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cacocobird

Stopping Driving

9 years ago

I'm 70, and my driving has become more erratic. I was in a car accident -- no one hurt, but I can't afford to fix my car.


After thinking it over, I decided it was time for me to stop driving. I've had fender benders, run up on curbs, and was too close to a truck and my passenger side mirror got knocked off.


I know there are a lot of good transportation alternatives for seniors.


Sometimes I'm okay with it, and other times freaked out. I'm very independent and I'm worried about how I will deal with this emotionally.


Has anyone else done this? Please share.

Comments (35)

  • 9 years ago

    I haven't experienced this personally, but I applaud you for making that decision. It sounds like it's for the best given what you've shared about your recent accidents, and it's great that you're able to look at the situation objectively instead of emotionally. I'm glad there haven't been any injuries, though I'm sorry about the damage to your car.

  • 9 years ago

    Like Chi, I admire your clear thinking on the issue. I'm sure it was not an easy decision to make. I'm glad you'll be able to take advantage of transportation for seniors. I don't have a story to share--just wanted to wish you the best.

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  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I stopped driving a year ago because of increasing hearing impairment. I have a tricycle and two bicycles, I go to the store, around the area, no problem. I've had fun, met some people, and got exercise with my cycling.

    I feel I made the right decision, like you, there were a couple incidents that made me think. I'm happy I paid attention, not only for my own sake but for the others out on the road.

  • 9 years ago

    I'm 77 and every year I give this decision some thought. Not because I'm experiencing the difficulties you've been having Cacoco...but because it's getting to be a financial burden that I could do without. For the time being, I shall renew my registration for another couple of years but if I have any qualms about my driving skills whatsoever...I'll give it up without pause. And I'm as independent as they get. :-)

    I few years ago I found it necessary to rely on the local senior citizen bus service and I was quite relieved to have it at my disposal. I needed to have medical treatments that wouldn't allow me to drive myself to the facility and home again. I was so grateful for the availability of this service that it never dawned on me to question its use as a senior citizen. My trips here and there have become far less over the last few years [thanks in great part to the internet] and I'm confident that this bus service will more than meet my needs when the time comes. I'll just have to get used to planning ahead. They don't pick up and deliver at anyone's beckon and call. Appointment times need to be scheduled.

    Just think how relieved you'll be at not having to worry about all the responsibilities of having a car. I sat back in that bus seat when I needed it and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. It only cost me a monetary donation of my choosing and I felt quite chauffeured.

    I may be next in line, Cacoco. Writing about my own experience makes me wonder why I don't do it now rather than spending more money for another couple of years.

  • 9 years ago

    At 70, I am still going along OK with my driving. I figure that I will turn in my keys when the time might come that I cannot back out of the garage successfully. (The missus cannot drive in or out very well.)

    Many years ago, I had to take away my father's car keys; he was still driving one of those 'boat' station wagons and was a danger to lots of people. My problem at the time was that he was in Phoenix and I was thousands of miles away. I had to resort to having a couple of my nephews drive from Texas and do the deed. He managed to do his errands and such with the van that was available at his facility. He would always wait until the last moment and then ask for special treatment. He would not get it and he would pout (or so I heard from the front office).

  • 9 years ago

    I have never liked driving! Recently, I have found it difficult to drive at night. I will avoid if at all possible. Luckily my DH does not have an issue with it and so we still can go out at night.

    I am concerned about all your incidents. Have you had a good physical and eye check up lately?

    For me, I am a nervous driver. I like to know where I am going and hate when you have to make split second lane changes to follow from one highway to another.

    Although I don't mind highway driving, I am finding that if I can avoid them, then I do.

    I have realized that I do not have to be in a rush to be anywhere. If it's something important I leave an ample amount of time.

    You are fortunate that you have alternatives.

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    There are more alternatives available than ever before for independent travel to replace what people are accustomed to when driving. Municipal senior transport agencies available in many places aren't always timely or reliable.

    The wide availability of Uber and Lyft can help fill in the gaps for those no longer driving. Many oldsters don't have smartphones that easy use of these services require and for them there's a complimentary service called GoGoGrandparent (that we recently set up one of our older family members with). What GGP does is to allow ordering an Uber or Lyft ride by making a phone call. Once registered, the user can call GGP and push one number to say "Pick me up at home" or another number to say "Pick me up where you dropped me off", or other numbers to make arrangements for other destinations, other pickup locations, or to talk to a representative. Notifications of the rides ordered and taken can be sent to a third person, like a family member.

    Good luck and congratulations for making a good decision before anything worse had happened to you or others.

  • 9 years ago

    Thank you for all your help. My family has been worried about my driving, so they are very pleased that I am doing this.

    Elmer J. Fudd -- thanks! That service looks great. I have signed up.


  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Great, happy to help. Please note cacocobird that there is a small GGP charge for their service, but it isn't much. For our older relative it's been a great alternative for those circumstances when time certainty (like a timely arrival for a doctor appointment) is required.

