I want to be able to drive forever but I know that's not going to be possible unless I meet an early demise. I don't want to see people that shouldn't be driving anymore, out driving. One day I was out and a 90 year old man sideswiped me, he didn't even know I was there and I was driving a large Chevy Truck! UGH! This man had NO BUSINESS behind the wheel! He was so worried about losing his license but he needed to lose it! Maybe this is a new business opportunity for a company cashing in on the elderly that cannot drive?

I can't imagine if you are used to driving and how hard it would be to have that taken away from you. I don't drive, never have but I live within walking distances to most stores I need to shop at or I can catch the bus on the corner. Right now I have a bad back so I go shopping now when my sister in law goes so I can get a ride. I do see a lot of seniors out there and even some young people who should have their keys taken away from them because they don't seem capable. Our seniors only have to do a written test and I don't think that is the right way to go, I think it should be a driving test.

If I couldn't drive? I can get by. I can get to/from work. I live within walking distance of grocery stores. Much of what I buy is mail order. But... I have aging parents who don't live where I live. I need to meet them at hospitals/drs office, etc. I have a son who is still in school and is involved in extra curricular activities that require lots of transporting (including car pools with kids and equipment). He can't drive, but is about to learn. Doesn't solve #1 on my list of problems which would arise should I not have a license/car. Other than that, I guess I could get to the bus station or airport if I needed to get outside my city. And the bus system gets me where I can't walk here. For most of it. Loved the Metro in DC. Walked everywhere there and if we got tired, just jumped on the rail.

When I can no longer drive, I have 4 sons, two who will be living with me, that can squire me around - I drove them everywhere when they were young, so they can return the favor.

I shudder to think about that as I am out in the country.

If it was just me, we'd be ok for the most part. We took our second vehicle off insurance this past Dec so I haven't driven in 6 months. We've never had issues before yet since that time we had a handful of "oh carp, what are we going to do" moments. Like when there was a blizzard and the bus company decided they weren't driving the kids home from school just 15 minutes before dismissal time. Luckily the parent of my one son's friend took them to her house until my husband could get there to pick them up (over 1 hr 15 min commute).

If both of us couldn't drive we'd have a heck of a lot harder time. We'd either have to move or be like our Mennonite neighbors who get driven everywhere.

I don't drive and never have. I live in the country and if I had to, I could drive my golf cart into town to the grocery. However, have never done that, my girls take me where I need to go.

Sue

I'm there! Hate it! I CAN drive, have passed license etc. but DH and Ds just won't hear of it. Getting the walker out of the car or getting to an electric cart, if I were parking and shopping alone, would be problematic. NOT impossible, but I do have a bad back, and am glad to have someone lift it out for me. I have a friend, single and very heavy, and she gets her electric scooter out of her Honda...just like ours.... by herself and very efficiently. I envy her, as I know I could do it too.... just NEED to practice and do it (with out hurting the feelings of my helpers).

They are so good to me, and I am grateful.

I forgot....How frustrated I get with DH "pokey" driving. He's the guy that gets in the right hand lane on a 4 lane street, following busses, garbage trucks and every other right-hand turner into driveways and strip-malls for 5 miles.... because he is turning right. grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Bite my tongue. Whooooooo....that felt good.

beautiful quilts Mary

I was also in a wreck with an elderly man.....actually, it happened twice. One ran a stop sign and hit me broadside on the passenger side. The other time, it was at a traffic light....I had the green light and an 87 yr. old man plowed into the driver's side of the car and never hit his brakes. He hit me so hard a piece of his bumper wedged between my tire and rim.

I think about things like that. I live out in the country too. If neither of us could drive, we would have to move to town. I can't imagine living in town....I have always lived in the country or a small town on acreage. My daughter lives in Houston...too far to be able to drive me around very often. I definitely wouldn't be moving to Houston.....I'd shoot myself first.

Mary -- What gorgeous work you do! Could you have a car adapted with hand operated accelerator and brake?

Nanny -- I hope you will get out there and practice. No need to be a 'dependent' before your time! (My DH is famous for what DS and I consider his overly cautious driving habits. I guess it's better to have that than the opposite! One of his early jobs was in PR with an insurance company. I think the caution just seeped into him through the typewriter keys.)

When the time comes that I can no longer drive, if not in such a setting otherwise, I'll move to a more urban locale or closer to a suburban "downtown" I can walk to. And take taxis and Uber rides.

I can't imagine a lifetime of not driving. I'm in a suburban neighborhood now where having a car is essential, but even years ago when living smack dab in what you'd almost call the downtown of a large city, I had a car and used it frequently.

