Yeah, I just don't know either. They said in 'slight' concentrations. And the zep is concentrated. So maybe it is actually 50 parts water to 1 part zep for one and perhaps 25 water to one part zep for another concentrate. 50/50 seems like a strong mix since the zep is quite concentrated to begin with. Oh shoot, I don't know, but I'm going to give it a try if/when the flies show up again. I'll start with a very diluted mix and take it from there. For now the "flies" are gone...again. I used some Safer Soap first and then washed all the leaves and stems with a weak solution of dish det. and water...then brought the plant inside. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the flies didn't come in with the EE. It looked very clean when I brought it in a couple days ago. So far, so good. No signs of the flies yet. Over the Summer I had used the insecticide and the Safer Soap but the darn flies would always return in a few days. Ah well, time will tell. :) Thanks for your responses, John. Linda

Dad has GOT to take a more active stance. Bio-Mom doesn't get to dictate all of the terms just because she has primary custody. The problems you describe are serious, and heading down a nasty, difficult road. If Bio-Mom doesn't change her ways, this child will be one of those 'never grow up, live at home' adults who can't hold down a job or maintain an adult relationship. I know Momma loves her 'baby', but it's going too far, waaay too far. Is there any indication that the child isn't capable of doing for himself? Any signs of a developmental disability? Since he's old enough to be in school, I'd schedule a conference with his teacher. Or rather, I'd make sure your husband does it, then show up there yourself "to be a supportive wife and stepmother." It'll be walking a tightrope, but it's necessary. See what types of difficulties he's having in school, of if he's able to cope there, but just not at home. Whether or not to include Bio-Mom is a tricky issue -- Maybe talk to the teacher first on the phone so you get an idea of whether or not she has the same concerns you do? If she does, let her be the one to take the lead with Bio-Mom on ways to encourage independence and self-reliance. If the teacher isn't concerned, it could be that stepson's behavior is specific to your household -- which would be a whole 'nother can of worms. (If you have the same last name as the child, odds are good the teacher won't even know you're the step-mom until you tell her -- Which of course, you'll do at the 'appropriate' time.) There are ways to encourage a child's independence without saying "You have to do it yourself." Try showing him once, then asking him if he can do the next one. (Make sure it's something small and simple where his chances of success are near 100%.) If he's slow to comply, be 'unavailable' to help for a few minutes -- maybe "as soon as I get back from the bathroom" or "take the clothes out of the dryer" or "stir the pot for dinner." He'll probably rather do it himself than wait. Or tell him how much the 2 year old looks up to him since he's so much bigger, and ask him if he can show the little guy how to do something. (Never mind that it could be the reverse...) Letting him know what to do, then walking away and leaving him to fend for himself can be a very effective strategy. Praising small advances, looking for good behaviors to reward, and admiring 'big boy' things may also encourage the types of behaviors you want to see. Good luck - and hang in there. Above all, try to remember that the little boy's self-crippling behaviors are a result of his mother's actions, not (yet) a character trait.

To all you kind people: Update Some things I have managed to do so far: Made a recovery flash drive / Installed Classic shell, which has been a big help / installed my husband's Bible Works software and FireFox, our preferred browser. Today in my spare time I am working on getting and installing Open Office, having no need for and no desire to pay for Office 365, which we could have had a free trial of for one year. I don't want to start down the path of subscribing to the Office software, when all we need is a word processor, so am hoping things will go well. It seems that to download O.O. to the laptop was going to take "1 hour and 1 minute," so now I am about to see if I can download it to a flash drive on my PC and use that to do the installing. (Update on that: It worked fine. Downloaded in a flash and was easy to install, though I did have to override the laptop's warning that it wasn't from the App store, so might be dangerous.) Oh, and I have ordered an external DVD/CD optical drive so as to be able to install the OED, as my husband uses that a lot, too. Things are looking up, but he has not yet begun to try to use the laptop.

Ok let me be clear. I’m not afraid of my husband nor am I worried about getting a divorce. It was just playing. Those of us who have been married for years sometimes avoid certain conversations just because we know we’ll be annoyed or you’ll have to hear the other complain. It’s not that deep. I also don’t like to make my husband feel unappreciated, so there are times I’ll work around, rather than ask him to change something he has done for me. That’s part of being married. I was merely asking for thoughts on how I could make this a “work around” issue. Better?