I'm not well versed on this topic but I do know there are colleges for students who struggle with school. They tend to be smaller colleges with small classes and more one on one help. That might be an option for your son. His high school guidance department should be able to recommend colleges.

I think most technical schools, with perhaps the exception of computer schools, do focus on building trade related fields like heating/air conditioning, electrician, etc.

The community college your son attended should have a career center where he can take some career aptitude tests and interest inventories....something might jump out at him as a result of taking these tests.

I think both his high school and community college are good places to start. They will also have information on technical schools in your area.

Why doesn't he start a business fixing and building things? He could begin by posting ads on craigslist or in the merchandiser or other local places, and doing it part time when he's not working his regular job. and hopefully it would grow into something w/ enough clients he could do it full time? We found a wonderful guy to do our computer repairs off craigslist who has his own business. If he doesn't know how to do that well enough yet, maybe he could contact some people who do and see if he could work a few hours a week w/ them as an assistant/ apprenticeship sort of thing?

My son is similar. He left college after 3 semesters and had a few part time jobs(concurrently). He came with my preschool class on a field trip to the fire station and a lightbulb went on. He attended the fire academy training while working with a volunteer fire department to gain experience. He was hired about 6 months ago in our town as a full time firefighter (500 applicants for 3 positions!). In this job, he works 24 hour shifts and has 4 days off at a time to pursue his other passion. He is a crossfit coach and still puts in some hours at his previous part time job. It's not a high paying career, but if he plans well and continues to put in the time on his other jobs he can support himself. He is currently pursuing paramedic training. Who knows where that may lead...he's only 22, he's got time. Your son may need a little time to figure things out too. The male brain matures late! Best wishes!

I'd consider suggesting looking into enlistment in the Air Force. Our families have a lot of service experience.

Dh, who spent 13 years in the Marine Corps and started out enlisted, thinks it's often a good fit for young people who haven't figure out a direction. (Which pretty much describes him--he enlisted after two years of college because he realized professional photography wasn't going to pan out and that he didn't know what else to do. He ended up with a college degree and a law degree, largely financed by the Marine Corps.)

Dh almost always suggests Air Force because he believes the Air Force treats it's people well and offers opportunities for technical training--also the Air Force tends to send it's officers to fight (pilots) in contrast to the other services.

Would he be at all interested in looking at going into military service for a few years? I know it doesn't sound great to a lot of people, but there is at least training he could get into that could prepare him for something later. And not all go overseas to the Middle East either. Plus at the end of his mandatory tour he could go into the active reserve and finish out a 20-year career as a reservist and have a built-in retirement and benefits. The first-responder/paramedic training is also a good idea.

You are not alone in this as you can see. Here is the perfect place to discuss this and we have many times! I would recommend investing in a career/life coach. I agree with Joanie to get a list of all the technical and vocational schools. He needs a plan

The fact that he is currently employed is a plus.

My oldest went to a top university. She dropped out not once but twice. When she came home the second time we had to figure out what to do. Since course work was not the issue (she is an A student with out much effort) it was finding the direction. She always liked fashion, so she got a job in the industry. I know many will disagree here, but not getting a degree was not an option in my daughter's case. At the very least, college is a good experience to open yourself up to ideas that you would not other wise know about. But, of course, it is not for everyone.

Because of what we spent on the out of state college, her next option was an instate school. She chose Fashion Institute of Technology. But, here's where it gets interesting. She took a class in textile development and loved it.. She graduated with a BS in Textile Development and Management. And, there are jobs in this field.

As I sat at her graduation, I saw that FIT was not just about fashion. There are small niches of expertise that you just don't know about unless you do your research.

The sciences also have lots of tech jobs.

I'm a huge fan of two-year colleges and their blend of traditional academics and worforce-specific programs. If the first shot was a fail, it's worth looking again to try to find a better match.

Another idea would be to apply to work at a National Park as they have a huge range of jobs, often provide housing, and are fun for 20-somethings. These are mostly summer jobs.

