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mustangs81

Noel Elizabeth, My Beautiful Angel Crossed Over

13 years ago

Noel in front, Buster Frank in the back.

Peppi, my dear friend and pet mentor, urged me to share my sorrow with those here who understand the loss of a beloved pet. I haven't been able to share this even with family members because of my guilt that I didn't do enough.

Noel was 16 years old. Of late she has been suffering with feline diabetes. In addition to medication, for the last year I have been making her food and I saw remarkable improvement.

Noel was an incredible cat, when my mom was with us, Noel would persist in waking me up at night until I discovered she only did this if there was something wrong with mom (e.g. she had falling, was crying out, or was in distress).

The last time I saw Noel, she looked at me and I knew she was saying "mom, it's time". It was the same look I saw in my own mother's eyes before...

Buster misses her too, they were together for 16 years. He follows me like a shadow, sleeps on top of me, sits on the keyboard. I am debating getting a brother/sister for him.

I know I am rambling but it's hard when your eyes are clouded with tears and your heart is bursting with sorrow.

Comments (41)

  • 13 years ago

    I know how hard this is for you! So many of us have gone through this with our fur babies! She was just beautiful and you gave her an incredible life! The pain and sorrow will become easier with time,I can promise you that! In time, you will be able to think about all the good times and less on the hurt and pain you are feeling now!

    I am so sorry for your loss! Although she can never be replaced, adding to your family may be just what you and Buster need!

    I'm glad you stopped by and shared your story here with us! This is an amazing forum and so many are here for the good and the bad things in life!
    Gina

  • 13 years ago

    Oh Cathy, I'm so sorry. I know exactly how it feels.

    At 16 Noel had a long and happy life with you, and you shouldn't feel guilty. You loved her and she trusted you to take care of your Mom, of her, of everyone.

    She'll be waiting for you, and don't be surprised if you "see" her around for a while. I saw my old cat, Snowflake and I saw the WonderWeiner, I know they had to make sure I was OK, even after their deaths.

    Annie

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  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, no have no reason to feel any guilt. Noel had a wonderful Mommy that did everything she could to keep her happy and healthy. She looked at you and said "thank you for loving me". She went on her own terms, and being a cat, that is most fitting.

    Hugs, my dear freind. And when the time is right, a new sib for Buster will be there.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy,

    I'm so sorry! I lost my Bear (my Shih tzu - Maltese mutt) over the summer. I cried for 4 days straight. It still makes me sad. He was only 10 years old. He was my little boy.

    I did get two new puppies for my birthday (the beginning of August.) They're Shih tzus. They are little wild crazy things, but make me smile every day.

    It's amazing how those little furry kids find a big place in your heart. It's ok to be sad.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy....I am so sorry....I know how you feel....
    Both you and Buster Frank need a new friend to help fill the gap left by Noel Elizabeth.
    Linda C

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy - so sorry for you and the family, including Buster.

  • 13 years ago

    Oh Cathy hugs to you and Buster and your whole family. I know you miss Noel desperately. I'm so sorry

    Alexa

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, so sorry to hear this. Please don't think for a moment that you didn't do enough. I'm sure you made all the best choices for Noel. It's such a heartbreak.

    When my Sheena was failing, I made an appointment to have her put down. Over the weekend she could barely walk or eat. On Monday, the day of the appointment, she kind of perked up. I still went ahead with it, knowing it was only temporary. She was 18. However, I still wonder if she might have had a few more good days or even weeks and if I made the right choice.

    I just so sorry for your loss.

  • 13 years ago

    I'm sorry, Cathy. She was a beautiful cat. I'm sure you did everything you could.

  • 13 years ago

    (((hugs)))

    I am so sorry

    You are one of the most conscientious people I know and I wouldn't hesitate leaving one of my own kids, fur or not, with you, don't second guess yourself

    I hope time eases your pain and your memories hold you tight

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, I am so sorry that Noel's time had come. You certainly have nothing to feel guilty about. Such a beautiful cat, and such a wonderful, happy, life you gave her. They both look so content on that window sill.

    Hugs to you. Until you see her again......

    Linda

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy I'm so sorry. I know your pain. Noel was a beautiful girl and there is no doubt in my mind that you did everything possible for her. Give Buster a pat for me. I know if anything were to happen to Abby or Monty the one left would miss the other terribly.

    Ann

  • 13 years ago

    Dear Cathy, I know without a single doubt that you did everything you could have done and then what you should have done for your beautiful companion Noel. It is so hard to decide and then so difficult and painful to realize she is gone. Of course Buster Frank is grieving too, at least you can hold him and share the sorrow.

