Well, chances are the scuff mark can be buffed out, no biggie, although that doesn't let you off the hook! Bad Schoolhouse! You think you are the first one to do that? No, although that doesn't make it right.

One time my son was getting in my car at the mall parking lot. He opened the door -- wham -- into the side of a nice new sports car. Then he proceeded to pull the door shut, giving the other car a second good scrape. To be honest, it was at a time when we were young and broke, plus I did not want to face the wrath of my husband about insurance costs. I gave my son a severe talking to and drove away. I don't think I set a very good example that day, in fact I set a horrible example.

Sh!t happens. We are punished by our guilt. Sorry, world, it never happened again. Maybe it all evens out because my car has been hit more than once and no one ever owned up to it.

I sorta did the same kind of thing to my brand new '93 Acord, back in '93....did it myself, and it was not bad, but did not own up to it to my DH (still haven't....sshhh), and THAT is a burden of guilt that still sits on my shoulders. BTW...that old treasure went to my son then DIL, with no other bumps or bruises and 150,000 miles on it. It is still running, most likely with many more miles. Wish I still had it, but I doubt that I could look at that place where I sorta messed up the black trim without feeling guilty.

Seriously? You drove off?

There's no way in he!! I would do that. I've had it done to me and is pi$ses me off more than I can tell you. I work hard to keep my cars looking nice, and when some jerkwater dings my car (on accident or on purpose, I don't care which) and just drives off - it makes my blood boil.

I hope someone DID see you and got your license number to give to the SUV's owner.

What happened to personal accountability? How would YOU feel if someone damaged something YOU owned and just left????

How would I feel? I'd be pissed off! Like the two times mine was hit and the big long scratch from the back fender to the door where someone keyed it. I wish someone had seen THAT guy but hardly anyone ever does. Sneaky b$sta$ds.

Well I don't really blame you. I've known of people who have left notes, only to get socked for way more damage than they did. There's no telling how long you would have had to wait there for the person to come out. And once confronted, they could have been really mad and no telling what might have happened. It really doesn't sound like much more than a mark that is easily removed. You didn't actually hit it and then drive off. Don't lose sleep over it.

I know you feel bad about it and I hope it doesn't happen again to you, but if it does I am sure you will do the right thing next time.

So. You admit it's happened to you and it pissed you off, yet you still did it to someone else...

:::shaking my head:::

Hey, bring on the hurt, must be why I posted - I needed to be told I was bad and a jerk. Nodding my head.

I had that happen to me. Whoever it was had to have known he hit my car. It was probably an SUV from the height of the damage. The door repair cost me $1400 - more than my monthly pension. No note left of course.

We did see a note left on a car years ago by a witness who got the detail/license number and driver description of a person who left the scene but since it was in a parking lot, I don't know how involved the police would get.

Ya know, we've all done things we later regret. So I don't think you ought to be raked over the coals for it. Yes, you should have done differently. You seem sorry & I believe you'll do better next time. It wasn't like you injured someone, then fled. The car can be fixed, & those things happen in parking lots.

***Now I'm wondering if my insurance would have even paid for it. I suppose I have such a big deductible it would have come out of my pocket anyway.***
I think in most cases, that deductible is what you pay when YOUR vehicle is damaged. It is your liability insurance that would have paid in this situation.

There are probably security cameras in the parking lot. If you really feel badly about what you did, go back to the store and ask if they have security cameras and explain what happened. You would probably feel better about yourself. It's one thing to come online and invite chastisement, another thing to take action. (Is chastisement even a word?)

I was at Target once with my two young children in the car. I pulled forward accidentally instead of backward and bumped the car in front of me. I got out of the car and checked to see if there was any damage, and I couldn't see anything on either car. So I got in and started to drive away when a person who saw what happened blocked my way and started yelling at me and telling me what a bad example I was setting for my kids. I just drove away, because there was no damage and he could call the police on me if he wanted. He saw me get out to check the other car. I would have left a note if there was damage. Still bugs me to this day.

Do the right thing. Try to find the owner.

We have all been in your place. And, we have all had damage done to our cars. Not one person left a note on my car when a door was badly dented, or twice when my side view mirror was torn off, or when my tail light was busted. Oh well.
Your guilt is telling you that you will act differently next time.
Dedtired, I totally agree with you. And I have to admit I laughed about the story with your son.

