Question about Gift Giving...

11 years ago

I was wondering about this and decided to ask you folks:

How much money is appropriate for gift giving (or spending on the gift) for the following people/events (mostly family members):

Birthdays, Christmas, Graduations, Weddings???

I am thinking $20-$30 for Birthdays and Christmas.
$20 Graduations
$50-$100 for Weddings (since you are giving to two people.) And...$20-$40 for any showers.

(I live in Ohio and am on Soc. Security, if that makes any difference.)

(I don't usually give house-warming gifts...unless it is flowers or food.)

Thanks,

nola_anne

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Comments (16)

naughtykitty
11 years ago
There is no possible way to answer your question. What's right for you to give is not always right for anyone else. Just do what feels right for you and the recipient.
duluthinbloomz4
11 years ago
If Social Security was my only (or at least the bulk) source of income, I think what you've laid out above is just fine.

Suppose, too, it would also depend on how big a circle of family you normally give gifts to. Time was, I was getting annoyed at receiving graduation announcements, birth announcements, wedding announcements, etc. for like third cousins I'd never met in my life and never would meet. Nice to be remembered, but I decided I'd not get involved with gift giving that far down the line.

Realize I'm not much help and there will be others with better ideas, I'm sure. A remembrance from the heart is a generous thing and the amount doesn't matter.
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I'm with the ones who say ignore the (alleged) cost of the dinner. Often others chip in on that stuff anyway. "Tradition" used to be that the bride's parents pay for the wedding so tradition doesn't really apply anymore. I believe that what you should give is what you feel comfortable giving and want to give. You should not feel compelled to give because they chose to spend more than the people who go to a JP or choose to have friends, family and themselves make the food. The gift is totally separate from the affair in the cost respect. Could always go with the idea that 2 people didn't go, and were going to give $25 so they should submit a bill to the couple for $125.00! Seems to me they're a little foolish to not make it clear they want cash gifts. Especially if the story released was true. I think it's a great decision to put the cash that way but why not just put it on the invitations and be done with it? I'm also very against the trinket givers. Some hunk of junk that the giver thinks is cute and "personal" that'll wind up in a closet taking up space that should just be tossed... wouldn't it be better to just send half the amount of cash? Or all of it? Seems to me someone previously married likely has all the trinkets and gadgets they need. Cash is still the classiest gift, the most useful and the one that is most always used and seldom is returned. And no receipt needed to return it and no standing in the return lines are added benefits.
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blfenton
11 years ago
The only people I buy birthday and Christmas gifts for are my husband and my sons. My mom gets a basket of her favourite things (soaps, candy, books, etc) from Santa. If my sons have girlfriends the value of the Christmas gift depends on how long they have been around and how serious the relationship is at the time.

Graduations get nothing or if I am close to the person they will get a card.

Wedding gifts for the children of friends are about $50 and for nieces/nephews it is about $100-$150.

I am a curmudgeon when it comes to spending my money on relatives/friends.

I have the money but I got tired of never being thanked. At this point I would settle for a thanks on facebook but I'm still waiting for a thank-you from a niece for a baby gift that was sent in April.

This post was edited by blfenton on Tue, Sep 23, 14 at 18:18
golfergrrl
11 years ago
You have SS income, but you may have $1M in the bank.
Impossible question.
Give whatever you feel comfortable giving.
chisue
11 years ago
Give what you are comfortable giving. Your list sounds a bit more than I think you can comfortably afford, especially if there are many people to be gifted. The only thing I recommend is to keep it constant. If you give one grandchild $20 for his birthday, give the same amount to another one on his birthday.

We don't give Christmas or birthday gifts to adults. Everyone gets a card, and we may have a little tea or lunch and birthday cake, but no money or gifts once they've 'grown and flown'.
Georgysmom
11 years ago
Whatever you feel comfortable with. Just remember, a gift is just that. It is not an obligation, ever.
nola_anne
Original Author
11 years ago
Thanks for all the responses...I was looking for 'norms' in the ranges for 'now-a-days'.

What was appropriate or expected in 1980s and now I'm sure are different.

All great answers and actually gave me some good ideas at the same time.

Thanks again,

nola_anne
Fun2BHere
11 years ago
I think your suggested amounts sound very reasonable.
Rose_NW_PA
11 years ago
I give each of my children $100, their spouses also get $100 each for Christmas. I give them each $50 for their birthdays. I can afford it and some can use the money.
I usually give $100 for a niece or nephew wedding and $50 to ones who are more casual acquaintances.
I agree that you should give whatever you can comfortably afford.
nola_anne
Original Author
11 years ago
Thanks...I like all the reasonable replies here and it is interesting how everyone has a different way and reason for giving as they do.

I am almost glad I don't have a whole lot of money or I would overdo it, I'm sure.

Some of my favorite gifts given to me have nothing to do with how much was given or spent...that's a good thing to remember as I do the giving, too.

nola_anne
Alice_sj
11 years ago
I usually feel odd spending less than $20. I think your ranges are reasonable.
nola_anne
Original Author
11 years ago
I do, too, alice_sj...it seems $20 is the new $5 to me!

Thanks for the comment.

nola_anne
chisue
11 years ago
The US inflation calculator says that $5.00 in 1980 is about $14.50 in 2014. So...your $20 is *generous*!
nola_anne
Original Author
11 years ago
Cool, chisue!

I feel so much more 'well off' now!

:)
susanjf_gw
11 years ago
lol...and I'm being "hit" for more than gifts! lets see...9 grands and between their various activities in the last month have gifted $30 for coupon book (not my choice on that) $25 for birthdays (don't mind that) but now church retreat camp, hs band fundraiser, and ?? and we have budgeted every year $50 for each child and $100 for each adult for Christmas...
nola_anne
Original Author
11 years ago
Bills first, groceries next, gifts last...

Bills first, groceries next, gifts last...

(I keep tellin' myself...LOL!)

Question about Gift Giving...

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