i'm sorry for your misfortune.

spring is a great time to look at houses for sale. why not go to a whole lot of open houses and see what size and style appeals to you and your family? you might 'know it when you see it' and then build something similar.

You need to meet with a designer and/or an architect to discuss your wants and needs of your family to know what size home to rebuild.

We hired an architect and she has been great. I am second guessing the footage. It has 3149. sq and a basement. I am overwhelmed and stressed.

if you arent particularly attached to your lot, you might sell the lot and buy an existing house. sometimes its easier not having to go through the design and build process.

I'm sorry for the loss of your home.

Sit down and figure out what rooms you actually used in your old house and how you used them. Make a list. Also figure out if any rooms now could be combined as you head towards the empty nest years.

For example, DH and I built a home if FL. We figured we'd most likely only have guests one family at a time but planned for just in case. We did that by making a combo guest room/exercise room and put in a Murphy bed. When we don't have guests it is our exercise room. When we have guests, it's for our guests.

We also put in my studio with a sleeper couch just in case we have overflow guests. In the 8 years we've lived in FL, that happened exactly 1x. Both rooms are upstairs with a shared bathroom and are accessed either by the stairs or an elevator.

Downstairs we realized we never formally entertain but do like casual entertaining both indoors and out. So we put in a small dining area attached to the kitchen, a good sized kitchen, a large living room that opens to the lanai so both indoors and out become one space in nice weather.

DH got a study with a bench that could sleep one grandchild (if we ever have any) and our master suite. We were comfortable with 2 1/2 baths. One full upstairs, the master and then a powder room for guests.

We even hashed out how much closet and garage space we needed, including pantry and laundry space.

Once you have that, the best thing you could do is work with an architect experienced in residential design. There are several even here on this site and one who will work remotely.

How old is your one child? Will they move away to college? How is your health? Any knee or back injuries? What hobbies? Will relatives stay for holidays? I think you write out a 5 year and 20-year plan - 3149 is a big house to clean on your own. What are the design items that you must have? After you and family know what you need, then plan. Losing your home is painful and building a new one is stressful, take care of yourself

I am very sorry to hear your situation. Few things could be more stressful.

Seems to me the first place to begin is to establish your construction budget, plus contingency fund. The second place is to develop a sense of construction costs in your area.

Do you have a good sense of construction costs? Can you afford a 3,149 SF house? If so, then working with your architect should be a sound strategy. If not, then you and your architect need to scale back accordingly.

FWIW, a 3, 149 SF house plus basement for a couple and one child is very, very large.

We hired an architect and she has been great. I am second guessing the footage. It has 3149. sq and a basement. I am overwhelmed and stressed.Cyndi, that does seem to be a very large house going into your empty nest years, says the woman who built a 2870 square foot house, but with no basement since we're in FL. However I made sure every inch of my home would be used on almost a daily basis. (Ok the exercise room/guest room will only be used on days I don't train at the gym, but maybe the dog will use the window seat?)

What is stressing you about the plans? What is scaring you about them?

And btw: you have a right to be stressed and overwhelmed. Anyone in your position would be!

I know that during my build I was stressed and overwhelmed multiple times and this was something I wanted to do and planned on so I can't begin to imagine how it is when it is unexpected and not planned.

Please do yourself a huge favor and make lots of time for yourself and your family to do things to destress. Whatever that means to you and your family.

So sorry you lost your home. Since you have lemons, make lemonade from the situation. Sorry, that sounds bad, but there is nothing like a fresh start. You're still young at 47 but if you expect this to be your forever home and not plan to retire to a warmer area of the country, you'll need to keep certain things in mind.

We don't know where you live or what your life is like, but I can't imagine that a home larger than 3 bedrooms and 3 baths is needed. A 2,000 to 2,500 sq. ft. home should be more than enough. Property taxes never go down nor insurance, so are you in a special area in the country where a 3,000 sq.ft has minimal property taxes and insurance? My sister lives in an up and desirable area of the country and has a 1,500 sq. ft. home and her taxes are more than $6k per year!

Unless there is something special about that lot, I agree that moving into a brand new home somewhere else might be far less stressful. You'll likely want a first floor master and maybe a first floor guest room if you think an aged parent might be in your future. Down here in Florida, two story homes often have a closet on the first floor that matches the location of a closet on the second floor to allow for a future electric lift.

Good luck and come back when you make some decisions about where to live.

So sorry about your house. IMO, there are only 3 people in the house right now. 3149 s/f plus basement is HUGE!! If your neighborhood has a min s/f, that's what I would build. It sounds like you are in the north, basement? If it does, do they include the basement for at least part of the s/f? The smaller the house, less cleaning, less taxes, less maint. Nobody needs more the older they get.

Loss of home and familiarity is awful. First, a question: How many square feet was the former home, and how much of that square footage ( one child at home) was actually being used on a daily basis? Wat did it have that you loved, or what did it lack that you always needed or wanted? No matter the REASON for building, the thought process is same. Must have, would be nice to have/can live without.........don't need at all. If the former home had a laundry in a mud area.....maybe it's time to put it close to a master bedroom? Bigger closets? Did you have an unused "living" room.......a rarely used formal dining room? More natural light? Breathe deeply, take your time. A very wise idea is to look at new builds in your area, family style, and empty nest variety. .......: ) Make the wish list.

This shouldn't be that much of a dilemma. Your decision on a new floor plan should be based on the original house, your insurance reimbursement, the lot size, and the neighborhood (you don't want to overbuild). Assuming the original home before the fire was comparable to the neighborhood, then you'll want to stick with roughly the same square footage. Now here is an opportunity to perhaps design it better, but the size should be consistent with the other homes around you. You never want to be the biggest house in the neighborhood.

Would you be more comfortable with a 1500, 2000 or 2500 square foot house? How big was your old house?

Ah, the "your house is too big" brigade is out in full force! Build the size of house that YOU want, not what others believe you should have! I live by myself with a small dog in a 2800 sq ft house and am not rattling around in it. I've also lived in this same house with a husband and one child full-time and a 2nd who was only home for vacations from boarding school. It would have been too small if he'd been home full-time.

If you liked your previous house and your insurance will cover re-construction, then build the same house again. If you didn't, you have an opportunity to make some changes. Only you know what you want and need. You've had a huge trauma - take your time and think it through.

It's not the "your house is too big" brigade. It's the "what can you afford" folks. If the OP can afford 3,000 SF plus basement, well and good. If not, time to fall back and regroup.

Remember, the OP asked for help.

Cyndi....you don’t say how recent your fire was. But I know what you are going through and how devastating this is. We had a house fire in 2003 and the aftermath traumatized the family more than the actual fire. Message me if you need advice on how to handle things and what we learned through the process.

You've already received good advice on the house. We are tearing down and rebuilding post Harvey- so I understand the stress of building a house when it wasn't really on your radar. I would approach the architect and let her know your concerns. If you aren't comfortable doing that, then maybe she isn't the architect for you! We thought we wanted to go smaller - but when we got everything into our house- it is the same, if not a bit bigger than our old house. The space is better utilized- smaller bedrooms, more common space, and an actual laundry room!

Good luck with your build, take it one day at a time.