yeonassky, I had my two daughters in the kitchen when they were small enough that they were sitting on the counter in their footie pajamas. I've started the grandkids at the same age.

Neither of my girls really like to cook, although my youngest does like to make things like cake pops and they both like to decorate cookies and cakes. My oldest granddaughter, she's the cook, she loves to cook and bake, and she's been helping me can since she was 3 or 4. Now she's winning ribbons at the local county fair and there are a couple of threads going currently with her in them. Here, she's always been known as the "Monkey Princess", LOL. Her brother likes to make hummus and trail mix and frosting and my smaller Princess, Madison, just likes to help. Her very small sister, Maci, is only two, but she likes to stir and to eat.

So yes, my girls spent their lives in my kitchen and still make some of my Grandma's recipes, like her blueberry crisp and molasses cookies. The Monkey Princess is 12 now, and still uses her Great-Great Grandmother's bread recipe, cans GG Grandmother's relish and apple butter and sucks up every bit of cooking information I can provide. She sold some baked goods last year under the Michigan Cottage Food law and wants to expand this year into cookies, bread, jam and jelly, eggs and produce.

The rest of the family just wants to eat it, LOL.

Annie

My older sister and I did most of the meal preparations because our mother worked, so I knew the importance of teaching our kids. Our daughter and son were part of food preparation from the time they were about 2-3. They learned proper table setting as well. As soon as they were interested in the process, they also were give small tasks. It was just part of being a family to do these things together. We even had a "Miss Manners" tip about etiquette each day. This was especially necessary when our daughter was active in Civil Air Patrol and they had to mind their manners at their banquets, so we used 3x5 cards to work on them during meals.

When they were 10 they were in charge of planning a menu and preparing one meal each week, and hubby did one meal on the weekend (he had 4 older sisters and wasn't ever taught cooking, so I had to include him in lessons over the years). Everyone eats, and I was determined every family member needed to know how to plan a balanced meal and how to do basic cooking and baking - for their sake. If the "part-time cooks" forgot their meal, they had to pay to take us out to McDonald's. Each of the kids did that just once :-). The meal had to include a meat or meat substitute, and foods from the other food groups - dairy, vegetables and fruit. It wasn't long before the kids got their favorite recipes from family members and their friends mom's and they each filled a 3x5 recipe box (and so did hubby - the non-cook). They left home with a stack of recipes and a number of cookbooks.

Fast forward.... I teach a Geezer's Cooking Class at the Senior Center. Elderly men who are needing to take over K.P. duties due to a wife's failing health or as a new widow attend these classes. Most men can fry an egg, grill a good steak and burger, and toss a salad, but often need help with grocery shopping, meal planning, and basic cooking/baking skills. I patterned the class after the book "Clueless in the Kitchen" by Evelyn Raab. This is a cookbook for teens, but it works for any beginners.

I also take some recipes from K-States Kids a Cookin' - http://www.kidsacookin.org/  LOTS of how-to information and videos at the web site.

-Grainlady

I only have the one son, he's 41. The only thing he ever asked me to teach him to make was when he was in his twenties, he wanted to impress his girlfriend with dinner. Easy recipe - roast chicken, slathered with butter, lots and herbs and seasoning, on a bed of cooked Vigo wild rice mix with enough sherry in the bottom to keep the rice from drying out. I guess it impressed her a lot, she wound up marrying him. I think other than grilling that's the only thing he was ever interested in learning how to cook.

I "allowed" my kids to cook....as my mother allowed me.
As a little kid, my son was a very picky eater, but I found that he loved food he made himself. He "invented" a hot dog, split down the middle, filled with chedder cheese and grilled in the little oven.
The only time I taught either of them, was once he was in college, and by default the cook for the apartment and I told him how I made my spaghetti sauce....and another time, after he was married and having thanksgiving dinner at his inlaws....and he volunteered to make a pumpkin pie. With the phone on my shoulder as I was stuffing my turkey, I walked him through that one....and he got raves!

I think it's important to teach kids at least the basics. Like laundry and cleaning. It's a life skill that has to be taught so that kids will eventually be self-sufficient adults.

It's crucial to be food and proper eating literate.

