My situation is a little bit different from yours, but I think the division of assets should have been done when the person entered the home. I live in Kansas, but medicaid is a federal service so am assuming it will be the same everywhere. I talked to an SRS rep today about care homes, medicaid and the division of assest and this is what I found out. If/when I put my husband in a care home, I will pay the first months bill. Then I will go to the SRS taking in proof of our financial resources. I will then fill out a medicaid form and will learn how much of our assets will be for my husband and how much income for me. The money will all be left in my control, I will pay the nursing home bill and when I spend down to a certain amount medicaid will step in and take over my husbands expenses. I read in the paper about Medicaid was thinking of putting liens on the spouse's home to recover their expenses. I was concerned about that. I question the SRS rep and he said that has not taken affect yet. I mentioned I might need money and have a need to buy a cheaper home so I would have money to live on. He said in that event the lien would be signed off and likely be put on the next home I buy. I was much relieved talking to the rep because I have gotten to the point I need some R&R, if I don't get it, my husband will have to go to a care home. I have already had some stress problems health wise.

Hi Norwega, My sister has 3 teenagers, is a single mom, so finances are tight, but she has never learned to manage her own money well. Your sister's kids will always (and HAVE been) watching her values & habits. Will SHE be willing to read and/or listen too CDs/Tapes to break her established patterns and re-learn new habits? If not... the kids are not likely to do anything different UNLESS they are doing so in DEFIANCE to Mom... Her middle son seems to be following in her footsteps, wanting to have things before he has the money. He's in basketball, which will hopefully result in a college scholarship. I'm looking for recommendations on books or other that our mom, his gramma, can work with on him on learning finances. Character is the underlying issue in finance. Far more so than any mathematical principles. If he's REALLY strong in Basketball, I recommend 1st getting him addicted to the focus on Principles by giving him "They Call Me Coach" by John Wooden (the winningest college dynasty basketball coach ever in history.) They Call Me Coach (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Coach-John-Wooden/dp/0071424911/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175881006&sr=1-1 If your nephew is a student of the game, he'll definitely "see the light." A class on finances is offered in the high school, but he's a junior, and I imagine he's already committed to classes for his senior year. This came up because he wants to borrow money from me to go to prom. One thought was he could do chores for his gramma to work off the money owed from me. Please advise. Here's a list of appropriate "starter books" for anyone (but especially young people); Rich Dad's Escape from the Rat Race: How to Become a Rich Kid by Following Rich Dad's Advice (Rich Dad) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dads-Escape-Rat-Race/dp/0316000477/ref=sr_1_16/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880409&sr=8-16 Rich Dad Poor Dad for Teens: The Secrets About Money--That You Don't Learn in School! (Rich Dad Poor Dad) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Teens-Money-That/dp/0446693219/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&qid=1175880409&sr=8-16 Rich Dad's Rich Kid, Smart Kid: Giving Your Children a Financial Headstart (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dads-Kid-Smart-Financial/dp/0446677485/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&qid=1175880409&sr=8-16 Think and Grow Rich: The Landmark Bestseller--Now Revised and Updated for the 21st Century [ABRIDGED] (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Think-Grow-Rich-Landmark-Bestseller-Now/dp/1585424331/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880523&sr=1-2 The Wisdom of James Allen : Including As a Man Thinketh, The Path to Prosperity, The Mastery of Destiny, The Way of Peace, and Entering the Kingdom (Radiant Life) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-James-Allen-Including-Prosperity/dp/1889606006/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880588&sr=1-2 Richest Man in Babylon (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Richest-Man-Babylon-George-Clason/dp/0451205367/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-7614444-2019238?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175880631&sr=1-1 Hope these help! Dave Donhoff Strategic Equity & Mortgage Planner

