Triple he!! no x 3 kids. Isn't this the time we let go and allow the kids to spread their wings already? (a la empty nest and all that)

All four of mine went to college...some longer than others. It never occurred to me to "decorate" their rooms, nor did they ask for help doing so. I got sheets and they got handed down until they wore out.

Middle Ground here, certainly not all out like these days, but we shopped together and I think she and her roommate coordinated. I helped a bit more when she rented a house her junior and senior years. A nice furniture store was going out of business so we got some deals, which combined with handmedowns and a bit of second hand shopping made for a nice looking comfortable place.

We have 5 sons, 1 daughter (the youngest) - all went to various colleges. The only time my husband and I even went near a dorm room, was when our second oldest went to an out of state school where freshmen weren't allowed to have cars on campus (due to space issues.) They had student crews to help with moving in, so even then, we kept our distance.

But they all loved getting boxes of food!

yes and no)) depends what one calls "decorating"

first it's not a room but a part of the room (painted most hideously if even I say so, but her then-roommate was first there and chose and loved the colors..and generally vetoed many things my daughter tried to shyly propose)

second, we didn't shop and didn't buy anything special for the dorms because how dorms are different from every other dwelling except for being dorms? (hers are especially dirty being more a co-op kind..btw it's UCLA. cheaper than the university dorms. they're crazy with their prices. I saw the spaces..14 K they want, for what?)

In short we just took whatever we had in the house-some bedding, a lamp..blah blah.. plus art my DD chose to take (mostly her own creations). She chose whatever bedding and throw pillows she wanted from the ones she had in her room in our place (and she wisely chose the cheapest and simplest)

the furniture was already there-a bed, an awful desk of the kind that serves to hold clutter, and her half of a very decent IKEA armoire

so as I'm very fast and tidy(I have just a few good qualities so I repeat them to folks time to time lol or else they'll forget)) and my DD is a wonderful girl but wouldn't unpack until now..we both just put everything very quickly on its place (clothes here, towels here, books, there, you know), and hung the pics she brought in kind of a small gallery (these are were small-ish and lightweight so took 2 min). Ta-dam-livable and cozy.

The roommate didn't arrive yet so it didn't feel like we're hovering over her space.

(and then I cried in the car on the way home but that's OT)

Since then she and her roommate drew lots of elaborate designs on the inner side of the door that is chalk painted. They change it as they please.

And then this year the old roommate graduated and left, so my DD wanted to repaint during the summer but the manager suddenly decided -no more painting. So the walls stayed Barney Purple plus Superman Blue:)

She had curtains she chose from our home(we had several spare ones) and wanted to hang them, but her new roommate wanted to choose curtains too, and as my DD wanted to make her feel more comfortable being new and all, they both went to Target nearby, and the roommate chose the curtains. Proud of my DD. Mildly dislike the curtains:) (I saw them once for a moment-we were in LA so brought her some food)

I don't think I killed some creativity or something since my DD is much more creative than me(but no patience whatsoever). I just helped to make it livable in twenty min. And checked everything has its place.

Everyone is different. I packed myself since age 6 or 7, for a month in summer camp and my Mom never checked on me. My daughter, I still ask her-when she comes for a weekend and then heads back to university: "Did you take this? did you take that?" and good that I do..she's frightfully forgetful

She became much more mature of course. In every sense.

But she needs reminders

She doesn't need reminders only when it's about her passion. and her passion is, luckily, what she studies.

My son, he's like me..concentrated and does stuff right away. For him and me, to wait is a burden..we'd rather be done with a task. So we get to it straight away. Not because we're so cool but because otherwise it's highly unpleasant feeling. That's just a temperamental thing.

So he-he'd unpack himself:) And am not going to buy anything extra either. (unless some empty space-from what I read here I understand some dorms come completely unfurnished?) Since he's very different from his sister.

When I went to dorms mysef when 18-I went alone, also with some bedding from home etc

But I could take a bus, you know. And I had one bag. and two pairs of jeans. I had minimum stuff. It was totally different life.

(but dorms themselves were much smarter..they were plain, but desk, you could study there..shelves, you could put books there...not some strange hodge podge of whatever. We also had a sink in the room. Showers though-these were for the whole floor. Kitchen with fridges too. And of course we didn't have phones in rooms, no landlines..we'd go call parents once a week from some public phone)

and here, there is no decent public transportation, no buses. And my daughter, besides bedding, food, etc, took pretty huge amount of clothes imo. I was not pleased-why so much stuff?