I have thought about the day when I won't be able to drive (heaven forbid). I had always hoped that I could drive to near the very end, but I also know that might not be possible. That thought greatly affects the advice I give to myself and others when we talk about places we might move to. Most of our US towns are not structured for a non-driver and do not have adequate public transportation. Some cities do have public transportation, but I prefer other ways of getting around and city living is more expensive.

I look at my situation now. I live in a town of population 10,000. I have within walking distance, a grocery store, hardware store, dentist, doctor, pharmacy, 2 take out food joints, 1 restaurant, 2 filling stations, 2 garages, 2 fast food places, and several churches. I could survive by walking. it would be difficult, but possible so long as I could walk. However, walking more than a mile may become a pain in the hips as I age and arthritis increases. I would like living in a rural location, but that is becoming more impractical with each passing day.

Count me as one who has never liked to drive. I have purposely moved to an urban area where I can walk to nearly every store I need, as well as my doctor, eye doctor, and dentist. All within about a 6 block radius. Within this same area I can walk to a wide variety of restaurants, coffee shops, bakeries--you name it! I love to walk in my neighborhood and would never want to live in suburbia.

I live way out in the country, 10 miles from a store. That would be a long walk to get a carton of milk. When we get to the point of not being able to drive, I guess we would have to sell our country home and move into town and use the bus or Uber to get everywhere. My Mom had to give up driving around her mid 80's. Her vision and depth perception was off and she kept driving over curbs or side swiping things. She hated giving up her freedom but didn't want to end up hurting someone. DH's father just got his license renewed at 89 then his health took a nose dive and ended up in a nursing home.

I dread that day when it comes around. DH doesn't drive anymore due to extremely poor vision and we live in the country. It's 3-4 mi. to our nearest little town, with grocery store, bank and couple of service stations. We do most of our shopping at another town that is 20 mi. from us and has slightly more to offer and it's about 3,000 pop. No bus service out here. Would have to depend on our DD I guess that lives 22 mi. from us but she and her DH have full time jobs.

Thanks, Cherryfizz & Chisue - I do love my quilts.

I have thought about an adaptive car, but with my hands also involved with the nerve damage, I just don't think I should inflict my driving on the public. If I screw up a seam on a quilt the only result is I'm irritated at myself. If I screw up changing lanes or braking someone could be injured. It's just not worth it.

This is the quilt I made for DH's 70th birthday.

We'd probably have to move too. We're pretty close to everything but walking would be a bit much (~2 miles each way to the grocery for example).

I imagine it's hard to have to give up driving. I think the biggest problem I see is that many people think they are still okay to drive even though they shouldn't be. They don't realize how much they are swerving or braking or engaging in other dangerous behaviors because of cognitive impairment from aging. Everyone else is driving badly, not them. Ever notice how everyone thinks they are an above-average driver?

Because of possibly inaccurate self-assessment, I think the ability to drive should be dependent on a doctor's release, like what is required for medical issues. A test at the DMV every few years isn't enough.

My father had a stroke when he was 65. He recovered enough to go back to work, which entailed a lot of driving. He missed a stop sign and caused an accident. Fortunately no one was hurt but he realized the stroke had affected his abilities. He retired and gave up his license. Not many people will give up their license voluntarily, men especially.

About 10 years ago DH was having severe vertigo. He was put on anti-seizure medication and couldn't drive for a month. Fortunately he was able to work from home and he just accepted the short term driving ban.

Oh, this thought bothers me....and hope I never have to face this problem, but chances are, at some point, I will. I only hope I realize when it is time to turn over the keys, I will do so willingly before I hurt someone else.

I figure when I can't drive that it will be a sign that I need to live somewhere that will provide me with some assistance in that area. Local continuous care facilities have buses that go to the store, mall, etc. plus you can get a driver and care(for a fee) to take you where you need to go. Hopefully that will be a long time from now.

We learned that when my MIL was getting older that she shouldn't be driving when she had a wreck. We lived in another state. We had no idea what a horrible driver she was and she drank too. My husbands cousin did all her driving from then on. I also have given up driving. I've driven since I was 16 so its been a long time. My husband does all the driving in our home. We are both in our middle 70's. But we have a son who is in real estate so he has a lot of free time. Or our grand children to chauffeur us if we need it.

Mary

I've been a senior counselor for years now, and it's a most frustrating problem. The seniors who never consider this when moving to a "forever" home, or the 'children' who they make promise to allow them to never have to move from their homes, or the 'children' who now feel burdened by driving Mom and Dad. Like one friend who lives 125 miles from her Mother, and must visit every single week for the errands, and of course, be on call for emergencies. And my friend is still working! But she promised that Mother could stay in her home out on the ranch. I told her that it's not a legal promise, and that she needs to have a serious talk with her Mother, maybe with the attorney present.

Yes, my frustration is that people don't consider transportation when they get older, and what they will do. And too many are just plain stubborn and selfish.