Sorry for the length of this: It's half-amusing, half-offensive to be accused of shilling for anyone, since Im as self-taught as one can possibly be. Dreamgarden seems to have ignored all my many posts on other threads over the years. So let me restate my (lack of) credentials to reassure you that I have no vested interest in whether anyone ever uses a planner, advisor, broker, or banker. Havent earned a penny from anyone since 2006 when I retired and the last time I met my ex-boss for lunch, I bought HIM lunch, LOL. For the record, most of my friends and all of my family are like DH & me - we don't have enough liquid assets to be of interest to most financial planners. I have free access to CFPs thru DHs retirement portfolio, but I dont need them. Why? Because I enjoy finance and investing the same way I enjoy reading history, science, and mystery novels IOW, for the sheer fun of it. I read extensively Ive had a subscription to the on-line WSJournal since it was first offered, and read it every day plus I clip articles obsessively from a variety of websites. But I would NEVER assume that others want to spend their time the same way. Old Joyful, for instance, likes to invest in individual stocks. He and I had a recent discussion thread about this. I have no interest in anything but mutual funds. Individual stocks dont fit into our tax and financial situation. I have the healthiest respect for his knowledge and acumen, but the fact remains, he lives in Canada and I live in the US. My financial planning is going to be very different than his, just as my goals are different. I know from our own experience how hard it is to sit down and do estate planning. We dont have much of an estate compared to many, yet it took us decades to learn to identify the things we needed to do, so we could finally do the things we wanted to do. Ignorance is most certainly NOT bliss, as we, and so many others, have discovered! I am a firm believer that we should be teaching some of this stuff in school. The world has changed rapidly and drastically, and us middle-class Boomers are stuck trying to figure out a world so much more dangerous than our parents grew up with. If you read my post more carefully, you would see that I wrote that even cheapie (e.g., simple) plans can at least provide a starting point. I do my own planning, using the WSJournal calculators (a subset of which are available on Schwabs website, or so Ive been told). Ive tried others on the web, but wasnt satisfied as they cant be altered to fit our own unusual circumstances. If a simple planning software can help someone, all to the good. I havent found them very helpful, but that doesnt mean I call them all garbage. WSJs toolset comes closest to allowing me to set the appropriate parameters, without having to pay someone to do a plan for us. Why should I pay, when I have the knowledge to do it myself? Its not hard, it just takes some effort and decision-making. THIS is what a planner is for: to help you (if you cant do it yourself) quantify where you are right now, and where you want to be. This is related to investing, but investing is only a very modest part of it. Its the planning process thats critical, yet not well understood. YOU must do the decision-making. No software program or customized plan means anything if you cant accept the reality of what your current circumstances are, and are willing to work at reaching your goals. I recently talked a young family member out of seeing a planner because I was able to help her identify some long-term goals. She also needed some very basic help diversifying her portfolio. In a decade or so they should probably meet with a planner to ensure theyre on track for whatever their goals are at that time. But until then I told her there was no reason to consult with anyone unless a life-changing event occurs. Its more important for her to have all legal docs in order, at this stage of life. I learned a lot from my ex-boss "G", but I have never referred anyone to him. The people I know who have enough money for financial advisors, already have them. The one time I was emailed off-line to ask for an intro, I refused to do so as the specific circumstances of that person made it inappropriate, in my view. "G" is semi-retired, but stays in the business because he loves working with people. He does a lot of pro bono work and is both well known and respected here as he's been active in professional organizations for over 30 yrs now. He trains his office staff not so much on what to do, but what NOT to do. He is ethical and very, very precise about working for the good of his clients, which is why he has many families who are second- and third-generation clients. BTW, Madoffs clients should have known something was "funny" just in the fact he had them writing out checks to his name. Thats a definite no-no the assets should always be held by a third-party institution. The woman (also a CFP) who works in "Gs" office and produces the financial plans is a former elder care specialist who got into the financial side late in life. These customized plans cost a minimum of $4K and range up to $10K. They are certainly NOT for everyone, but when appropriate, can make a huge difference in someone's life. Most people dont need them, but the ones who do, need them a great deal! I worked with some of those clients, and their lives were definitely better for having gotten a good financial plan and then executed it properly. Actually, now that I think of it I did refer someone to my ex-boss. I told my DH that if I die before he does, he's to sell the house (I maintain it and the garden in addition to all the finances; he has no interest in such things), take the insurance proceeds, and bring the money to "G" to handle. You did not have a good advisor. Thats not your fault. Its hard to evaluate credentials when youre on that steep learning curve. But a good advisor isnt looking for the next hot thing for you a good advisor helps you identify your goals and gives you a roadmap on how to get from where you are to where you want to be. A good advisor says "no" to you almost as often as s/he says "yes." Its important, but difficult, to learn how to differentiate the good from the bad. The more educated we are in this area, the better we can