My guess is that they expect you to keep the vase, it was a part of the gift. However, you might consider returning it to them closer to Christmas, filled with a lovely arrangement with a holiday feel. It might start kind of a fun tradition of passing it back and forth (like the friendship ball that was so popular some years back).

If you are inviting the one set of neighbors for a specific date for wine, why not invite both couples? The first couple mentioned might feel a bit slighted that the other couple got a specific invite, while theirs was a general 'come some time'. Dropping off the thank you notes would be the perfect time to invite them.

One other thought, tho. It is never wrong in my book to express appreciation or to do kindness in turn. But sometimes it can also get out of hand. It is okay to accept their gesture of welcome as just that, for now, and not feel you must respond, in kind, immediately.

I agree with les in that you don't have to invite them over immediately - I'm sure they know you're busy. I also like the idea of inviting both couples, or even inviting a small neighborhood holiday party to have them see the house, etc. Sortof takes off the pressure of having to be alone with and making small talk with just two people.

As far as the flowers, I am too perplexed. I look forward to reading others posts who may have more Emily Post etiquette experience than me! My first reaction when you said you were going to fill it with flowers and return it was maybe they'd think you didn't like the vase and wanted to give it back!

I'd be more inclined to pull the wife aside at your holiday meet and greet (I love suggesting parties for others to throw! Especially since I'm not a big party hostess!) and just be honest - "The flowers you brought over were so lovely, and the vase is so pretty - I am sure it is one of your favorites, and wanted to bring it back over to you" At this point, she'll either interrupt you and say "No, please keep it, it is my gift to you" or she'll say, "Oh yes, it is my favorite vase and thank you for the compliment!"

I'm guessing she'll say she wants you to keep it, but at least you'll know for sure and won't feel like every time you see her you wonder if she's wanting her vase back!

Over the years I've accumulated many vases and whenever I give an arrangement of fresh flowers I now make a point of saying "I hope you enjoy the flowers and when they're gone you can refill the vase with flowers from your garden". I can't imagine someone giving you flowers and expecting to get the vase back but then you never know. If you return the vase with flowers then it seems to almost negate the original gesture from your neighbors. You could drop off the thank you note and then just ask if they would like you to return the vase the next time. Caroleoh's comment works too.

As for the invitation to visit. I always think a specific time and date is better especially since this is a new situation. That eliminates the possibility that they'd show up while you were in the middle of your nude dusting routine or just after you decided to empty out the kitchen cupboards. I had a neighbor who used to say stop over and the one time I finally got up the nerve to just show up they had house guests that I was unaware of. I felt like an idiot. I like the idea of inviting them together- or maybe even an open house type afternoon or evening.

I think that if the vase was meant to go back to the giver, she'd have said something when she brought it to you, like *Enjoy the flowers and I'll just pop over to pick up the vase next week* or something like that. It would be awkward to take it back to them with flowers in it. When I think of the photos of your new gorgeous new home, I can imagine the neighbor's houses aren't too shabby, so I bet the vase was part of the gift.

That was very nice of them!

I wouldn't give the vase back. Like Folk said, if they wanted it back she probably would've (should've of) said something. She might be insulted if you give it back and think you didn't like it? I know, I know since it's a gift she shouldn't care what you do with it - no strings attached. But I think you get what I mean.

I would send the hand written thank you.

DS and I will deliver hand written thanks you's and thanks for the vase help. I sort of figured it was to keep, but then didn't want to be rude either LOL

The neighbors who gave the vase are actually new to town (we moved in last week and they moved in on the 1st of Nov) so I love the idea of inviting them over when the other couple comes. I'll call them and set it up for this weekend. I'm sure the new folks would like to meet some folks in town. What a great idea!!!! I knew you guys would come up with a great idea :)

Heh heh folkvictorian...actually the vase neighbors live behind our garden in a fairly modest home, though I see them in their garden daily (who does that in Nov?) so I have a feeling they're avid gardeners. I wonder if they want a bigger garden to work on...they may HAVE mine LOL DH said they had to leave their dog behind with a grown child and are missing the dog a lot so they've offered to walk ours whenever we would like which is sweet. (And if you met our obnoxious dog you'd know how sweet it is LOL)

The other couple....I don't know where they live aside from "uptown" (there's down town and up town here). They're a fix up couple by the PO of the house who think they'll be great friends....kind of a blind friendship date LOL

I think after a big dinner today and the guests who left on Monday (we had a house full...ten couples) I MIGHT (might) be able to have the house presentable by Sunday, but only if I can find a duster to get my naked dusting done with :oP Most of the curtains don't have more than lace curtains...talk about an intro to the neighborhood LOL

I want your new neighbors. How sweet!

Handwritten thank you notes definitely. Invite them both for wine, or perhaps morning coffee and cookies ASAP. They sound like nice people and almost certainly worth cultivating.

I'd put the wreath up fairly fast, even if it might not be your taste, but I would not sweat the vase just yet. I might return a pot plant or another (nice) vase filled with flowers before Xmas.

Hold the original vase, pro tem. You might return it for another occasion when you know the donor better. It was a really sweet gesture.

Nice neighbors! This actually warmed my heart!

Oh I forgot about your big sleepover. Have you ever done something like that before? I've made dinners for 20 people before but never actually had them stay with me where I was responsible for all the meals and entertainment. That could have made for an interesting social experiment. How did it go?