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I dont know how to handle my step daughter anymore

14 years ago

I have been with my husband for 10 years

he has a 14 year old daughter who is making my life hell

she lived with us for 2 and a half years and it was a nightmare

her mother could not handle her and basically just said to my husband you take her!

so that was it life was never the same again

i have been treated like complete dirt by her she has no respect for me in fact she has no respect for anyone at all

she has stolen from me lied about me done drugs got drunk started to get sexually active and nearly wrecked my marraige!

after she got thrown out of school for drinking in school it was the final straw for me i could not take anymore and i told her father she would have to go back to her mother i could not handle her

he agreed and she went back to her mom

but things have got worse i now have to deal with his ex and his daughter i cant stand the child i cant handle been in the same room as her and i dont want to see her i am scared of what i will say and do because she has hurt me so much

while she was living with us i took her to see a counsellor as i knew she needed some help the woman told me that she needed psychiatric help and that she had no concept of what was right or wrong!

i myself am now in counselling i dont think that it is helping as i still feel bad inside i feel like i am walking around with a constant pain in my stomach i cant forgive or forget what she has done to me and i need to let go of this hurt

i have done a course on "forgivness" i have done self hypnosis but i still feel terrible

how can a child make me feel this way??

my husband wants his child in our home but i cant stand the thought of it so i dont want to be here when she comes and he is not happy with that atall.

i have tried to make him understand it would be better if i just left him to spend time with her alone she feels nothing for me and i would rather just let him get on with it

i dont want to make the situation even more awkward and it is better for us both that i just go away but he does not understand he reckons i should forgive her and move on

i cant i have tried i dont like her i dont think i ever will

i have know since she was small something was not quiet normal about her and i am not the only person who has said that

her father has even said she is not a very nice person

but he is putting me under pressure to just be there for him and support him i have in the past but i cant do it anymore i am worn out

so i just dont know what to do

i cant play happy families anymore

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