I know a woman who dresses like that for her job at a law firm. :O

Not around here! Most of us look lucky we aren't wearing our pjs . . .and some of us actually are! :)

I think they don't see it as provocative, if they dress like that all the time !
The slutty look is in fashion, but short shorts with nylons ? that's odd to me.

In general, it doesn't seem to be as common here as probably other parts of the globe but I see it on occasion and shake my head wondering whhhhy? IMO, it screams a lot of negative things I won't mention.

I could go on and on about this but no, I don't think it's appropriate for school or the general public honesty. I think it does send the wrong message to the girls growing up along with a lot of the garbage on tv, etc.

I've done a lot of volunteer work at my kids schools for the past 22 years and I've never, ever seen a volunteer mom dress inappropriately . . . thank goodness! I agree with you, though, that particular parent was very inappropriately dressed. IMO, it's the job of the principal to make sure all parent volunteers dress appropriately.

Oh yeah, we've got some of those around here. They wear lots of makeup, nails and hair always done, lots of sparkly flashy jewelry and big purses with lots of metal. Their tops are low cut. Their pants are too tight. Or too bedazzled. And yeah, they dress that way all the time, even for school things.

I'd like to say it's sorta the "Real Housewives" influence but some of the ladies around here dressed like that before RH even came on. Sometimes I think some think that look says "sexy" and "young." I always think it's like that old saying though -=- "mutton dressed as lamb."

Fortunately, we also have our share of Moms in athletic gear, Moms in twinsets and pearls, and Moms in suits. I sort of feel sorry for any woman who, after a certain age, feels she has to trot out the wares in such an overtly attention-getting way.

We have a group of Moms that seem to be perpetually competing for the world's hottest Mom title. Like judith mentioned the uniform is wedge heels, cleavage, giant bags, etc. They are the same women that hold numerous charity events that basically consist of writing checks, buying new dresses and partying. And they never forget to plaster the pictures all over Facebook.

It may be a generational thing. Or 1/2 a generation. Most of them are 10 to 15 years younger. The ones that do it that are my age (50+) look ridiculous. They are all nice enough but put so much EFFORT into their looks, constant partying, girls weekends, etc. It looks exhausting to me.

have they really thought about what kind of role model they are for their daughters?

Last week my sister read me a news item about brides having nasogastric tubes inserted for feeding so they can lose weight prior to their weddings. The story quoted the bride/mother that she couldn't pick her daughters up at school because seeing her scared some of the other kids. There was a picture of her and she looked like a slim 40-something woman with an n-g tube.

What message is she sending her daughters?! Nothing is too crazy when it comes to your appearance? Also, it's not bad enough she'd do something so extreme but then so seek or agree to media attention for doing it is the no-fat icing on the wedding cake.

The article mentioned her wedding wasn't until June so I really didn't understand the use of the tube when she has 2-3 months to lose the weight by a more traditional method.

This is in keeping with a tone of coarsness that is accepted and even admired today. It's everywhere!

As far as an example to daughters, evidently such moms feel they are fine examples of feminine beauty and style! They don't understand that objectifying and degrading themselves is what they are actually doing. They seem to think they look glamourous and attractive.

It's really sad that an emerging generation of young women are so obsessed with being "hot." They are missing out on experiencing their true value, beauty and preciousness.

I am sixty years old and I work really hard at not being prudish. I love to see gals dress their age as stylish as possible. I genuinely think there is a style that is acceptable for most age groups - AT THE RIGHT TIME AND PLACE! I think women in their late teens, twenties, and thirties can wear sexy, slightly skimpier clothes if they are going out with friends, their dates, their husbands to parties, clubs, etc. Heck - you can get away with it if you are older IF YOU HAVE THE BODY FOR IT. You can do this without looking slutty. Again, appropriate occasion for the look - not in your child's school. If you are volunteering in a school, you should dress as the staff. If you are dropping by the school briefly to pick your child up, or drop something off, decent shorts, capris, jeans, whatever would be fine. No different than grocery shopping, running errands, etc.

