Leave them alone. No pruning this time of year unless the plants were very tall and prone to being rocked by wind (like your garden variety Nor'Easter). The temps have been similar to mid-spring, close to 60 most of the time (a frost here and there during the evening) and a lot of plants are still blooming. The Knock Outs in this area look just as good as they did in May. I've got a few with blooms on them. It happens frequently in our area that we have blooms well into November. But, nothing to do now except to wait for pruning mid-March/early-April.

The two fruitless olives to consider are "Swan Hill" or "Wilson's" (Olea europaea wilsonii). They will be labeled and although you may see flowers, they don't produce viable pollen so no fruit. You might also consider Mastic, a small/medium sized evergreen tree. Several of the trees you mentioned above are deciduous (loses leaves in winter), which may or may not be a consideration for you. Eucalyptus microtheca - grows to 30 or 40 feet tall and wide. Mexican redbud - this tree is deciduous and may be difficult to find Monk's Pepper (Vitex agnus-castus) - spikes of purple, pink or white flowers are followed by small BB sized seeds. Deciduous in winter. Texas redbud - deciduous Here is a link to a site that has over 600 plants and a great search feature that will help you with your tree choices. Here is a link that might be useful: Water Wise Landsaping

This phrase jumped out at me... "My husband loves me very much I know and would do anything to get me back" First off, what in the world makes you think your husband loves you very much? If he has abused you to the point of literally "driving you crazy" he probably does not love you at all. Of course he would 'do anything to get you back'...he is a control freak and wants to control you, that does NOT mean he loves you. Do you have any idea what your husband's personality disorder is? Borderline, Narcissistic, something else? If he is willing to and can get help for that...either through counseling or medication, you may have a shot, but this is really a problem that he needs to get fixed for himself. I know I've mentioned this on other posts, but be very cautious of marriage counseling. Your main problem isn't your marriage...it is his personality disorder and it should be addressed separately, probably with a psychiatrist. I've heard of many instances where abusers actually abuse, lie and degrade in marriage counseling sessions (many counselors are clueless) and also where these clueless counselors suggest even more control is given to the controller...which can back fire big time. Obviously, you may want to seek help or talk to someone too, but please don't be sucked into a bad counseling situation with your husband. His problem needs to be addressed and 'fixed' first and then you can work on your marriage. Obviously, I don't know how bad it is, but if "he" truly drove you to the point of a mental breakdown, I would think it's probably good riddance. Love may conquer all, but sadly I'm not seeing that he loves you.

It takes longer than a single season for a lavender plant to flop or splay open permanently :-) Commercial lavender farms in the western half of the state recommend pruning twice a season: lightly in late summer or early fall (after the bloom cycle), just cutting back all the old flower stems and an inch or so the foliage and then again in spring once you see new growth developing. The spring pruning should be a much harder one, taking the foliage back several inches - but not into bare wood - and shaping into a rounded mound. Even with regular, twice annual pruning, a lavender plant will not look wonderful indefinitely. They will develop a gnarly, woody interior and begin to splay after about 7 years. Best replaced every 5-7 years.