Then other girls (that btw complimented her room a lot) said later " how do you manage to dress so well when you have so few clothes?" Which left me a bit surprised -if what she has is called a few, then what's considered a lot? Still I thought it's a nice compliment. But my DH, he's a skeptic, and said girls can be snakes:)

I don't think of myself as a helicopter parent at all. I'm anxious as hell, that's true. By nature. I'm also too self indulgent to be a real helicopter parent. And I can't do this and can't do that..So my kids, they help a lot. They're fine already. Not worried about them spreading their wings. They're very self driven in studies, and are very social. Worried about them being healthy, happy, living in a world without wars..actually I'm ready for some grandchildren lol

(but my kids don't know that. So don't tell them)))

That sounds like the ultimate helicopter parent activity. As mentioned things are very different now than they were "back in the day".

April, I so get that being ready for grands comment. I am not quite there yet- but I can so see it on the horizon.

Here's a Washington Post article on moms decorating (mostly) daughters' dorm rooms.

well, its good to know that their parents will be standing by to help arrange their job interviews. i expect they will have to wait out in the hall tho, during the interview. that'll be tough.

So I don't know how that sounds now. That sounds like TMI for sure:)

So I might delete later this messy post, for which I apologize in advance.

..So I hold to my promise and here was a long long post that I kinda erased since most of it was not about me only..I believe whoever wanted to follow the conversation in full did that already.

Thank you for your kindness and support and understanding..and even reading if you got that far:) Rita I wanted to say ...you taught me a few very important things along the way, and I want you to know that it took me some time to hear them yesterday..but they resonate with me a lot and I continue to think about your wonderful post all the time, I'm there now..

and thank you penny...

the words don't come to me easy right now. I just realized it'd be easier just to leave the post, you know:) but one needs to do what one needs to do.

I enjoyed all the shared stories on this thread.

Tldr - No. Lol.

so that's great jn-if nobody reads that even better lol

i'm not sharing such things IRL except with very trusted friends and family, That's this writing format that throws me off. Which each time rises a big question to myself whether I should write at all. Because sooner or later I'll share something I'm silent about.

April, it's not often I am at a loss for words, you know that ;-) But what you bothered to write in response to people mindlessly name calling is so lovely and moving that I am trying very hard to find the right response.

You are kind and generous with your online friends- strangers. Of course you are generous and kind and thoughtful with your family. Your daughter is so fortunate that you were able to help her become the person she was intended to be. And of course, our children help us become the people we were intended to be as well- they stretch us and mold us in their own special ways, opening our eyes and our hearts to dimensions we didn't know existed.

I am pretty sure the helicopter parenting dig stung others on this thread as well- it stung me and I thought to reply- but to what ends? No matter the reply, the answer will be the same. It's a cheap shot at a whole generation of parents.

I don't think much of buying my son bed linens and a desk lamp and helping him unpack. His entire frosh floor at a top 5 university was crawling with families all doing the same thing- so we are all helicopter parents who have children at one of the best universities anywhere- children who can travel the world on their own- children who conduct research and write papers with college professor since they were in high school- and yet- we are helicopter parents- somehow handicapping our children. Pfft. As the youngsters say, haters gonna hate.

I am very happy for your daughter. What a gift to have a field of study that fills you with enthusiasm and allows you to contribute your talents and energy.

It's funny how such a simple, trivial sounding question, turned into a discussion of what being a parent means to us.

April, here is my one pro-tip about dealing with rude people. Ignore them. Really. You can't out-rude them. It's not in your nature- and they have so much practice. You can't appeal to their reason- they don't have any. So just ignore them and focus on the rest of us who appreciate your thoughtful and generous posts.

Thank you Rita you're too kind as you always are

I don't even know why it hit the button with me..I'm quite a strict Mom, I'm not hovering(since I hate hovering myself), kids share with us because they want to, which makes me quite happy. I do firmly believe I have a responsibility of bringing up people that would be their best version possible.

I was brought up in other country with very different standards in many things (much stricter so it seems), so some of them I dismiss and dislike, but some, I decide to take. I spent my youth in yet another country-again, different life there too. Inevitably it all shapes me, and I don't even feel close to the concept of helicopter parenting..I've yet to understand it completely. Many things can be said about me; this is not one of them.

I'm not offended-others are not supposed to know my life and my troubles since everyone has his own bunch. I'm upset with myself since I became too emotional on what started like a very beautiful day, and shared too much.