I don't think drawing a line regarding provocative dress at a school is prudish, frankly. Our schools demand "business attire," loosely defined to allow some freedom of personal expression for the kids (& adults -- there are teachers with orange mohawks), but minimizes sexual flaunting. School is a work space, not a cocktail party.

I haven't heard the term "sexual flaunting"-- that's exactly what it is. When I see women dressed like this (at an inappropriate place) my thought is that they are desperate for attention or needy in some way, or have low self-esteem. (I could be wrong about this, of course).

hhireno, I saw that about using a nasogastric tube to lose weight- ugh! that can't be healthy!

I guess an appropriate place would be while working at hooters!

That gastric tube surely cannot be healthy, as would starvation....

What's the point of being super slim at your wedding if it's not your healthy/normal weight that you can maintain at all times, so after the wedding you resume your eating normally and get bigger ?

Wedding dress shopping probably makes the brides want to lose weight,
a white strapless dress has to be the most unforgiving item of clothing a person can put on their body, lol....

As for dressing to look "hot" , I agree that the Housewives shows glorifiy
this . Remove cleavage showing and ultra short shorts/skirts and those girls could look trendy but not inappropriate.

Well said Stinky! I agree completely. It's tasteless and sends all of the wrong messages.

We've got a few of those in our neighborhood, but thankfully, most of the moms have better taste than to get all 'sexual flaunty' with it. Many do, however, make FULL use of the 'sorority chic' fashion code, and are absolutely as 'done up' as the sex kittens -- just with more taste and a little less skin. But the tennis dresses? The perfect hair and makeup makes it clear they haven't already played, so they must be on their way to another match. Again. Always. ;-)

"...they must be on their way to another match. Again.
Always. ;-)" LOL, Sweeby!

Another 60 year old here (well, on Friday I will be-ha-and happy about it). This bothers me because most of those of us who came of age in the 60s had the joy of seeing both the Civil Rights movement and feminism blossom. We worked so hard for equality and I feel some of these moms and others who need to be "sexual flaunty" (love that term, btw)have no idea what they are giving up. I suppose it is a self-esteem thing to some extent and a fear of getting older (honey, no-one-is-looking-at-you-anymore syndrome). Still, when you see some of the legislation that is being proposed these days, I worry that we could end up back to the days when women had far fewer options than we have today and those who reaped the benefits of our hard work and activism will find themselves in a very unhappy place.
The ramifications of not perpetuating the truth that women are smart, capable, qualified to do anything we decide to do, and, yes, sexy and beautiful, too, are too dreadful to contemplate. I am glad they are volunteering, but I do wish they would be more cognizant of the message they are sending.

Stepping off the soapbox now. :)

My guess is that the schools are so needy for volunteers that the principals are too afraid of saying anything to anyone about their clothing. If someone is immature or needy enough to choose to dress provocatively, then when confronted, no matter how gently, they're immature enough to say "My hotpants and I am out of here".

I think it's very sad when any woman feels she needs to do that, regardless of why; but I'm more concerned for the kids because their unwittingly exposed to it and once again they're getting the wrong message.

My guess is that the schools are so needy for volunteers that the principals are too afraid of saying anything to anyone about their clothing. If someone is immature or needy enough to choose to dress provocatively, then when confronted, no matter how gently, they're immature enough to say "My hotpants and I am out of here".

I know that the schools are in need of all the help they can get, but there needs to be some guidelines, don't you think? To me, the Principals job is to protect the kids and administer school policies. It would be wrong for him/her to be more concerned about the reaction of a parent dressed inappropriately and how it would affect their staffing than the message her attire is sending to the kids. IMHO, the kids should always always come first regardless.

Who cares? I'm not fussed by how people dress, unless they're in pajamas in public. And I tend to judge potential role models by their actions, not their appearances.

Indeefixe - Seriously? Pjs bother you in public but someone dressed provacatively doesn't?

For myself, I have a hard time using the true title role model for anyone dressed as we're discussing here.

