I am overweight by about 70 lbs. I also cringe when I see women wearing the spandex leggings and belly shirts. I am often complimented on my clothing because I dress to flatter my body shape, it is NOT an easy task. I search far and wide for clothing that is stylish yet fits. I am not ashamed to smh when I see someone dressing in way that says "look at me, I am so proud of my fat rolls I want everyone to see them". No thank you very much...cover yourself up already! Have a little class & dignity!

Oh, btw, I wear leggings at home and it the garden often, they ARE comfortable but the only person who has ever seen them on me is DH (and even then I am a bit embarrassed).

I waited out the low-rise jeans craze and I can wait out the yoga pants/leotards/leggings craze.

I was walking through a department store the other day and chuckled to myself that a space alien who was dropped into a US department store would surmise from the clothing for sale that pretty much all Americans do is exercise.

Frugalwallflower, please start that business! I am not overweight but can't stand the fashions offered these days. I'm going on 60 and prefer to dress modestly and hate skimpy or tight clothing, especially tops. I have to admit I love the newer pull on jeans/pants trend with no zipper, and comfortable shoes, but summer tops are just ridiculous. I have been looking for a top with sort of dolman sleeves, not too big, just not hugging the armpits, but with a neckline closer to the neck than the shoulders. I have actually bought tops too big for me and altered them, by hand sewing.

I don't like when thin women wear clothes that show everything either. I am not interested in seeing so much flesh whether a person is large or small...no thanks.

I am a size 10 and could not get away with wearing leggings and a short top. I don't care what any says, I would not look good. So yes, a 250 lb woman or man would not look good in leggings and a short top. So lets not "pretend" they would with all this "everyones body is beautiful"...NO some are not beautiful and that's ok. I see lots of plus sized woman pulled together and look fabulous in what they are wearing and it's not frumpy dumpy clothes either. You don't have to be a size 4 to look good, but I agree seeing someones 2, 3 or 4 rolls in their too tight shirt does NOT look good, period.

I refrained from commenting earlier because I wasn't sure what I would say without getting slammed :-)) I have often thought the same thought as the OP but have only said it to myself........what were you thinking when you left the house this morning?? And not just about heavy-set women dressed inappropriately......I have seen women of all sizes dressed in garments I would not wear out of my backyard!! Personally, I am not a big fan of seeing flesh exposed that is normally covered unless at the swimming pool or beach. Please, keep the belly-baring crop tops and butt cheek revealing shorts away from the grocery store or malls!! It is not a good look on anyone over the age of 10!! And that goes for men who parade around town shirtless.......unless you look like Channing Tatum, just don't do it!!

I am not a small person but I live in leggings and yoga pants, primarily because they are extremely comfortable. And the older I get, the more comfort rules my wardrobe. But they do not have to be skin tight and you do not need to look like a stuffed sausage IF you get the right size. One size fits all is a lie!! And I always wear them with a longer tunic style top because my middle area (waist to butt) needs to be covered.

I agree that it is not easy to find clothes for larger sizes that are designed for women who are neither 25 nor 75 - everything looks like it was designed for teens or for my grandmother!! But it can be done. There are a couple of better online sources and several large clothing stores (Macy's, Nordstroms) have a great selection of clothes for larger sizes. And I shop frequently at Marshall's and TJ Maxx and often find great items there.

I order t-shirts off this web site. I get the unisex/men shirt. I get compliments all the time about the shirts. I go for the cat, flower, sea animal , ect. Their shirts are true to size and not see-thru.

https://www.themountain.com/

These pants I'm wearing in this pic is leggins, but I'm wearing a longer blouse..I'm at a friends who hosted lunch after a school meeting

Sorry I can't get the pic yo load

there is no pic or link either.

Some women look very nice in leggins if the top is like a short dress. I recently saw a young women at Walmart who was quite overweight, wearing a very tight top and leggin Capri's with cowboy boots. It looked like 2 puppies were fighting in the seat of her pants, she had so much jiggle back there and everywhere. WHY do people want to dress like this out in town?????

