My sister is a homebody and had to move 1700 km away for work. It took her 10 years but she is back home!

Let him fly the nest and visit him as often as possible or help finance visits home! You'll do great, Sueb20!

Sue, this sounds like a good opportunity for your son. But, certainly not what you expected.

My youngest graduated and wound up working in her college town for a few years before moving back.

Oldest wound up transferring to a NY school but lived in the city.

I have always missed my DD's of course, but at the same time, couldn't help being very excited for them and the opportunities that came their way.

We moved 5 hours from our grown sons 20 and almost 25 and it has been so hard. It is the first time we have not moved as a family. Now one son is joining the army, the other son is moving farther from us, and our daughter is about to go on her first date too! I feel your pain and hope someone can give us some advice. I'm happy for my sons accomplishments but so wish they were near me

I have not reached this stage quite yet, however I have been studying up for it. My friends who manage this transition best with their families make a huge point of having some family get-together every year on top of any end of year festivities. Their thinking is that end of year stuff gets crazy and is at home with lots of friends and commitments, so not as much family time, so planning something where you can all reconnect as a family is important.

For some that has meant a family vacation at the ski house for one week every winter, while another family plans an enormous family camping trip every Memorial Day weekend.

These are exciting times I am sure you will look back on fondly. Remember when they were babies, like Robo's little angel, and at every stage you thought, 'no way, it can't get better than this,' and it always did get even better?

Make sure he gets a two bedroom and consider it a respite from NE winters?

My family, and by that I mean extended family, is all over the world. Despite that, my children's generation is very close, despite stretching over many, many time zones. Thank heavens for Skype. It's also a good reason to travel.

It’s hard, but it does become easier after a few months. Both our kids went to college 8 hours away. Both times it was hard for me. DS went to grad school 8 hours away and now is married and living across the country in Augusta, GA, after taking a great job in his very specific field. Now DD is in grad school 6 hours away. DS calls to chat once a week. DD calls at least twice a day. I would love more than anything for them both to still live close by, but life doesn’t always work that way. I miss them both a lot, but I won’t allow it to color my day to day life.

My stepson and DIL live in Abu Dhabi. They will be giving birth to their first child soon, and we will not be able to get there to see them until later this year. We are in New York. My husband and I often say that we only wish they were in California. Or even Europe. That would seem so close in comparison, and it would be easy to hop on a plane to see them more often. My mom says the same thing about my sister, who lives in Australia with her grandchild. So what is close and what is far away-- it's all relative.

Wahh, that is wonderful/terrible. At least Tucson is a pleasant place to visit!

Here's what I'd say. If you were from Tucson and your DS moved to Boston or NY, I might worry he would never move back home to Tucson. It is pretty easy to have an full and long career with job changes and the like in one city if that city is Boston or NY. It gets harder in smaller towns.

So, I would assume that at some point there is a good chance his next career move (or even grad school) will be back to the East Coast. Plus I bet he will miss it! And Tucson I don't think is so great socially for someone just out of college. He will come to his senses. LOL.

And Congrats to DS! Seems like just yesterday when "we" sent him off.

Tucson's a pretty happening place!! And it's a college town so lots of younger generation residents. I'll bet he'll love it there. And a great place to visit during those long, cold New England winters :-))

How exciting! He will always remember these times.

Our DD went away to college and stayed there after graduation. Youngest DS went away to college then was offered a job in Chicago and was there for three years before moving back here. He and gf will move to a more affordable area when they are ready to buy a house.

Don’t be surprised if your son meets someone in Tucson and decides to stay, or just likes the west and doesn't miss northeast winters.

But you will survive! It’s the way of the world....and you might very well question if they were still clingy to mom and dad in their 20’s. Be glad you raised independent kids....that’s the goal isnt it? It’s a new chapter but it’s a lot of fun to watch them launch themselves.

I left my hometown in 1994 to go to grad school and I have not moved back. My mother, fortunately, had my other siblings and extended family there. We talked on the phone a lot,.

Congratulations to your son! I know leaving the nest is a good thing but I'll admit I'm sitting here feeling sad for you!!!! I don't like to think about the generational shift. :(

I know that my kids are never moving back to our area, but I'm happy that they are all in jobs and places they enjoy. My oldest spent 4 years teaching English in South Korea, Ukraine, turkey and China, but has been back in the US for a few years now in Denver. Our daughter lives in Los Angeles, and our youngest son just recently moved from San Francisco to New York. The upside is that I have interesting places to visit them in.

It is very hard when your kids leave, but even worse when they move your grandkids!

Sue, I’m sure it’s hard on you, but it must feel satisfying to have your child grow up to be a young man capable of living independently, and with marketable skills. We have a 24 year-old, high functioning autistic child who, in spite of having a computer science degree ifrom a decent university, probably doesn’t have the life skills to be on his own. While we are glad that he has a safety network (us), I’d love to be able to experience the sweet sadness of an empty nester. (Sorry, didn’t mean to direct the conversation away from your issue, but I think it’s two sides of the same coin.) hope you get to see him often and nurture him from a distance. It’s only a matter of time before he comes back to the east coast.