Along those same lines, a winter at a ski resort is a really fun job. Lots of things need fixing, the atmosphere is fun, but disciplined (sort of), and he'll be surrounded by people who enjoy nature and natural science. (Part of my winter gig is training new-hire ski instructors, so I'm very familiar with his dilemma and demographic.)

Last suggestion - US Forest Service firefighting crew. Perhaps as a mechanic rather than a front-lines guy. Actually there are all kinds of Forest Service jobs - worth a look to see what kinds of things they are looking for.

Good luck!

My first thought was the military, as well. They actually administer a very comprehensive test to all applicants that helps to show them many fields that they might excel in . . . and then they train you for free in the area of your choosing ("of choosing" within reason. You, of course, can't choose to go to pilot school if you don't have what they feel it takes). You gain good experience in the field that you can put to good use if/when you leave the military. Although my son was in the Army and proud of it, your son may find that the Air Force, Coast Guard, Marines or Navy may be a better fit for him.

Any interest in cars? All the makes run schools to become 'certified xx mechanics' ; the BMW and other high end makers programs are very competitive and offer job placement at graduation- salaries are great too!

Cooking school!!! It leads people in some many different areas from management to creative fields. It is also tangible. You make something everytime. If I had to do all over again, I would go to cooking school. I cooked chemicals instead in college. Not as much fun!

How about woodworking work shops? Environmental Design like passivehaus design? Electronics workshops to learn how to build circuits and raspberry Pi based systems? Photography schools and classes? What makes him happy? Gardening and landscape design? How about classes in subjects like knife making? The world is his oyster. Take a few 6week classes and see what floats his boat. I know I like to see results from the things I do quickly so these types of careers would suit me. What does your son like?

I know that I am spending your money as I type this but it can take a while for people to find their space in the world. It is a great feeling to help someone find themselves.

Good luck!

Google Career Aptitude Tests. Maybe a place to start is to have him take some tests to see if his interests can be narrowed down. That might help decide on a direction.

I’m another one who is suggesting the US Air Force. My son was your son 25 years ago. Fiercely independent, yet never liked school or did particularly well. He married young, and decided that the military would provide him with the training and education he needed, plus offer him the security and benefits for his family that he never would have received in the civilian sector. He had one year of community college and was floundering. Happy to say that he is retiring this year, with full pension and benefits, at only 43 years of age! He has accrued a great income in aviation as a loadmaster/instructor and been offered positions with income potential that far exceeds his highest expectations. Granted, he was in a position that took him to Iraq and Afghanistan on seven different tours of duty, yet this was by his choice because of the career path he chose. He was originally in military security, yet transferred and trained for an aviation career instead.

My brother was a bit rudderless at that age and dropped out of college. He worked a series of oddball jobs (like chimney sweep) before finding his niche as a bike mechanic (he was a gung-ho mountain biker). He worked for a series of bike shops before landing his current job at REI, where he repairs bikes in the summer and tunes skis in the winter.

Any type of repairs--auto, bikes, appliances--might be a good option for him.

I appreciate all the replies and support. I want to reply to each of you but it might make more sense to give additional info.

I don't think he really wants to go to college. My younger son is starting to apply to universities and I think this older one is now cringing at the thought that his little brother is moving away while he stays at home stacking produce for 40 hours a week. But the schools here push push push. As HS freshmen, they pick an academy that guides them to a college major. There are vo-tech classes at a separate facility, but what's really pushed is the engineering track for those good at math along with competitive internships. These particular counselors are useless.

I am also a fan of the two-year colleges. When I was young, they seemed to be for kids who couldn't get into a "real" school but they now seem fantastic, especially considering the price. More and good students are using them to save money especially with the guaranteed admissions programs to 4-year universities. Unfortunately, I see LOTS of kids fooling around at our local 2-year college just to pass the time while their parents cling to the thought that their child is in college so everything must be OK.

He has no interest in the military. Few kids around here choose that path and we don't even run across many members. My father, a WWII vet, has always vehemently discouraged it. Yet my Dad acknowledges the fact that he was aimlesss after HS and his time in the army gave him a chance to mature so that he could focus on college afterwards.

