my husband and my children his step children hate each other

13 years ago

I don't know where to begin it has gone on so long(11 years), i am so depressed about it i am on antidepressantes and my husband and children don't know, let me see my daughter is pregnant at age 16teen my husband hates her and wants me to throw her out in the streets, the last thing he said was " i hope she dies during child birth, he constantly calls her the B word and H word, he will not call her directly these names, but while she just in the other room so she can here him, He threw my son (his step-son out when he was just 15 turn 16teen, we(he and i have two son's together age 2 and 8), i feel at times like moving out of town away from them but i can't , someone give me some insight. PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

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Comments (7)

DFWmom
13 years ago
Are you kidding me? He hopes she dies giving birth? Calling her horrible names, thowing out your 15 yr old son and wanting to throw out the pregnant 16 yr old? Sorry but your husband is a real A**HOLE.

Don't get me wrong, I have issues in my home but my problems seem like a walk in the park compared to what is going on in your house. We don't know the whole story but I just can't help but feel terrible for your daughter. While it's unfortunate that she became pregnant at such a young age, it's done and she has to deal with that. She will need you. Why would you even think about putting her out on the streets? Why would you even allow your 15 yr old son to be put out?

I'm assuming that you probably have had a lot of issues with the teens and your husband doesn't know how to deal with it so he just wants to kick everybody to the curb. Those are your kids and you just don't give up on your kids!

Somebody needs to leave but I don't think it's the kids. I'd make DH leave or I'd pack up my kids and get out of there!
mkroopy
13 years ago
What she said!

Yikes....what a mess. Your DH needs help, in a major way. If my GF ever said anything 1/10th as bad towards one of my kids, she'd be gone.
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Well honestly, no one ever said u had to like one another! It's nice for the kids if all the adults in their lives had one flowing ball of communication, but lets be realistic! BM probably hates u cause ur sleeping w a man she has a child by. Its one of those bitter situations of :we didnt work, so why will u: and shes gonna hate u for it. Ur SS resents u for along the same reasons, and wants to make his presence known. He wants a dog he goes to daddy and theirs nothing is stupid SM is gonna say about it, cause u are not HIS mother. Been there done that, trust me! My stepchildren were HORRORS when my DH first got together. Mind u he had already been divorced for two years, with two children: daughter 10 and son 5. And the daughter was THE WORST. Not to mention when my DH first married :at that time the children were 12 and 7: and my SD LOST IT. She and her BM were on a personal vendetta to make my life a living hell. And then fast forward to a year later when my DH and I had a daughter of our own and thats when the u know what REALLY hit the fan!! There were times then when I could say that I hated her, and she hated me I'm sure, but one day when she was at our house for the court mandated weekend, I caught her in the room w my DD. I was horrified at first, thinking, OMG is this kid gonna try and smother my child?! lol I caught her playing w the baby, and then she burst into tears. Sometimes when u hold malice towards someone u tend to get satisfaction out of their pain. Yeah, thats an ugly thing to say, but its true. However, when I saw SD crying I walked up to her and gave her a hug. I'm not saying it was like a lifetime movie after that and all, we still had our battles, and at times I had to try not to lose my mind and walk out, but here we are seven years later, two kids of my own, and two stepchildren, whom I love dearly and I know that sometimes, they love me too....lol Just stand ur ground, and understand its hard for a kid who feels like he has to compete with the new woman for some love. Sit down with him and explain to him that ur not trying to come between them, and that u want to try and share. Theres enough love for the both of u. As far as ur DH goes, though. U need to put ur foot down and let him know that u are not a chambermaid. Stop doing EVERYTHING around the house so hes stuck w chores. That'll really hit him where he lives!
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colleenoz
13 years ago
Jeez, wish I'd seen this before I answered your other post.
Why do you stay with this jerk? He's kicked out one of your children and now he wants to kick out the other one, at a time when she is particularly vulnerable and in need of your support. And name calling is totally unacceptable.
I think if anyone should be kicked out, it's him.
sylviatexas1
13 years ago
We can tell you're very very worried & that you can tell that this just isn't right;
gather up your courage & get rid of this guy.

Get all the help you can find, & of course, post anything you want here;
we're "only" cyber-friends, but we're excellent cyber-friends.
catlettuce
13 years ago
How awful. I hope you and your children are ok, please post an update. Ditto what everyone else said. Kick him out or leave and get your son back. I hope you are being safe, making a plan and have some family or close friends nearby. Go to a shelter if needed, this guy sounds very abusive and dangerous.

~Cat
wdstkdaisy
12 years ago
Does he abuse alcohol or other drugs? If he does, get yourself to Alanon. Call a crises hotline and ask what resources are available for you and your children. Get help immediately. This situation is deathly.

I say this not to judge you, or shame you in any way - but from experience w/crazy. You are not alone if you get help. Please let us know how you're doing.
AvaMax Selwyn
10 years ago
I think more of the story needs to be told before we all say get rid of the husband.

I agree that what he says is disgusting as he is the Adult. However what is it your son was doing to be thrown out? Why is your daughter pregnant at 16? You say this has been a problem for the past 11 yrs!!!.

I think it sounds like there are ALOT of huge issues here that requires some serious professional help.

I wish your daughter well and you strength. Goodluck.

my husband and my children his step children hate each other

Comments (7)

DFWmom

mkroopy

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