Sueb, my pediatrician said the same thing about my dd when she was 11. Her well visits are always in May around her birthday. She'd had body hair since she was probably 10, but she is very hairy anyway thanks to my Italian heritage. But he looked at her development, breast buds, etc and predicted she'd get her period about a year from then, which would have been at the start of summer that year. I also have a May birthday and got my period the summer I turned 12. Well, that summer came and went for her. She didn't get her period until the end of last summer, when she was 13, a full year after the pediatrician predicted. I was shocked as I know that girls get it earlier these days. I kept thinking maybe she was keeping it from me somehow (she HATED talking about anything puberty related with me, although now she has no problems discussing that stuff with me). When she eventually did get it, she waited nearly 3 days to tell me! I was in the process of getting ready for a trip to Ireland with dh and she said she didn't want to bother me. Fortunately, she knew all about it already and I'd already made sure she had supplies - I'd given her a variety of items the year before when she went off to camp just in case she got it there. Back to the OP, I think the earlier you talk with your dd, the better. I've found that some girls just shut down once they kind of understand that it's going to be a "sex talk" b/c they get embarrassed, think it's gross, etc. By talking to her now, I think you can have an easier time discussing it (at least that's my experience based on my dd and the things her friends' moms told me). Coincidentally, I have an 8 y/o dd too and am a little concerned about her possibly having early onset puberty. She too has hair under her arms already. She has always been tall for her age, especially compared to my other kids (my other kids have always been average/below average), and then when I saw the hair under her arms, I started to get concerned. She didn't have it at her well visit in February, so I've been thinking of calling her ped just to see if I should get her checked out. Since she's always been high on the growth chart since birth, that didn't worry me (except found it odd since we are a family of short/average people), but the underarm hair thing does. no puberty hair yet though. That said, my kids are not big milk drinkers and I only buy organic, hormone free mik products anyway, so I don't think there's a link there for her. I'd be interested to hear what your specialist says if you don't mind sharing once you meet with him/her. And BTW, I also highly recommend the American Girl books. Love them for my girls.

Thank you everyone I know I am being a bit sensitive and probably a bit insecure and worrying when I should be grateful. Our living situation makes me insecure. I blame my mother lol it's something I deal with in therapy but I still have made any headway on it. I have lived the 'with money' life with my ex and even when I say, id rather have love than money any day, since I've had both, I still wish I owned my own home, in a neighborhood full of kid with my own flowerbed to dig in and my own walls to paint. It's a goal. We are close but it's been a long two years. Mostly because I have legal fees out the you know what... And I married a man that never planned to marry or have a family and so he never planned for the future. At our ages we are just starting and we have two kids to raise... One is half way out the door ... My son will be settled and in a home in a neighborhood before he starts school and he probably won't remember that if it weren't for hand me down clothes, he might have not have been dressed the last two years. Thank goodness for our blessings because we have always been able to pay the bills, afford extras for the kids and cover the little things that come up in life. I come from a home where we never moved. My mom still lives in the home she bought 42 years ago when she married my biodad. Our lives were always very settled and we all went to the same schools, had the same teachers etc. Grew up with the same neighbors and friends. Dd has moved 3 times in her life, has been to 2 schools and I'm just feeling guilty that we aren't as settled as we should be. I know people move all the time but for someone that came from such a settled background, it's hard to justify to myself my unsettled feelings. I know my Dd doesn't care, I'm sure she doesn't. She is too worried about what books she is going to read and what performance she will do at the talent show. With that said, she hears a lot from her dad about how crappy we live. I know he and sm are just trying to upset me and maybe even make her think the grass is greener over there. I would not say I am jealous of them at all but I feel insecure that he COULD provide a more stable environment for Dd as far as a home goes. Nothing more. I provide fine for her mentally, emotionally, financially. He has made comments that with the amount of support he pays we should be living in a better area. Couldn't be further from the truth but I internalize it and I worry that as Dd gets older, she is going to buy in to what he says to her. And she won't want to be with me anymore. It's just a fear I'm sure there is no basis for it but it is my feelings and I can't do anything but accept the way things are and move on. Thanks again for letting me vent here and giving me great advice. I really appreciate it!!!

