Aging and Aching Dog... How do you know it's time?

15 years ago

Lots of knowledgeable dog lovers post here... I need your advice. Elsie is a nearly 14-yo yellow lab that we rescued when she was 11. Her long-time owners took her to the pound because they didn't want to deal with her aging issues. We rescued her, but decided before even getting her, that we would not do any "heroic" surgeries should the need arise as she would most likely not survive the invasion. She came to us with some stage of laryngeal paralysis, many fatty tumors, and probably having had mild strokes as one side of her face shows the same signs you see on a person with the features drooping. Oh, and she's deaf and mildly arthritic. And came to us with mild separation issues and some incontinence.

Fast forward a couple of years... everything is continuing on the path of degeneration. I'm home during the day, so I can get her out a couple of times each day, though she "leaks" constantly. If I leave the room and she doesn't see me go, she keeps barking until I get her and show her I haven't really left. She still goes for a walk every day, but between the wheezing from the paralysis and the hobbling from the arthritis, she can't get too far, but her tail wags happily every step of the way. Though more and more, her legs just give out on her after a very short time. She's been to the vet regularly for checkups, is only taking Glucosomine Condroitin (not sure if it's helping much at this point) and once last year, the wheezing got so bad (like a really bad cold), they gave her antibiotics and steroids and that brought things back to normal. She has a wonderful appetite (of course, she's a Lab!), has no weight issues, and blissfully sleeps a very large part of the day.

I've never had to euthanize a pet. What do I look for to know if/when it's time? I don't want her to suffer just because I can't let go. Mostly, as long as she seems to have a good appetite and breathes reasonably well and the wagging tail keeps going, I figure she's doing OK.

What else should/could I be doing at this point? What signs should I look for to tell if she's in too much pain? I just need advice, thanks.

Ann

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (29)

annie1992
15 years ago
Oh Dear, Ann. If you've posted this, you know the time is coming. I'm sorry you may have to make such a decision.

I learned my lesson with our first dachshund, Tammy. She died on my lap on Christmas Even and it was not pretty. For two weeks before she'd been unable to gt up and down the steps of the porch so I was carrying her outside, then back in and the girls fed her with a spoon. We should have made the loving and responsible decision then.

With the WonderWeiner, I knew. When he was visibly uncomfortable, when he stopped drinking, when I spent a couple of nights sleeping on the floor with him because he was too uncomfortable to sleep, that's when it was time. I loved him too much to let him suffer.

I agree, as long as she is eating and drinking, can breath and is not visibly in pain, she's just happy to be with you. The "leaking" isn't really a problem for her, LOL, only for you, so as long as you are willing to put up with the inconvenience, it's not a health issue. The barking is similar, although if she's clearly in a panic, then she's afraid and that could be a problem for her.

Poor old lady, she's lucky to have you.

Annie
goldgirl
15 years ago
I'm so sorry Ann.

Most of our dogs have had to be put down suddenly because there was no other choice. Our last one, however, was different - she was 13+ and had a brain tumor, so it was a matter of waiting and knowing when the time was as right as it could be.

With Goldens, as I imagine it is with Labs, the not-eating "rule" doesn't always make sense. Chammi ate like a champ right up until the end.

We knew it was time the day when we had to give her "real" pain medication. I looked at her and she drooled, and her eyes told me that it was time. She was an elegant old girl, and I wanted her to die with dignity. It was one of the hardest things we've ever had to do because she was still able to walk well, and her tail was still wagging.

Another issue was knowing that because of the nature of her illness, she was likely to eventually have a seizure and either die on her own or simply not be able to get up. We didn't want that to happen. I still question whether it was a little too early, but I've resigned myself to the fact that a little too soon was better for her than a little too late.

I have so much respect for you because recognize that you don't want to hold on because you can't let go.