I also can't always engage with myself in writing-deleting, writing--deleting:)

" our children help us become the people we were intended to be as well- they stretch us and mold us in their own special ways, opening our eyes and our hearts to dimensions we didn't know existed."-I couldn't agree with it more.

I do ignore rude people as a rule but nobody here was really rude..yet? LOL

maybe a bit insensitive

well I come with huge experience of Russian speaking forums:) it's nice here..:)

This question made me smile. All 3 of our kids went to Ohio State. When they were freshmen, only 1 was in a dorm room, shared with 3 others, that had air. The other 2 had 2-person dorm rooms in old dorm buildings on south campus; the rooms were maybe 9 x 12; beds had to be lofted or bunked to have room for desks. Tiny closets; built in drawers that held very little. No air. We did purchase carpet from the carpet seller on the street corner! And bought a window fan. So no, they picked their own bedding & a desk lamp but there wasn't room for anything else. But they sure had fun! Go Buckeyes! Love everything about the university; love the band. love the sports teams; We are all big fans.

Everyone of us as parents knows our own children the best. Some kids are fiercely independent and are thrilled to be able to tackle the task of decorating (or not decorating) their college living space themselves. Some kids want a decent looking space, but don't have the time or inclination to devote to it. They are more than happy to delegate the whole process to mom...it's just not a high priority for this kind of kid. And some kids LOVE decor and LOVE shopping with their parent and enjoy the whole process (such lucky moms!)

None of these reactions to the "dorm decorating process" are right or wrong...they are just different bc kids are different! My oldest (boy) will be in college next year. He will care VERY little about how his room looks (frankly, I am actually a bit worried about how dirty and unsanitary it will probably be...he is really really messy) so I imagine he will just tell me to order the extra long sheets. If I suggest wall decor, I imagine he will look at me oddly. So I won't. I just hope his roommate doesn't mind messy!

Honestly, I would be beside myself if dd wanted me to do a gorgeous fancy room w/monograms and such when she goes in 4 years. Alas...she is the first type & will decorate with all kind of weird tapestries and funky bedspreads. :) We currently don't share the same taste, but I keep hoping she will circle back! Anyway...no one should be made to feel wrong for how they handled this! I imagine every child discussed on this thread thought their parents did it just right! And that's all that matters! :)

yes nini. I agree..also, years of handling my own parents(lol) and mysef as a parent and my spouses(lol again) and other parents that I met -and I met a lot- taught me that's an extremely sensitive topic. Parenting. So I usually listen, Unless I'm asked directly to provide some insight. Because on even such seemingly safe place as a decorating forum ..well you all can finish this sentence just fine:)

I'm very grateful to Rita.. and to you, more than I can express at the moment.

and I probably will delete that long post about my DD..mostly because it's about her not me.. so yes, TMI.

Some decades ago :-), my freshman roommate and I coordinate our bedding (via a phone call)

My son picked bedding out of a catalog, I bought him some useful stuff like a toiletry bucket and a first aid kit, and he took some towels from home. After we moved him into the dorm, we bought some more stuff (think hanging shelves for the closet). We might have gotten him a rug for in front of the bed. I don't think I was even involved when he moved into a house his sophomore year (where he stayed for 3 years). He did, however, scan and email the lease to me for comments before he signed it.

My daughter and I shopped together for her linens (after she consulted colors with her roommate). After they moved in, she and her roommate decided they wanted to go to Ikea, so I was involved in that, because neither had a car and I bought them lunch :-). I weighed in on a few things--I think my suggestions were sometimes taken and sometimes ignored, which is what you'd expect.

When DD transferred and needed different stuff in that dorm, we shopped together again--because we have fun together--but all the decisions were hers. She is graduated now, but earlier this week she went clothing shopping with me (because she has great taste) and acted as my personal shopper.

I think kids are different and relationships are different. My son and I are close, but he doesn't really decorate. My daughter and I are close, and decorating and clothing and stuff is something we like doing together.

It's great having adult kids, by the way, but I miss those young ones!

Where I am from I have a friend who transform boring dorm rooms into something FABULOUS. Most of the time the dorm items are able to be reused in the apartments after freshman year.

http://www.thisisinsider.com/amazing-dorm-room-makeovers-before-and-after-photos-2017-9

I have two older sons who did not care about their dorm rooms at all. I bought them XL twin bedding and they hardly gave me any input. OTH, my daughter and I had fun looking online for her bedding and picking up the rug, curtains, etc at World Market and Target. She is a very self driven student/person who has always been the most independent of our three kids. She studied and travelled throughout Europe last year and is very comfortable in the world. I am happy to be appropriately involved in her life!