My coworker's husband was the epitome of stubborn and selfish. He had several strokes and was involved in several accidents. Even when he rammed into a couple and the woman was seriously injured, he refused to give up his license, secretly had car keys made, etc. I think when my coworker realized they could be sued and lose everything, she finally got the family involved and they persuaded him to relinquish his license...he was a real cheapskate so the possibility of losing any $ got to him.

Heck, I don't feel confident driving at night on the freeway anymore so I don't. No one likes losing their independence but we will all face it sooner or later so may as well face reality and not risk hurting others.

I bought a city bike in 2012. It is without a bar, like mens bikes. The thought was, I can ride that till the end. ;)

I live very convenient for walking or biking. But, since I do drive long distance at times, I do like having a car.

However, I could see using rentals...

Buses are VERY inconvenient here. Bike would be my number two choice, just before walking.

Moni

I'm studying online for my California license renewal now. I diddled around and didn't get an appointment, so now I'll be in line, but I'm taking those online tests until I pass each one 100%! I'll get in line when I know it all perfectly.

Funny thing is, my late mother in law had her license at age 98 when she passed. She was adamant that people her age should NOT be driving. She was very energetic and played bridge with her group until the day she died. She did have a helper at the end who drove her and took her to do errands.

At the grocery store I often see seniors being dropped off and picked up by Senior Shuttles, so there are options.

and how ironic it was that my mother "gave up" driving when she was fully capable, and it lead to her leaving her home...she ended up moving in with us and became helpless...

My DH and I were both raised in suburban homes. Neither of us ever lived where we could not walk right outdoors (except in college). After DH retired, we moved from one suburb to another twice as far from Chicago to escape increasing noise and pollution. That was 15 years ago, and at the time I hoped we could have at least 20 years in our new, one-floor home. Hmm...out in five? Eventually...and then what?

We could stay in our home longer with taxi's to grocery, dentist, local hospital, and the RR station (four minutes). Our doctors are currently 20 minutes away. Our DS and family are 30 minutes away. We could move to assisted living in a townhome in this town -- or in an apartment closer to the city. We could become permanent passengers in a cabin on a cruise ship and keep circling the globe! LOL

I think we will stay in our home and add help until we need assisted living -- or until the expenses of maintaining the home and yard outweigh our enjoyment of it. (Assisted living isn't *cheap* either!)

One other thought: We've spoken of dangerous driving by impaired seniors. Yes, it is terrible news when one plows into something or someone, but I am more concerned about drivers of all ages who are overtired, distracted, or drug- or alcohol-impaired. News about these drivers infrequently makes it beyond the police blotter.

My DH was broadsided by a 17-year-old girl who failed to yield to traffic coming over the RR tracks in the middle of our town. Didn't even make the blotter.

Where we're at now, there's zero public transportation and the closest store of any kind is 3 miles away. We're fairly rural and recently got a small grocery store. So we now have a Fred's, Dollar General and grocery store in a small shopping center like area. I could walk to the store and back wouldn't try it with frozen foods! The streets are relatively busy at different times during the day but it could be managed. I could ride my bike also, with some modifications. We are fortunate enough to have some Human Resource services so if a ride was needed, it could be obtained through these services. It's fairly generous but they don't cater to your schedule...meaning they won't wait while you grocery shop.

I've also been driving since I was a young one and losing the ability to drive would be a bit more apparent for me. I drive a motorcycle and feel if my skills started to fail me, that would be the first thing I give up.

I've thought about it, but dismissed any worry since I live 3 minutes walking distance from my daughter, 5 minutes from Tim Horton's, 6 minutes from Kroger, Giant Eagle, and my favorite Mexican Restaurant. I'm all set. And we have bikes.

I'd be in trouble. I'm 10 miles away from stores, the library, etc., and 25 miles away from medical care. I see a county transportation van from time to time, but I don't know far they venture from the county seat. I love cars, love to drive, and hope I never have to give it up. My dad was fortunate that way; maybe I'll follow in his footsteps.

Most anyone could if they wanted to quit but most just don't want to quit driving. A lot of people could still have deliveries. Even frozen food can be shipped/delivered. Cabs, buses, "mobility" drivers, etc are often options. The biggest challenge to most people would be to get coordinated and plan their lists of what they need and order it before they run out. The ones who have to run to the store for toilet paper, will be in trouble.

After the stints in the nursing homes I surprisingly didn't miss driving all that much except when I decided to leave the one before they would discharge me, yes, then I missed having my vehicle there. And I didn't have cash with me for a cab. But in all I found it very easy to get very lazy there.

I think I'd survive OK. Wouldn't like it, but could survive. Small towns, "country" living would be more challenging and that's where I'd prefer to be but I do appreciate a lot of the benefits of suburban life.