JoAnn, my DH describes that as two coons fighting in a burlap sack!

mamaP...you look perfectly fine :-)

Mamap you look very nice!

Sometimes it's nice to be an invisible older woman-lol. Lately I've put on some weight and my old jeans have been extremely tight. A few weeks ago tried to buy some news ones because I realized my old ones not only very uncomfortable, but getting holey. None of the sizes fit me...my old size or bigger, or in plus sizes. I finally just ordered randomly a pair of jeans on-line....and they were baggy but I washed them in hot water and dried them alot. They almost fit me although still pretty loose in the waist. Today I bought an exercise mat to start doing something about the fat. The extra weight is making my back hurt too. I hate the new way they make shirts, even t-shirts. Arms too tiny, making them skin tight or usually too tight for my saggy arms. They're also very unflattering, super thin, stretchy material that is just not good looking at all. Most of them are so paper thin you have to wear something underneath, which looks bad too.

Mamap- you look great!

I don't like the whole active wear look. That even goes back to the days of jogging suits for me. If you're not at the gym or actively being active outdoors put some real clothes on. Man or woman.

I have nothing against leggings on women of any size as long as they cover their ass with a long top. Even slender women look ridiculous when they bend and the legging fabric turns transparent. If you are over the age of 8 cover your butt. And buy your size. I used to buy med./large leotards when I weighed 93 pounds for a reason. Coverage.

Men and the baggy saggy look. Ugh. I am so glad I am not on the market for a male companion. Then there are the silly looking "basketball" shorts. The guys wear them over-sized. They look like clown pants. Keep the board shorts on the beach. Helps if you actually surf. What happened to men's swimwear. Mid thigh flatters almost any man.

Won't even go into the pants below the butt with the idiots ass hinging out completely. The best line about that came from my son when he was back in high school years ago during a discussion about "gangs". "Yeah, like I'm supposed to be intimidated by a guy with his pants down to his knees wearing a hairnet". LOL

There have been a number of threads on a similar topic over the years. We've talked about how leggings are not pants and such. My problem is that there are many people of all ages, shapes and sizes that wear clothing that is not flattering to them...not just the overweight. I'm thinking of Stacy London's makeover -- or rather makeunder show where she helped people with outlandish style tone it down.

It may be a budget issue or a know-how issue or a don't care issue. If they live a lifestyle where their style doesn't matter and they're comfortable with their style, then fine. If, however, their style matters to their lifestyle in terms of being role models for others such as their children, or needing to present an image to succeed in their careers, then they are doing themselves a disservice. Like it or not, people do make judgments based on first impressions and how people present themselves, and whether or not you care, your style is a message to others. You can either control that message or ignore it at your own peril.

Sometimes it's as simple as finances and sometimes it's as simple as age and wanting to fit in. If the items are already in their wardrobe and it's too costly to replace the items, they squeeze themselves into things they may well realize do not fit perfectly; but, if they can get into it they can tell themselves it fits.

If it's a younger woman, she wants to be part of the style trend. Where ever she shops, she's going to be faced with the style choice of the moment. That's the way of the world. You either accept it, or look away.

I'm no spring chicken. I'm even passed the point of being of decent stewing hen. I, myself, fight the urge to try and squeeze my ample butt into the style trend; but, I have the advantage of age and wisdom on my side.

I keep seeing this thread and really want to know "why do women...." keep dissing on other women about how they look, what they wear, etc. It's so tiresome to see thread after thread criticizing things about women none of us know, nor should we be concerned with. I mean, really, if how someone dresses is so offensive and difficult for you to live with, please just cover your eyes. And hope that no one is judging you for something so superficial and unimportant.

Problem is, Oly, we'd have to keep eyes permanently shut and getting around would be a rather precarious proposition. It isn't like one person is suffering from a temporary lapse in judgement, it seems to be more a case of several thinking a certain unflattering look is actually THE look to pursue. Maybe we're just bored and seeking distraction from the chaos around us. A little mean but not many of us are saintly like Mother Theresa.

