate karate, football, soccer practices (which my son cant do because his son already does them) and i cant because i dont get off in time. what more am i supposed to be doing? i talked about getting a second job so i could afford to pay someone to help me with my son with going and getting from school but my bf said that i would be denying my duties in helping on the weekends as well. I am lost and need direction. My ex husband was abusive and controlling and im making sure im not making the same mistake. id like to note as well. 2 months back we went to a kids bday party and they were in the bouncy house. One of the kids ran to me and said my son got beat up. All the kids came up to me and said that my bf son got on top of mine and was punching him the face. (my son also has chiari malformation 1) so its not preferable at all for him to be hit in the head. My son had bruises. my bf literally did not scold him or anything and i kept urging him to just speak with him and let him know how serious this is. He did not take my word for it but messaged his friends to ask what they knew and they said exactly what i told them. Now for context as well he is 7 in sparing classes and he is 120 pounds. my son is 6 and is 67 pounds. He told me i overreacted. thats when i decided i would no longer at least watch his kids while he took a 2-5 hour nap on weekends. now he says i dont do enough.

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