No I have not been in that persons place. I went through hell and high water to find the owner of a vehicle I damaged in a parking lot once. You say you feel bad but the last thing you write in your post is a question of insurance coverage. That tells me you are still concerned how much it will cost you, that's why you left in the first place.

Now go out and find the owner.

By the way just bumping into a vehicle and there appears to be no surface damage jarring a vehicle can cause many problems other than cosmetic on a bumper. A broken strap on the gas tank is one and very dangerous. That can result in the tank falling at high speed and erupting, imagine that happening with a few babies in the back seat. Many other mechanical and expensive problems can result from what appears to be a small tap. I have seen airbags deploy after a small bump, that's very expensive to have them repacked.

Now while I'm not in a very good mood I read here where someone drove forwards by mistake. In 42 years of driving I can categorically say I have never driven forwards or backwards by mistake, and if I did it would be time to seriously think about not driving any longer.

Karma is about to rear it's ugly head upon you, I wish you luck.

This post was edited by SouthernCanuck on Sat, Jun 1, 13 at 22:32

Why did you post this, if then you reply "Hey, bring on the hurt, must be why I posted - I needed to be told I was bad and a jerk. Nodding my head." Is it because you feel guilty and you want affirmation that, "Hey, it's ok?" Did you not expect some negative feedback? I don't understand why you posted this.

I am a firm believer in Karma. Are you?????/

Why on earth would you post this? Yes, Karma's a b!tch!

Add me to the list of folks who are surprised that you would post about this. And you say in a subsequent post that you had something similar happen to you and it ticked you off. So was this a payback of sorts -- it was done to you so you feel ok about doing it to someone else?

I always thought that this place is a good sounding board and we could post what ever is on our minds? Often times we might even come here first before going to our IRL friends.
So, I guess I am upset to see the "why did you post this"? remarks.
Are there now rules here that I am unaware of?

I'm with Ellendi. WOW at the nasty replies School is getting! I mostly lurk here and post every now and then, and I know School is a regular. I think she felt so bad she had to talk to someone and those would be her "friends" here on KT.

There's nothing more hurtful than screwing up, knowing you screwed up, feeling awful about it, and being raked over the coals over and over for it. This is your typical message board "Gang mentality" going on here which is why I'm posting less and less.

Let's just put her in the town square and throw tomatoes at her!

School learned her lesson. Had it been more than a scuff mark and a ding/scrape instead, I'd shake my head too. But never would I kick someone who is already down.

I think School panicked which is normal. She probably doesn't realize that scuff marks are very easy to get rid of.

Since this is a Sunday, "Ye who is without sin...." :)

Am quite surprised that you'd do something so irresponsible, and then post about it here. It's even possible the victim is one of the posters here (I've often been surprised to find that someone here is someone I know IRL).

And as to learning a lesson from this and changing behavior next time? I sort of doubt it. If, as I assume will happen, this poster gets away with this (no one comes forward, no one put her name and description on the victim car)--in the long run, she's going to learn that she got away with this, and that it's safe to do again. I'm sorry, but I see that next time around, doing the wrong thing will be easier for her.

You never know if someone may have seen what you did and got your license number and gave it to the other driver.

This happened to me at a Best Buy. I was coming out of the store and headed to my (brand new) car when I was approached by a woman who asked if that was my car. When I said yes, she said she needed to show me something and walked with me to my car. There on the passenger side was a big dent in the door. She said the driver next to me got out of his car quite forcefully and his door slammed into mine. He saw her, shook his head, give her a silly grin and shrug of his shoulders and went into the store. She was infuriated that he acted like it was no big deal and volunteered to wait with me till he returned. It couldn't have been more then a couple of minutes when he came strolling up.

He wasn't too happy to see the two of us standing there and offered the lame excuse that "the wind caught my door". It was breezy that day, not windy. I imagine his bill went up when his insurance company had to shell out $500 buckets to get the door fixed.

Oh come on people....who hasn't done something once in their lifetime that they didn't regret????????

No one is perfect..in fact...perfection can only be found in the dictionary.

Samkaren
your resident DJ

Jeez, there seem to be a number of people here walking around with a halo over their head. A car gets dinged by a door in a parking lot every second of every day. I have never heard of anyone leaving a note for that. Larger damage yes, but not a door ding. We'd all be paying a billion dollars a year for auto insurance if they had to pay for every door ding.

My last car got walloped in a mall parking lot and there was no note. My insurance paid for the repairs. I guess that was karma for all the door dings I may have left over the years. Whatever.