Sue
Related Discussions
How do you know when it's time to find an Internist?
Q
Comments (14)
Okay, more thoughts from the side of the practitioner here...this is THE SECRET to obtaining comprehensive care: because all clinicians are so pressed for time in today's health care climate, a patient must triage their problems in order of priority and then feed them into the purview of their primary care provider one at a time. Its a great idea to bring in a list, but don't expect everything on the list to be managed at that one visit--know yourself what THE thing is that must be addressed at that visit, tell the clinician, then either hand the physical list over for reference at other visits to be put in your chart or just mentally make a note of where you are in your internal list of needs. Then go back for another visit until you've knocked all the problems down. The second thing is that communication between the people to whom we refer and the person doing the referring is uniformly shoddy--I think its a great scandal in medical care. Anyway, take the referring clinician's card, stick it in the hand of the person to whom you've been referred and ask them to send a note back on the visit to that person. Your chances are improved with this maneuver, but by no means guaranteed. Then, after a suitable amount of time has gone by--enough time for a transcribed note for the specialist visit to have been generated and sent--call the referring clinician and leave them a message as to whether they've received the results of your specialty visit. Ask them to call you with the results. This will prod them to ask someone on their staff to call the specialist and get them to FAX the note from you visit that they've not been sent, etc. etc. You've got to be an active participant in this game.
...See More
How do you know when it's time?
Q
Comments (13)
Personal decision, oh yes.. TOUGH.. OH YES! I was in that situation 5 months ago for the first time with my 12 year old cat and could not make the decision in time. He passed away just a few hours before the scheduled euthanasia, and it was NOT peaceful, after spending the whole night in my lap. We are now dealing with a cat with advanced CRF condition and A BAD leg .. this is why I am curious about your cat. Our cat started limping almost a year ago!! (left hind leg), quickly went to a plantigrade walk, and never recovered from that. He has NO feeling in that leg, and no muscles left either. It was heartbreaking to see him 'hobble along' as you say, and still is, but he manages to get around.. jump in his basket.. etc. He still can jump to about 1 foot (a little more, maybe). We have set up many special places in the house just for him. I also think it started with some calcification in his spine (next to tail) that pinched a nerve, hence the loss of his leg. I also suspect vaccinations as he limped badly from that leg a year before it all started (after a rabies shot). Anyway, more recent X-rays showed a growth in his pelvic area-osteosarcoma (vet diagnosis) And there have been days when there would be nothing at all in the litter box, and i realized how odd it is for me to be delighted to have pee or poop to scoop. I've been taking her little "accidents" ... boy, I can so relate to that!! Two things I might suggest. 1. Don't know what cat sand you use, but I replaced the clay dusty one (Cat's Pride) by a paper one: first just shredded newspaper, then yesterday's news and he seems to prefer that. It is much more absorbent and probably softer to him. He has had VERY, very few accidents since. I have also placed them closer to where he likes to spend time, so he does not have to go too far when he has an urge. Due to his kidney condition, he does urinate a lot and often. If your cat has FLUTI, he might prefer a softer litter box.. 2. Laxatone does not do much for constipation. Lactulose might be more effective. Sub-Q fluids would also help a lot. I hope your cat drinks a lot, especially if he is on prednisolone (hope it is not prednisone), otherwise he would be really dehydrated. Has your vet tested his urine?.. very easy and inexpensive test. Please, please.. keep us posted. My heart goes to you and to your very special feline friend. Anne-Marie
...See More
Need some advice--how do you know when it's 'time'?
Q
Comments (9)
Thank you, everyone. Animal lovers are the best! There's another beautiful kitty at Rainbow Bridge today. You're right....you know when it's time. I probably should've taken her last night, but she still responded, and having seen her this way before (albeit before getting this old and such), I thought if there was the outside chance she was in recovery from her episode, I wanted her to have it. But this morning, I knew. I was supposed to drive hubby to the airport this morning, but told him I didn't want to make her wait any longer. He drove himself and I took her to the animal ER. I think it was easier, just me and her. I can deal with my own grief, but I wouldn't have been able to with his (his mom's dying too), so I guess it worked out as it should. I held her, cuddled in my arms, as the vet gave the injection, and they gave me a few minutes afterwards too. It was a peaceful room--sofa, low light, waterfall and soothing music in the background. I guess being an ER, they're more than prepared for this type of thing. If it'd been any other morning than Sunday, I could've made arrangements with my own vet clinic to have someone come to the house, but it just didn't work that way. I did call the ER and ask if they knew a vet on call who would make a housecall, but there's none in our area. Oh well....it is what it is. Now she doesn't have to make the looong move with us. Casey will always have a piece of my heart and always be my baby. She'll be the standard against which all future pets are measured. Now to have to answer family and friend's question "how are you doing?" I hate crying in front of people, but I can't imagine even mentioning her name without crying for awhile. Anyway, thanks SO much for all your support these last few months. I'll check back from time to time because I got used to following everyone's stories with their pets, etc. (even if I don't post much). I'll let you know when I get a new kitty to love, too. We'll get settled in our new location first, maybe take a trip or two since we haven't in about 4-5 yrs (since Casey got older and more "needy"). Gotta first find some wondeful neighbors I can trust to care for my pet when we're away....we have the best here where we are--I was sure going to miss them. Later, Tracey
...See More
How do you know when it's 'time'?
Q
Comments (12)
I'm sorry and I feel for you in your dilemma. Our last two dogs went into similar declines but it was easier because I am retired now and was home with them all the time. We had to help both the collie and sheltie up by lifting their back ends. When our collie finally could not stand even when helped to his feet, we knew it was time and my husband carried him to the car, and at the vets they used a stretcher to bring him inside and put him down. My sheltie went into some sort of respiratory distress at the end, and collapsed, and we knew that that was the end for her. I asked the vet about treating her but he gave her a very slim chance of recovery, so it seemed kinder to let her go, than to leave her alone at the vet hospital hooked up to machines when in the end she would not likely survive. It is a hard decision and much depends on the circumstances. My old collie in the past's legs kept giving out on him and he would cry in distress unable to rise. I was afraid this would happen while I was at work and so I brought him in to be euthanized while he was still ambulatory. I figure if my old timers are still enjoying part of their lives and are not in acute pain, they still want to live. I had to feed my last two dogs by hand because they could not eat comfortably from their dishes at a certain point. I also had a small water dish that I offered to my sheltie while she was lying down, so she did not have to get up to drink. Both received sub-Q fluids that seemed to help them, and also helped their appetites. The collie had a malignant fast growing tumor that began to interfere with his urinary system and at the end urine just ran out of him while he slept. I covered his beds with waterproof plastic tarps and covered that with washable soft blankets and quilts. I think both wanted to be with us and continue on until both went into final health crises. It is a hard decision, and there is no easy answer, but it sounds as if your dog still is enjoying your company even though his active days are behind him. In his dreams he may still be running and playing as he did before.
...See More
mboston_gw
15 years ago
We had to go through this with our Brittany about 4 years ago. She had hip displasia and suffered with it for several years. Towards the end, she was panting alot, a sign of pain the doctor said and then one evening she went to step up our little step from the breakfast area to kitchen and she whinned and immediately laid down. Turns out she had a mass in her tummy. Since she was 14 and in so much pain from the hips, we decided surgery wan't an option. We kept her on meds for a week - she actually seemed better and we considered surgery - she had a way of playing with me with her paws, like a kitten might do, she hadn't done that in a long time and that Friday night she did. We talked about taking her in the next Monday and seeing what the surgery would be like for her. That Sat. morning we got up, she was in the same spot we left her in the night before - she couldn't get up. The look in her eyes told us - it was time.