He needs a lightbulb moment. He loves the outdoors so the Forest Service or National Parks would be something to research. He is an avid fisherman and has worked on projects with our state (MD) department of natural resources. He also loves cars and spends his time and money modifying his truck and helping friends with repairs. Although he has several friends starting in that industry, he hasn't made a move in that direction.

But as Beagles mentioned - he would be best on his own in his own business. I think we should save his college funds for that. But I am willing to finance a trip / experience away where he could gain some life experience and we could get a break from each other.

Adding: to say that riosamba understands my fears and to tell homepro that he is really interested in aquaponics.

Maybe look into gap year programs. My youngest considered ESL after college but we didn't find the right program for her. But, she had two friends who did it. With some of the programs, you are on your own to find housing etc. Other give you more local support.

There are many different organizations that offer different types of programs.

I too sort of floundered at that age. I didn't find my career path until I was 25. There are still apprenticeships out there so that's a possibility. However he has to choose a path in order to pick an apprenticeship, technical school, etc. Perhaps he would be willing to take a single course in different areas of interest to see how he likes it. I did that. Took courses at a community college in areas I was interested in until I thought "This is it." He could also do volunteer work in different areas rather than attend classes. He needs a bunch of different experiences - while he is doing his boring, pay the bills job - that will lead him to that lightbulb moment.

In the end it is he who has to find the right thing and pursue it. Has he not even hinted at anything he would really like to do?

I worked at an air force base for 10 years. Fiercely independent and oppositional enlisted had a very difficult time. Not sure how recruitment is going at this time with severe personnel cuts.

How about fishing guide? Avid fisherman, loves the outdoors and independent seem like a possible fit there. Dh supplemented his enlisted pay working as a fly fishing guide for a time.

If he's interested in aquaponics he may want to check out ag programs at universities (working not necessarily attending) or greenhouse manufacturers. There is a big greenhouse manufacturer by us in Iowa that actually sells their fish to local restaurants. We toured their facility, and it was very interesting.

Also some forestry jobs may fit, but if he is very independent a government job may not be for him. Ask me how I know. ; )

If he is mechanical, aquaponics would be great. There is a local aquaponics lettuce farm which looks small but makes a lot of money selling local lettuce (and greens, tomatoes, squash blossoms, etc) at farmers markets but mostly to restaurants. You need mechanical skills to run the systems. The family that owns the farm, she is the business person while he is the mechanical and their kids help out managing and harvesting. It is clearly a lot of work from when I visited there as part of a tour. Honestly, I would seriously consider this myself as a second career but we have no mechanical skills.

Seriously, in farming and farmers markets, around here there is huge demand for local produce and too few farmers to produce it. Of course, other things can be grown with aquaponics, but until that is not a crime federally, lettuce is probably the way to go.

As a faculty member, your son does not sound like someone who would be happy in college at all.

Wanted to mention the Occupational Outlook Handbook which gives ideas about the outlook for demand for the position, how much it pays, and what the work consists of. It also talks about what kind of training or background is needed to become an "X". I know it's hard to know how to decide "what you want to be" when you grow up if you've had absolutely no exposure to what an "X" actually does for a living. This book will help give some ideas...

He sounds just like my nephew. He began working for the railroad at 19 . The jobs start on the line, outdoors, mechanical aptitude needed. He's 23 now and owns his own home. I think he made around $85000 last year, with overtime.and, the job comes with a pension, to boot--a rarity today. Another lucrative field is plumbing, though getting in is tough.