The way I see is that schoolhouse took a risk telling us, most people would NEVER have the guts to tell another person. So let's put ourselves in her shoes, she's a human being and we're all flawed. She had a moment in time that she now regrets. Hell, I've had more than one of those, saying something out of line etc. This was an unfortunate decision made out of anxiety impulse which is when we make bad decisions.
Let it go Schoolhouse, shake it off. You can't undo what is done and you've learned a lesson. Being unable to make atonement IS your punishment. That's how it works. I applaud your ability to speak out loud about the unspeakable.

SK. That's a good one!! A friend of mine says "No one is perfect
we all have a cracked butt!!!". LOL

All I can say is....damn! You folks are sure judgmental. Let that be a lesson to everyone else. Be careful what you post here. I think the nastiness is totally uncalled for.

You know, it used to be a whole lot easier to maybe scrub it a little and be sure it was surface damage. But now people make such a BIG thing about it (immediately insurance/lawyers) that its easy to understand schoolhouse"s reaction. She left a mark, not a child laying in the parking lot.

I just got a new car and, frankly, it makes me nervous after driving my old Buick for so long. That car never got damaged!

"We have all been in your place"

No, not ALL of us.

. I think she felt so bad she had to talk to someone and those would be her "friends" here on KT.

If she feels that bad she should go out and find the person and offer to pay for whatever, if any damage was done. I know it will make her feel much better for her mistake. That's all it was, a mistake. But how we handle mistakes is what makes us who we are.

I really am surprised at the mature adults here that still thinks it's OK to let it go because it happens all the time. That doesn't make it right. If it makes one feel better to leave a note let the note read:

Sorry I just damaged your new car that may have cost you over $50. 000.00, everyone watching me is thinking I am leaving you my name and number, what I want to say is I hope this doesn't cost you too much money to fix.
Heck, this happens all the time and I don't want the entire worlds insurance rates to go up.

She did a bad thing and feels badly about it. It doesn't make her a bad person. Friends should not be nasty to friends.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone....

schoolhouse, stop beating yourself up. It's over. Do something spontaneously nice for someone and forgive yourself, you gave in to an impulse, you didn't shoot the Pope.

And by the way, as far as penalties, and even insurance companies, my only ding the last 30 yrs was received in a grocery store parking lot. It wasn't a door ding, someone backed into me to the tune of approx. $1500. The police were called to take a report, and at least in this state - Rules of the road do not apply to grocery parking lots, you are definitely on your own. Each persons insurance pays for their own car less deductible and no one takes the time to assign blame.

So lesson - grocery store parking lots may be among the more dangerous places you could have your car ;) I get annoyed with DH, he will park even his truck for work clear out 'by the back 40' if he ever happens to go with me to Costco, Safeway, whether raining or not, he's not about to park close to anything or anyone :)

Me too Magic...lol. I still feel crappy about when I was about 16 and scraped the you-know-what out of another car as I was leaving a parking lot. It left marks on both cars. My mom's car...as I left, saw an old man looking at me as I was leaving. Lied to my mom when she told me I did it. Yes, she knew even though I lied. Never happened again, thank goodness.

Many years ago I lightly bumped into another car in the parking lot. I felt terrible about it. I got out to look at the damage, and there was a lot of damage. I didn't think there was any way possible I could have done that much damage, but I'm pretty stupid about cars.

So I called the police. An officer came out and looked at it, looked at my car, and told me he doubted I did that much damage without incurring any damage on my own car; that much damage was probably preexisting. There was no paint on my car, no scratch, no dent, nothing. I don't remember the details, but I left a note.

Long story short, that person got his or her car completely repaired thanks to my insurance. I feel like I did the right thing and I'm glad I did it, but I'm pretty sure my insurance got cheated. A lot.

So maybe this balances out the universe ;)

What you did was wrong, and you already know that. So perhaps you can repent of it and change?

Fearing outcome more than desiring to do the right thing doesn't feel good, as you see..

So moving forward, you can resolve to fear less next time and rise to the occasion. It will build your self esteem to live consistently within your value system.

Regardless of the price. :)

(Any shaming folks out there with rebellious or distant children? That is often the consequence)

Guys, it was only a scuff mark, not a ding. It would take a bodyshop about 2 seconds to get it off. Probably for ten bucks.