When it comes to clothes, no matter what size or age, show a little self-respect.

olychick, I'm not sure what standard or ideal you think people are failing at. It's a fact that how someone looks, how they talk and the language they use convey an impression that most people will pick up on. It's human nature, it's not a societal socio-emotional transgression or offense as you seem to think is the case.

The Dani Mathers attitude of "don't offend my eyes" lives on. While focused on what really matters in the world, critiquing the clothes other people are wearing, and their body proportions, doesn't even blip the radar.

We all have judgements and differing senses of aesthetics. My point, pretty much lost here, is that by focusing on how women around us dress or look or groom themselves isn't something anyone else should concern themselves with. It does NOT affect you. You say you'd have to keep your eyes closed all the time, but, no, you don't! You just have to stop thinking you have a right to decide how someone else should look! If you can't do that, then maybe simply avert your gaze if you are so offended. Maybe look inside yourself and see what is lacking in YOU that you feel compelled to criticize how someone else looks/dresses. Why is there a continual focus on and perpetration of "women have to look a certain way" or any way, for that matter.

Women are not helping the status of women in this world by constantly denigrating others for things that are no concern of ours. It's no wonder we're in the state we're in.

Yeah and oly, you never fail to call us all on it. We get it. You don't like it.

...how women around us dress or look or groom themselves isn't something anyone else should concern themselves with. It does NOT affect you...simply avert your gaze...

I suppose you could argue the same thing about a starving puppy or a homeless person ranting on a street corner ... simply avert your gaze. You could argue the same thing about a parent publicly berating their child, gang graffiti or a rat infested pile of rubbish. Simply avert your gaze.

But, no...all that messaging DOES impact us. It can send signals about action that needs to be taken, if we may be in danger, or it may move us to certain emotions. Sometimes averting our gaze is all we can do...sometimes we can do more.

Especially if someone's style is working against them in achieving their goals or is a symptom of low self esteem. Sometimes women dress a certain way because they feel it's all they have to offer. Helping them out to dress better, to feel better about themselves to realize they are worth it, and then help them manage that style message of who they are can be a way of helping women achieve more that they could otherwise.

Olychick--I completely understand what you mean, thank you for expressing it so nicely.

It is SO discouraging to be judged by looks alone. I've been ideal weight, and I've been 150 (yes-that is one hundred and fifty!!) pounds overweight. I'm now somewhere in between. I've always tried very hard to dress professionally and appropriately--it's NOT easy. My arms and thighs are huge--baggy pants and long sleeves don't fool anyone! If my flabby arms offend you, just go on with your day--it's not your problem.

The stark difference in how one is treated in public is just astonishing to me. If people think "we" miss the sneers, eye rolls and snickers--you are mistaken. It is painful and disheartening on a daily basis.

A slight tweak in one's attitude might make a big difference in your own life. You never know--you might make a (fat, chunky, lovely, funny, loyal, smart and/or accomplished) new best friend!

Open your heart and mind; kindness and understanding is NEVER misplaced.

For heavens sake..we are human,its natural for us to look at people and make judgements even if only to ourselves how someone looks, how they dress, how they groom themselves, ect..

This is the KT where everyone is welcome to share their thoughts and opinions its not as if anyone is **making fun** .

I'll tell you right now if I was wearing skin tight leggins and a short, tight, or see thru shirt...I'd be puking and never make it out the door.

Tvq...I'd bet your not going out in public wearing a stretchy size 10 in order to show off your curves...think thats what this is about...not a lovely lady dressed stylishly..

I know a lady that is overweight and dresses in tight clothes..I remember thinking this style of dress is all wrong, but we became friends based on what's on the inside not her being overweight and wearing tight clothes. ...but still my first impression was her dress code is wrong...as much as I enjoy this woman, her intelligents and her wit..I still think her dress code is wrong.