I've been a college instructor for 12 years, three of which I spent at a community college. There are community colleges and then there are community colleges. The quality varies widely. They can help turn a kid on to something, but not always. I too floundered, at a huge university. But I did find my passion. I found it when I took a field course in biology to satisfy my general science requirement. But it did a whole lot more than that for me. My suggestion is for your son to just get out and experience things in the world he thinks he might like to do, through volunteering or interning. Some good suggestions here. I've worked with National Park interns, also the Student Conservation Corps. Many non-profits offer service learning workshops. Also many "institutes" offer hands on seminars and workshops. I'm going to a seed saving workshop next weekend sponsored by our local land conservancy, for example. A local sustainability institute offers classes on blacksmithing, etc., etc. My friend's daughter is doing a year's apprenticeship on an organic farm . . . and the list goes on. I have a student who did terribly his first years of college, dropped out and delivered for a drugstore for many years, and got into gardening and attended a community gardening workshop sponsored by the local sustainability forum. He got hooked into community gardening, was one of the founding members of the community college's community garden, got a part-time job out of it, and managed to stick it out through all the tough science courses to get his degree in biology. He was older and wiser by the time he went back to community college. We called them OWLs, Older, Wiser Learners. His passion gave him the renewed discipline to get through the stuff he didn't like, because he now saw where it would get him and also he developed good work skills and also had a part time job doing hands on what he loved and got support from a peer group. He is now interning at a lab out in UC Santa Cruz and has been an absolute star at the University and I expect great things from him. He and his wife took a summer off to intern at three farm businesses on their way out west to University. If I had to do my career training again, I would do it that way.

Those are just examples from my natural science background. I know folks who have volunteered with kids and became teachers, or worked as EMT's and got into medicine, or worked for the Humane Society and became vet techs, or volunteered with the local Red Cross and got into international aide work, etc., etc. Get him the book "Wishcraft" by Barbra Sher. LOTS of good techniques in there for finding your passion and turning an idea into action.

Maryland has an Agriculture extension course. Your son should investigate it. I think he knows what he wants to do! There are quite a few fisheries on the Eastern Shore and tons of organic and biodynamic farms in Maryland.

For starters, he's only 19. He needs to know that not having a direction at this point IS ok.

I have 2 sons and even though my DH and I are both university grads we knew quite early on that our kids weren't heading for a university. Academically they could do it but temperamentally it wasn't a good fit for either and we were ok with that.

My youngest knew from grade 10 where he was going and what he was taking. He went to our local college that offers 4-year degrees and got a Bachelors of Tourism Management.

Now, my older one took a bit of a winding path. He did 2 years at our local college and had no idea what he was doing. I was the one who suggested he take a year out (I got tired of paying tuition for no direction) and he did. He went to a ski resort and worked as a lifty for a season and it was the best thing for him. He also traveled to South America for 4 months which was a real growing up time for him as well. And at 23 he went back to a comprehensive school where he got a 2 year degree in business/real estate development.

But it took time, and we gave it to him. We stopped pushing. The only rule we had was that he had to be doing something and for us travelling WAS doing something.

There is also a book called "What Colour is your Parachute" which is about choosing a career or a work path.

You were asking about real technical schools. We have a local school (which of course won't help you but it might help in your research of schools) called British Columbia Institute of Technology (BCIT) that offers a myriad of 2 year courses from business courses to apprenticeship programs to fashion and x-ray techs and Applied and Natural Sciences (which might be of interest )and a bunch of stuff that I don't even know what they do. It is a tough tough school but the grads are highly sought after because of the work ethic that you have to have to succeed at the school. This is the school that our older son graduated from 3 years ago.

I'll give you a link just for research purposes BCIT programs.

The examples of programs might help give you some ideas of careers choices.

I just wanted to add that I think it's really great that your goal is to help him succeed- not get a piece of paper that he hated getting. Your son will be well served by your support here, just as much as anything else.

My husband and I have 4 degrees between us- a bachelors each, I have a masters and he has a trade certification. Guess which one earns us our living today? Yup, the trade certification. The skills and experience we have from pursuing the other degrees are valuable, but its the 'GG' after his name and not the 'MS' after mine that directly benefits us the most.

Thank you for all the great ideas and personal anecdotes. He really frustrated his HS teachers as he appeared to be a model student - so quiet and polite (at school!) , a good listener, intelligent and engaged but then wouldn't do any "busy work". He really needs a goal, but in the meantime I think it would be a great idea if he took a seasonal job away somewhere. He is afraid to do so because has been suffering gastrointestinal issues for some time now. He has cut all dairy and wheat from his diet but is still having issues but has finally agreed to go back to the doctor. It's difficult for someone his age to manage this on their own.