You will know - she will too.
doucanoe
15 years ago
Ann my heart breaks for you, but I understand what you are faced with. As it goes, we will be faced with the same decision soon ourselves.

As the others have said, they have a way of letting us know when it's "time". I wish you all the strength and courage necessary to do the right thing for Elsie when it needs to be done.

How fortunate for her to have found a loving family that would care for her in her later years. I can't understand how her first family could give her up just because she was aging. Love for our pets should be unconditional just like their love for us is.

Linda
riverrat1
15 years ago
Ann, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You will know when the time comes.

All of the issues Elsie is having are the same issues that my Captain (Bassett Hound) was having. He lived to the ripe old age of 17. We kenneled him while we went on vacation and when we got back I couldn't wait to go pick him up. As I was walking out the door to get him from the kennel the phone rang. It was the vet's office calling to say that he didn't wake up that morning.He knew it was time to go. I felt so sad that I wasn't with him...Don't let it go that long. Elsie will love you for that!

Take care Ann. I'll be thinking of you and Elsie.
loagiehoagie
15 years ago
Ann, I too know what you are going through. My yellow lab Duke is almost 14 (Nov.13) and is having some issues. That wheezing you describe might be laryngeal parylsis which my doggie has...rasping for breath mostly when excited or when it is very hot/humid outside. At 14 there is nothing really to do about that except keep her calm as much as you can. Duke can't go for car rides anymore ...it would push him over the edge...so I had a mobile vet come out for his checkup and vaccinations this year.

For the pain my vet has prescribed Tramadol and that works very well. I would see if that might help Elsie. Get a large quantity if you can. 20 pills cost $18.00 at my regular vet wheras I got 500 from my mobile vet for $50.00.

The 'leaking' can be corrected by a doggie diaper. I change one of my clients' dogs daily and it isn't a big deal. It wraps around the midsection with velcro and the inside pads are disposable. Consider yourself lucky.....my Duke sometimes doesn't know he has to go #2 until it's too late. I took a stool sample in and he had bacteria in his stool so hopefully that will be mostly resolved after his latest batch of antibiotics are done with.