DS went to Rice (shout out to Lars) graduating in 2008. We live in NH, so Houston wasn't somewhere we could pop in to visit. We arrived a few days before his freshman year and O-Week and did some shopping at BB&B and Home Depot picking up bedding and a rug. Those lasted all 4 years. Over the summer he would rent a storage unit to store his ever-growing collection of t-shirts and books so these didn't need to be shipped back and forth. I think his junior year we went down in August and bought an IKEA sofa. For all I know, it's still in Will Rice College.

I'll never forget meeting a Mom during Parents Weekend Freshman year who said she stayed, and attended, O-Week with her son. OMG. I'm sure that kid never lived that one down.

Daughter went to Cornell, graduated in ‘05. We saw some of their closet sized dorm rooms with plumbing covered ceilings and I was just glad I wasn’t paying for that, I’d have pitched a you know what!

No kids here, so no idea if I would decorate their dorm.

As for myself, I think my parents let me buy a new set of sheets and duvet. I picked something in black and gray with calla lilies. I went to college in the late 80s, so I put the below poster up on the cinderblock walls. I thought it was pretty snazzy at the time.

No, didn't decorate. Just wrote checks.

Two boys here. Didn't decorate, but helped purchase and get some of the things into the room. Think I helped them make sure they found their sheets and got the bed made before they took off to some orientation thing and we or I left. They have both gotten some help packing things to move out - especially their kitchen stuff. That's something I learned from my mom.

April you have more class in your pinky finger than a lot of folks have in their entire bodies...

(I tried to open up here once....never again. I admire those who do, though)

ETA: feeling inadequate after seeing those beautiful photos above! I got lots of snacks and toiletries and plastic containers if that can be considered decor... :)

Let's say it can...

DD went to Cornell in 1991-95. I took her as freshmen could not have cars - how else would she have gotten there? I still remember The Slope packed with my Suburbans than I've ever seen anywhere at a single time - perfect for hauling stuff to college!

Yes, lots of trips to local stores to get a bookcase, a lamp, a fan etc. I helped her unpack and took the boxes back with me - no room to store them. At Cornell, parents are expected to stay for a day or two during freshman orientation. I think this is still the case.

I'll never forget as I was getting ready to leave, we were in her room with a new friend when a boy came by and said his parents had just left and his mom had bought him some sort of "bed in a bag" and he didn't know what to do with it and could the girls, perhaps, help him. They laughed hysterically before informing him that if he was smart enough to get into an Ivy, they bet he could figure out how to get sheets on his bed. When I walked by his room, he was stilling on the bed staring at that bag. Poor guy - no one ever taught him any self-sufficiency at home.

Another funny story - mother took DD to a highly competitive university. Mother was getting ready to leave and went to use the co-ed bathroom. In the shower right next to her stall, a couple were having sex - rather loud sex. She said she was very grateful her husband had not accompanied her as he would have packed up her daughter and taken her home again immediately.

No one in college yet, but my DD is at boarding school. Her first year she and the roommate met for lunch and designed their room together. This year she asked for and got a single. She has bought a few things, but her faves are the collapsible, fabric storage cubes for under the bed that double as seats. Everything is pretty simple, white with navy tassels, a few hot pink things, curtains from Target, pompom tiebacks from Etsy. The rooms themselves have some charm, dating as they do from the 1930s or so.

The photos of the three dorms rooms above done by a decorator are, if I may say so, an abomination! Not because they are not pretty, but because they are totally unworkable. These rooms are small, and they are totally overtaken by stuff! In pillows alone, it is as if two more people were in the room. You cannot even sit on one of those sofas. Dorms rooms are, more often than not, messy, and those rooms messy would be very unsettling. The over-decorated rooms are too much of a responsibility to keep looking like that, too distracting. Really a bad idea IMHO. They make me feel claustrophobic just looking at them.

Thinking back, after we unpacked my oldest, we make the obligatory trip for the odds and ends. I had to laugh. $500 for the little extras!

The best thing about life is we all can have different taste and opinions about how to decorate/design as we please. Things may be an "abomination" to your perspective but deign is personal and oh so different regionally and nationally.

Mtn, aside from the cleanliness and tidiness factors, which are huge for me too, there is a conspicuous lack of books and study space showcased. Form, I would like to introduce you to function. I am told the former should follow the latter.

But yes, of course, to each her own.

