Leone, I'm so sorry to hear this about George and I know he must really be upset about the latest in bad news.

The good news is the Dr. is right and he needs to try to focus on letting his body try to work the best it can and not push the edge of the envelope to test himself--he will be feel better about himself once he stops and pays attention to his body-
--what works, what doesn't.....each day......even each hour!

He may be really pleased with himself in a couple of months. when he can get a around a lot better.
I know it sounds like a really stupid thing to say, but it wouldn't hurt if he gave himself a pat on the back when he feels like he's taken a step forward.

George, I'm only telling Leone this because I know right now you don't want any advice, so I'm not telling you---I'm telling HER! :o)
Hugs for both of you!

Leone, I'm so sorry. Strong-willed, independent men make the lousiest patients in the world --- they have no patience with themselves. Do you think you could get him to scoot around on something like this while he works in the garden? It'd make stoop work easier and help him stand more easily when he needs to. (I know better than to think he'd stay out of the garden altogether.)

I know this is a difficult adjustment for both of you. It wouldn't be so bad if he were lazy or incapable, but we all know he's the opposite of those, and must be having a devil of a time sitting still while his body recovers.

Please take this hug, and go share it with him: (((Leone)))

What Gandle and my husband and no doubt thousands others need is a seat on a garden tractor that swivels like the seat on a bass boat swivels... and raises and lowers like the seats of office chairs do...with a safety bar across the front or a
padded board they could lean on to lean over and reach things.

Someone will come up with it... just let them think on it for a bit.

The elderly gentleman that lives down the road from me will be 93 soon... he has solved the problem of his garbage burning
with the deck and the handles and wheels of an old lawmower..

he tilts a small garbage can against the handle, resting it on the deck, and rolls it right out to his burn pile.

Prolly found the lawn mower in the junk pile someplace.

Guys being guys... I can just imagine what Gandle or my husband would say if Leone or I needed to use a cane and refused to the point of risking a bad fall and a broken hip.

Leone, thanks for the note. I understand that when things do not work the way they are supposed to it is aggravating. George is a problem solver and will not give up till he fixes it. George, keep on keepin on and take care of yourself.

Exactly what Don said. Gandle's posts over these years show that he is the type of man who works with something until he finds a solution one way or another. It's a lot easier with a gadget than yourself,but he'll do it. Wish things were different for both of you right now. When you say nerve damage,are you talking about neuropathy from his chemo?

It took a year and a few falls in public, until my husband decided that a cane was the lesser evil and I am still fighting about using a cane or walker in the house. So consequently I listen constantly for that thump. Men can be so stubborn.
Used to be that a cane was something a suave gentleman could not go without! My grandfather and even my father had several canes, one for hicking, one for the city or work and then there was the Sunday go to church or go out in style one, ebony with a silver handle. When time came to really need a cane for health reasons, it was no problem.The later is in my posession and when I need it I will use it.

Just got back from a tune-up from my chiropractor since I slammed in a wall again a couple of days ago. He told me to use my Nordic Walking Sticks for the time being when going for my morning walk. Looks like intense long distance training, LOL, and gives support. Leone, please keep nagging, it takes time to create a different nerv pathway.

Leone, I'm sorry to hear of George's balance problem and fall. Hope he didn't hurt anything.

Just this morning, my DH stepped on uneven ground, lost his balance and went down. It happened so fast he was very surprised to find himself sitting on the grass! B/C he wears a leg brace, he wasn't able to crawl to the deck to pull himself upright. Fortunately, a neighbor was nearby and helped him to his feet.

George, please give your body time to work this out. Hugs to both you and Leone.

((((((George and Leone))))))

I saw this earlier and wanted to think before I responded. I still have no words, except that I am deeply sorry. ((((Leone and George))))

If I might cheer you up, I thought of you the other day. I had a taste of wine and when I was done, I realized there was a dreadfully horrible taste left. It was like wet animal fur. Truly. Not nearly as tasty as "anchovies and cigarette butts" as you so aptly (I'm guessing, but I don't doubt it) described your wine, but maybe as close.

:)

This business with the garden just can't be done with a regular cane. I went to the Internet and ordered one of those Quad canes. Those are the ones with the four little legs. It lets me stoop, squat and get up. Even if I have been sitting flat on the ground, it is study enough that I can pull myself up with it. It provides for steady footing when I'm outside.

Maybe you could talk him into one of those for the outside. Makes all the difference in the world for me. My head and my feet don't speak the same language anymore.

Remind him that it would be you that had to help him around if he fell and broke a hip or something.

I too, am sorry that he's having difficulty. As someone with an occasional balance problem [due to inner ear issues] and astygmatism [means the door edge is actually an inch or two other than where I see it], I know just how unexpected -and painful- a sudden vertical relocation can be. Fighting the tendency to off-balance is good, but remind him to NOT fight the actual fall itself... there's a reason babies and the inebriated get so few injuries and that is because their muscles are relaxed instead of stiff and resistant. You get fewer bruises if you land with a blob instead of a bounce.

On bad days, I use a walker with wheels, not to walk but to grab and hoist meself up. I hung pockets and bags from it to hold trowels and towels, bugspray, sunscreen, pruners and all the odds and ends one wants when the toolshed is on the opposite side of the garden. A neighbor thought I made it just for carrying stuff and now uses one himself, although he has neither balance nor arising difficultes, (he's only forty, lol).

I'm sorry George is depressed. Sometimes Doctors think they're being realistic when they're actually being a bit harsh, not to mention that they don't encourage hope or take into account human spirit. In other words the Doctors don't know everything. I have faith that George will retrain those neuro pathways. Yes, it sure can take a while but it can ... let me repeat.. CAN .. happen. Don't give up George. We know you and your spirit better than that.

I second Aileen/Agnes/Puffy with the quad cane. I have had to use a cane for many years, off and on, mostly on. I really liked my nice wooden cane and thought the quad canes were ugly. Well, eventually, common sense took over and I realized that with the quad cane it supports itself, so that when I'm outside I can just let it stand by itself when I don't need it but when I'm bending or getting back up I can use it for support. Just remember that using things like canes help your mind train those nerves. Getting them to do what they should with help is a very good way to help your body remember what you want it to do. It's not giving in, it's retraining. Nerves are amazing things and can regenerate in rather unexpected ways. Hang in there.

Hang in there and ditto on what all said above.

When he is outside, my husband's tractor is his legs. He even drives it down to the road to get the mail. He has not given up gardening, even though he does it on his butt now, instead of stooping. He also uses a cane. I brought him back a carved cane from England, with the head of a duck as a handle. It's his calling card now, and he's never been embarrassed to use it. He also wears a leg brace.

I'm not diminishing what Gandle is going through. He will grieve his loss, get pithed, and then move on. I am so sorry he is down in the dumps, and for your frustrations. My mother also had balance problems due to a neuroma. She lived with it and found ways to work around it for years. My thoughts are with you both.