If I'm at the store or on the street, I could care less, but in a school setting where learning and children are the focus, I think it's different. Its all about setting an example and yes, dressing is part of that.

Oh, jeepers, guess I won't be throwing a coat over my pjs to walk the dogs anymore. :(

But wasn't the feminist revolution about letting women be ourselves and not kowtowing to the rigid expectations of others? I just don't get these threads about what others wear, judge me by my deeds, actions, statements, body of work, community mindedness etc., but why does anyone have to dress to conform to what others think of as appropriate, proper, etc? Who cares? WRT being a role model, have you looked at a TV show lately? Crazy pageant moms, desperate women who want a fiance so badly they'll be in a reality show to get one, catty teens, etc. Compared to the morass that is TV I think a low cut shirt or two is pretty harmless.

And cyn427, I have been known to run to our local IGA type store with a long wool coat over my PJs and walk to our mailbox (1/2 mile away) in them too, who cares, I'm not here to impress passersby with my chicness at 7 am (or, frankly, anytime).

sandyponder

I wonder if some of this depends on the part of the country that we live in. We used to live on Long Island and then outside of DC in Maryland (both were places that there was more money it seemed than where we live now--about 2 hours outside of DC over the WV border). People used to joke in MD about the moms who hung out at the mall during the day, and referred to them as being part of the Hot Moms Club. lol

I work on a college campus and the shorts with black (or various colors) and heels is definitely a trend with college girls right now. It's not a look I wish to achieve for myself though in my 30's. lol

@anele: I've dropped my kids off at school more than a time or two,(I don't get out of the car), in my pjs, but I have a sweatshirt on. My DH is always laughing and says he is waiting for the day that my car breaks down, or I have to get out with the kids.

That said, I have once seen our principal talk to a parent about her dress, and it was b/c she was wearing shorts that seemed too short for school. We live in a small town, that is on the crunchy/granola side, so we see a lot here, esp b/c it's a college town, but in general the moms at our school great and dress appropriately. :)

I think there's a line b/w dressing attractively/appropriately and showing too much.

@ sweeby-your tennis comment cracked me up!

sandy, re pjs: I have done the same thing and don't worry about it either. I don't think it conflicts with women being allowed to make choices or hold any job, etc. to expect someone to make considered choices about appropriateness of dress when working in a school. Even our 4th and 5th grade boys would have their attention drawn by that mom and not in a way that encourages learning. She is obviously a wonderful person and dedicated to her kids and their school, but...

At our school (public-large highly diverse county outside DC), we have a dress code for kids. It is posted in the Students' Rights and Responsibilities which students and parents have to sign at the beginning of every school year to acknowledge they have read it and agree to abide by the school rules. The dress described would not be allowed for our students and I would question the judgment of an adult in our county who would dress in a way that students and teachers are not allowed to dress. We try to teach our kids that there are different standards for different occasions and different cultures (we have some mothers who wear the full abaya and niqab). Job interviews or a field trip to the Kennedy Center vs a night out on the town or a day at the beach, for instance. In another venue, no worries and no judgment.

I wear my coat over my pj's to walk the dog but I think that's a different scenario that what the OP is talking about. And I don't think it's judging either; as I said before, I don't care about what someone wears outside of a school setting. If it made me uncomfortable, I could always take my kid and leave; but in a school setting you can't do that. Sure, there are a lot of things our kids are exposed to that we can't control but does that mean we just throw in the towel and say, ok anything goes? I feel like a school should be a safe haven from a lot of it, especially when we can't remove them as we see fit. So yes, in a school setting where private funds or tax payer money is the primary support, people should be required to dress appropriately for the audience.

But wasn't the feminist revolution about letting women be ourselves and not kowtowing to the rigid expectations of others?

Maybe it's just how each person interprets this, but to me, the feminist revolution was more about having equal opportunities and rights but IMHO, when a woman dresses like that, it's more demeaning than anything else.

Yes, there's a time and place for everything, including stockings worn with black short shorts! Imo, that time and place would be the boudoir, or at a party, perhaps, but not a professional setting. Btw, I would also object to a young man showing up to volunteer at school in a tight white undershirt, sleeves rolled up a la Marlon Brando!