It's a great way to impress your date, too.

I've been teaching other people's kids how to cook my favorite recipes. :)

I'm like Plllog - I try to teach other people how to cook my favorite recipes, so that they will be able to make what I like, in case I am unable to do it myself. Unfortunately, no one seems to be interested in learning, and that is why I started writing down recipes - and my brother can follow the instructions I've written down, but he seldom cooks, except for outdoor grilling and smoking.

My sister in law was interested in some of my recipes, and my niece's husband also wanted copies of my recipes, and so I have shared with them, but they are still in the realm of in-laws rather than actual relatives.

Both of my children, daughter and son, were taught to cook from an early age, by initially allowing them to stir things and then as they grew older graduating to harder tasks, then actually cooking. We finally divvied up meals by having each of responsible for one scheduled evening meal a week, not only planning the meal, but putting the items needed on the grocery list. For each of our nights, we cooked, layed the table, cleaned up the kitchen, and washed dishes. My son is a much better cook than his wife (she even admits it).

I'll also say, my cousins ex-wife did learn to make challah from my mother, and started making her own variations to the point where my cousin asked her to make other kinds of bread. OTOH, I've shared my mother's challah recipe with relatives and friends who wanted it, complete with full instructions and offers to let them bake with me. None of them want to make it. They all want to eat it, but when they see it all written out, they don't even want to go near making it. :) The 10-year-old's father is eager for her to learn, but I need her to have the sticktoitivity first. When I was that age, I could just pop into the kitchen for the mixing, come back to see it punched down, and come back for the shaping. With the kid not living here, it's a lot harder to arrange the time.

Annie, you are an exceptional mama. I loved my mother but she wouldn't allow myself or my sister in her kitchen. When I begged her for her knowledge on how to make noodles, it was a pinch of this and butter the size of an egg and well, you can guess. Our job was to do the ironing and wash and dry the dishes. The result was my husband knew more about cooking than I did when we married during World War 2. Barb

Around here, dinner times is rather hectic. I work a split shift and the second half starts at 6 p.m. so there are definitely times when I have to get in there and just get it done. I have worked with my 2 oldest some. My 14 year old daughter is pretty good and I can let her bake without supervision. My 17 year old son has no interest but I force him into the kitchen from time to time. These 2 have binders with the plastic sheets in them. Any time they make a recipe, it goes into their binder so they can find the things they have made successfully. The binders can go with them when they go out into the world. My youngest 2 (9 and 11) are beginning to see some more kitchen action, but I know I need to step it up a bit.

One thing I have been trying to work on is working with them according to their personalities. My 17 year old likes crockpot things so we work with some of those but I do not push his boundaries a bit more. I can say that whenever the kids start asking for specific things, that I find it a perfect opportunity for them to learn to cook that thing. My kids will likely know more than I did when they get out on their own.

My Dad was the cook in our house, not that common in the '50s-'60s, but we did not know any different. While he did not really "teach" me to cook, I must have learned from osmosis.

I've always cooked for our family, and now our two boys, 26 and 29, again without teaching, seem to have inherited the same gene... lot's of happy wives ;)

I agree, LindaC. I also think everyone should know how to change a tire, sew on a button and use the washing machine. There could be a time when no one is there to "take care of you", and then a person can at least do basic tasks.

Barb, I always liked having the girls in the kitchen, and now I like having the grandkids there with me. It's just more fun with company. Grandma had me peeling tomatoes to can when I was small enough that I was standing on a chair to reach the sink. I was 7 when she taught me to make my first loaf of bread and about the age of the Monkey Princess when I got my first ribbon at the local County Fair. She also taught me to hang up laundry, sew, embroider, darn socks and "properly" scrub floors, LOL. My brother also can sew, makes better brownies than I can AND can change a tire. (grin) Grandma taught us both, it didn't matter if he was a boy, she told him that women wouldn't always be around to wait on him!

So I baked with my girls and now with my grandkids, and I love it. It's worth every minute of cleaning, all the sprinkles under the counter edges, the clutter on the island. And they're happy to take all the goodies home and save my diet.

