A very sad update to my 'End of Life, Regrets' thread.

11 years ago

Just shy of 3 short months of losing my grandfather, I learned today my Dear Dad passed suddenly of what we think was a heart attack. He was just 66.

I never in my wildest dreams would think the strongest man I've known my whole life, would be gone from this world forever in such a short time after losing his father.

I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for urging me to be with my Dad that day. If I hadn't, I may have had one of the deepest regrets of my life. My father and I had a conversation during that time that healed all wounds of the circumstances of my parents divorce when I was a child. He was my rock, my go-to guy when I needed a pep talk and I will miss him terribly. Even harder is the painful sobs of my young children for their "Pop-pop."

The take home message of my post is 2 fold: 1) Hug your loved ones tightly, and see them often. I did not make an effort to see my Dad enough, because I was always busy with the kids.

2) See a doctor regularly. Sadly we pieced together today that he had been having chest pains this past week, he had the name to a doctor on his dining room table, he was going to make an appointment after the weekend. Don't put off till tomorrow what can be done today. He could still be here if he did.

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Comments (26)

User
11 years ago
So very sorry for your loss, Polly. Thank God you were able to spend time with him so recently.
judiegal6
11 years ago
I am so sorry on the loss of your dad. Your post made me realize that I need to go visit my dad more often. Having a big family myself has made me depend on my parents coming to us over the years. They have a tiny place and it just seemed to much to bring the whole family to their home. Now that my father is failing he can no longer go up stairs so the visits to my house have ended. He is 92, has had heart attacks, stroke, triple bypass (ten years ago)and a fall a couple of years ago that resulted in a broken shoulder that never healed. Thank God my mom (83) is like a 60 year old, and takes good care of him. My DD is getting married next week and my dad won't be able to make it, I'm so sad about that. Sorry to rattle on about my stuff. Again, I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather and your dad.
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hhireno
11 years ago
Oh Polly, I'm so sorry.

Isn't it strange how one difficult situation, your grandfather's passing, actually helped to prepare you for this by giving you that time with your Dad.

May the happy memories you have of your Dad bring you comfort and peace.
bestyears
11 years ago
Oh Polly, I am so sorry. I remember that thread well. I hope in time your precious memories of your dad will bring you some comfort....
bestyears
11 years ago
Oh Polly, I am so sorry. I remember that thread well. I hope in time your precious memories of your dad will bring you some comfort....
tinam61
11 years ago
Polly, I'm so sorry to hear this. I totally agree with your message!

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

tina
deeinohio
11 years ago
Polly:
I am so very sorry for the loss of your father and the loss of your children's "Pop-Pop".

Rather than crediting those here who urged you to go see your grandfather, credit yourself for listening and acting. You knew before you posted what you should do. You just needed affirmation. Then, YOU made the decision to go and YOU opened your heart to healing.

Bless your family.
Dee
User
11 years ago
Polly I am sorry to hear this sad news. It is indeed a wonderful thing that the passing of your Grandfather helped to bring you and your Dad closer. I am glad that you have been able to get some perspective at this difficult time. My thoughts are with you. c
kellyeng
11 years ago
Polly, I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad. It truly was a gift that you had that time with your Dad and I know you will always treasure the memory.
neetsiepie
11 years ago
(((Polly))). I am so sorry to hear the heartbreaking news. I am happy, however, that you got to spend time with your father and gain that closeness again. When my father passed, it was eased by the knowledge we were able to heal past rifts and get closer than ever in the short time we had while I helped care for him.

Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and I'm sending you all virtual hugs.
yayagal
11 years ago
Polly, my sincerest condolences on your father's death, it had to be a crushing blow. Give yourself credit for reaching out to the forum and asking opinions. This forum seems to be a safe place for people to speak their truths. You did he right thing and can live with the knowledge that you were there when he needed you. He'll continue to be in your heart and memories, may he rest in peace. Sending prayers up for you all.
User
11 years ago
Polly, I'm so sorry for your loss, that is such horribly sad news. Loosing a loved one, especially a parent is so hard. It's good to know you made the time to close old wounds and make fresh memories. I'm glad you have that, I'm glad your kids have memories of him too. You're in my thoughts.
dedtired
11 years ago
I am so, so sorry for the loss of your dad. So unexpected! I am glad you had settled your differences, and I think there is a lesson for all of us in this.
golddust
11 years ago
Oh, Polly! What sad and unexpected news but a great message that I echo. My own dad died suddenly from an aneurysm in his stomach that could have been prevented if he would have gone to the Dr. He was 69 years old and had symptoms prior.

Know that we are standing with you during this terrible time. ((hugs))
hilltop_gw
11 years ago
You have my sympathy Polly. Glad you were able to spend time with him in recent months. We never know what tomorrow may bring.
teacats
11 years ago
So very very sorry .... sending along hugs .....
theroselvr
11 years ago
I'm so very sorry ~Hugs
polly929
Original Author
11 years ago
Thank you everyone, this is a tough one to get through.
mitchdesj
11 years ago
My condoleances, I wish you strength and courage in this difficult time.
stinky-gardener
11 years ago
I am so sorry, Polly. Sending you hugs and prayers.
gsciencechick
11 years ago
So sorry to hear of the loss of your father.
texanjana
11 years ago
Polly,

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. I pray comfort and peace for you and your family.

Jana
fourkids4us
11 years ago
Polly, how shocking! I'm so sorry. I hope that the fact that you were able to spend that valuable time with him recently helps to soothe some of your pain at losing him so unexpectedly. My thoughts are with you.
golddust
11 years ago
I've been enjoying your tribute to him on Facebook.
polly929
Original Author
11 years ago
Thank you golddust. My dad loved facebook. He loved posting old pics on there and reminiscing and being nostalgic. His services were yesterday. It was standing room only. He was loved by many people. It was really touching to see just how many, although it was a long exhausting day and it's now pretty much just a blur. My Dad has always been there when I needed him for pretty much anything. It is going to be tough not to be able to just pick up the phone and call him. Or even worse, the sad reality of him not being here for our next big family party in August. There will definitely be a huge void.

In my heart of hearts, I know he is ok. I'm not extremely religious but I firmly believe in God and what he holds for us after we pass from this life. I have received many signs since his passing, and I have not even looked for any.

I just have so many unanswered questions regarding his estate and he did not have a will. So unfortunately, I have a long road ahead with the estate. He was part owner of a business in which the partner stopped paying him profits and he had started litigation against the partner. He was also involved in suing my grandfather's partner for his estate because the partner had forged a check and wiped my grandfather's accounts clean while he was ill. I'm sure the stress of it all contributed to his sudden death. He was devastated to have been betrayed by both of them. Not looking forward to any of it, but I will right the wrongs that were brought against him.

The moral: If you don't have a will, get one now. Life is fragile and it could end any second, it's a great mystery and we just never know when our time is up.
anele_gw
11 years ago
Oh, dear Polly--- I wish I could be there and give you a hug in person. You have gone through so much and it sounds like there is a lot more on your shoulders. Both your heart and mind must be heavy.

I am so glad you got to see your father and have that life-changing conversation. Thank goodness. I remember when you were struggling with that. Think of what you did . . .you put yourself "out there" and took a risk to go and see him. Not everyone would have done that, for sure, but you did and now you can have a little peace with your decision.

I also appreciate your advice regarding practical matters. Such important reminders.

Thank you so much for sharing some of your life with us and finding the good in the pain and loss. I hope you have had many chances for crying and being free to be sad.

A very sad update to my 'End of Life, Regrets' thread.

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A very sad update to my 'End of Life, Regrets' thread.

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