But men outside of the "performing arts" don't usually even think about playing the beefcake card do they? Afterall, boys are raised to take themselves seriously as contributers. They are conditioned to earn self-esteem from acquiring knowledge, talent, skills. Sreet-wise and academic smarts, as well as physical strength and athletic gifts are emphasized among boys.

Unfortunately with all the strides made by early feminists that Cyn referred to, some women today are reverting back to playing the sexy waif role. They are selling themselves short, imo, because they don't feel confident in their abilities. They don't have a clue about their true worth and real gifts,and have concluded that they can't shine without the artifice and bling. That truly is sad.

When we see women like this we can make an effort to nurture their "hidden" talents, inner beauty and character. We can call attention to their deeds, efforts, and contributions, instead of their physical attributes. Some of these women have only experienced positive attention from others toward their appearance.

I also don't perceive people as judging here, so much as observing and pondering the motivations and consequences of certain choices.

Mpmpg, that is exactly why I do not personally wear my pjs! I am sure that I would be jinxing myself, and the car would break down, LOL! People I meet for the 1st time mention they've seen me because my 5 kids attract some stares, so I do not want to be more noticed! I doubt anyone would actually care, however. Just the introvert in me.

I have seen moms is PJs (dropping off kids and not volunteering). I don't care. I like living where people do not dress to impress. The moms I've met are very caring and down to earth. My kind of person!

The other extreme are the Moms that show up later in the day wearing ratty sweats and looking like they just rolled out of bed ... they are too down to earth! PJs at drop off is understandable (running late, etc) but looking like that the rest of the day is plain lazy.

This subject makes me laugh.

No matter what walk of like, there is always.....one with too much boob showing, one with pj's on, one with the twin sweater set and pearls, one with the athletic gear on, and one with the business suit and commuter sneakers.

Too much boobs showing at school does not make one sexy, it makes them inappropriate and the subject of gossip usually. And ya know what, if they're not wise to that, then they deserve the whispering, but there is always one in every crowd. Personally I don't care, I just think they look foolish to myself. I rarely even get out of my car at school drop off.

And for the record- I fall in the category of big bag with a lot of metal, big earrings, bedazzled jeans and always wear lip gloss and mascara. I just don't flaunt my boobs around- b/c at my age that's just ridiculous. I come from Jersey- and I dressed this way before the housewives shows, it's just what I know.

Good point, Chispa. We're talking about dressing like a provacative bombshell when we show up for life on one hand, and not dressing at all when we show up on the other! Putting on real clothes is just part of basic, good grooming imo. It's also fun!

I dress very casually. Most of the time you'll find me in jeans. Even so, I still derive pleasure from getting dressed with some thought. Wearing flattering colors, even if they are just displayed on a well-fitting T-shirt, or a sparkly necklace or pair of earrings, makes me happy. I love wearing makeup and jewelry and I do...every single day. Doesn't matter to me whether I'm staying home to do yardwork & housework all day, am out running errands, or meeting someone for lunch; I pull myself together to the best of my ability everyday.

Maybe no one else notices or cares what this almost 50 year old woman has on her face and body, but making an effort and playing with color and style gives me a lift!

Mpmpg, that is exactly why I do not personally wear my pjs! I am sure that I would be jinxing myself, and the car would break down, LOL! People I meet for the 1st time mention they've seen me because my 5 kids attract some stares, so I do not want to be more noticed! I doubt anyone would actually care, however. Just the introvert in me.

I have seen moms is PJs (dropping off kids and not volunteering). I don't care. I like living where people do not dress to impress. The moms I've met are very caring and down to earth. My kind of person!

"Doesn't matter to me whether I'm staying home to do yardwork & housework all day, am out running errands, or meeting someone for lunch; I pull myself together to the best of my ability everyday.

Maybe no one else notices or cares what this almost 50 year old woman has on her face and body, but making an effort and playing with color and style gives me a lift!"