I’m wondering about two things. 1. at least back in my day, dorms came with furniture. Mostly plain brown furniture which I don’t see in evidence in the highly decorated dorms. We weren’t allowed to get rid of it and you didn’t have the option not to take it. There was no where on campus you could store it. But there were beds, desks, chairs, dressers and bookcases already in my dorm room. Do the parents take the pre existing stuff home, store it, and drive it back at the end of the year. 2. Some of these beds seem very high up. Are they lifted for storage underneath?

oh, and a third thing. Who pays for all of this? College is so expensive already. I hope kids aren’t tapping out student loans to buy juju hats and mongolian lamb pillows.

Dover, way way too many clutter pillows for me! I don't see any study desk or spots for text books, either. I'm glad i kept my dorm rooms simple. Yes, each to their own, but I'd imagine if one is in college to learn, some space set aside for that would help matters along.

Things may be an "abomination" to your perspective but deign is personal and oh so different regionally and nationally.

As I think i mentioned, from an aesthetic perspective, it is not that they are not pretty (in fact they are very lovely). I think this decorator did a great job in that sense.. the pale pink and grey being particularly lovely and my fave. If they were not dorm rooms, but maybe ship cabins for 3 day cruises to nowhere, maybe they would make more sense to me.

Looking up "abomination", I see this definition which captures what i was trying to convey: something that is outrageously or offensively wrong.

Sofas you cannot sit down on because they are so over-pillowed.

Beds you cannot sleep in. Many of us have a profusion of decor pillows on our bed (though the look is waning) and the age old question has been; where do they go when you sleep? There is no place for them to put them. Even if they found a place; storage is at a premium ...you cannot waste it on a zillion pillows. Frankly, you can't waste space on most of the decor this designer has draped these rooms in.

The key to keeping a small place neat is to have adequate storage. It would be quite a feat to keep those rooms neat with no extra space for anything to go! Not only that, it ignores that they all have some things, quite a few things usually, that are none too pretty.

Printers (which need ventilation), and ditto fridges, m/ws. How about LAX sticks, or Oboes? Laundry baskets, charging stations?

Then, we have a lucite ghost chair as a desk chair. C'mon. For hours and hours of studying? Btw, i notice that in these room makeovers, the desk(s) are usually, conveniently not shown. That is because they are nearly impossible to disguise/makeover. The camera can pretend they aren't there, but what do these rooms really look like, in 360? bet they have something pretty jarring, like those awful desks

Or the surfaces taken over by busts and glass bottles ... really?

None of the bedside lamps are for reading; they are for ambient light. Kids usually want goose neck clip ons.

And another poster makes a fine point; how is it even possible, given that you usually cannot take the furniture you are given, out.? Where are the standard issue desks, chairs, chests?

Nope. Spread your wings, kiddo. Let me know what you need from me.

if you let your children decide what color to paint their bedroom when they are 5, even if you pick out 5 colors they can choose from, it helps them turn into 18 year olds who can decide on bedding, and who with another 18 year old how to best arrange their furniture in a very small room with limited possibilities. multiple times. and then when they get an apartment they'll know what they are doing and if fortunate enough to buy a house they'll be confident pros.

and if you have a mother/child bonding thing over deciding together thats great, but they do need to be the decider.

OT about furniture. DH helped my youngest furnish her first off-campus apartment. There was a space in the kitchen and they bought a cabinet that fit there perfectly.

We left it, as we thought it was a great addition to the kitchen and the next student could get the benefit of all the extra storage. The managing company charged us for leaving it!

I really wanted my DD to knock on that door mid-semester to see if they actually removed that cabinet. But, rules are rules.

Good point about the dorm furniture, something I didn't think about looking at these over-decorated rooms.

When oldest was touring dorm rooms, one suite had a kitchenette displayed with placemats and matching napkins! As if this was a typical dorm set up.

Ah, yes, the BB&B dedicated-to-tours rooms! They are okay as long as they are actual rooms so you can ignore the decor (just as you ignore the decor of actual student rooms on a tour) and what you really need to know is dimensions, windows, lighting, storage, outlets. But we saw one room that was actually a space set up in the basement of a dorm, with walls and doors and a fake window, and that was the BB&B tour dorm room.

At DS' current college, our admitted-student tour was great, we saw a couple of different buildings and a few rooms in each were available, with the students there to answer questions. The girls' rooms were mostly decorated, with lights and decor and stuff; the guys' rooms were, well, guys' rooms.