Give Elsie a hug and loving every day. I personally don't think she is ready to go yet. If she is happy and eating and sleeping most of the time she is probably okay for awhile. They have a way of telling you when it is the right time. Bless you for taking on an aging dog. Not many people would do that so I know you truly have a heart of gold.

Duane
spacific
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you all for your notes. I do hope I will know when it's time. It's not today. The sun is shining. Both furballs are sitting at my feet while I type this. Elsie is snoring. Jett, the 4-yo yellow lab again gave up her spot so that Elsie could be closer to me.

I appreciate that you all shared your personal experiences. It really helps.

Duane, yes, Elsie definitely has laryngeal paralysis. That scares me the most. I don't want to face watching her not being able to breathe. And as she gets more panicked when she can't find me, she starts the wheezing and barking. Other than that, I think she could live quite a while. It sounds like Duke and Elsie are much alike. Thanks for the suggestions about the pain meds and diapers. I'll check into both.

Ann
lpinkmountain
15 years ago
My friends just went thru this same thing. Very difficult. Obviously looking for signs of pain that can't be easily controlled. However, I will say that the last year of my friend's dog's life was really no picnic for him or them. For both the good and bad, every day is a new day for a dog. It's up to us to decide how much good will be left in that day for the dog.
lindac
15 years ago
This subject is very very close to me right now...
Have you tried easing her aches with asperin or rimidyl? my daughter gives her elderly golden something she calls magic elixir...a nsaid for dogs and she now occasionally gallops like a teenager.
How would you like to face the arthritic aches without an advil or some such pain killer?
Get her on something to ease the aches....she may surprise you.
Linda C
loagiehoagie
15 years ago
Linda, the Tramadol is a pain reliever although yours might help as well. Duke is and has been on Meloxican for several years which is an arthritis medication. That might be something to check into as well. Aside from everything else love Elsie and appreciate her everyday. None of us live forever but the unconditional love given by our animals makes it extra hard when they start fading. I know Linda just lost Chabby and it hurts like hell. Sometimes there is a fine line between keeping them with us for our sake and selfishness and just not knowing if truly it is their time to go. Very hard. Trust your gut and give that special girl an ear rub from me. Labs are wonderful and loving dogs. No wonder they are the number one dog in the USA.

Duane
centralcacyclist
15 years ago
My 10 year old girl (Yellow Lab) has gotten delicate. She had bouts this summer with pancreatitis, a bladder infection, and rat poison. She has some arthritis but still has a bit of spring in her step. I will probably ask the vet for some pain meds soon. Her digestive system seems to work much better on an easy-to-digest grain-free food. Anything with corn gives her awful gas and other troubles. All the grocery dog foods are mostly corn. Right now I feed her Nature's Recipe Salmon, Sweet Potato, and Pumpkin. It seems to be a good choice.

She has never been anxious. And is happy to sleep most of the day. She stays close to me and I am home most of the time.
spacific
Original Author
15 years ago
Thanks all for the suggestions for pain meds. I'll check in with the vet on the topic. Up to now, she had not recommended any meds, and in general, as we do for the humans in the family, we first try to find non-pharmaceutical solutions, but it might be time for something stronger. Barnmom, we use Natural Balance limited ingredients dry dog food - no corn products. I'm really happy with them.

Here's a picture of Jett (front) and Elsie (back)
wizardnm
15 years ago
Ann, thanks for the picture, I just want to give both dogs a hug. Oh, and you too, for being such a good doggie mama.

Nancy
spacific
Original Author
15 years ago
Ok, the girls got hugs all around. (That's one thing they're not lacking around here!) As for adopting an aging dog, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Jett, we got as a puppy. Zeke (DS) named her and they are growing up together. She's a great dog for a kid, but a puppy's energy is a different kind of hard work. An older dog doesn't have to prove anything. Elsie is just happy to be around us. Mostly she just likes to keep my feet warm while I work. Do you all remember Aunt Clara from the "Bewitched" TV show? She always had that slightly bewildered, but happy look on her face when things didn't go quite right... that's Elsie.

By the way, here's the rescue organization where I found Elsie. You can read about her in the "Happy Endings" section.

Here is a link that might be useful: Fetching Companions
spacific
Original Author
15 years ago
Just checking back on this original thread... your comments and thought and care that came through helped me more than I can express.

