Make a "butter cream" frosting out of non soy margerine...or even Crisco....just take 1/2 cup of either margerine or crisco and add powdered sugar until it's easy to spread....add 1/2 tsp vanilla or flavoring of your choice and there you are.
Or make a classic 7 minute frosting...or a marshmallow creme frosting ( use the recipe on the jar...
No need to have dairy in frosting unless you want a cream cheese frosting.
And remember that just powdered sugar....2 cups moistened with a little orange juice makes a nice glaze.

lindac - thank you so much!! Everywhere I looked through my recipes I've always used a little milk or cream it seems like. Can I add some cocoa to make it chocolate? I asked my MIL as she's done way more cakes than me and hers had a little of milk in it too. What is a classic 7 minute frosting? I grew up with tortes so haven't really had enough experience in this department.

Crisco is easy enough to find (have some) as compared to non-dairy margarine so I will try it with that.

Hmm a glaze might be good too. Never done that, but it sounds good.

I love perusing Karina of GlutenFreeGoddess blogdom...
She is Celiac, and because of it, has a lot of other food avoidances in her life.

I have made several of her GF recipes, have yet to try her frostings..but they look devine..and use other "milks" or liquids.

In fact, I think I may just make her Chocolate Cupcakes with Coffee Icing tomorrow...They look sooooooo durn good.

And in my opinion the best "milk" is coconut...I use it instead of cream in my coffee.

Here is a link that might be useful: Gluten Free, Dairy Free Cake's and frostings

I make a perfectly acceptable icing for cakes using a large blob of margarine, confectioners sugar, and suitable liquid. You can use water, juice, coffee, whatever you like. If you want chocolate icing add some cocoa and use water for the liquid. Add the liquid in tiny increments until the icing is the consistency you want it. Don't add too much or it will be runny. No measurements, just eyeball it but I would use about a pound of confectioner's sugar for a cake, with a blob of margarine about the size of a large egg. You can use more if you like, it's not set in stone.

Recipes from "The Complete Food Allergy Cookbook" by Marilyn Gioannini.

COCONUT PECAN FROSTING
(15 minutes - Frosts two 8- or 9-inch layers - also soy-free if you use vegetable oil instead of margarine)

1/4 c. margarine or vegetable oil
1/2 c. honey
1/2 c. water or rice milk or other milk substitute
1-1/2 t. arrowroot powder
1 c. chopped pecans or walnuts
1 c. unsweeetened shredded coconut
1 t. vanilla (optional)

Put margarine and honey into a small saucepan. Mix 1/4 c. of the water or milk substitute with the arrowroot until smooth. Add the arrot mixture and the other 1/4 c. water or milk substitute to the saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Cook and stir over medium heat for about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and add pecans, coconut, and vanilla. Beat briefly and frost cake while frosting is still warm. Makes enough for two layers (tops only) or a 9x13 cake.

1/12 recipe: calories-156, protein-0.9, carbohydrates-15.2, fat-11.1 g, sodium-60.9 mg, fiber-0.7 g
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CREAMY MAPLE FROSTING
(20 minutes - 12 servings)

2 (10.5-ounce) packages silken tofu
1/3 c. cashews, or other nuts
6 T. maple syrup
1 t. vanilla (optional)
1/2 t. cinnamon (optional)

Remove tofu from package and cut into slices. Place in steamer basket in saucepan and steam 5 minutes. Drain between several layers of cotton toweling for at least 15 minutes to remove all the excess water.

Put nuts, maple syrup, vanilla, and cinnamon in blender container. Blend until very smooth. Add tofu a little at a time, blending until the mixture is very smooth and creamy. Scrape the sides of the continer often. Chill before spreading on cake. Makes enough for a 2-layer cake.

Tip: Refrigerate leftover cake -- tofu does not keep well unrefrigerated.

1/12 of recipe: calories-69.6, protein-2.9 g, carbohydrates-7.9 g, fat-3.1 g, sodium-12.5 mg, fiber-0 g.
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MOCK WHIPPED CREAM
(20 minutes - About 1-1/4 cups)

Good substitute for whipped cream, with no cholesterol, refined sugar, or milk products. It can be used as a cake topping (it is NOT thick enough to spread).

1/2 (10.5-oz.) package silken tofu
1/3 c. raw cashews
1 T. maple syrup
1 T. vegetable oil

REmove tofu from package and cut into slices. Put unused portion in a plastic container, cover with water and use within 3 or 4 days. Place portion to be used in steamer basket in saucepan and steam 5 minutes. Drain in a kitchen towel for at least 10 minutes.

After tofu is drained, put cashews, maple syrup, oil, and 1/2 c. water into blender container. Blend on medium-high several minutes until very smooth. Add steamed tofu to the blender and blend well. Chill well before serving. Mixture becomes thicker when chilled.

1/8 recipe: calories-64.4, protein-1.7g, carbohydrates-3.9 g, fat-4.9 g, sodium-4.6 mg, fiber-0 g

You can also make a raspberry chocolate glaze by melting 1/3 cup raspberry jam or fruit spread with 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips in a double boiler.

Thank you for the information and the ideas. Now we might actually be able to make a sock monkey face cake (the 4ft sock monkey she got from her uncle is the absolute favorite right now).