It's hard. My youngest has moved around a lot, including overseas, ever since she left for college nearly 10 years ago. Now she's living across the country pursuing her career. I've been lucky to have my older daughter within 100 miles of me, but she'll soon marry a career military man. Of course that means she'll be leaving too. I'm close to both of my children, talk to them regularly, we visit as often as possible. I keep reminding myself that they're doing exactly what I raised them to do -- to be independent women who make a difference in the world. Still, it's hard.

Thank you all for commiserating!

Nutsaboutplants, our 25 yo also has special needs and although at the moment, he is employed and living “on his own” we still have to help him financially and keep a pretty close eye on him. We feel like we will always need to do that, and there have been enough crises with him that we’re always sort of waiting for the next one. On the flip side, yes, it’s a nice feeling that we don’t have the same worries with DS #2 or with our DD.

The DS who may be going to AZ does have a long term (5+ years) GF and both of them are planning to follow the jobs wherever they may lead for now, but both want to be back in our area within the next few years.

And DH and I survived our baby girl’s first date tonight. I’m equal parts happy and horrified that a very cute boy seems to like her!

I have three. All went away for college and were determined to move home (west coast) for jobs, life, and we are thrilled. Two are married. Our third is in med school -with a girlfriend of six years on the east coast who is completing her professional schooling. I don't know what will happen with the third? They have years and years ahead of them.

Speaking for myself, and from a few years down the road, I have to say, I think one has to start looking at what the years ahead look like for YOUl Airline fare is cheap.

Tucson is a great place for you to escape cold winters for vacations. Think of it as a door opening, rather than one shutting.

My son went to grad school in London, and as an archaeologist, he traveled a lot. He married a doctor and for awhile, we didn't know where they'd go, but they stayed in the area. At the time, my late husband and I were adventurous enough to consider a move to wherever they'd end up.

I have 2 children.

With DS I have the opposite problem to you. DS still lives with us. He is making his way extremely slowly through college. He often has to take several months of breaks from school as he has physical disabilities and minor mental disabilities. We are hoping to get him financially independent but he is in his mid-30s and it might take another 10 years for that to happen. We are very proud of him that he has stuck to his guns in doing the computer programming course. He does know how to program now.

DD is married and working her way through an apprenticeship in a career she chose and that suits her to a tee. I often have to remind myself that she is fine and has a good partner. She lives in the town next to ours. DSIL travels all the time and she goes with him about a quarter of that time. They will probably end up wherever his career takes them. Her career allows her to work from anywhere. It's ridiculous I know but I still miss her though we see one another every 2 or 3 weeks for breakfast. When I'm in your position it will take me awhile to get used to it!

I never thought of having the empty nest while both DD's were away at college. You are so mentally still involved! The school semester is so short, by the time to settle them in, visit on parent's day, you turn around and they are home for Thanksgiving, Christmas etc.

Sueb, let him go. If you give him his "freedom", he'll come back. Make a scene, and the distance will become desirable.

Make a scene! Not sure if I said anything that indicated that, but I’m certainly not going to “make a scene.” I haven’t said one thing to him to dissuade him, actually. Both DH and I think this is a great time for him to spread his wings a bit, no matter how much we’ll miss him. Honestly I think his GF’s mom is more worked up than anyone, haha.

He has a bit of time to consider the offer, and is still thinking, so it’s not a done deal. I think there’s a pretty good chance he will accept. And I will survive! ;-)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Faf1ch7Q9XE 

We did the opposite and moved away to the other side of the country from our young adult kids. DH has his dream job and we can afford to visit whenever we want. But traveling across the country is a pain. And it rots to be so far away from the kids.

Look on the bright side. He has a job! And he can relax the next couple of months and not worry about that part of taking the plunge into the real world.

Our DD started her career in Buffalo, New York -- a good 2 days drive from here and then for 1 glorious year she was an hour away! But then got moved to a town 12 hours away. Now she is 8 hours away. She has a family, I have 2 grands and she is 8 hours away. You raise them to give them wings. Sometimes those wings take them far away. WHEN I get sad because she is so far away . . . I just think of the alternative -- she is 42, she has 2 kids, she and the 2 kids live upstairs in her bedroom and she works at Wendy's. I'm glad that she is successful, has a great husband and so she's just 8 hours away -- that's just a day's drive.

Where's the "LOVE" button eld6161? That was my song while raising my son alone.

How exciting for your son Sue! Our kids have been far flung, but for now have landed back in the Boston area with secure jobs and homes. That's not to say they won't uproot, because they do seem to have to have wanderlust! Our youngest broke up a serious relationship with a long-term (law school turned lawyer) boyfriend because she would not transfer to Tampa, despite the fact that her company has an office there. The two in finance are always looking for the next adventure and will go anywhere work takes them. Luckily, Boston is booming and the jobs may lure him back.