How do you stay motivated? Well lizzardly, first, you've got to get your priorities straight...See, husbands come and husbands go, but how often do you see a free bathtub you could make that pond out of you've always wanted?!!! Think about it..... Just kidding, of course. I know how you feel. My DH and I are opposite in the same way y'all are. Have you ever read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? It can help you understand what he really means. It can help you communicate with him better too. It's hard to give advice without knowing both of you, and it makes a difference the way he says it too, but the thing that helped me is- don't take it personally. Think of it as if a friend or neighbor had said the same thing. That way you get all the other issues out of the way and fast foreward to the problem at hand. Keep believing in yourself. Don't let him squish your ideas or convince you it's a waste of time. You were working, plus you did all that work around the house, you earned the right to play with a little junk and discover the creative side of yourself without a big hassle, now that you have a little time, before you die. Guys do like to think they're being helpful, maybe you could find some project for him to work on. And sometimes they are right. There may actually be too many tree roots in the yard to sink a bathtub in. Maybe he could help you figure out how to build a raised platform or partially bury your pond or put planted pots or rocks around the bathtub or make a pond out of something else. Keep an open mind. Sometimes you just have to ignore the nay-sayers and forge ahead. I like to make my own mistakes, too. Otherwise I'll always be thinking something could have been different. But he didn't help when you were working on the house, why does he feel like you need his advice now that you want to enjoy your self a little. Does he have a hobby/interest? You may have to do some things when he's busy with something else. Now, what actually motivates me is- wanting to see what something will look like. Also, I want to use the things I've collected and carried around all these years, and clear out the rest. I find as I get older, it's better to get up and get interested in sometning rather then sit in a chair and think about how bad I feel, and be thankful I still can, quite a motivation. It is very comforting in more ways than one, to have something to work on. I like happy endings. Hope you get that pond and I hope you learn to play nice together. Hang in there. Donna

lilod, "but I would love to go shopping with you, it always gets interesting!"...What an understatement! "Don't understand why your friends have a habit to disappear."...I DO!! Bless her heart. jaz, "I don't know which is scarier: YOU behind the wheel, or you behind the wheel of a TOYOTA! "...I feel your pain. LOL!! Bless her heart.

Glad to hear that you have gotten started, Rich. I am also using jugs and 2Ls and cups from last year. Those seedlings should be fairly easy to recognize without labels. I did a few perennials today and will do more tomorrow. We are to have temps in the low 70s next week so I am going to do most of my sowing outside then. Will also start my annuals though it may be a little early here. MN has been having a very warm spring with no snow and little rain throughout March. Still lots of moisture in the ground though from melted snow. Some of my 2nd year containers needed watering. That's a first for March for me. Today our high was 36 degrees, a blip, and then back to the high 50s again in two days. Normal averages are mid-40s.

The Other Side...I think we agree on this topic slightly more than you give credit...what I said was: "There is healthy bonding with your child that is less "child centered" and establishes more independent children" I think from the sounds of it you have formed a relatively healthy attachment to your kids while fostering independence at the same time. My post was really more directed toward unhealthy "spouse replacement" type attachments with children. Your example of letting a 4 month old cry until they vomited is interesting and debateable of course. It is easy to judge without all the info. From your description it sounds on the outset horrible, as it conjurs images of a child left to cry for hours in abusive neglect, however, without the full story I reserve my judgement. Is it possible the parent not adequately burp the baby and the baby vomited after less than 15 min of crying? The parent did go in and change them. It is possible that it was not as abusive as it sounds, but rather a very normal process every parent must go through to allow their infant an opportunity to learn to "self-soothe" in order to develop good sleep habits that last a lifetime? It sounds as if you have the one child? Regarding the 16 year old world traveler. I can't say in this day and age I would send my child (16 is still a child) to travel alone in europe. I suspect it was with a school group (that is not alone)? Otherwise...I cannot give you the "way to go" you are looking for. I simply cannot agree that it is a "good" thing that your 16 year old "did" europe all alone. I am glad you and your ex Husband agreed...I presume a lack of closeness was not what broke up your marriage then? Regarding the pill swallowing...if you can swallow food...you can swallow a pill. Unless you take your sustainance via a straw...you can swallow something that big. Unless someone can show me in the DSM a diagnosable illness that precludes you from swallowing something smaller than stuff you put down your pie whole 3 times a day...I am not buying it! Your mother did you a disservice not teaching you that life skill earlier. I plan to ensure that every one of my children can swallow a pill. Sorry that hit a nerve...It is ridiculous!!!! Its a flippin pill! ok you can yell at me now. Ha ha