He's been successfully working since he was 13. So I think he'd be fine with a government job. He was always very interested in a natural resources job but he knows that the people with the interesting positions have science degrees. He's been told that these jobs are rare and very hard to get. He may wish to pursue that in the future but is afraid of the math involved with such a degree. He'd LOVE to be a fishing guide, he knows some, but they are all retirees, no one making a living. Aquaponics might really be a perfect fit for him (he worked on a project in HS).

Thank you all so much for the links and suggestions that I will curate for him: the Labor Department, Student Conservation Corps, NPS, etc. I know about the MD Extension service re home qardeners but did not realize what they really do.

Blfenton - BCIT looks like an amazing school, just what he may be looking for. I've been trying to research technical schools but many are for-profit and not well-regarded. It's hard to weed through them. Actually, I think he would be interested in a trade - but more on the industrial side.

It seems that many young men are floundering, getting beat out by the women. As a feminist I am very happy to see these girls doing so well. At his HS graduation, the girls took ALL the academic prizes! I am in favor of the way classes seem structured these days - with projects and effort prized as much as test scores. Seems more fair all around. But both of my sons like tests. They'd love school if it went this way: a lecture, some assigned reading, then a test. Done!

My son was the same at that age. No interest in college and absolutely no ability to apply himself. He ended up working for a neighbor who is a contractor. Although his story is much longer than I can write here, in the end (and it took many years and many adventures) he is a very successful contractor. He amazes me. The work he does is gorgeous and he is entirely self taught or learned from working with others. He is also an excellent business man. He has invested in real estate and is doing quite well in that regard. We are a family of college educated people and several have medical degrees including his father. He is as financially well off as most of us and much happier in his work.

Here is a highly regarded trade school near me to consider. Williamson College of the Trades

Tell your son I was totally afraid of the math too, and hate busy work. When I FINALLY switched to a science major in college I was a junior and 20 years old. I floundered for two years, was a music major for one year and then got interested in natural resources but kept running up against the math and chemistry requirements. Since I hadn't thought I was going into the sciences I didn't take the college prep maths and chemistry in high school and placed really low in those areas in college as a result. Initially it didn't matter to me, but when I dropped out of music, I was floundering.

What did it for me was that field course--I went backpacking in the Canadian Rockies and I had never even been camping outside of my friends backyard in Campfire Girls as a kid. I always tell my students I did it as a fun adventure to have over the summer and I thought it would be a good way to meet cute guys. Seriously! I laugh and laugh at that looking back, because once I was slogging through the mist above tree line in grizzly bear country, cute guys were the LAST thing on my mind, other than I hope the cute guys get eaten before me, lol! Instead of that, I got a Rocky Mountain high that wouldn't quit and it changed my life and changed my direction and gave me the confidence to go back to college and sign up for all the hard maths and chemistry, etc.

I had to take a semester of remedial math before I could even get into college algebra and trig. and I had to be tutored all through that. I got a C in the trig course and I am prouder of that than many other grades I got in college. Many students didn't do that well, just plain flunked. I aced chemistry, (again due to taking advantage of the help rooms with the cute chemistry teaching assistants ;) and having good study habits. Don't ask me how I made it through organic chemistry, I slept through the lectures with the unintelligible Chinese graduate assistant who spoke to the chalkboard, not us, but he must have graded on a curve. My point is, if I could do it, any dummy could do it. What made the difference for me was by that time, even though I floundered in college, I had learned to study, learned how to effectively get the help I needed, and learned how to focus my time and efforts towards a goal, to tough it out. Which is what I got out of the initial backpacking experience.

That's what you son needs, life experiences that teach him what we incorrectly call "soft" skills, which is intra and interpersonal skills, rather than content. Content is the least of a young person's worries. I highly recommend checking out the Student Conservation Association, great program!

