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finedreams

Engagement ordeal

finedreams
16 years ago

What do you all think?

SO's 26-year-old DD made an announcement that she is getting engaged to a guy whom nobody met and nobody knows. For the last few years she talked about just casually dating him, then periodically she announces engagement. (?)

She went to BM's house and told mom. Her mom expressed opinion that if it is just so/so casual dating then DD shouldn't get engaged and if it is serious she ought to bring him to both parents, introduce him properly and he must show some respect by showing up finally! DD got into a fight and as always came home in tears and hysterical.

Now BM moved in with BF, SD (call her so for convenience) does not like BF and does not like that BM didn't ask her opinion about moving in (?) It is another source of huge drama.

Now I am tired of drama but I keep quiet. SO asked my opinion. I said that BM is right about engagement. If I would get engaged to someone nobody ever saw, my parents would be very upset. BM probably worries what her DD gets into.

As about BM's BF..Daughter lives in a different state, mom lives in her own house that she bought herself, mom is in her 50's. Mom can make her own decisions about who to live with. BM does not need to ask for permission or approval.

So I said what I think to my BF. He asked my opinion. His reaction: why are you always on BM's side never on mine or my DDs'? Well it is not true I dissaprove many things BM does, but here I think she is absolutelly right! And frankly I got upset and said that i am tired of constant drama, every time around holidays SO is sick and exausted serving and listening to drama. We ended up having big fight and cancelling New Year Eve plans.

Oh on top of everything his younger DD who planned to go to medical school just admitted that she lied about her GPA for two years and her GPA is real low and medical school is out of the picture. Now there is hysteria and crying and drama again. Now MY New Year sucks. I can't help but defend BM when i listen to all this. BM is tired of drama that daughters bring and want peace and quiet. I don't blame her. I don't know if I need to run away now before I get too entangled...

Now because of all this crap we cancelled NY reservation, but then we made up, but reservation is already cancelled so we are going to sit home and probably watch TV. How much fun..All because of DDs' and X.

So my question. If your DHs or SOs ask your opinion in regards to kids or Xs, do you say what you really think or pretend that SOs and kids are perfect and BMs are always wrong?

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