Annie

I had the same kind of mother when it comes to cooking. She was not good at sharing the kitchen with a klutz like me and only allowed 2 of us 5 girls to cook all but the most basic things. I had and have a complex about my cooking, but am experimenting more anyway. I wish my mother had been able to cope with our difficult and different personalities in the kitchen. I think she was just too tired and later disabled to do it though.

Everyone else in my home cooks well. We all do Holiday dinners together, and as adults both kids, and our nephews, who live with us, are far and away more confident than I am or was. they can even bake. :)

DH can cook circles around all of us. I'm slow and plodding when it comes to putting a meal together. Even kids can do it 4 times as fast! I still do most of the cooking of the staples and veggies though. Go figure. :")

Yeonassky, I think that right now, food, eating, and cooking have so many other "things" layered onto them right now that is not surprising that one would develop a complex about their cooking. Cooking and eating used to be about survival and that shared survival around the table and now there is ethics, health, etc. surrounding all of it, that it becomes too much. I have a sister who is in constant search of recreating food experiences and it is sad. I made her sweet potato fries and she wanted to know how to get the exact result. The only problem is she asked me months later and I rarely do things the same way twice. Her coleslaw has to be like KFC's, etc. For me, I am irritated with the amount of time I have to spend reading labels, no matter what I pick up (considering I make most from scratch, I pick up few things). I assume that a lot of the cooking shows are not helping to relieve pressure. There have been many times I have just wanted to cry out to people, "can we please just sit at the table and eat together." My favorite people to cook for were my grandparents. There were a few snide comments about all the different things I would try but when they were served the food, they were just happy to eat. Guess it came down to the fact that they remember the Great Depression and knew true poverty and hunger.

I started learning to cook when I was about 6- I remember making scrambled eggs and percolator coffee then, and grilled cheese sandwiches and pancakes. I've just realised that oddly I don't really remember my mother being involved with this at all, and she must have been because my Dad never cooked that I recall. If Mom couldn't cook due to illness or whatever, he would take us to his parent's home or a chain like Bob Evans for a meal. But I digress.

By the time I was 14 I was helping to cook in our country hotel, filling in on the paid cook's days off and cooking with him on busy days. When I finished school and a school friend came to work as a house maid for a summer job before college, I was gobsmacked to find she had no cooking skills at all, as she had one of those ultra capable Moms who did everything in the home- cooked, sewed etc from scratch. I guess she found it easier to do it all herself alone than to try to teach her daughters at the same time. At that time I vowed that if I ever had children, they would leave home at least able to cook.

By the time my DD was 9 she could cook simple meals and made the scones in a tea room I ran. She never really enjoyed cooking when she was younger but she's getting more into it, though she still dislikes baking. Her husband is quite a confident cook so I think that encourages her to try more. When she left home I gave her a handwritten journal with how I make her favourite foods so she can recreate them herself. Occasionally when I visit she will ask for another recipe or two which I write in for her; last time I invented a couple of recipes while we were there (I'm often a make it up as you go along cook) and she asked for me to write them down so she could have a go herself.

We have a bunch of family Christmas cookie recipes my Mom asked me not to pass out of the family but unless DD gets a sudden interest in baking I will so they don't get forgotten (I've told DD this). I'm hoping that perhaps SIL will take an interest once he is living at home full time (his job involves working two weeks on the other side of the country then going home for a week), but he's making plans to move out of that).

My son has learned as much as he wants too. He can make a mean omelette because that is what he wanted to learn. I will teach him whatever he wants to learn to make but the interest just isn't there. I guess he figures I will always be around to make that stuff which brings me to a kinda funny story.

I recently in the past few months got divorced. My ex and I agreed to stay friendly. Every few days I get a text or email from my mother in law or ex on how to make something I used to make for them. I am being stubborn on that and not sharing because the perk of being married to me was getting my recipes. I'm being a tad petty and wont share so he can give to his girlfriend to make what I made for him. Apparently he likes my cooking better than hers lol!

Aprile - I don't blame you for not sharing your recipes. Too bad, so sad.

I'm betting the pestering for recipes will wane over time as everyone readjusts to life post divorce.

