This might not be what you are looking for but my DBIL was diagnosed with cancer about two years ago and my sister was so disappointed with the treatment he received. He had cancer in three places and it was stage 5. My sister is a salesperson and several of her clients told her to take him to the Cancer Center Treatment of America. There are four or five locations, but one is in Tulsa and another in Phildelphia.

My sister got on the website one night, I think it is www.cancercenter.com and talked to them online. She was so impressed.

You might look at the website and talk to them. My sister said they had so much support and she highly recommends them to anyone with cancer.

They would fly DBIL from Amarillo, Tx. to Tulsa, Ok. for his treatments.

Your Mom is in my prayers.

Gina -- I remember that you are from the Philadelphia area. Is your mom here? That's where I am and I work for a hospital with a WONDERFUL cancer center. If she is in Chester County, let me know.

I know Marisa Weiss, the doctor who founded breastcancer.org. She is amazing. She works for our hospital system and for my particular hospital.

Stop feeling guilty. You are doing what you can. You are doing exactly what you need to do. Just take a deep breath and take it one step at a time.

I'll be thinking of you both.

Gina,

"Stop feeling guilty. You are doing what you can. You are doing exactly what you need to do. Just take a deep breath and take it one step at a time." That is the best advise I have heard in along time.

I have no other help for you in BC, but know that you and your Mom are in our thoughts.

Gina, You are a brave and loving daughter that is doing everything you can for your Mother. Guilt has no place in this. Do what you are doing and just be there for her when you can.

Please know that you and your Mom are in my thoughts.

Ditto Gina, I'll be thinking of you both.

Hey Gina!

Shoot me an email - caliloo at yahoo dot com. If I remember correctly, your mom lives about 10 minutes from me and I would be happy to go over and help her in any way I can...... Even if it is just to keep her company and keep you posted on how she is doing.

Hang in there! You are absolutely doing the best you can!

Alexa

Gina, as frightening as cancer is, another week won't make any difference if she wants to see a particular doctor. For many reasons, it is usually several weeks between diagnosis and treatment of any kind of cancer.

I wonder why you had to "convince" her to see an oncologist. No other kind of doctor will or can treat cancer once surgery has been performed. It takes a team to treat cancer.

Your mom will need lots of emotional support. She will find it at her hospital and through her oncologist. Breast cancer has many support groups; she will be able to find one that suits her needs.

The best thing you can do for your mom is support her decisions. Let her have time to mull and worry and find her way. Don't overwhelm her with facts you uncover on the internet and what she "should" do. Give her doctors time to help her, and give her time to absorb the messages and adjust her feelings. In the emotional state that cancer plunges you into, it is almost impossible to think rationally in the first few days. You want answers, you want action, and you want immediate results. That is not how it works. Time helps.

I wish you peace good luck. I know what you mean about feeling guilty, but cancer is not something you can do anything about. You would feel guilty if you lived next door.

Sherry

Many people see a surgeon for the surgery and the surgeon says "no need to see an oncologist"....and they don't. Huge mistake!

Where is your mom's cancer? is it a lump in her breast? Is she other wise healthy?
She needs to find a surgeon, and preferably a " a breast specialist". Yep! There are places called Breast Clinics.

Where is she now? Has she had a needle biopsy?
Tell us more and perhaps some of us who have been there can walk you through it.
Linda C

Trixie, my DDIL is a nurse and took a job with the Cancer Center in the Philadelphia area a year or so ago. She and a number of other nurses left the place after a very short time, and she does NOT recommend the company to anyone. She won't give details, but she was quickly and greatly disillusioned after being courted to take the job, which was greatly misrepresented.

Even surgeons who specialize in breast cancer do not "make the call," Linda. It is pathologists who analyze the tissue and suggest followup. Many kinds of cancer require no chemo or radiation, but that discussion is always had between oncologist, surgeon, primary physician and patient.

In the case of kidney cancer, which I had, there is absolutely no post-surgical treatment. Nevertheless, I have an oncologist who manages my care in concert with my primary physician. I realize breast cancer is entirely different, but I have never heard of a surgeon or primary physician who said "no need to see an oncologist" for any kind of cancer. Even when no treatment is available, it is the oncologist who manages that aspect of a patient's health.

Sherry

Thank you all for such wonderful support! My mom lives in Southampton about 40 minutes outside of Philly. She never thought of an oncologist I guess because her surgeon never brought it up. It wasn't until I said something to her that she thought of it. I know waiting a week or 2 isn't going to change things, but I guess we just want answers.
Linda, my mom had the biopsy last week, they said it is invasive and it is a new cancer. She had a lumpectomy 2 years ago with no other treatment.
As far as the guilt thing goes, I was raised in a very strict Catholic family..need I say more! LOL
Alexa, that was an incrediably kind offer and Ijust may take you up on it, or at least we could get together when I come up. I am always blown away by the kindness of the forum. Their is so much unconditional love here it's amazing! Thank you all for such wonderful support! Gina

Sorry sherry....I know someone who currently is suffering from breast cancer which spread to ther bones because after her surgery her primary DR and her surgeon said there was no need for follow up with radiation nor chemo
I know it shouldn't be that way but it often is....I also have another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer, had a mastectomy and never met with an oncologist, because her Dr said it wasn't necessary....fortunatly her cancer was 16 years ago.
It happens! And a patient who's Dr says..."no need to mess with an oncologist....we got it all" is so relieved that often they just go along with the decision.
And The Cancer Centers of America specialize in alternate treatments, and up front cash....they are a for profit organization.
Linda C

The protocole for doing a lumpectomy is always a radiation follow up.
Be SURE your mom sees an oncologist.
Linda C

Gina, I wish there was something more I could do, but I do want you to know you're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Linda

Sherry, pathologists analyze the tissue and write a report on what they find, but they don't generally recommend a course of treatment. The oncologist or the team of surgeon and oncologist suggest treatment based on the pathologist's report plus other factors.