tell who can help us and who cannot. Id liken financial planning/investing to painting a room. You can do it the sloppy easy way. You can do a "sorta-kinda" okay paintjob, shoving the furniture out the way and covering it. Or, you can do more extensive prep work: masking the moldings, laying dropcloths, priming and using two coats. You can use cheap paint and cheap brushes. You can use top quality paint and the best brushes or rollers. Its always your choice. Each method gets the job done, to varying levels of satisfaction, cost, time expended, and durability. Saying that **ALL** CFPs are worthless is like saying all professional painters are worthless. Some are, and some arent. Some people need one all the time/every time, and some only need one on occasion. It isnt for me OR for you to make that unilateral judgment. Using a pro for anything is always an individual decision that should never be taken lightly. Nor should that decision be disparaged, once made. Often a pro does do a better job than an amateur can. Sure, a talented amateur can sometimes better a pro but they need the talent, the interest, the skill, and the time. Not everyone has those in equal measure. To expect it of every person is unrealistic and unfair. I feel fortunate to have had the generous and thoughtful assistance of others in my life. Weve had some serious setbacks that could easily have turned out badly, but in the end everything worked out (so far at least!). If I can help others avoid some of the mistakes we've made, then I feel its worth the effort. We did okay (my ROI over 25 yrs is way better than average), but perhaps we could have done better if we hadnt been so ignorant for so long. We were at times the recipients of sheer dumb luck, but thats something one shouldnt be counting on to happen. Dreamgarden, may you have better luck in the future finding people or resources able to help you.

Interesting thoughts -- we could all improve on paperwork storage in our homes. Two things I think I'm doing well that differ from the above mentioned Script, and someone else might find some ideas in my methods: Taxes. Yes, like Script, I am scrupulous about maintaining records for my taxes. About a dozen years ago I went to the office supply and bought two big boxes of BRIGHT GREEN folders (green like money). I labeled them Taxes 2000 ... Taxes 2001 ... Taxes 2002 ... Taxes 2003 ... and so on. Given my family's typical lifespan, I made enough green folders to take me to age 110 -- probably more than I'll need, but I'm ready! They're all stored in my file cabinet, taking up very little space. Now when I receive anything tax-related -- a charitable receipt, an end-of-the-year bank statement, whatever -- I have a place to file it. In April, I have a place to file a copy of my taxes, and I can go back and see previous tax years. For the rest of my life, this system is in place. Death folder. Ours is a notebook. Two identical notebooks, actually, since we have two children. Our girls are young adults now, but they've never dealt with an estate -- even if they don't open it 'til they're old, it'll be useful to them. It contains a lot of stuff: - A personal letter to the two of them - A list of our wishes about funeral and items we'd like donated to various family members or charities - A list of things they must do immediately; it starts with going to our house and taking possession of the dog, but it also includes small details like canceling our voting registration and destroying any medicines in the house. At every turn this list includes addresses and phone numbers, including the lawyer we suggest for probate, the funeral home our family's always used, and family members who should be contacted. - A copy our will; they know what's in it -- everything split between the two of them - A list of our financial assets -- bank accounts, investments, insurance, deeds/maps of real estate ... when our youngest became a legal adult, we made the two girls co-beneficiaries of every account; note that this was done before either was married, so our two kids -- not future son-in-laws -- will own these items. - A list of the bills we pay each month -- electricity, phone, even the guy who cuts our grass. - Official copies of our birth certificates, our marriage certificates, and the girls' birth certificates -- they might not be needed, but the girls won't have to scramble to find them - A flashdrive with all of the above in digital format plus photographs that might be useful in putting together the funeral Our rule: We keep two years of tax returns in the notebooks ... the reason being that someday an accountant will file our final estate tax return, and he or she will want our last two years of returns -- so every April we pull out the notebook, discard one old return and insert the newest ... so our rule is that every April we look over the notebook and update anything that's changed. For example, last year we changed bank accounts, and someday we hope to add items concerning grandchildren to the book. Our girls know that the notebooks are stored in the safe, and they know where the key to the safe is hidden, and they know it's labeled with a misleading name so that a thief wouldn't look at it twice. Last thought on this notebook: Though this project took us the better part of a year --- we kept remembering one more thing, one more thing that really should be included -- we didn't find it difficult emotionally. I suspect that if we were older and/or one of us were in poor health, it might've been different.