I hope so, I feel awful inside being so darn petty, but darn it you can't have your cake and eat it too! Thanksgiving and Christmas was terrible all day both days them wanting to know how I made this or that. Then now it's 2-3 times a week they want something I used to make.

I didn't want the divorce and then to be asked all the time about things I did or how I made this or that kept reminding me I wasn't there which made things hard for me. I was replaced the minute I left and then to know they don't like her cooking and trying to teach her mine just kinda rubbed me the wrong way I guess.

Chin up, Aprile. It is not petty in the least. It is crass on their part to even ask. You think they would get the hint after enough no's. He had his opportunity to learn what he needed and now he has the opportunity to sift through things on the internet to create his own new food culture.

Aprile, I think it would be empowering for you to tell these folks that your recipes stay with you. They are YOUR legacy, not your ex's and not his family's.

These people have to embrace the paradigm shift, and I think you should help them along!

"I'm flattered that you've enjoyed my food, but tempus fugit, alas I'm moving on and so should you".

Perhaps some panties will bunch, but I'd stand my ground and hope they understand and get past it.

It's a bit cruel and unfair to you, and maybe it's time they realized what they're doing, albeit not maliciously.

Sorry, don't mean to hijack. I've been through divorce and some things that remind you of old times can really cut. It takes time to untangle emotionally.

Best of luck to you!

I recently watched a Ted Talk by Jamie Oliver - Teach Every Child About Food that made me think of this thread, and I would suggest everyone take 22-minutes to watch it. He showed how three generations of not knowing how to cook lead to morbid obesity in one family. You won't believe how a classroom of young children can't identify vegetables.

If this video doesn't inspire you to educate children, I don't know what it will take. It makes me glad I've been involved in teaching food, nutrition, and cooking/baking classes through 4-H, Scouts, the Public Library, Extension Office, Schools, Senior Center, Church, and the Food Bank.

http://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_oliver 

Colleen, it's funny how you went to work in a cooking establishment when you were young. My first job was working in a submarine/chicken joint when I was 14, I worked there all through high school and when I got married to my ex we bought a bar/grille, which we ran for years. Amanda went to work for the local pizza joint/bakery when she was 14 and Ashley went to work in the kitchen of a local country inn. Started as a dishwasher, then made salads, then became a server. She was 14 then too.

I guess we all used to go to work at that age...

Annie

I was mostly taught to cook by watching, but Mom did pass a couple recipes on to me. Not that my family cares all that much... she never was the best cook. Too Irish I suppose. My Gran, on the other hand, took her recipes with her to her grave. Dad is still bummed nobody can make her rolls or cinnamon buns.

Regarding working in a restaurant... I suppose I learned more there than I did at home. Especially about prep and food storage. It taught me new methods that my Mom would never attempt. It also taught me to rely less on salt and to use actual seasonings instead such as herbs.

... And I think a stint as a prep kid should be mandatory for high school graduation. Kids here have to have volunteer hours to graduate and while that's great there's no comparison between shelving books at the library and learning how to feed yourself.

Just watched TED talk. Very interesting. Love the message. and the caring of J Oliver. I won't bore you with my struggles with health and obesity. But there is hope. I've lost the excess and am healthy. :)

Thanks for your candid sharing. It's lovely to read your stories, so freely given. So appreciated. :)

I taught my son and stepson when they were teenagers. They continued to come back for more lessons while in college as they discovered cooking was a skill appreciated by the young women in their lives! :-)

Both are married and in their early thirties now... and both do most of the cooking.

My daughter is really into cooking. She works summers as head of kitchen at a camp, supervising staff to feed 200-250 mostly adult guests a day. She does most of the shopping and cooking for her apartment at college. She is a better cook than I am. She makes sushi rolls, beef wellington, fresh pasta, chicken marbella, creme brulee, etc. She and her roommates eat home cooked meals for $150/mo.

My son, well, he likes to thinly slice potatoes and hand fry potato chips. That, and smoothies, are about the extent of his cooking skills. I have two years to teach him some basic subsistence cooking before he goes off to college. But, he might work at the camp this summer, and might get assigned to the kitchen, in which case his sister will have him doing dishes and food prep every day.