    I cannot think about the kitties and dogs we have lost with tearing up. So many of us here share your sadness.

    She had your love and care and good food for a long life - what more can a good kitty ask for.

    Sending you hugs and a scratch for Buster Frank.

    Lee

  • 13 years ago

    I'm so sorry you have lost your beautiful cat. I know you did the best that you could for her in the time that you had her. Give yourself time to grieve her loss, then think about a buddy for Buster.

    Hugs,
    Teresa

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, I'm so sorry about your loss of Noel & having been thru the loss of a couple dear pets I also understand your grief. Feeling some guilt is a natural part of the grieving process for many people but please don't confuse it for believing you really did anything wrong or could have changed the outcome. You're a great Mom & Noel was very lucky to spend her life with you.

    Lots of hugs being sent to Buster also.

    You'll know when/if it's time for a pal for Buster.

    /tricia

  • 13 years ago

    I'm so sorry Cathy.

  • 13 years ago

    I'm sorry Cathy. Our pets break our hearts when they leave. Hugs.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, as others have said....guilt that you didn't do enough is a common emotion...and totally misplaced..even though we all experience it. I am so sorry about Noel. I just have to say that many animals do not enjoy a long life with a beloved human who cares deeply about them...and you should not only be proud of your years of caretaking but also remember how blessed you were with the love of a beautiful animal...for many years. Please do not feel guilty...every being on Earth is given so many days...and as you loved Noel every day she was with you then you did everything and more that was required to ensure a happy life for her. I know the heartbreak of losing a pet and it really sucks...but when time goes by you have to remember that both of you were lucky to have each other and remember the happy days. That is all we can do.

    Duane

  • 13 years ago

    Oh Cathy, I had no idea...You are such a wonderful fur Mom that i know Buster will look to you for his attention of grief, sorrow and neediness for the time being. I'm so sorry...You did what you could for your girl. I'll call you tomorrow. A new playmate would be wonderful!!

    On the other hand...guess what I did? I adopted a dog last week. She is a resuce and we are so in love with her. I'll post pictures sometimes this week. Can you belive I have a "Wonder Weiner" that is perfect for us.

    I'm feeling for you...8 years ago I lost the love of my life (Captain) and am just now getting over it. Time makes it easier but never better. Love you and RIP to Noel.

  • 13 years ago

    (((((Cathy))))) I am so very sorry for your loss. So many of us have walked that same path...please know my thoughts & prayers are with you.

  • 13 years ago

    You can't imagine how much comfort I have gotten from upit wprds pf comfort, understanding, an d support. S0rr67y, Buster just joined me onr the key board and he doesnt tu[e well.

    I asked DH to read the comments you have posted.

    Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

    Cathy and Buster

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, I'm so sorry to read that you lost a beloved fur friend. It's so hard and I know what a big heart you have.
    Take care my friend and give Buster a hug from me.

    Nancy

  • 13 years ago

    I wish I could help your pain Cathy. I'm so sorry Noel Elizabeth passed on. I've had those thoughts that I didn't do enough, but as Duane and others have said that happens to many of us. She looked at you and told you. You did what she wanted on her timing. You gave her her last gift just as you gave her so many gifts over the long lifetime she shared with you and Buster and of course your DH. I still grieve for the extra special ones and miss all of those who were with me for however long or short. May I just suggest that when you do think of getting a friend for Buster, perhaps you'll think of adopting a senior. Sometimes younger cats are a bit much for our older cats. I send you healing thoughts and honor your grief.

    RIP Noel Elizabeth, beloved by Cathy, Buster and Family.

  • 13 years ago

    Awwww...I'm sorry Cathy. Noel and Buster remind me of our long-gone long-haired,blue-eyed Max and Molly. We still miss them. Some cats are just special. Noel had a long and happy life with you.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy I send you hugs and comforting thoughts as I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet. I've had many cats and they are have been dear to me.
    It's so sad when they leave but you surely did all you could to keep Noel comfortable. She sounds like she was a very special companion.

    SharonCb

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, I'm so sorry! People without furbabies sometimes don't quite understand the attachment we have to them. We understand! Give Buster a little scratch under the chin for me...

    Lori

  • 13 years ago

    Oh Cathy I am so sorry to hear about Noel. What can I say that hasn't been said already. All I can do is send you a hug.

    Sharon

  • 13 years ago

    I am so sorry, I know how painful this must be.
    And I agree with what coconut said about adopting another.