  • PRO
    9 years ago

    I'm three years older than you and I still drive 1000 each way each summer for vacation. You're far too young to be having all these problems with your driving. You need to make a doctor's app't and find out what is wrong. Your independence will be seriously compromised if you no longer drive.

  • 9 years ago

    Yes, it is a hard decision to make. I had vision problems and when I had cataract surgery, it went bad. I realized over time that I should not be driving. One thing that helped convince me was my DS's comment when he said "Mom, you really should give it up...there are idiots out there on the road!" He is right, people driving while drinking or on drugs or texting, etc. The fact that this was two years ago, and I was only 90 years old then and had never had any kind of accident, not even a speeding ticket, had a lot to do with it, too. I live in a Retirement Community and we have bus service on certain days for different activities. My DD lives about 5 miles away and she takes me to my doctor trips so we manage fine. BUT, do put yourself first, and remember....there are idiots out there!!.

  • 9 years ago

    I'm hoping safe, self driving cars will available soon for everyone who would like one.

  • 9 years ago

    Self driving cars would be nice. I do believe that we will eventually have them.

    The people who are buying it are picking up the car on Tuesday. I've very glad that it's settled.

  • 9 years ago

    Anglophilia, with all due respect, people age differently. While it's a great idea for cacocobird to have a check up to be sure there's no physical impairment that might be fixed, it doesn't guarantee that she does have an issue that's curable and she'll be back driving soon.

    Cacocobird, I too admire you for acknowledging that it's time to hang up your car keys. I wish my DFIL (now passed) had done so as his driving was becoming erratic towards the end, though that wasn't the reason for his passing.

  • 9 years ago

    Thank you, Colleenoz. I did have a check-up. Yes, people do age differently, and statistically people over 70 are at risk from dangerous driving. Physically I'm fine. The symptoms that have caused all the erratic driving are a result of aging.


    I've made my peace with it, although once in a while it hits me as being very sad. I'm lucky to have all the local resources that I do, and my daughter lives ten minutes away. It's another big change, but I will be able to deal with it.


  • 9 years ago

    Good for you, cacocobird!

    There are many reasons to curtail or stop driving...I've had to make accommodations for myself ever since I learned how to drive at 16! I don't think that anglophilia realizes how judgemental she sounds.

    cacocobird thanked rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
  • 9 years ago

    While I am still driving, there are places I don't go any more, I never drove often on the freeways, so I don't now. I respect drivers that do it all the time and I don't need to upset then not being as fast to turn or etc. I just stay to my small towns. I have pretty much stoped driving at night, because lights have started to bother me.

  • 9 years ago

    I had the same experience. I stopped driving at night, and then I stopped driving on the freeway. A while after that, my driving became more erratic -- I got in an accident because the sun was blinding me and I didn't see the car in front of me.


    Before that, I had scraped a couple of cards when I was trying to park. I began having trouble staying in the lanes. I had my eyes checked, etc and they were fine.


    I did some research, and talked with my doctor. Apparently, this progression is common among older drivers. I decided to stop driving.

  • PRO
    9 years ago

    I'm not being judgemental at all! I'm just very concerned about WHY she's having all these accidents. At my pulmonary rehab, everyone is over 70 and we all still drive. One man is a very active 92! Yes, people for age differently, but 70 seems very young to be having all these problems unless the OP was never a very good, confident driver.

  • 9 years ago

    >>unless the OP was never a very good, confident driver.<< No, that's not judgemental at all.

  • 9 years ago

    I think it is a safe and intelligent move to make.

    I'm in my early 30s and I've already noticed that driving at night bothers me so I try to avoid it when I can.

    I'm accutely aware of the fact that my vision is reduced and don't feel quite as comfortable traveling 75 mph down a dark highway with only my headlights to illuminate my path and potential obstacles.

    I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to give up driving in my 70s and I truly feel every responsible adult should evaluate their own skills around that age to determine if they truly still possess the safe and quick response times necessary to be a safe driver.

    Some do, many don't. Giving up some of your personal freedom to ensure the safety of not only yourself but other vehicles passengers on the road seems a small price to pay for the greater good of our society.

    I've known many older drivers who seem to think they are still safe drivers because they haven't had a serious accident (yet) or no one's been hurt in their minor fender benders.

    This isn't safe driving!!! Safe drivers don't scrape the cars next to them, or run-over curbs, or hit poles.

    I just don't understand why some people feel like their right to independence should trump the safety of others.

    I don't care if you are 25 or 65, if you can't safely and calmly operate a motor vehicle without having minor dents and dings, suck it up buttercup!! Driving isn't meant for you and you are endangering others and yourself every time you decide to get behind the wheel.


    I just had a talk with my 7 and 9 year old the other day about driving and I told them they SHOULD be nervous about driving because they will be operating a one ton machine that could easily kill them or others if they aren't cautious.

    It shouldn't be approached in a cavalier manner. Many people should have their priveledge to drive revoked based on previous examples of unsafe driving practices.

    I really wish every person was required to pass a driving test every year.

