I hate my step daughter
Please help. I hate my oldest step daughter. I have always beens a calm person who doesn't upset easily until now.
History...Married the Dad 11 years again. (his girls were 6 and 4 when we met,this was right after the mother passed away from an illlness. Got married 2 years latter. We had one daughter together. He also has two sons from his first marraige. I am his 3rd wife)
My step dusghter is now 19. Our issues started long before this. She never did accept me as her step-mom. BUt when she was younger things were OK. WE were a happy family.
Then she became a teenager and is has been all dowh hill.
Last August was the first big huge blow out. I was upset because she took her younder sister out driving which is not allowable since the rules were she could only be with someone over 21 on her LEarners Permit (no family exception) I got her sister on the computer and made her read all the rules. Well she got right in my face, told me I had no right to talk to her sister like that and I was a F'ing B&*((, and so on and on. SHe told me she hated me and she shoved me. At this point I was yelling and then her Dad kicked her out and told her to go to the grandmothers. I never got over that night. I never got shoved her hit by anyone before. (I am 50) I expected an apology and never got one. My husband got over it in a couple days. I never have. Sh ended up coming home on weekend and vacations. (she in college) We never spoke, unless her father was in the room and then only what we had to. Very stressful. IF her father wasn't there she would not even look at me. So this last weekend, me and her dad went out, had a good time and a few drinks. SHe
was there when we got home and yes I started it. I decided I wasn't going to be a doormat any more and I looked her in the eye and told her she was a B&))#. She phyically attacked me and she spit on me. I have the bruises to prove it. Her father witnessed it all but blames me for starting it. I started the war of words not the violence.
I did go after her once she spit on me but her father got between us.
I don't think I want to stay married if I have to have her a part of our life. My husband wants us to get marraige couseling. My behavior was horrendous that night but my step daughters behavior has been horriible for years and it finally exploded in me. My husband has a bad temper and it was just easier to be quiet. I know years ago I should have done something but I didn't. THere is alot more to the story and of course you have only my side but I don't know what to do.