Stinky, I SO get that!! This is instilled in me from my grandmother. She was exactly as you. Even at 95, in her assisted living villa, she still makes sure her hair is combed, etc. before leaving her room. She doesn't do much makeup now, just a bit of lipstick. I agree, it DOES make one feel better to know you are looking your best. An added plus is my husband appreciates the effort. Why wouldn't I want to look as good for him as I would if I were going out to meet/see others???

But back to the original question - I've never seen an outfit worn like you've described out in public. Not that I can think of. Not even on a our college campus LOL!! Although I did see a gal last year with short-shorts, a fitted man style shirt and those patterned RUBBER BOOTS! heee!! I don't have children, but have on occasion picked up a friend's daughter for her and most moms I see are dressed casual. Nothing provacative although like someone said - there's one in every crowd, I must just be missing her. You can say the same about the workplace, there is usually one there too.

Right or wrong, good or bad, everyone portrays an image, and first impressions are based upon a split-second appraisal of that image by others. Too, being taken seriously (particularly in a professional environment) is far more likely if a woman is dressed fashionably but modestly, instead of "letting it all hang out." I have seen a few women dressing in such a way at work as to cause heads to turn - and not in a positive way. Professionals should not display cleavage or the outline of "downstairs parts" to coworkers. Even if a woman feels terrific dressed that way, she needs to know that others are going to feel uncomfortable in her presence. My observations aren't quite the same as noticing provocatively-dressed moms in the classroom, since I'm thinking about what I've noticed in the office, but I do think the same principles of image/first impressions/appropriateness (and by extension, acceptability) still apply. It might not matter to some people when others dress provocatively or slovenly, but in many situations where we interact with others, it is still (thank goodness) considered proper form to follow certain widely-accepted standards of decency. I mean, we're trying to have a society here, right?
;-)

RE Pulling yourself together to the best of your ability--yes, I agree, it does make me feel better! The key is best of ability, not perfection. I really, really need new clothes but I have been pregnant every other yr on average (for the last 10 years) so I never really invest in them. I make the most of what I have, however, and do things like get a good hair cut, some makeup, brows, etc. When I lose the last of this babyweight I am really looking forward to getting some clothes. It will ge weird in a good way to finally have clothes that fit every year, ha, ha!

While I am all about dressing modestly but fashionably
I also think the bigger question is, who sets the standard?
Who defines what is slutty looking? What is a bad example?
If the school district (I am assuming this is a public school) doesn't have specific written rules, then anything out of public indecency is fine.

I see people all the time who are wearing clothes I would never wear in public. Not necessarily revealing but perhaps have offensive wording or extremely unkempt ( yet they look like they aren't homeless) and of course, the fashionable trend of cleavage that makes me wonder, but really, unless the school district sets the limit and informs the school staff to be on the alert for inappropriate styling, it's to be expected in schools that don't set clear standards.
Particularly as it's the standard for most celebrities and is all over TV and movies ( Another reason among many why I love Downton Abbey!)

I have never seen a school system that didn't have a standard dress code, public school that is. If there are no written standards I think it would be up to the principal to ensure the appropriate attire was being worn by all employees, paid staff or volunteers. I think an appropriate dress standard should be in place for boys and men too. Are boys required to wear belts to hold their pants up? I absolutely hate to see some kid walking down the street with his jeans down to his knees and his butt and boxers hanging out. With men it's even worse, I just want to frap 'em upside the head and tell him to pull his britches up.

I don't consider myself to be too conservative or a prude, but geeze....

There's a dress code for high school students- I don't know if there is one for volunteers or not.

I agree about the falling down pants on boys. WHEN is that going to go out of style? It seems like it's been in style forever!

Tina, your grandma must have been quite a sassy lady!

Anele, you're amazing! Sounds like there's going to be quite a fun shopping trip in the not too distant future!

Bumblebeez, I share your admiration of Downton Abbey fashion!

Lukki and Nance...boys and their ill-fitting britches! That's a trend I'll never understand!

Stinky, I'm going to have DA withdrawal symptoms soon.
We're finishing up season 2.