The actual cause of loss was the wind, wind damage is covered by the comprehensive coverage of an auto insurance policy. Depending on the vehicle the comprehensive deductible should be low, however many people keep them as high as the collision deductible. Comprehensive claims do not affect your rates, it's an act of god (the wind or even hitting a live deer), it wouldn't affect your rates. It wasn't a collision, your car did not collide with the other car therefore the SUV owner's policy would cover the damages. If you had stuck around or left a note you may have offered to either fix the damages or cover that persons deductible. Unfortunately in today's world "other" damages tend to come up as a result of said incident. Most insurance adjusters know what they are doing and can figure out what's what. You did wrong to leave, you know it and now your sorry for it. Make it up and do a good deed for someone else if you don't pursue finding the owner of this vehicle.
It would be up to the SUV owner's insurance company to decide if they were going to subrigate their losses and try to collect from your insurance company, both what they pay out and the SUV owner's deductible. Sounds like it would have been a very small claim and the cost wouldn't warrant that company's pursuit. However, that could depend on the SUV's paint color. Some of the pearl/irredescent paint colors are very expensive and if buffing out the damaged area didn't work they may have to paint the whole door, then they would probably subrigate.
Those of you who read this if your inclined, take a look at your insurance policy, if your carrying a $500 comprehensive deductible, see what it would cost to reduce it to $100 or even less. It's really not that expensive and can save you alot in the long run. Some cars however, it's not cost effective to do that. The Cadillac Escalade for example runs high on comprehensive coverage due to it's popularity with thieves. Theft is covered under comprehensive coverage.
I hope you have a great day and we all have learned something from your post.

I have been in your shoes. Had a minor mishap in a parking lot, hit a parked car, then I panicked.I drove away. I then sat in anxiety for three days waiting for a cop to arrive at my house to arrest me. Leaving the scene of a crime, malicious damage, something like that. I decided to get the nerve to call my insurance company. A very nice friendly female agent took my information, where it happened, description of the other car, etc. She matched it up in her computer and found a hit and run claim already in progress. The other person had the same insurance company!. We ended up setting privately. I paid the other driver nearly $1000 for the repairs. The agent told me, never ever leave the scene. I told her I had a panic attack. She told me "Then leave a note." I will never do that again, even if I have to wait all day. Come to think of it, I could use my cell phone and call the police. At least that would be the honest thing to do. Just my two cents.

Just to prove that I am not an inveterate "hit and runner", I did back out of my driveway on a foggy morning into my neighbor's car parked in the street. Very minor damage, but I did tell her what I had done. I think she felt the car was do dinged up anyway there was no point in worrying about it.

A few years ago, someone backed into our car in a parking lot and then drove away without leaving a note. The damage estimate was close to $2000 (they put major dents in the door and bumper) and the shop owner told us he would deal directly with the insurance company on our behalf. All he needed was the police report, which we left with him. Not sure how he did this, but the repairs did not cost us a penny, not even the deductible. So for those who have this happen, talk to the repair shop before calling your insurance company.

Wow, I can't believe the rudeness of some of our KT "friends"

I remember back in 1975, I had just taken possession of my brand new car...drove it to the store on my way home...came out and had a huge door ding! I was so sad that I cried all the way home...but a few more trips to the grocery store, and that first one was forgotten because I had several more to keep it company!

yup...the same old holier than thou gang - i have never done anything to be ashamed of!
right.... lmao!

lynch her! tar & feather her! put her in stocks & stone her! brand her with big old "d" for ding! shun her! bury her up to her neck & let the fire ants get her!
/sarcasm

what a bunch of bs...
smh.

This post was edited by the_catalyst on Wed, Jun 5, 13 at 18:47

I agree with the above!

This post was edited by glenda_al on Wed, Jun 5, 13 at 12:11

((( SchoolHouse )))

Do what you feel is right about trying to contact the other person; forgive yourself for a spur-of-the-moment bad decision, and move on. In G-d's grand scheme for the universe, this event won't cause a blimp on the screen.

The fact you feel so bad about a minor scuff, and you feel the need to confess the error, speaks volumes about your good heart.

Tomorrow is a new day; I hope you're blessed in it.

I hate parking lots . I think they are more dangerous than the highway. My husband will drive round and round looking for a closer place, and we're going to the GYM!!. We have a brand new Prius and I'm just waiting for the first ding. If I were driving, I'd park far away from everyone.

Caroline - you are a sweet person....I bet you have a lot of true friends! :)

Thank you for each and every reply.