On Thursday night, Elsie had a terrible time, she woke up a number of times through the night whining in pain. I ended up sleeping on the floor with her much of the night. In the morning, she couldn't get up. Her legs would not hold her. She took a couple of token bites of food. She was so listless and had that look that just said "I'm so done."

I called the vet. We spent our last couple of hours sitting together out on the front porch in a patch of warm sunshine. Thank goodness the rains had stopped. DH, DS and I all were with her at the end.
User
15 years ago
Ann, your post brings Stetson's last days right back to me. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Ann
spacific
Original Author
15 years ago
Ann, you're up early on this first day of the year. I'm just sitting here, staring at the screen. Everyone else is still sleeping. It doesn't seem quite real. The pain doesn't easily go away does it? Thank you for posting. Stetson's a good name.
Ann
sally2_gw
15 years ago
Ann, I'm so sorry you're starting the year this way, but at least Elsie got to spend her last years and days with people that loved and cared for her as much as you all did. My heart goes out to you as you miss your dear sweet Elsie.

Sally
doucanoe
15 years ago
Oh Ann, I am so sorry. But she did let you know the time had come, didn't she?

She was beautiful and a very lucky and much loved girl.
RIP Elsie....

Linda
User
15 years ago
Oh Ann I wish I had seen this earlier. My heart goes out to you and your DH.

I know only too well how hard this is. Elsie was just as lucky top have you as you were to have her.

Sharon
jessyf
15 years ago
(((spacific and family)))

Bless you guys for taking in Elsie. WTG!
lsr2002
15 years ago
My heart aches for you, and we have been there too. Elsie was very lucky to have you for her family in her final years. I've sent a thought message to O.D. Hoover and Brockley to look for her. They would all be good friends.

Oliver sends licks of comfort to Jett and we send hugs to all of you.

Lee
sushipup1
15 years ago
Ann, it's always such a sorrow to lose a part of your heart. May the memory of her always keep you company.

It is hard to express myself, a lot of people have lost their dogs recently, and I never know what to say.

Just my deepest sympathies.
goldgirl
15 years ago
Ann - I'm so sorry to hear about Elsie. You gave her a gift in letting her go. Thinking of you and your family.

Sue
booberry85
15 years ago
I'm so sorry. We had to put two dogs down in 2010. The decision is not easy, but I think you did the right thing (the right thing usually isn't the easiest.) Give lots of love to Jett!

Take care.
Becky
beachlily z9a
15 years ago
Elsie was one lucky dog and I think she knew that! Hopefully there were no children in her first family. The parents taught a lesson that could backfire on them--when someone gets old, dump them if they have medical problems.

Ann, you and your family deserve a medal! Not many people will adopt a old dog. You loved her, took care of her and in return, she had a wonderful last few years! Her love for you was evident, also.

Bless you! I hope the pain passes and that you only remember the grand old lady that lived with you for a short while.
chancesmom
15 years ago
Oh Ann, I am so sorry to read this. It has been 3 months since we lost Cleo, and I still cry about her frequently. She sounds like she was a wonderful, faithful companion. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family. It is a rough time.

janet
spacific
Original Author
15 years ago
I so much appreciate all the kind words and thoughts. Elsie was a gift to our family. If you ever have the opportunity and space in heart and home to adopt an older dog, I highly recommend it. Whether they're our human or fur families, it's so hard to say goodbye.

(((CF friends)))
claire_de_luna
15 years ago
Ann, I'm so sorry for your loss. It never feels good, helping them in the end even when it's the right time/thing to do. ((Hugs to You.))

Aging and Aching Dog... How do you know it's time?

Comments (29)

annie1992

goldgirl

Related Discussions

mboston_gw

doucanoe

riverrat1

loagiehoagie

spacific
Original Author

lpinkmountain

lindac

loagiehoagie

centralcacyclist

spacific
Original Author

wizardnm

spacific
Original Author

spacific
Original Author

User

spacific
Original Author

sally2_gw

doucanoe

User

jessyf

lsr2002

sushipup1

goldgirl

booberry85

beachlily z9a

chancesmom

spacific
Original Author

claire_de_luna

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Aging and Aching Dog... How do you know it's time?

Comments (29)

Related Discussions

spacificOriginal Author

spacificOriginal Author

spacificOriginal Author

spacificOriginal Author

spacificOriginal Author

spacificOriginal Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

spacific
Original Author

spacific
Original Author

spacific
Original Author

spacific
Original Author

spacific
Original Author

spacific
Original Author