We also are space challenged in all of our three kid's bedrooms. One of the best investments I feel we made was to make the most of their closet space and install closet organization systems. In fact, we are presently redoing my 13-year-old DD's one now as the previous one is falling apart. For the girls we added mirrored closet doors which help make the rooms feel bigger and brighter and is also a space where they can check on their appearance--which becomes more important heading into the teenage years. Below are some pics of my 7-year-old DD's room. I would not say it would win any decor contest. In fact, being the youngest she has all mismatched furniture--but it works for now--esp. as I have a 15-year-old DS it does not make any sense to put in any expensive bedroom set she may outgrow in a few years. When DS goes off to college she will inherit his computer desk/hutch which coordinates with her bed. In terms of functionality, I hope this may give you some ideas, though, for a smaller space: Here is her closet organizers: Her bed with a trundle below for sleepovers: Her desk and dressor area. Mismatched, but plus is I absolutely do not care if she trashes this desk where she does lots of art stuff on it. In fact when taking this pic, I noticed some nail polish on the side. Real girls, real stuff. This is a bookcase she recently retired from the family room and houses all her assorted stuft animals, books, etc. I used to have a cube system similar to zipdee's, but in a small room, you get more storage space if you can go up: What we don't have and wish I had space for is a cozy chair or reading corner, though she does make the most of this little corner which is her play school area: Children will change a lot from age 8 to age 12 so keep in mind you want furniture that will either grow with her as she ages or is inexpensive enough to replace in another 4 years. Decor--paint, curtain, bedspreads, of course will change as well and her ideas of what looks good may be very different from yours--hence why I am not sharing pics of my 13-year-old DD's room.

The bottom line is that there will always be both predators and prey in all living things. If we use good sense we do what we can to not become prey. There is healthy fear and unhealthy fear. Believing that crime lurks around every corner that mass media and social media promotes is unhealthy fear. This would include the nonsense that all men are potential rapists, women are approaching strangers in stores and malls to lure them into human trafficking, any stranger who smiles or speaks to you is a threat etc. That unhealthy fear will eventually make one prey. The relatively few true predators out there will always be able to pick the weak out of the herd. Unhealthy fear is weakness. Healthy fear is knowing that there are some bad people and things in the world. Healthy fear is being aware of your surroundings. It is locking your doors and taking normal precautions. Healthy fear is Not because you expect to become a victim but because you are realistic enough to understand that bad things happen. Healthy fear is taking preventative measures but never allowing fear to paralyze you from enjoying life. I part company with Elmer when it comes to dives versus nice establishments. The restaurant //hospitality trade has always been rife with corruption on many levels and it is not just the customers. From back door street drug dealing by cooks and local "thugs" in the local dives to women, kink, designer drugs and other services etc. in high end establishments often frequented by the wealthy many of who are politicians or the owners of the high end places themselves. Raye Smith made a lot of good points. The examples cited in the OP were annoying behaviors but nothing criminal. Paranoia is not healthy fear and I think Kath realizes that herself. She just needs to work on getting past that and devise a system to help her DD gain the skills of surviving the life of a young adult. The world is no less safe than it ever was. But for some reason we have become a fear drive society. We tend to divide people by gender, sex and race making shard human issues and threats more difficult to solve. On the other hand we blend criminal statistics into one big ball of fear without dividing them properly into their sub groups so we can view them in clear perspective and determine where and if the real threats are to ourselves. New age feminists refuse to acknowledge that a young women having a consensual 3 way with guys in front of their friends is not in a good position to say no to the 4th guy. Being drunk doesn't absolve one of responsibility no matter if you are a man or a woman. If you want respect as an equal then act and take responsibility as an equal. Only Kath's DD can make the decision to stay or leave her job. But if she does stay it can be a positive opportunity for her to learn how to deal with people and become mentally tougher which is a good life lesson for all to have.