Dick, I found your post very interesting. I've read lots of questions about Mike and as you say, some are positive, many are negative. I have been searching libraries and the internet for a couple of years trying to find the information that I need to help me, my son and daughter start and run a small nursery. I sure wish we had somebody like you nearby to mentor us!!! It's a scary business world out there especially since I know so little about business stuff. I never had to work, my husband made plenty of money and I was able to homeschool our 3 kids. Then he was injured at work and is now on disability. Worker's Comp has not lived up to its promises but that's another story. The bottom line is that we have to make this nursery business work and we're doing our best. I appreciate you and all the folks on this and other forums who have given helpful advice. I appreciate the folks at the local SCORE and Small Business office. I need every bit of good advice I can get LOL!

Jill-- I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties in maintaining this garden. For sure, one of your upcoming challenges will be to figure out how to care for and maintain the garden in the long term. Are you considering forming a trust for it, or what will you do if you have to sell? These hard questions are probably even more pressing than your current maintenance woes. But, about your current concerns...have you put out the word that you need help? You might try contacting your local garden club. I used to belong to a club that was affiliated with Garden Clubs of America. It was a service organization and so did take on community projects of different sorts. One year, a grant was offered, I think by Shell Oil, of matching funds for the restoration or renovation of a historic garden. Of course, the club had to justify the importance of the garden and the project had to pass a screening process. Just a thought. Also, although it might not be financially viable to save the property, you might find solace in moving some of the plants to protected homes--share them with friends or relatives who are avid gardeners. If there is an heirloom seed company near you or a botanical garden that would be interested in heirlooms, they might like to save, propagate, and distribute the seeds--thereby ensuring the life of some of your treasured plants. My advice is to get on the phone and let people know you need help--people feel weird about asking, especially when doing so might sound insulting. Check out the yellow pages for garden clubs--there will be several, all affiliated with different national organizations. Will your local historical society help? Many communities and bigger corporations host clean-up days during which volunteers go out into the neighborhood to do chores for for those who can't--make sure they know about you. Good luck. I hope things look up for you.

thanx

Yes it is a living hell. We do have paid help that comes in to stay with my father from 9-4 weekdays but after 4 and on weekends its me. I work full time and then go home to take care of dad, cook an evening meal, do laundry, clean kitchen, give him his evening meds and put him to bed. Plus I have horses, dogs, cats and a teenage daughter to take care of. It's like having a second job. Weekends, I'm stuck at home with Dad, maybe I can leave him for a few hours to do shopping, but that's it. I can't sleep in on weekends because I have to be down at Dad's house to get him up, give him his shower, meds, breakfast, etc. I hate being a caregiver. I hate changing his urine soaked diapers, I hate the constant smell of urine, I hate having to wash his urine soaked clothes and bedding. I hate giving him a shower and dressing him. Because he and my mother refused to do any advanced planning, a nursing home is out of the question. He has too much property to qualify for Medicaid and not enough money to do private pay for a nursing home. I have lived on property owned by my parents for the past 20+ years and have helped them all that time. They were supposed to deed the piece of land that I live on to me in return for the work that I did on the place but they didn't do it. Now its too late, Medicaid goes back 5 years. I was a fool to buy a mobile home and put it on that land without having a deed. I realize that now but I wanted to live in the country and I thought I could trust my parents. Hah! My mother is dead but I resent her and my dad. I have 2 siblings, a brother and sister, both younger. My brother lives with my dad but does very little to help with him. He will occasionally help put him to bed or get him up in the mornings but that is it. He has a girlfriend that he met on line and goes off on weekends to be with her. My sister lives 80 miles away and comes over a couple of times a month for a few hours and then leaves. She was supposed to come over for a long weekend a few weeks ago and look after dad while my daughter and I took a short vacation. What does she do? She takes him camping! So when I get back from my vacation I have a ton of dirty laundry and an exhausted 85 year old to deal with. The camping trip made his CHF worse and I have to deal with it. She went behind my back and got POA but she's never here to deal with anything. My dad owes taxes on the sale of his farm. I tried to work with his attorney and his accountant to get them paid. That was when sister got POA because I "was trying to take over". The taxes haven't been paid and interest and penalties are accruing. My sister does nothing but she's quick to criticize what I do. I am "mean" because I don't consult my early stage dementia father about every little thing. I make decisions and do what needs to be done. I don't have the time nor the energy to ask him if he wants to get rid of the soiled sofa. So yes, caregiving is a living hell. God help me, but when my father dies, I won't be sad. I'll be glad because I will have my life back and I will never have to see my b-word of a sister again.