As for the gastrointestinal issues, I hear you on that one! He may be able to figure that one out as he tries more and more things over time. If he finds a good peer group, that's half the battle. He needs to find a group that encourages him. That was key in my journey. Summer jobs and internships introduced me to WONDERFUL peers and mentors, people I still keep in touch with to this day, 25 years later.

Your son sounds very bright. This has got to be such a tough time for him! I remember that age being so full of insecurity and fear.

Honestly, I would think about letting him find his own way. It may take some time, but he may find his way back to college after a few years. My brother was very bright, but not motivated for college. He didnt attend classes and got kicked out. My brother then worked in a shoe store for a couple of years. He went through some tough times, but my father was always there for him. My father finally sent him out of state to a community college. I dont know how it happened, but he got his act together. He transferred back home, finished college, and then went to law school in California on a scholarship. Now he is partners with my dad. :)

My other brother was not interested in college at all. He told us this in no uncertain terms. He joined the coast guard for a couple years. He eventually moved on to train to become an electrician. He is now in the union and makes very good money. He will get 10k a month when he retires, at like age 50!

I was always academically oriented, but partly because my father pushed me to work every summer, spring break, etc. from the age of 13. If I couldnt find a job, he put to work in the office. I worked some pretty yucky jobs and seeing middle aged people work those same jobs to put food on the table made me determined never to be in that situation. I hated seeing the 40 year old mom show up every day for her minimum wage job. :( It's possible your son may eventually come to the same conclusion.

The gastro issues may well be either rooted in or made worse by the stress of feeling like he's supposed to know what he's going to do for the rest of his life and that he's not following an expected or accepted plan. The fact that you are reaching out here says you and he are probably both pretty stressed about it and looking for some stone as of yet unturned. I think the first thing he needs to do is stop trying to fit other people's plans and trust that he's going to find his path, catch up with his peers and maybe pass them.

The camping experience post is an example of the second thing I'd suggest - that your sone needs to stop thinking about enrolling in schools and think about experiences -- something he's done and would like to take further or something he couldn't do while following a prescribed path in high school.

Don't worry about whether it might be something he can do for a living or even get paid for. Only matters that it is something he wants to do. I suspect he will learn things about himself and what matters in his life, what he likes and what makes getting up in the morning worthwhile, what makes him feel like he's adding value to the world. I think he will find a spark -- then he can figure out where to take it.

If you are correct that your son will be best as his own boss, some kind of educational training and/or business background will help him be successful. He doesn't need to get a degree, but he might want to take some business courses. If nothing else, he could do that while he's sorting out other ideas and plans.

Just some thoughts.

The military has already been mentioned, as well as firefighting. I'll add to that law enforcement and corrections. Corrections is almost always looking for cadets. In my particular state, pay is low. But there is a lot of opportunity for overtime, and of course the benefits of state employment. This is of course for state facilities -- private facilities (GEO, CCA, etc.) would be different.

I work in natural resources and it's the greatest field to work in! Definitely have him check in to your state Depart of Natural Resources-whatever you call it. There are often seasonal summer jobs in parks and in forestry where I live (Oregon) that are entry level and it's an amazing way for young people to get their foot in the door. There are mentors and they get field time, which is the part that would spark his interest I'd bet. Check to see if there are watershed councils or other non-profit agencies that work in the natural resource field. Not all require biology or science degrees-shoot, he could end up working for the forest service as a mechanic!

The Army Corps of Engineers has a couple different programs that involve natural resources-their regulatory program is involved with the Clean Water Act, but they also have programs that build dams, levees, etc.

Definitely check with a community college-ours here have programs for fire services, agriculture related, viticulture and forestry. Not all are AA programs, some are just certificates but lead to great jobs.

Would not suggest the military, law enforcement, or fire service for anyone "independent and oppositional."

http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052748704133804575198011745918470

Most colleges have a career center where they offer the career aptitude tests for free or low cost. If one will not help you, try another.

http://www.rwm.org/rwm/tf_mary.html

Robert Reich on why college isn't for everyone. He cites this interesting statistic: Last year, according to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, 46 percent of recent college graduates were in jobs that don’t even require a college degree.