LOL mama pinky! No, I don't--it's been many a year since I've even HAD a size 10 in my closet!

But I do wear sleeveless blouses in the hot weather, and if my seriously flabby arms offend anyone, they can just look the other way ;}

I'd bet your not going out in public wearing a stretchy size 10 in order to show off your curves

Actually some people go out in public to show off curves or to get the attention they crave that is missing in their life even if it is negative. But, I'm not judging.

"I suppose you could argue the same thing about a starving puppy or a
homeless person ranting on a street corner ... simply avert your gaze.
You could argue the same thing about a parent publicly berating their
child, gang graffiti or a rat infested pile of rubbish. Simply avert
your gaze."

Seriously? That doesn't even meet the smell test of a false equivalency. Everything you mentioned is something where someone or something is being hurt and I feel I (and we all as a society) have an obligation to NOT look away - to notice and take action or report to someone who will. Comparing those things to how some woman you don't even know is dressed is absurd.

Think what I was trying to say is..I personally can look at someone wearing tight, short, see thru clothing and think to myself OMG that outfit is just so wrong, but that doesn't mean the person isn't a wonderful woman or man. It doesn't mean I wouldn't smile, nod a greeting or involve myself in a conversation or friendship.

Tvq..there is nothing wrong IMO with a bigger (i feel ashamed saying it that way) woman wearing sleeveless shirts...heck when its hot we all want to dress cooler.

Yes I suppose I judge what I feel is inappropriately dressed people, but I am not judging them as a person, does this make sense?

Tvq, your words touched me..I feel deep sadness that you are sneered at, and treated poorly. I'm sorry so many in the world don't or won't see past someone's weight, height, disfigurements, ect ect ect...

I suspect Tvq that you are a lovely woman.

Sometimes, oly, you sound like some who, in thinking they were slighted or hard done by, attribute the cause as being racism. Except your inclination, sometimes too often, is that something someone has said or done contributes to the downtrodden plight of women in our world. Even though many, myself included, expressly mentioned men in their comments. So the phenomenon discussed related to people. It took a female slant, in part, from female contributors sharing what they do or don't do themselves, clothes types they do or don't think are appropriate from their own clothing choices, etc.

I'm sure your feelings are sincere and maybe a result of treatment you experienced yourself. That's fine. I understand the perspective and point of view and often share it. When it's applicable. Lighten up a bit.

Thank you mama pinky, please don't feel bad! I don't feel that discrimination now, as I am much closer to "chunky" than morbidly obese. But when I was at my highest weight, I sure did. It is absolutely unbelievable how cruel some people can be. I always tried to remember that it is much more a reflection of the person doing the judging and taunting than it is a reflection of who I am as a person. Despite my significant weight problem, I had a very successful career and have a wonderful husband of almost 50 years and many very good friends who have loved me thru thick and thin! I'm blessed for sure.

In retrospect, what bothered me about the original post in this thread was that it was focused solely on LARGE WOMEN dressed in a way that was offensive to the poster. Do "normal" size and very thin women dress in inappropriate and unflattering ways? Of course they do, yet for some reason a larger woman (even opposed to a large man) is much more offensive and totally unacceptable.

That's a hard pill to swallow when I have experienced it first hand and know how painful it is.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox now, with just one last thought: If the fat shammers could just walk a mile in my shoes (or the shoes I USED to wear), I think they would understand the pain and shame that is felt when onw ia judged so harshly.

Be kind to one another........

Significantly overweight people are hot and dress in response to this. Otherwise the main problem for them is not the disapproval of others but rather the awful future health implications of their condition, if it remains unchanged.

I friend of mine spent the last years of his nursing career supervising a cardiac ward. Not a lot of happy campers in there, in particular all the diabetics that had been having amputations.

Just for the record slim, trim people are also discriminated against. I stopped going to the gym for a cardio workout because others that were heavier than I, treated me as though I had a disease and refused to stand near me as I made them look bigger. After enduring many cruel remarks, I stopped going.