@dover p - I totally intend to do a room like that for my daughters and they are looking forward to it.

I flew cross-country with my freshman son this year and decorated his room, respecting his wishes. It was well below my fab ideas of what could have been! His school colors are red and white and considering potential upkeep, I bought a gray quilt set and towels from Ikea and added one red accent pillow and a comfortable red cable knit throw. Just a few red useful items for the desk. I printed out a batch of family photos and bought some simple frames. He chose what to frame -- girlfriend and group shot with grandma. I told him I wanted to make up the bed this one time as a mama rite of passage. I was gone before the other two roommates arrived days later.

I was thinking about this further and wondered what would happen if both roommates' moms wanted to decorate and their kids rooms and had entirely different plans for the room decor. What kind of decorating mom feud might ensue.... Or as in the above case you do your decorating and are gone before the other mom comes and redecorates days later.

3katz: I do believe you just created the next reality show hit! :D

DORM WARS

Not dorms, but my daughter did the college program at Disney (they have specific 2/room apartments that you get assigned to) We flew with my daughter and rented a car to get necessities for her. After this shopping trip, we just brought the stuff in...and asked her if she wanted help. She didn't which I saw as a good thing. Her roommate arrived with mom who had rented a trailer full of her stuff. Her mom completely took over, to the extent of hanging her clothes up and didn't let her daughter do anything...

I felt really bad for this girl. Her mom was more than overbearing.

P.S my daughter had the best time there...

When I went to college, I actually bought a two bedroom flat that my boyfriend, my dad and I painted and cleaned. Dad and his pals have been working with wood most of their lives, so I designed the furniture and they made it for me. It was a joint effort, but, to answer your question, all the decisions were mine. All the subsequent shopping for curtains, carpets and all those little things that make a home was mine. I guess it's important to let a young person take responsibility for the way they live, it prepares them for the real life. What is maybe better to do, while you have your children still living with you, is teach them to 'survive' on their own, to clean, shop, cook, choose clothes and wall colours and find their style. I helped my parents put wallpaper when I was ten and I learned to run the family business when I was 13. Wouldn't have it any other way.

Oh, good grief! Anything can be taken out of context and to the worst degree! I’ve purposely avoided this thread after I initially posted, as some posters made it sound like any parent who helped decorate this kid’s dorm room was crushing that child’s own creativity “Mommy-Dearest-like”. In retrospect, I’m sure there are parents like that. And, yes, some of those initially featured pics of rooms are so incredibly unpractical. BUT, there are so many more, like us, where daughters have grown up learning from mothers who are very good at decorating, and they are absorbing and enjoying it, too. They have their own likes and dislikes, which are encouraged and respected. BUT, they still need and want help with storage issues in those minuscule shared dorm rooms, lighting ideas, and a lot of other ideas to consider. It irritates the heck out out of me that some immediately paint the worst scenario when someone (Me) says, yes I did help my daughter decorate her dorm room. No, it was not some impractical designer room. No, it did not make her friends there hate her or her room. But, yes, it was overseen by DD and her roommate with the colors and art they wanted and chose. We mothers did, though, know what and where to find the storage and lighting that would facilitate the very best use of that minimal space. And, we did it at our daughters’ and with our daughters’ blessings.

In closing, there are probably as many normal, happy mom-daughter collaborations as there are non/collaborations. Maybe I’m in the minority, having had a great, fun relationship with my own daughter her entire life. I consider it a blessing, but one that takes work. My own daughter has learned and absorbed so much interior design creativity from me over the years. She could easily make it her career if she chose. And, we love trading ideas still. But, even at age five, I allowed her to make the final design decisions with her own personal spaces. Not all decorator mothers are “Mommy Dearest monsters”.

Yes for the girls, no for the boy. But not as elaborate as the photo. The girls were into it all and it was their design and likes. My son could care less.

The comment about allowing a child to choose paint for their bedroom..and they will end up adults who can decorate rang a bell for me. Even my son had a vision and went about making art for his spaces. In somethings I found to be included meant willing to tag along and open the check book. The next THING will be weddings and that is how I will face this too. I recently went to a nieces wedding. Mom took over most decisions, mom recreated her own wedding color wise etc. Again as I have stated in other threads on parenting type issues..I remember ACUTELY being that age and doing MY OWN THING, so could I not let mine do theirs?

I dont have kids in college yet I'm 29. I will say it's time to cut the cord. Decorating their dorm room is a bit much but gyrating many parents do it with pottery barn dorm being out there.