Other cancers may be different. (I had a biopsy for endometrial cancer (which turned out negative) and for that the usual treatment is hysterectomy without radiation or chemo. It tends to be caught early and doesn't have as much tendency to spread I guess.) For invasive breast cancer, everything I have read matches what Linda C says: normal treatment even in early stages is to have either a mastectomy or a lumpectomy and radiation followed by chemo. They found that based on studies.

Sometimes even after a mastectomy, radiation is needed (if the cancer has gotten too close to the chest wall). Sometimes if the cancer is large they do chemo before operating to shrink the cancer.

The radiation is because there can be cancer cells in parts of the breast where the blood flow doesn't get enough of the chemo to them. It is a local treatment to get any cancer cells left behind. The chemo is to get any cancer cells that have spread outside the breast by the lymph or blood flow.

Hi I am an 11 year BC survivor! After my wide excision biopsy came back cancerous we went back to see the surgeon and he lent me his copy of Dr. Susan Love's Breast book. She is a renowned breast surgeon and her book is thorough. My surgeon said that the surgical technique may be different but the rest was good information.I actually bought a copy for myself and my Dad bought a copy for himself so he would understand too. I have lent it out numerous times to the newly diagnosed friends of friends.
Sherry is right, usually they like to do surgery within 4 weeks of the biopsy results, there is no big hurry.
With how I presented, my surgeon( recommended by my GYN and one of the best in Baltimore and no not at Hopkins) sent me for a consult with a radiation oncologist to see if I was a candidate for a lumpectomy and radiation( the determination for chemo would come later after the rest of the pathology was done- as well as the biopsy of my lymph nodes- some of the sophisticated tests take longer than just cancer/benign test) or a modified radical mastectomy. It turned out that I was not a candidate for the lumpectomy so then I was sent to a plastic surgeon for a consult for reconstruction. The surgeons office made all of the calls and appts. for us.
After my surgery, I went to the oncologist and went every 3 months and then 6 months and then yearly. And now not at all!
I was considered early stage 1 or 0. I was very lucky even though I was pretty young at 44 that the cancer was not very aggressive. I was a candidate for tamoxifen and it was determined that was the only treatment I needed after my surgery and reconstruction.
At 84 the BC is likely not very agressive which means it is pretty slow growing. At her age it is likely she may die of something else before BC. I mean to be comforting, no one likes to think our loved ones will die. It may just be more that her body is wearing out as it is meant to do, rather than being a traumatic event like cancer in a young person.
Mastectomies are not complicated and I can attest that it was not painful. I had the reconstruction but 2 friends had mastectomys with no reconstructive surgery they were in their late 50s and they reported no pain as well.
Take a breath, and take one step at a time, as it comes. Call the PA State Medical Society and see if they have a physician referral service. or ask your gyn or primary care for names of docs. There are many excellent surgeons in the area- you dont need to travel to a center unless you have a particularly rare or extensive cancer.
HTH

I can't offer advice, but I ditto what everyone else says. Your Mom knows you love her and care about her, and will be there as much as you can, which is much more than a lot of children. (Not that you're a child - maybe I should have said offspring.) Remember, she has her church and her friends, and that's very, very important, and they will come through for her when you can't be there, and that's a good thing. They will want to help. Take care, and I'll be thinking of you and your mother.

Sally

Gina, the next step is to find out more information from the biopsy report. After they determined it was cancer, it should have been sent out for more tests to understand the kind of cancer cells.

You can look at the Your Pathology Report section of breastcancer.org for more information, but in summary it should tell you:

Size of the cancer - this is part of understanding how far along it is and influences the treatment.

Grade - this tells how different the cancer cells are from regular cells. 1 is least different and least aggressive, 3 is most different and most aggressive.

ER and PR - estrogen and progesterone receptors - this will be either positive or negative. Cancers that have these receptors (positive) can be fought with drugs that block the receptors (hormone therapy).

HER2 - another kind of receptor - HER2 positive cells have too many copies of this receptor which leads to fast growth. HER2+ cancers use to be bad news, but there is a targeted drug that stops these cells.

The cancer size and whether lymph nodes are involved determines stage - you won't know about lymph nodes until some are removed when they operate.

Knowing all this is useful because it determines the types of treatment that might be used. You can then focus your crash course on the information relevant to this cancer. For example, since my cancer is ER- and PR- I don't spend time reading about hormone therapy.

As far as supporting from a distance, do you know some of her friend or the people in her church? Can she get some help from them?

All good thoughts for your mom.

The surgeon didn't mention an oncologist. wow. My surgeon was on the phone to the cancer center making me an appointment at my first post-op appointment.

The oncologist said something to me that really stuck, "You can listen to all the anecdotal stories you want but remember everyone is different, treatment is very individualized now."

I wish her speedy results...waiting was the worst for me...it all got easier once we knew what we were dealing with and decided on a course of action.