My dearest bff is a size 16 and a very beautiful person with a good fashion sense who is always well put together. I think there are some people, in all sizes, who just don't know how to dress "appropriately" and give up and go with what is comfortable.

You were going to the wrong gym. Try a different one.

Most gyms have people with a variety of body types. Who cares?

Irma--I do understand what you mean--my mother has always been tall and VERY thin, and has said she endured many taunts and unkind nick-names growing up.

Really, a much better term than fat shamming would be body shaming, whether it be too thin or too fat, too tall or too skinny.

What a dull world it would be if we were all the same "perfect" size and shape!

Everything you mentioned is something where someone or something is being hurt...

When I see people dressed as in the "befores" I posted above, I do see someone being hurt. Just because they are hurting themselves and have every right to do it, doesn't mean it doesn't send a message and evoke an emotional reaction.

With the many makeovers on "what not to wear" and other programs, there were some common themes including some women felt a need to show a lot of skin to attract men, but then couldn't understand why they were attracting the wrong kind of man. Some women had low self esteem and never felt that they were beautiful or attractive. Some women simply had no idea of how they were perceived. Others didn't do better because they didn't know how.

One woman who had been an exotic dancer was told that her street wear was perfect for that job. She was the one who pinned a raccoon tail to her backside. After her makeover she dumped her loser boyfriend, went back to school, and made a career for herself. She said that none of that would've happened if she hadn't gotten the makeover which showed her she was more deserving of respect from herself.

Yep. When my 20yo was in high school she weighed 78 pounds in her senior year. At the homecomming dance there was a group of girls taunting her about being small...so it does go both ways. By the way she will be 21 in a few weeks and now weighs 92 pounds.

Elmer, I don't expect you to care, or anyone else for that matter. My point was remarks are hurtful whether you are overweight, thin, tall, short, beautiful or homely. We are all human with human emotions and feelings. No one is exempt.

As for another gym, I have no need for one in my current health state. Some days I hardly have enough energy to feed myself.

tvq, yes life is strange. If you were tall and thin like your mother you probably would have endured much the same pain you experienced due to people's attitude towards you. A little kindness can go a long way sometimes.

I was called stringbean growing up so it does run both ways. Fortunately, our family is very athletic and thin but I empathize so much with people who aren't. We were at a local beach last week and there were what I would call morbidly obese women and men in kinda scant bathing suits. There was a group of snickering young men making comments . I know the objects could hear the taunts and my heart went out to them. I also gave them kudos to come to the beach with their families and the heck with what others might say. It's a very cruel world out there.

Another clothing thread with some interesting comments:

does-no-one-understand-what-appropriately-dressed-means-anymore?

"Elmer, I don't expect you to care, or anyone else for that matter. My point was remarks are hurtful whether you are overweight, thin, tall, short, beautiful or homely. "

Irma, I'm sorry if you're troubled by health concerns. I hope your situation will improve.

You misunderstood my comment. The "who cares" was referring to fellow gym attendees and their conduct. I went to the gym yesterday afternoon, after the above exchange, and took note of who was there. People were tall and short, fat and skinny, buff and flabby, healthy looking and sickly looking. Who cares? Other than the occasional pleasantry or greeting, no one spoke to anyone else. Most people have earbuds on anyway. It's mostly the same in classes.

I picked this gym because it's not a meat market or a hangout for Muscle Beach types. People go to do their workouts, a solitary undertaking even if working with a trainer, and then leave. Anyone at a gym where people don't know how to keep their mouths shut should find a different place to go.

DH goes to the gym 5 days a week and he likes it there as it's very social...people are all very friendly and the music is not so loud that people can't converse. He's met lots of people and enjoys going for the social aspects as much as the workout. Most of the attendees get silver sneakers so they are mostly of the more senior class and no one cares what anyone else looks like...unless they've not been well...then it's a caring community that comes together.

Fat or thin, I don't like the look of tights on anyone if they aren't wearing a tunic type of top.