A lot of four year and two year colleges also offer certificate programs. For example, I taught for a while at Temple University Ambler and they offer a certificate program in landscaping. Classes were at night and on the weekends, designed for people who worked full time jobs. Something like that would allow your son to "dabble" and also connect with peers who had similar lives and aptitudes. He could use the certificate to get his foot in the door for a job that would give him hands on experience. There are even online certificate programs that may not be all that great but could be used to leverage an entry-level job.

And I will echo what Lascatx said, if your son hasn't found his passion and way in life yet, it is extremely stressful for him. During my "floundering" years I often cried myself to sleep and I remember distinctly sitting in the middle of my bedroom on the floor just trying to will myself to die. Luckily my parents were reasonable supportive and also I give a lot of credit to my dad who encouraged me to just get out and try things and have experiences. I teach college and I see so many students who are moribund in their lives, ruled by the fear of failing, since they have always had pressure to do well at everything they did.

One of the things that happened to me on that backpacking course is I went from being a complete disaster as both a hiker and camper, to being one of the leaders of the group. In fact, I went from getting a joke award after the first week for being "Leader of the Pack." (which was sarcasm) to gaining the nickname "The Kootenay Flash" for my performance on the most grueling leg of the trip in Kootenay National Park in Canada. I had to push through all the difficulties and I got support from some fellow classmates. This experience had such a profound effect on me that I have been a student of this phenomenon all my life, both living it, and then turning around and teaching and mentoring students.

So many young people today grow up in an atmosphere of constant negativity and being picked on and picked at for any little thing they do that is not perfect. Just listen to what is on TV, it's mostly snark and nit-picking. Anyone who does anything, a thousand talking-heads will pick it apart down to the most minute level. Everyone is an armchair quarterback on the Internet. This creates a mindset in young people when they are constantly exposed to this, either among their peers or with their families. These young people need acceptance and support that encourages them to try something, and then when they come up against the inevitable point when it doesn't turn out perfectly, they need the acceptance and encouragement that sometimes, just doing it and being just "average" is plenty good.

I see so many students who have to either be perfect or they quit something completely. They end up quite miserable because they can never live up to the impossible standards they set for themselves. They give up a dream because they didn't have success right out of the gate, so they deem it impossible. These students need to get exposed to the law of averages!! I introduce them to the "Pinkmountain Method," which is keep trying and failing until you succeed! I tell them just to do and do and do, don't worry about the eventual outcome, and eventually, by the law of averages, something will stick!! The only sure fire way to fail is to never try. I have many case studies where the "Pinkmountain Method" has worked! For example, I once had a student who was absolutely convinced that she would never get this internship in Washington DC working for her state's senator. She figured there would be tons of people more qualified than her. And I told her, "And they're probably NOT going to apply for the same reason as you! Just apply, you have nothing to lose." This was a case of her not doing something because she felt she wasn't "perfect" enough. She applied, got the internship, made connections in DC and got another internship that led to a full time job that she loved. Got a big "thank you" note from her on that one!

I wouldn't prescribe anything for your son, I would just have him maybe get the book"Wishcraft" by Barbra Sher, to get his juices going on some ideas. It wouldn't hurt for you to explore some certificate programs, (some are online), internships, summer jobs, seminars, etc. It has been my experience that high school and college career counseling services are complete crap. I know there are exceptions, but in many places they just push paper and don't know the students they are supposed to be helping well enough to mentor them. Administering an aptitude test will not help a student find their passion, you have to know the themes and personality type of the person, which may be completely unrelated to how they fill out a multiple choice questionnaire!!!!! Just encourage him to experience things, without pressure. Adopt a "what the heck, give it a try" attitude. Another resources is the "Strength Finder" series, which helps people identify their strengths and put them to work for them in their careers. It's not all that expensive and I like that you can access "Action Plans" with this resource. Clifton Strengths Finder