  • 9 years ago

    I just don't understand why some people feel like their right to independence should trump the safety of others. I don't care if you are 25 or 65, if you can't safely and calmly operate a motor vehicle without having minor dents and dings, suck it up buttercup!!

    Texax_Gem, while I don't disagree with you that unsafe drivers should take themselves off the road, I suspect you'll become a little more empathetic toward them in a few decades.

  • 9 years ago

    I'm laughing at a memory of my dear dad's driving as he aged. For most of his life, he was an extremely conscientious driver, but a little stodgy in the speed department. But, when he got older, his foot got heavier.....he would pass every car on the road!

    If a comment was made, his consistent reply was, "I'm just keeping up with the rest of the traffic on the road."

    Liar, liar, pants on fire!

  • 9 years ago

    Your independence will be seriously compromised if you no longer drive.


    I stopped driving and I'm still pretty independent. I figured my independence would be seriously compromised if I had to stay in a coffin.

  • 9 years ago

    There is another way to approach the older and driving issue, one that doesn't require input from family and friends. 4 1/2 years ago when Mother may have had a TIA (age 84, her doctor and neurologist couldn't be sure, it was so temporary), her doctor had asked her to not drive until the status of her health more clear. Then, when a few months passed, he told me his employer (Kaiser) wouldn't let him assume the liability of telling her she could drive again.

    We took her to an occupational therapist who did a cognitive evaluation. Then, checked for any physical limitations....vision, flexibility, could she look over her right shoulder when making lane changes etc and not too arthritic to do that ;0)

    He drove with her. His assessment was she could drive with his blessing (in writing, and he did have the liability coverage to do that) if she would take two brush up driving classes.

    Mom had never had a driving lesson and was somewhat offended. But she arranged two private sessions with a licensed instructor as required and drove three more years - until moving to a retirement apartment in a much larger city when she sold her car and gave up driving.

  • 9 years ago

    Thank you for your support. I appreciate it. I'm very relieved to shop.


    Anglophilia -- I have other reasons, but they are no one's business and will remain private. Please drop it.

  • 9 years ago

    A short PS: After noticing so many more replies to the driving/age question I came back and read them all. I'll add a couple more remarks. Age has less importance than you might realize when it comes to your State's laws. I was 90, and yet my (new) Driver's License, which was given to me the day I turned in my tags, is still good until my next birthday, which will be my 93rd. And, just in passing, my neighbor across the street, (we were the same age) had backed into his garage door (on the way out) three times before he decided to move into an apartment with no garage. Finally, no one would ride with him; he has passed on now. And one more thing: another neighbor, the one who who bought my car, had his 90th birthday two days after he bought it. Yep, he totaled it in less than a week. He is driving around our Community in a golf cart now. I think the State should rethink renewing Drivers Licenses for older folks.

  • 9 years ago

    The state renewed my husband's grandmothers license when she was 98 for another 7 years with no test! Just ridiculous.

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    cacocobird, I understand this is your decision and I hope you are perfectly comfortable with it. My story of my mothers driving was a little off topic in that she wanted to drive, and we as a family weren't sure what might be best.

    You said you had discussed with your doctor. The months mother wasn't driving it seems like it took her doctors signature for her to be eligible for the senior para transit tickets, where she had to-her-door bus service at a very minimal cost. Is that true in your area? And of course Uber has risen greatly in popularity in recent months too.

  • 9 years ago

    Interesting, my sister has night vision problems and she has allergy to dairy so I'm wondering if it's related to vitamins. Going to share this with her. night vision

  • 9 years ago

    I think if you don't feel comfortable driving then you should not. My Mother drove until in her 90's and she on her own decided when to quit. She did not start driving until after my Dad died and she was then 68. I don't have to worry about that, I have never driven. There are not many ways to get around from place to place in this area where I live. Not even a taxi in the nearby towns.

    Sue

  • 9 years ago

    There are a lot of transportation options here for senior citizens. They cost money, but not much. And I won't be paying for insurance, gas or car maintenance.

  • 9 years ago

    Well,I will be 60 next month-and driving has become VERY difficult for me now.

    I too,have the night vision issues-have had for 30 years.(dairy & other food allergies as well)

    Now,I have diabetes and the cataracts,and find driving very very difficult-so,ONLY on days when my left eye isnt as foggy,I'll venture down to the Library about 2 miles from my home.

    I find I am nothing short of terrified at the speed ppl are driving now,and am more worried about the ones texting and on phones that scares the life out of me,even as a passenger.

    We're in a cottage country area,so a good lot of the time tourists come north and drive like they are on the freeways south of us,which our roads are not equipped to handle.

    Then,take into consideration the numerous large animals on the roads now more than ever,and driving is becoming more of a "square up your shoulders and prepare yourself" feat than ever.

    Good for you cacoco....you'll do fine with the changes




  • 9 years ago

    I think that if any action makes you feel uneasy, you should listen to that inner voice and follow what's right for you. It's a respect that you pay to yourself.


    I too commend you for your decision.