  • 13 years ago

    Oh, Cathy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I had trouble reading your post because my eyes were full of tears, also. My heart and thoughts go out to you at this time. Noel sounds like she was a wonderful, perfect cat and companion.

    Sally

  • 13 years ago

    I'm so sorry too. I didn't realize you were dealing with any of this (((Hugs))). Sixteen years for a cat with feline diabetes is a remarkable lifespan, and I think you should put to rest any thoughts of not having done enough. Know we share your sorrow, and feel some of your pain. Wait for a ''real-life'' hug from me soon.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It is still so raw for me from time to time; I miss Cleo so much. I know the guilt you are feeling - I too wondered about doing too little or rushing any decision.

    You obviously loved Noel very much and were a wonderful person for her.

    Hugs to you and Buster

    Janet

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, I'm so terribly sorry you lost Noel. Both of your pictured cats are beautiful. I too have suffered the loss of a wonderful cat and that was many years ago. Even today I can still see his eyes looking at me and pleading. At that time I had never heard of feline leukemia and had no idea he was ill. I just thought he was throwing up furballs even though I combed him every day. I still feel the guilt something terrible so I know exactly what you are going through. It sounds like you did everything you were capable of and doing a wonderful job. There's probably no other cat on record that lived that long with diabetes and that was all thanks to you.((((Cathy))))

    Beverly

  • 13 years ago

    Oh Cathy, my heart aches for you. Each one of us is privileged to have a truly remarkable pet, and Noel was yours. You gave her a wonderful life and in return she gave you all that she had. Your love was returned, but diabetes is a cruel disease. I know, we lost our Apple to it. Take comfort in your memories and know that we all understand your pain.

    >>>
    Ellen

  • 13 years ago

    Oh, Cathy.

    I just saw this post and I am so sorry for you, my friend. Tough times indeed.

    I thought I'd share this with you to ease your sorrow just a little

    THE RAINBOW BRIDGE POEM

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

  • 13 years ago

    I am so sorry, Mustangs. I know your heart is aching but you had so many wonderful years with Noel. And like Annie says, don't be surprised if you see her. I saw one of my cats after she passed and I would swear to anyone that was exactly what I saw. Extra hugs to you and Buster.

  • 13 years ago

    Thank you all! I thought I heard her at 3 in the morning and ran out side and I thought I saw her sitting in the yard. I guess I was dreaming.

  • 13 years ago

    Thank you all! I thought I heard her at 3 in the morning and ran out side and I thought I saw her sitting in the yard. I guess I was dreaming.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy,
    I just joined the CF, but am a regular at the Kitchen Table.
    I was going to post the Rainbow Bridge, but am glad to see L2C46 already has. It makes me cry every time I read it.

    I've lost a number of cats, and it's hell each and every time.
    They are absolutely a member of your family. Noel was just gorgeous, and rest assured, she knows how very much she was loved.

    Poor Buster must be missing her. I remember when I had to put Bailey to sleep, the next morning Smudge was walking down the hall and stopped and looked behind him, as if waiting for Bailey (they always escorted me down the hall together). It broke my heart and I bawled all over again.

    You won't think so now, but it does get better.
    You've got lots of support here, so anytime you need to vent, or share your stories, please do.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, don't be too sure you didn't see her. Cats have a way of showing up long after they're gone. I always consider it a sign that they're all right and they just want to comfort us.

  • 13 years ago

    Cathy, you were NOT dreaming! Yes, there is more to this world and beyond that we know. I'm sure that was your beloved kitty. My MIL has had her cat that passed away a couple of years ago (she feels so guilty...that dam* poison food from China) Tommy...felt him walking on the bed when she was lying there and feeling him lay down. He is letting her know he is okay and not to feel bad about what happened.

    And guess what? I saw Duke too.....he died Oct.11 and a couple of weeks later I was out in the driveway playing with my other dog Spirit and it was just coming to dusk. I was going in and ready to hit the buttons to close both garage doors and I seen what looked like Duke walking along the driveway...just like what a ghost would look like...a bit hazy and slightly transparent...walking straight back to the area of the yard I buried him in.

    My sister who is a psychic (works for law enforcement and even the FBI) says that Duke is with my mom in heaven but part of his spirit is still on the mend from his time on Earth. Well, I don't know about all that...but I know what I saw!

    Duane

  • 13 years ago

    You all are making me cry!! She woke me up again in the middle of the night. I kept replaying it in my mind and realized that her very distinctive meow was calm not her pained meow that I had been hearing near the end.

    ((Thank you all!))

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