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Problem with my adult children & my 2nd husband

9 years ago

Hi everyone,
I really would like some advice and ideas. Maybe a little back history...I left my husband of 22 yrs, our children were 21 & 18. He was very controlling etc and I'd basically had enough and got out.
Long story short, I met my present husband and we married 20 yrs ago. So my adult children are now daughter 43 and son 40. Basically they have never 'liked' my husband and no matter how much he tries he is basically ignored by them. My son will speak to him if he's spoken to but never initiates any chat. My daughter is blatantly rude to the point that she's told my young twin grandsons that he's not part of 'our' family.
My husband & I lived in Spain for 14 yrs but came back to the UK in 2012 and live in my home town which is where they live too. Each Christmas we've been invited to my daughters and my son (he's single) is there too. And it's difficult to say the least. This year my husband has said flatly he doesn't want to go there. Part of me thinks...oh but it's my family but a bigger part of me also can't be bothered to play 'happy families' any more. I'd like us to eat out somewhere but we really don't have money for those prices, or to go away for a few days. We don't have any friends we could be with either. Maybe I just don't need to find an excuse but just bite the bullet and tell them both? This subject has been discussed with them over the years but nothing ever changes.
I know my daughter doesn't particularly like her father's other wife either but I know she doesn't treat her the same way as my husband.
Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice? Sorry this is so long....

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